It’s been a week full of news, some exciting, some alarming. Chris breaks the site…repeatedly. Kelley comes to terms with the fact mowing the lawn is hard in real life. Josh explains Japanese tabloid scandals. Anna Marie assigns a tedious task to Pascal.
Chris snuggles his Teddy body pillow. Kelley signs up for rare Pokémon. Josh sacrifices children (what?!). Meanwhile Anna Marie is off celebrating her birthday by spreading the hork.
It’s a tiny cast with just Chris, Anna Marie, and Kelley. PS5 blood money is being thrown around, while Kelley curses the asthma tax. Chris is simulating his real life job in a game that simulates his job. Anna Marie re-discovers she doesn’t like SMT. And everyone agrees cutscenes need both pause and skip options.
Alex, Anna Marie, Chris, and Kelley come together to discuss the news of the week. #JRPGJuly is well underway for everyone on the cast. Anna Marie makes every evil choice she can. Alex dives into Anime: The Game. Chris shouldn’t be playing Elder Scrolls Online because his arm hurts, and yet he still is? Meanwhile, we lost Kelley somewhere in the wastelands when she wandered off to hug all the monsties.
Joshua asks “Am I fighting a house?!” (spoilers: he is). Chris is on the wrong side of 40, and somehow forgets JRPGJuly. Kelley espouses “Exposure: The Cryptocurrency of Artists.” Anna Marie is teaching the whole RPGamer staff how to speedrun FF4: Free Enterprise. Yes, things got a little…weird this week.
Anna Marie, Chris, and Kelley are joined by special guest Ryan Radcliff! Chris swears every time E3 fails, an angel gets its wings. Anna Marie refuses to play games she’s in. Kelley wants to pet the cat cream roll. And Ryan is dragging around Paws’s corpse as he spins all the wheels.
On this week’s show, Chris is going through his failed Kickstarters; Anna Marie is off banging a ghost, which was fun; Kelley is collecting wheels of cheese in Skyrim; Josh is lookin’ fly in his Yakuza shoes; and Alex wonders why he didn’t just skip this week and write more E3 stories.
It’s the Old People Cast! Chris has issues with podcasts. Kelley asks if the gelatinous cube was worth it – it isn’t. Pascal is buried under a giant pile of visual novels. Anna Marie comes down with typhoid. And Robert insists there’s always room for more zippers.
Sam joins us this week for some Netflix and Krill. Anna Marie has to deal with a crisis on infinite Chris. Kelley asks the question, “Bidoff: photogenic or photobombing?” And Matt has to whistle Yuji Horii down from his crazy DQ teasing.
Robert, Kelley, Anna Marie, and Chris develop a King Arthur musou. Also, while we’re wondering why there are two cat races in FFXIV, we realize the biggest concern is where to buy our giant scythes.
Anna Marie wonders why we can’t be friends. Jonathan becomes a Marbula One fan. Kelley engages “pants off, games on” mode. And Chris learns that the only person he’s cheating is himself…and his dire gryphon.
Pascal falls asleep while playing every game except one. Chris knows nothing about pretty much every game. Matt needs to put some clothes on. And Josh gets a salt lick. Man this chafing sucks.
Chris gets review bombed outta existence, after Pascal gleefully mocks the list of games that Chris still didn’t play. Anna Marie insists genital monsters yes, f-bombs no. Kelley thinks Anna Marie should get out of the pocket of Big Farming. We’re all pretty tired from vaccine side effects, please bear with us.
It’s another explicit week, as Sam calls Chris poopy. Anna Marie can’t understand Dutch (even though she likes to think she does), while Pascal imagines he’s eating a sausage. Josh is slowly falling under the spell of Mass Effect Stockholm Syndrome, and somehow Chris is equally obsessed with shoes, jeggings, and dead Google products. Save us.
It’s just the core trio this week, as Chris tosses a coin to his hunting horn partner Kelley, and Anna Marie rolls her eyes as Chris cracks terrible jokes about what the Vita really means. We all consider MiHoYo’s bottom line, as well as whether we’re classified as normies.
Josh tells us another tale of the Mehss Effect. Sam poots. Anna Marie gets snuggles, not struggles. Kelley tells us about the big hole in her heart. And Chris disinfects himself with Atelier Lysol.
Alex looks so good he must be rendered. Robert rickrolls all the things. Kelley is our Neptunian Angel. Chris is getting ready to Rise, but first he must Ryza.
It’s a slightly quieter week after the mass dump of games that was February and the first week of March. Kelley doesn’t want her mom to think she’s watching hentai, while Anna Marie insists our reviewers don’t hate every game. Josh will one day be free of the epic grip of Cold Steel IV, but not before Chris convinces him if he just lifts a truck, he can find a new orbment.
Kelley reviews a game in cats, Josh mourns the Moe, Chris gets to say Gugnir again, and Jonathan gets surpassed by his own progeny.
Chris really wants a giant salad in a bread bowl, Anna Marie says no to Poké-non theories. Kelley is having all the Crises because Chris won’t let her read the news in peace, and Alex is quietly contemplating a Final Fantasy VII: Belt Edition while everyone argues.
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