Chris puts on his tummy control sumo pants and gets uploaded into a big booby robot girl. Kelley married a Lego elitist who won’t pirate a pirate ship. Robert stares into catfinity, and the bunny stares back.
Chris wonders if they serve tea at British rock concerts. Kelley gets smashed in the face with a chicken. Josh learns about alliance diaper gnomes. Do not google “diaper gnomes.”
Chris builds a house with a tiger in it. Ryan remembers that bush. And Robert has to fend off the fan boys trying to take his Nikke girls. One week till Extra Life, please help us heal kids and identify bicycles.
Josh explains that all Genesis music is bad. Robert only has sub-standards for video games. Chris arm-chair quarterbacks the Persona 3 remake. Not the ramp!
Spooky month rolls on! This week we return to the FromSoftware well we dove into last October to talk Bloodborne. David, Wheels, and Pascal are our Hunters as we battle our way through another bloody classic.
Sam wants two things, coke and nuggs. Robert hails the hypnobooty. Ryan has to go recruit more Ryans. And Chris commissions a new Sesame Street horror adventure. Guard your eyes.
Chris sets out to get justice for Hana. Kelley complains about vegan technology. Robert tells us all about the vacuum cleaner machine gun. And Ryan wonders why the “silent” princess won’t shut up.
Chris launches his new brand, Elsa coffee. Kelley’s Pokémon demand she finds a caramel apple and a teacup. Ryan apparently got left in Seattle and is still at PAX West.
Josh learns that despite Bethesda’s best efforts, Starfield is not Fallout 76. Robert learns the taste of Amiibo blood. Chris is just here to ask, “kink-why?” And Kelley is obsessed with Red XIII on a chocobo.
Chris dresses Pikachu up like a schoolboy with a camera. Josh wants his flight stick, he needs a HOTAS. Kelley wants Final Fantasy VII Rebirth to end like an episode of JoJo. Follow Solstice Warriors on their Myspace music page.
Kelley dishonors herself in Baldur’s Gate 3 and retreats to Vampire Survivors. Chris goes on the hunt for Dr. Robotminsc. Robert hits level 50 before the third scripted battle.
Kelley needs a good toilet game. Chris wonders where to hold the sword-chucks. Josh discovers the Trails series gets more anime the further it goes. And Jason wonders if Dory has ADHD. What’s his name again? Oh right, Wyl.
Kelley plays Atelier Rhianna. Chris puts his DnD characters into wrestling matches. Phil practices creepy gnome-cromancy. Someone fetch my Diablo 4 procrastination bucket.
Kelley doesn’t want to bang Gambit that bad. Chris wants foilage in games. Jason discovers a new service at the spa. And Josh tells everyone, “Go away, I’m brooding.”
Sam puts magnets on her arms. Kelley sits down to play Diablo 4 with a proper English muffin. Chris gets hit with a pie for money. And Phil has the cast roll a head-petting check.
Kelley tries to capture a goat. Robert is trapped in a corner by the nightmares. Josh upgrades his tank and hopes to get a good ending this time. Will Chris beat FFXVI this week?
Matt makes twenty slices of toast. Josh is still fighting sewer rat six. Kelley’s dog is NOT a baby. And Chris saves E3 with the power of…no…he can’t do it. No GEX allowed.
Chris can’t drink his coffee anymore. Kelley plays Sonic on Titan’s tentacles. And Jason reminisces about the Ouya with Mads Middleton.
Chris discovers the truth about butt-type Pokémon. TAM chooses to outfit his battle-leotard with option 3 — pants. Kelley thinks all the games look amazing, she doesn’t want to play it. And Josh claims that, “God gave me a H.O.T.A.S., and I’m going to use it!”
Chris suffers from “The Curse of the Steam Deck.” Kelley can’t pickpocket, so she mugs people at night. And Ryan likes practical grave robbers. Curl up in your clothmap quilt and enjoy our cozy ’60s demon world.
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