Ask Veronica
Jaded Lampshade
Ask Veronica, The Chocolate Milk, Please, Gamera - 12:30 CST

Heyas guys. Welcome to a *very* short column, and I mean short. I understand that Dub vs. Sub in video game FMV's is a hot topic, but to avoid another animé fiasco I've decided not to carry on the discussion. However Googleshng has an e-mail address.. *hint, hint*

I'd also like to announce that tomorrow is All-Quickie Day. Tomorrow's update will consist of nothing but Quickie letters. Be sure to send the insane, the stupid, and hopefully a few intelligent letters. o.o I say hopefully, because I'm not asking for a miracle...

On to *short* Q & A mayhem!

Invisible Girl:
I'm invisible! Can you see me? :D

Got a quickie?

Send it here!
If you dare to compare me to Veronica from Road Rules I'll do something bad. Something very bad.

Recent Q&A's


The Old stuff
The Archives
Now Playing:
Final Fantasy 8
Words can not express how much I despise Malboros.
And that's the bottom line, because Ronnie said so.
Dear Ms. V,
So, um... in Thousand Arms, do you ever do more than just --date-- any of these reeeeealllyyy fine looking chicks? I mean, if Meis is such a stud, does he ever go any farther than just, "Oh, here Sodina, this is our 938245348th date. Here's a ribbon for your hair..." *gag* Let's get real.... So do you know??? =)

Pervert!!! Watch where you put those Thousand Arms!!

^_^ Who knows... maybe there are actually some *battles* in the game. (Pah!) You might have to look hard, though.

I initially was very excited about Thousand Arms because of the heavy animé influence and above average voice acting I saw in the first 5 minutes. However, that wasn't enough to make up for the silly way the game portrays girls. Yes, I know it is not meant to be taken seriously, and I admit that some of the hokey lines made me laugh, but the attitude gets old *very* quickly. As for the dating... well... I seriously hope that not all guys act like the way the main character does on a date. *shudder*

*Way* too much free time...
Here is a screwed up RPG poem.

The Many Flavors of Pokemon

First we start with Bulbasaur, Ivysaur, and Venusaur
taste great if you cook them like a smore.
Next we go to Charizard, Charmeleon, and Charmander
They taste a little blander.
On to Blastoise, Wartortle, and Squirtle
Make him into soup like a turtle.
What to do with Butterfree, Metapod, and Caterpie
Good seasoning is the key.
Weedle, Kakuna, and Beedrill is a treat
But a little hard to eat.
A Pidgey, Pidgetto, and Pidgeot are finger-licking
Fry them up like chicken.
With Rattata or Raticate you could sell the pelt
Or cook him and make rat tail melt.
Fearow and Spearow
Aren‚t that great and that is so.
Ekans and Arbok are hard to chew
His venow will make you spew.
Pikachu and Raichu are the best by far
Serve them with a cocktail at a bar.
Sandshrew‚s and Sandslash‚s flesh is hard
Inside they are nothing but lard.
The Nidorans have many a spike
Making them hard to like
With Clefairy, Clefable, Jigglypuff and Wigglytuff
Are mainly just a bunch a soft stuff.
At Vulpix and Ninetales we won‚t stop
Make their tails into a lollypop.
How to cook Zubat and Golbat
Add some grease and a little spat.
Vileplume, Gloom, and Oddish
Make quite a dish.
Parasect and Paras are quite sweet
Their mushrooms are hard to beat.
Venonat and Venomoth don‚t put up at fight
All you do is get them near a light.
When cooking a Dugtrio and Diglett
Stuff them like a piglett.
If you eat Meowth and Persian
Make sure they are done.
Psyduck and Golduck are easy to cook
Look up how to cook duck in a book.
Mankey and Primeape
Taste a little like a grape.
Growlithe and Arcanine
Are simply divine.
Poliwag, Poliwrath, and Poliwhirl
Will make you hurl.
Abra, Kadabra, Alakazam
Taste great with a little spam.
Machamp, Machop, and Machoke
Will make you do exactly that, choke.
Bellsprout, Weepingbell, and Victreebel
Have a rather pleasant smell.
Tentacool and Tentacruel
Are about as good a rice and gruel.
Don‚t attempt to eat Geodude, Graveler, and Golem
They are too hard so don‚t be dumb.
Put on your child‚s plate a Ponyta and Rapidash
They will be gone in a flash.
Slowpoke and Slowbro
To the bathroom they will make you go.
Magnemite and Magneton
Taste great on a seasoned bun.
Will make you wretch.
Dodou and Dodrio
Are great unless they have BO.
Dewgong and Seel
Make quite a meal.
Grimer and Muk
One word „YUKš!
Shellder and Cloyster
Are cooked just like an oyster.
Gastly, Haunter, and Gengar
Taste and feel like tar.
When eating an Onix
Be sure not to bite and only lick
Before baking Drowzee and Hypno
Roll them in flour and dough.
Krabby and Kingler are like a crab
Get a knife to pry open and stab.
Voltorb and Electrode
Will keep you sitting on the commode.
Exeggute and Exeggutor
Will make your tastebuds happily soar.
Cubone and Marowak
Make a nice snack.
Himonchan and Hitmonlee
Can be savored with a little hot tea.
The best part of Lickitung
Is none other than the tongue.
If Weezing and Koffing are taste
Then a part of your life has gone to waste.
Rhyhorn and Rhydon
The taste is dull and will make you yawn.
Some rarities to suite your fancy
Are Tangela, Kangaskhan, Horsea, Seadra, and Chansey.
Goldeen, Seaking, Staryu, and Starmie
Are something on a plate you will always see.
Scyther, Jynx, Electrabuzz, Magmar, Pinsir, Tauros, and Mr.Mime
Are tastes that you will enjoy in time.
Magikarp, Gyrados, And Lapras are salt-water sweets
Dishes like these you will want to meet.
Ditto is in a class of its own being
It tastes like a raw soy bean.
Eevee, Vaporeon, Jolteon, and Flareon are the best of the best
They put your sense of taste to the test.
Porygon is cybernetic Pokemon
So its taste is all wrong.
Exstinct Pokemon such as Aerodactyl, Omanyte, Omastar, Kabuto, and Kabutops
Might have tasted like pork chops.
Snorlax is fat
I‚m not going to try him and that is that.
The birds of legend, Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres, are divine
To taste them, all I pine.
Dratini, Dragonair, and Dragonite
Haha you want to know how they taste? Try to take a bite.
Mewtwo and Mew
Cannot be sampled because they are too cool.

Got to taste them all


Uuuhm..... O.O

Invisible Man, Invisible Man... Chevy Chase is an Invisible Man

Hey, I am stuck on disc four of Final Fantasy 8 for one simple little reason... I can't find the "hidden" door that leads to where you can get the Ragnarok! This is really frustrating. I read the FAQ by Scott Ong and all it says is "the door is to the right of the chain," but I've been all the way up and down the right side of that chain pressing the O button (my confirm button) and I haven't found anything. I know I'm not looking in the right place, but I'm stuck. Can you help me out? Thanks.


From what I know (that means research. I'm not this far into the game) there is no door to the "right" of the chain. (That's the cancel button, anyway.) To the left of the chain outside of the castle there are three portal that will take you to different parts of the world. The one at the lowest part of the screen takes you to Galbadia, around the destroyed missle base. The middle portal takes you to the Serengetti Plains, around the Centra Ruins. The highest portal takes you Esthar around the area of the Grandidi Forest. I'd reccomend going through the middle portal... but you'll have to figure out why on your own. :)

If you're still having trouble leaping onto the ledge with the portals, just keep trying. Not being able to find certain jump locations happened to me while I was climbing up to save Rinoa at the end of disc one.

You know, children, if you rearrange the letters in the name Edea, you get aEde
Hey Maca-Ronnie!
Is it just me, or is Edea in the worst possible place in the Final Fantasy 8 print ad? I mean, come on, it looks like someone cut her in half, took out the middle and sewed her back again. This does not really give her the imposing image I think of when I think of Edea.
-Azo, The Chunky Monkey

...just what do you think about when you think of Edea, you Maca-Monkey?!

Good riddance to General Protection Fault prone rubbish!
The new people at #square are morons. I'm banned for no reason at all. I'll just go back to my cushy life in my mansion, with my Pentium5 9000 and '69 corvette.

This quickie brought to you by:
Bill Gates

Wait Mr. Gates! No one has shown you the raw beauty of the akill!


let us play a card game with ethiopia's rules and ours!

- Hall of Fame Announcer, Harry Carey.

And risk spreading the Random rule? I think not. :P

The whipcrack in Minimum Wage was preformed by Roger Moutenot.

That information is about as useful as a ammunition-less gun in Alcatrez.

Why are the Muppets so darn sexy?

I don't know... that Swedish Chef can really ring my bell, though. ^_^

In response to yesterday's question, yes.
Which question, you ask?
Got me.

Oh, so you're George Michael's Swedish lover! Nice to meet you.

Good evening Lady Veronica
I wish to make my name known all over the web, do you have any advice for me?
- Balbane Beoulve, Heavenly Knight

Get a letter posted on a well-known, frequently-visited website.
Again and again I've taken too much... Of the things that cost you too much...

© 1998-2017 RPGamer All Rights Reserved
Privacy Policy