The Saving Throw
Most Ridiculous Gaming Moments Mar. 29, 2006
These are the gaming moments that defy comprehension or are simply truly stupid or ridiculous.

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Gone Bananas
  contributed by Macstorm

This is a trip down memory lane for me as this adventure took place nearly a decade ago. We were playing a made-up campaign; there were no rule books or real setting. I always aimed to be the unique one of the group, never playing a traditional role nor doing what was expected of me. Our group included my human illusionist, a dwarf berserker, and an elven fighter. All of us were excited as this was a first-ever adventure for all three of us.

We had just begun the adventure and were entering the tree town of Anknar. Anknar was known for its animal-friendly nature, so the first stop we made was to the pet vendor. It wasn't really a vendor, exactly, since the animals were a gift from the people of the town. Don't ask me; I guess our DM just wanted us to have a pet. I was offered the first choice, and the vendor kept trying to push a peregrine falcon on me, telling me that it would really compliment my magic skills and might come in handy later. I ignored the comments and passed, deciding to continue searching. The elf took the falcon and the dwarf ended up with some weird pig-dog crossbreed that ran away shortly after we left town. After a few more minutes of searching, I finally found my pet, a spider monkey which I named Bongo. Bongo was an accomplished jumper, seemingly magical, as he could almost fly from tree to tree. I was extremely pleased as Bongo was also well trained in retrieving things and useful for distracting enemies during battles. He complimented me quite well, I thought.

Just a few days later our group found ourselves trapped. What we thought was an earthquake struck as we were exploring a cave. The cave turned out to be an evil mage's lair and he wasn't happy about having intruders. We had taken a few treasures that we had found in the cave, so it was understandable. We ended up stuck high on a raised platform hanging above a pit of acid or some other horribly painful liquid as the mage talked to us from about 50 feet away across a gap. The mage explained that he was going to let us starve to death out on that platform. He seemed to find slaughtering us to be meaningless. He said there was little we could do to escape, and he wanted to see if we would turn on each other before the end.

After he left, we began examining the area for any means of escape. I noticed a small platform about two feet wide with a switch above it. It was over near where the mage had been, so I figured it was some sort of control lever. Without hesitation I commanded my spider monkey to jump across the gap to the switch. After all, I had seen him jump almost twice that distance before. We all watched as Bongo easily sailed across to the platform and pulled the switch just as I had commanded. The platform gave way beneath Bongo, and he plummeted to his death. Needless to say, not the brightest move on my part.

I don't recall exactly how we escaped, but I do know that the peregrine falcon played a major part in it, even netting our fighter some nice loot in the process. I do recall that we heard the mage laughing on our way out. It seems that we had entertained him enough so that he didn't pursue.

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