Ask Stom
Thursday Stomday Madness?!
Stom - December 9 '99- 3:00 Eastern Standard Time


Already, I've probably upset some of you for blatantly using one of Thor's old gimmicks. Don't worry, I'll probably rip off a few others in here, but he's an old friend, and I guarantee he'd laugh about it.. once he had his posse beat me up. I am Stom, your neighborhood friendly news reporter and all around bum. Some of you might be wondering about Googleshng. So are we, actually. Don't worry, the gender-less one is fine, and will be back. As for me, all you need to know is I'm a junior Journalism major, a Capricorn, and you can call me Sexysocks.

Well, right now I can't really think of anything cute to say, so I'll just go straight to the questions. Please enjoy the few lines of blank space between this statement and the first question, because that's as quiet as I'll ever get. =D

7-10 Split

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In the PSX:
I think..
In the DC:
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Maybe next year..
In the PC:
Septerra Core
If I don't beat it soon, the boss will kill me.
Judaism Fantasy 8?
Good luck Doug,
I hope for your sake it's not a tough day in the office if you have to deal with THIS question-asking crowd. Anyway, I have a question. Am I the only one in this world who sees/cares about all the references to Judaism in Square games? I'll list a few for the sake of argument (and if the editorials ever get updated, there'll be a whoppin' Xenogears one.)
"I am the first, and I am the last" Isaiah 44.6 and 48.12. Cain is a biblical name, and the tower of Babel is from Genesis... Kislev, Av (Aveh), and Nisan are all names of months in Hebrew (months in the Jewish calendar). Merkava is Hebrew for chariot, and it refers to a type of Jewish mysticism. The symbol on the Merkava in Xenogears is the 10 Sefirot (Holy aspects of God). Sefirot is related to Sefer Sefirot (Safer Sephiroth anyone?) Then we have FF8 with "Abadon" in it, which is from the Bible, Job 28.22.
I believe it all started with Phantasy Star, with "Megido" magic. The Hebrew Bible states that the battle signaling the apocalypse will be fought at Megido (a town in Israel). Anyway, the point is, every time I mention all these things, people just shrug and move on. I mean, they don't even use that many references to Norse mythology in their games! What's the deal here? Please please answer, otherwise I'll tear out my hair -- and nobody likes taking finals bald.

-Hoenir "Ichiban Goyim" Aesir

Well, let me first say that this is a welcome time as I've been busy with finals, but as of today they are over. Woo hoo! Now, as for the Judaism, it really doesn't surprise me that most fans shrug off the references between the games and Judaism since such references have been in games since the beginning, just like the Mythological references. It is nice, however, to see someone who not only appreciates them, but recognizes their exact source. Perhaps now when us hardcore RPG fans see these names, we'll remember where the designers got them. As for editorials, I'm sure J.D. will have the new ones up soon.. although that could mean before the end of the year with him.

Contrail, part Ni
Dear Stom,

Yesterday I sent in a letter which got on..yes, it's me..the person who said Wild Arms is the greatest game of all time. First of all, Miyu is a pimp and has been shove over to pimp-heck, Second of all, Legend of Legaia is great but don't get over-excited and finally to my point... Wild Arms is the best RPG of all time. I'm not joking. It is certaintly beter than that dopey Saga Frontier which i gave away for a copy of Diablo and Cyber Sled. FF8 glitches too frequently for me, FF7 is too boing to face off again with those Cloud "thinking" sequences, but Wild Arms is enjoyable over and over. Plenty of magic, fast draws, and ARMs..great music..two thumbs up to Zed's Theme. Hanpan is the greatest RPG character of all time. Hanpan the funny witty blue mouse who helps you out in the game. And most earlier games pale when compared. Parasite Eve was too short and had only ...well.....Aya. So I say again..does RPGamer still think a game with great music, great characters, great attacks, and other assorted wonders..stinks? I think not..and while you're at it....Squaresoft is doomed to failure in my opinion

The very very very very very very very very very very very, VERY angry Mr. Mysterio

I couldn't resist tackling the follow-up letter of yesterday's Square or Contrail question, mainly because there is a huge issue when comparing the two companies. Contrail has two notable RPGs to their name, while Square has countless RPGs on their track record. Square, along with Enix, pretty much invented the formula that almost all RPGs have used in some form or other since the beginning of console RPGs themselves. By the way, I wish you wouldn't refer to Parasite Eve as "an earlier game." That makes Stom feel old. I don't even consider Final Fantasy II U.S. an old game. It was made in the ninties. Oh, and one last thing.. "But I 'm also an avid Square fan, too." Sound familiar? I wouldn't say they're doomed to failure when the guys arguing against them are still buying their games. Sorry to burst your bubble. Oh, and I did like Wild ARMs, but not Legend of Legaia. When it comes to games, there are no "greatest" or "worst." You think Wild ARMs is the best RPG of all time, while I still say Final Fantasy 6 is my favorite RPG of all time. Meanwhile I have friends who say neither should have been made. It's simply a matter of opinion, and your opinion just doesn't.. nahh, I won't go there.

The Mysteries of Goog
Hey Doug,

I asked Miyuski yesterday about what Google is, but he wouldn't tell me. If you give us (all of us at rpgamer want to know) the answer about if Google is a male or female, all of us who read this I'm sure will poste a message and praise you as the best person who works at rpgamer. By the way, this is not bribery.

----doodledoo (and everyone else who wants to know)

Ok, I will answer this as straight as I do everything else. Yes, Googleshng is a male or female. You heard it here first! Let the world know that Goog is definitely male or female. I can't reveal which, though. It's Goog's gimmick. That's how Goog got the job, and we can't take that away from.. it.. (Also, we have no idea..)

The Poll-Master Knows..
The latest weekly poll on RPGamer is "would you buy a subtitled RPG?"...and that confuses me. Isn't all the speech in RPGs in subtitles? I've yet to play a game that's run by voice-overs or anything else (maybe PS2, huh?). So what does the poll mean? Did I miss something?


I wouldn't have ordinarily printed something like this, but I had more than one e-mail ask me about it. I tried to ask the almighty poll-master, but he was busy "coding something." Figures, he'd be doing real work. :P I believe what he means is would you buy an RPG that had Japanese voice with English sub-text, although if I'm wrong, I'll be berated in tomorrow's column and the actual meaning will be posted.

I'll buy that for a Dollar.. or Twenty!

One of my friends has Secret of Mana. I've been wanting to buy that for a looooong time, but I could never find it. Today I offered to buy it from him for twenty bucks. He said OK. When I got home, my brother said that was too much. He said it was only worth around ten dollars. This is one of my favorite games in the world. Do you think twenty dollars is too much????


Most Super Nintendo games can be found for ten to twenty dollars, but it is also very common to see certain Squaresoft games go for much more than that on such places as ebay. Now, I'm sure that if you looked hard enough, and long enough, you could most likely find Secret of Mana for less than twenty bucks, but if it's your favorite game, and it's a friend selling it (meaning that hopefully your friend isn't selling you a broken game) then I say go for it. It sounds pretty convenient to me. If the almighty dollar can make you more patient though, go ahead and try to find a cheaper copy, although with Secret of Mana, it might take you awhile.

Fun with Household Appliances
S'up Stom!
Stom, Stom, Stom! (Everybody!)
I-know-something-you-don't-know! I-know-something-you-don't-know!
Frum Milk Lunch-Box, Supreme God of Role Playing Games and All That is Good or Involves Fruit Loops. (Or just God for short.)

P.S. Give back Googleshng! I know YOU ate him, Stom!

Y'know, fruit loops was exactly what I was thinking while reading this.. Also, don't jump to conclusions on the "him" thing. Googleshng transcends gender! I, however, do not. I'm a guy, almost 21, and I've got one thing to say.. Hello ladies! The big Stomboski is at your service!

Huh huh huh.. he said "high"
yo Stom,

What's your high score on Tetris?

DJ "The doll's trying to kill me & the toaster's been laughing at me" Johnson

Well, off the top of my head, I couldn't tell you about my high scores, although I know that my copy of Tetris DX has a few still in it, but that is temporarily lost in the abyss that is my messy apartment. As for my all time high in lines, that I know, at least for Tetris DX, and that would be 402. One thing you must realize, of course, is that every single version of tetris has it's own speeds and it's own way of making things harder as you go up in levels. Tetris DX never gets as fast as the original Game Boy Tetris, from what I've seen. In the original, getting beyond 200 lines is incredibly difficult. I've seen it done once.. and I've come close myself with 193, but no one really keeps track of such things these days. =P


Have you ever looked in a potato? -Matt

Have you ever looked out a potato? Wait, don't answer that, I have a feeling I know the answer..

Help!! I have no face!!

I thought you were just happy to see me..

Armor won't help the heart stay sharp!
-Shellbust Stab

Quoting Final Fantasy Tactics.. someone after my own heart. No, wait! Stay away from my heart, you fiend! You can't stab MY heart! Bad!

Hey Doug, I'm scared! Some weird bald guy with a white cat is standing in front of my house! What should I do?

A James Bond wannabe

Oops, I'll leave. I mistook your house for a Starbucks..

Doug, I'm challenging you to a Hardcore match in my backyard. If you got the guts that is!


Hardcore match? You mean you want to go ONE on ONE with GREAT ONE? I'll tell you what to do with your hardcore match. You take it, you take some jabronie like Steve Borden or Dwayne Johnson, and you put them in that backyard. Then, you take that backyard, roll it up, turn it sideways and STICK IT STRAIGHT IN THE CANDY JAR! (Nothing's more hardcore than a candy jar)

I wanna be the RPGamer columnist! C'MON MAN! PUT IN THE GOOD WORD! *sob*
-- brenden "Ni!" minso

It's easy. Just enter our new contest: "Who wants to be an RPGamer columnist?" The criteria are simple. Just go on "Who wants to be a Millionaire," win, and donate the money to the humble staff of RPGamer. Actually, we don't even care about the show. Just donate the money, and you're a shoe-in.

I farted. -Ragnarok

At least now I know who to blame for this column stinking..

Closing Commentary on Topics Not Necessarily Relevant to Today's Column:

Well, after checking the grammar on about half of Thor's old columns for him, I feel confident that my first RPGuru Q&A column is.. probably at least close to being grammatically correct. Not sure I can get more than that, but I can try. As for the wherabouts of Googleshng, well, the mysterious one will show up before you know it, but as for tomorrow, the duties of temporary Q&A shall fall upon.. (drumroll).. myself AND miyu. Beware the wrath of the newsboys.

Oh, and I must apologize about the game quote. I will make sure whomever got the correct answer first gets their reward. Unfortunately, someone played a mean trick on us and casted Life and Float on all the monkeys. As soon as we can catch and kill one, you'll get it. (In other words, I didn't know the answer, and couldn't find who did. Go me.)

Well, then. There it is.

Doug "Stom" Hill
If ya SMELLLLLLLL.. what Stom.. is cooking..

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