The Oracle
Back in your face, The Big O!
The Oracle, Brad Lohr - December '99- 00:00 PST


So, like, what's up? Been a while, no? Didn't think you'd ever hear back from me, huh? Didn't know, myself. Thought I might catch a column or two just pickin' up for those slackers other Q&A'ers.. but I didn't ever really think I'd be back on the regular lineup. But I'm not complaining yet. Er.. well, weekends. Maybe I won't be so sleep deprived. Maybe I will be. We'll see, no? Anyhow, moving on to more important issues...

"So Brad, what have you been up to for these last couple months?" Why, how kind of you to ask. :) Actually, it's been a cool couple months. A nice vacation, as it were. As one might be able to gleam from my exiting thank you's, I have been dating Hunter Wilcox er, Heather, since near the time I stopped doing the column. We've been having fun, doin' stuff.. went off to Monterey.. and I got the most endearing picture of my darling.

Shaking hands with a monkey.

... my two loves in this world.. united in one picture! .. brings.. tears.. *sniff*.. oh god, (happysigh) I love life again. I still have yet to cut the pic down to a normal size, but it'll make an embarassing debut on the column shortly, you need worry not.

Anyhow, other than Heather, I've been doing a lot of the same. Lots of school, lots of other people's homework er, database programming (my third true love, I only have like 27..) ... uhm, let's see.. apartment hunting, (yes, if your parents or you can hook me up with cheap housing in San Luis Obispo, you can guest host the column.. :]) .. let's see.. sleeping, .. yes, I said SLEEPING. It was fun, while it lasted. I've also taken up knitting. Okay, not really. I've just always had this real perverse desire to say that. >:D

Now for my plugs and general "go here and do something" section which appears about every time the TOF Project puts out a new issue.. er...

TOF Project Issue 2, December '99. Yo.

Also on the "go here and do this" front, well, Heather has entered a contest. And being that winning makes her happy, and her being happy makes for better columns, and we all know how much better this column is than one in which I HATE YOU ALL OR SOMETHING... er.. that is, we want Heather to win. <jedimindtrick> You want Heather to win, Steve. oh.. er, Your name is Steve... and Steve wants Heather to win... STEVE.. CLICK THE LINK STEVE. </jedimindtrick> .. yes.. here is the link of great clicking:

After Y2k Lookalike Contest.

Now allow me to explain. You click there, you are presented with an aggregate variety of choices. You choose one person from each little category.. (yes, you're right, you look much more like The Geek than those other people...) and then you hit "Vote" down at the bottom. Now in the interest of all fairness, I'm not saying you HAVE to vote for Heather, because, well, you don't. But her winning is good. Remember that. 'sides, she's the best looking girl on the whole page. She's "Dawn 1". Yes, after you pick your jaw off the ground, (don't worry, still happens to me when I see the pic, and, hell, I took it), you hit the 'submit' button, and then go see the statistical results of the collection of happy RPGamers making a positive impact on one girl's life.. the sun is shining, the birds are chirping.. things are good. Life is happy. Now guess what. You can vote every hour. Anyone who votes hourly for her for more than 10 hours, send me an email. NO LYING. Lying is bad. If she wins, I'll treat you all to something. I don't know what. I'll let you all choose. We'll have a vote. Prove to the world that the RPGamer forces can sway the evil oppression of non-video game playing people.. or something. Then go buy pokémon cards and burn them in front of a set of tied up 8 year olds and hear them wail.

Then laugh. 'cause it's funny, yo.

Oh wait, I have to answer questions too, huh. :)

Got Questions? Problems?

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Brad Now Playing:
Vandal Hearts 2
Yeah, yeah, I'm just one of many.
In Brad's Head
Hey.. who's that kid with the Oreo Cookie?
Riki, take that printer cable out of your butt...
"I'm Riki, I'm a print server, I'm a print server!"
No, actually, you don't want to know.
Oh whee, I found out I have english next semester.. ugh, ugh, ugh... I mean, my Spanish is bad enough..
"Hey. Would you like to buy a monkey?"
David Letterman rules. If I watched TV, I'd watch David Letterman.
And I would not watch Ally McBeal, no matter how much Kevin does. Ally McBeal sucks. :P to you, Kev.
Dear God.. first letter on the back, and it's this...?
Okay, I understand the concern many people have about anime not being really RPG related (despite Goog's points yesterday), but I don't think the topic came up because of RPGs anyways.. it came up because the people who like RPGs generally like anime too (not to make *too* broad of a stereotype or anything ^_^ ) Anyways, go ahead, prove me wrong! Have whoever's doing polls now (with the staff at RPGamer, who knows anymore!) run something along the lines of "Do you, as an RPGamer, like anime?".. or better yet, "How _much_ do you like anime?".. Heck, just ask if people want anime in the column or not! You have the power, use it!

Ham On Rye

All I've got to say is, you're probably right. A lot of people who like RPGs like Anime. I'm not one of these people. Maybe I'd like Anime if I'd been introduced to it earlier in life. Maybe I'd like it if I saw more of it. Regardless, we'll probably not find out, and I'm not really much of an anime fan, nor will I ever be, in my best estimation. I think it's great for those people who like it, but well, it just doesn't work for me. Do a little dance.. make a little sub... do it tonight. Yeah.

Now this is more my style, bitching about Amano...yay!
Hi diddley hey there Braderino.

Why is it that almost every time I visit this wonderful Q&A section, someone is raving about that Amano artwork. What's the deal? Am I the only sane person who realizes that it's garbage? It doesn't look even remotely good. Most of the time, it hardly even looks like the characters he's trying to draw. I've seen quickly drawn charicatures that look like they took more time and effort and skill to draw. That stuff is at a 7th grade level art class at best. Why do people like it so much?

"Life is like a mop."

--The Geek

You are so right.. life is like a mop. Oh yeah, the Amano thing. I agree with you up to the point where you start really dogging it. I don't particularly like it myself, but I'm not totally in agreement with the whole 7th grade stuff. He can still draw better than I could ever hope... I think he's a good artist, I just don't really like his style. I can understand why other people do, but well, that whole eating disorder pastyface thing just doesn't do it for me. C'est la vie, et la vie est viande.

Oh golly gee Princess Mononucleosis questions..
*** Princess Monochrome Spoilers .. maybe. ***
Okay, I HAD to ask someone this, and, well, you're here right now, so I'll ask you. In Princess Mononoke, was San (sp?) Princess Mononoke? My brother doesn't believe me when I say she was... Plus, with the translation that was given the other day ( as in her name would be Princess of the Beasts), it would make sense. Right?
Or do I now have to go apologize to my brother?

Tialla "My hand! It's healed!**crack**Oh, maybe not..." Rian

Big Brothers are always right. So if he's older than you, go apologize anyway. But the answer to your question, (thanks, Jasc-o-rama..) is yes, San is Princess Monotone. There ya go. Bet he was your little brother anyway... they never know what they're talking about. I know, 'cause I'm an older brother. :)

YESSSSSSS!!!!!!!! Brad this is so cool that you're back we missed the army of arctic monkeys (from the south pole as I recall). You really are the best Q/A person (/suckup) Well have a nice holiday, on Saturday I'm celebrating Christmas so hopefully dreamcast for me!


Well, I tell ya. Glad to be back. I'm actually already kinda running low on material, so you got lucky and got printed. Not that I don't like getting this sort of thing. :) I love hearin' from you guys. But I am going to need some real stuff to work with come tomorrow. So, like.. ask questions. And bag those toenails, OH MY GOD.. er.. </valleygirl> haha, i'm going to make you guys start wondering about MY gender too, aren't I..

One of my favorite subjects.. Suikoden 2
Oh great and holy Brad! At your return, millions of cherubim and seraphim sing their praises to the heavens!

Heh. In all of my travels, and in all of my years... that's the biggest suckup in the history. Congrats, and thanks. :)

Anyways, as you're the leading Suikoden expert around here, I just wanted to ask you a few questions:

Leading? Leading? One and only, bay-bee.. or something. Okay, probably not, I still haven't had a chance to get back through Suikoden 2 and get everyone. Wah. :)

1. In Suikoden, who is your favorite character? Favorite team?

In the first one, Clive all the way. Come on, he's got a bazooka.. can't go wrong there. I threw him in, the hero, of course, and er.. well, depending on the situation, I'd have various other people in my party.. I liked Viktor and Flik, they were just fun. Krin was cool, but not someone you wanted in a boss battle. hee hee. Sarah's knife actually ended up doing some damage, which was cool... let's see.. er.. I kinda liked having all three of the martial arts people in my party, then throwing Ronnie Bell in there too, so that Pahn would have several choices on combo attacks. Very groovy. Lots of fun combos in that game.

2. In Suikoden 2, who is your favorite character? Favorite team?

Sci-Fi Wakaba! Well, maybe there'd be someone else, but I haven't gotten everyone in it yet.. soooo.. I'd love to see Clive. Georg was really cool because he really whipped cream, if you know what I'm saying.

3. Did you prefer Suikoden or Suikoden 2's war style?

I'd probably have preferred 2's style more if you'd actually gotten to finish a couple battles, and they didn't interrupt them so often. Just a few normal ones would really have made it a LOT better. In the light of what's really there, I had more fun in 1's battle system. Less hassle, and it just seemed to bring enough different play to the game without requiring you to learn a whole new system, that frankly didn't go so hot with me.

4. Would you like a Suikoden 3 to come out? Do you know if Konami is planning one?

Konami has made no formal announcement on plans for Suikoden 3 at this time, unless I'm missing out on the news end of things, (which wouldn't be TOO surprising, really..) but I wouldn't be surprised if they tried it. They might not, that really wouldn't be surprising either. I'd love for them to do it. I don't mind them not trying to upscale the graphics to go knows what.. I like the old feel, and I love getting a billion characters. It's just damn fun. More Konami RPGs are a good thing.

Thank you for answering my questions!

Oh, and thank you for asking them, heh heh heh... now back to the monkeys for you!


Just as I was thinking, "Wow, gettin' close to time to hit the sack" ...
Ok, I'm betting everybody else is saying the typical "Dude! You're back! Wheeeeeeeee!" and "I've missed you! Here, take my firstborn son!", so I decided to do something different in your return. A haiku:

King of world is Brad. Google and miyu bit me. U @/\/\ b3 3|_337!

Hyet... you may now return to eating soap.

~The Sack~

Heh, I write haiku too. I wrote one in perl. I am such a perlbitch... "I'm gonna be a perlbitch, bay-baaayeee!" </kidrock> .. and yes, I got a lot of "Welcome Back" emails, but I'm not sad about that. :) I did not receive any firstborn sons, however. Which kinda sucks.. I was a bit hungry earlier..

Heh, that soap comment makes me think of Fight Club. Great movie. Go see it, if you're old enough to get in. I dug it.

Comment Title
Hail, almighty huffer of volcanic gasses which make you speak in tongues!

I have a question for you (obviously). You see, I've been playing Suikoden 2 for a while now, and I've noticed a few possible glitches. Y'see, half of the large-scale battles don't have any music, and the music that plays over the ones that do sounds like it gets cut off at the end. Also, Annallee, that cute little troubadour, seemed to have developed a bout of laryngitis during my game. It's a shame, because she had just offered to pleasure me with a song. I of course took pity on the girl and let her into my castle, but I'm concerned as to whether or not I was supposed to hear her sweet voice instead of a minute or two of deafening silence... Is my CD defective, or are there more sinister music-hating forces at work?

Until Stallion stops "bumping up against" that sheep,


I can't remember distinctly about the large battles, I may have had one or two problems with music in such, but I can distinctly remember Annalee not singing a darn note, but instead, just standing there, half-stupidfied, while I was struggling just to stay awake at the time.. I don't know, has anyone else had problems with this? .. and that's not a sheep, dude, that's SENTIENT OATMEAL!

Hakuna Koudelka

On yesterday's column, Goog was talking abiut an upcoming Horror RPG called Koudelka. Is there any more information about this game? A Lovecraftian RPG just sounds too cool to miss. Thanks!

yasuki dguy

Well, there's information on Koudelka here, if you like. And if that's not good enough for you, well, then.. uh, try asking a more specific question next time! Oh yeah, I should be a tech support representative.. I've got the style down!

Return of Brad's Quickies

It has come to my attention that Miyu changed the first sentence of yesterday's column behind my back from my original "Miyuski's reign of terror has ended." to "Miyuski's wonderful stay has ended." What a sick thing to do. I love it!

Heh, heh, heh, that's what you get when you've got too many Q&A'ers, and not enough days per week.

Yipee! Brad, you're back. You're really cute, you know?

I was not previously aware... it's amazing what you can find out in this Q&A columns! :)

Brad, Please don't leave us again, Goog is evil(more so than you were). She is trying to brainwash us into liking Anime. Please don't leave us with this animal one more day!
Adam ever nervous Simmons

Goog's not evil. She's doing the best he can. I don't know what he's up to all the time, but I'm sure she can take care of her own stuff. If you don't like how he's doing things, well, you'll pretty much have to deal with it. It's her show, now, and I'm not going to ruin his fun. And I'm not evil either, damnit.

<grumble> <grumble> 'n some bread too...

I can stay awake for weeks.. I did it earlier this year!

Hey Brad,
Can I have a hug?
Forever yours, The Fox

Er, I seem to be all out of hugs.. I think all I've got is a leftover copy of Veronica's fanclub newsletter... but it's yours if you want it..

Do you wear short shorts?

No sir, I don't like it.

I'm Bond, James Bond, and you are?
A James Bond wannabe

DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM???.. er.. that works in EB..

Brad, do you like Pancakes?

I'm more of an eggs and MEAT fan... bacon, ham.. it's all good. Don't like the sausage as much as I used to, however... oh well.

Words from the Wise One:

Heh, wow. Not too bad for the first day back. The weekends be rockin' now, you know it. I know it. You know it. I know it. Let's par-tee. I'm not going to talk too long here, I wrote a frickin' essay in the introduction. But I'll say this. A lot of you welcomed me back in style, and well, it's damn good to be back. It's good to be the king too, but the arctic monkeys are all on holiday break, and well.. I get lonely. Check ya'll out tomorrow.
Heh, Jedi Mind Tricking Vandal Hearts. THE ORACLE IS EVERYWHERE.
Now I didn't even know this would happen when I named him that.. I think I laughed for a good 10 minutes.

Brad "Oh, damn.. go get me a towel." Lohr

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