The Saving Throw
Most Ridiculous Gaming Moments Apr. 26, 2006
These are the gaming moments that defy comprehension or are simply truly stupid or ridiculous.

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The Psychic Dwarf Goes to the Tavern
  contributed by Derek 'Roku' Cavin

This particular story takes place in one of my many adventures in the world of Advanced Dungeons and Dragons. What makes this tale different from most of my other ones is that the roles were reversed this time. I am usually the gamemaster while my friends are the players, but I was the player in their campaign in this case. As usual, I rolled the stats for my character, but since none of my stats were particularly low or high I decided to do something unusual to avoid playing a boring, average character with no specialties. I decided that I was going to be a Lawful Good Dwarf with telekinetic abilities. I also decided to give up a good deal of potential starting money to play a Peasant Hero.

The adventure began as they usually do: some event pulled me away from my peaceful life in order to help people. In this case, zombies had appeared and attacked a nearby farm. They were also trickling into my village. Being a local hero, albeit a poor one, I was asked to take care of those in the town. One of my special abilities is to make things explode using telekinesis, so taking care of a few zombies was well within the range of my stamina.

Upon hearing of my exploits, I was asked by some important individual to repeat the process on a zombie that had been captured. I obliged and impressed the man enough to earn myself a bit of money and a mission to investigate and rid the farm of zombies. This was a small village, so we didn't have a whole lot of places that I could conduct research in, so I decided to head for the tavern and see if anybody know anything relevant to the case.

I ask around a bit and find someone who worked around the farm before the incident. I pull up a stool and begin talking to him. Unfortunately, this is where things became a bit absurd as he won't even give me the time of day. Now, I can certainly understand that in some cases, but let's review:

  • I am a peasant hero and have good charisma. Peasant heroes are poor, but in exchange they are supposed to receive a lot of added hospitality by anyone within the village of the origin, among other things.

  • I just kind of saved the city with this guy watching. Sure it was only a few zombies, but I have the ability to save this guy's farm and he knows it. Why is he so resistant?

  • I have mind powers. I'm level one, so I'm no Jedi or anything, but one of my abilities is quite literally the power to do just about any minor task I can think of including persuading people.

So, obviously I'm a bit stunned at this and try to figure out what's going on. Well, the first thing that pops into my mind is that he wants me to buy him a drink. Well, I think we've established by now that I'm rather poor, but I need the information so I buy one for him.

Now, at this point I wasn't exactly expecting the most courteous response from the man, but what came next completely baffled me. They took my money, gave the man the drink, then kicked me out of the tavern.


"We don't take kindly to people buying drinks for others."

And thus I, the completely baffled Peasant Hero with good charisma and mind powers, was kicked out of the tavern for buying someone a drink.

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