The Oracle
OH MY GOD, I'M ...
The Oracle, Brad Lohr - November '99- 01:00 PST

Leaving. This is it. Wow. Crazy. It may not be the very last of the Q&A columns I do, but it is the column that will signal the end of me being the Q&A guy, and move me into the hallowed halls of Q&A guys of the past.. to the hall of fame.. to sit and watch, and see younger, less sleep deprived kids take their shot at entertaining thousands of you per day. I will sit proudly next to such greats as Andrew Kaufmann, Thor, JD, and of course, my personal hero, Alex Kimbel. The response has been overwhelming from you guys. I've gotten a huge number of honestly touching responses about your memories, and about how much you enjoyed my time here. I want to thank all of you who wrote, and well, I've got a rather large column today.. even though there aren't many questions.. I'm printing a lot of what I received today, so you'll just have to bear with me. If you don't like it, tough. Not my problem anymore, is it? :D Know that the column is going to be left in capable hands and that you will of course, see me again.

When my army of arctic monkeys and I take over the world.

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Er.. that's not true!
I think I'm going to miss not doing the column... oh well, I'll sleep it off
Hunter Speaks!
<ogre battle> Liberation! *cheer* </ogre battle>


Heh, the great Hunter speaks... all shall listen... though I don't know if he's celebrating being free of me, or my own freedom from doing this late at night every night...

Sack of dead monkeys!
Did I ever tell you my last name means "Sack of Beans" in German? I guess my ancestors were on ancient crack or something.

~The Sack~

PS Oh, and you made me wet myself when I found out you were going to stop doing Q&A. I'm gonna miss you man...and my underwear as it washes.

Yikes. Okay, this scares me just a little bit, but I guess not enough.

#1 Fan!
Hey, Brad,

Well, I have to say, I'm surprised you're leaving already, but that's only because I didn't really think about the working forty hours + school thing. So, just let me say that I think I speak for lots of people when I say I really liked your column. Personally, I think there should have been _more_ monkey jokes, but you can't win 'em all... Kudos on spending so much time on the whole thing. It paid off. Are you still going to do that other website? I must shamefully admit I haven't checked it out yet, but now I have a much better reasonm, don't I? Well, this is way too serious for my liking, so I better wrap it up. So how about it? Print a last letter from your #1 fan? :)

Happy trails,


I just have to say thanks, Ben, you've been with me since editorials, and it's been a long road. As for more monkey jokes.. .. *giggle*.. he said monkey! Okay, you probably don't get that one.. :D As for your question... Yes, I will be working at both RPGamer (in the newmedia section, and also on The TOF Project. If, like Ben, you have not been there.. then you are a naughty monkey.

Dear Brad--

You've never printed any letters from me! ...Granted, I only wrote two or three times to you, but still, I'm more special than the rest! I've got severe psychological problems that I try to fix with drugs! I have four women who have nothing better to do but follow me around all the time! So seeing as this will be your last column, I give you one last chance: print this or I'll enlarge the ozone hole! The ice will melt and you'll drown! Mwahahaha!

Seriously, though, I really liked the job you did with the column while it you'd better have found someone damn good to replace you or we'll all be mad! We'll force you to come back and write columns and not get any sleep for a long time! Uh...any word on Thor recently?

~Commander Kahran Ramsus

Well, you got your letter printed.. hope you're just DARN happy, or something.

The Family
How could you leave us to the manipulations of the cruel world? Where will we be without the wise Oracle asking for help to answer all the questions? Wah!!!! Aren't you going to miss all the sleepless nights, the endless FF8 questions, the incoherent ramblings of people such as myself? Oh. I see.

Seriously, though, it's been great readin' the column. You helped to stave off my insanity from not having FF8, and also found a way to talk about monkeys all the time for no apparent reason. That's a rare combination in today's working world, and we all appreciate it. Don't let the admin job get to your head and become evil and corrupt.... well, okay, DO become evil and corrupt, but use it for our benefit. Thanks for all the entertainment!


TONY!.. what's up! And you too, Tony! .. go say hi to Steve, Tony. No, not you, Tony.. just Tony and Steve. Thanks for the good words, and well, if I'm ever the right hand mand of the Master of Evil.. we'll see what we can't work up for ya'll.

Suikoden2 and stuff
Hey Oracle,

Here are some questions. They have question marks at the end of them, ya know..?

Yeah. I know.

1)How long did it take you to beat Suikoden 2?

About 30-40 hours.

2)I remember this certain staircase in Suikoden that was always inaccesible. And I found another one in 2, how can you get past that person?

As I hear, there's a random chance that Viki will beam you up on top of that staircase.. though I've never had her mess up the teleporting..

3)I just started Thousand Arms. I like the battle system, but it seems kinda awkward...what's your take on it?

Haven't gotten that far yet.. (shrug)

4)Is Veronica going to do the column just on weekends now..and is that familiar face you mentioned..Thor???

Yes, Veronica will continue doing weekends. As for the rest, you never know.

Well, thanks for your time.

-Nigel Friends don't let friends drive Chevys.

Hahahha... oh dear, there's some bad mojo down the line for me for just laughing at this line... Heather drives a Chevy.. haha

One Last Plug
One last question for you...

Is Grandia worth getting? I can only afford one more RPG before X-Mas, so I want to know if that one is worth, thanks.


Well, according to JD's review, this is the game to buy. So go get it. Or just read the review. :)

Dear Brad,

I am sorry to hear you will no longer be doing letters at RPGamer. I commend you for sticking it out as long as you did despite lack of sleep and all your other problems. It's been fun and I wish you a fond farewell.


Dude, the doctor said the Viagra would definitely solve my problem, and that I was no less a man for it... yeah! And.. oh, geez I'm just dropping that one now before it really takes a nose dive off the cliff of badness...

*watches Brad walk off into the sunset*

"Who was that masked Oracle?" "Dunno... but I think his name was Steve..."

Adios, man. You were the best thing to happen to the column since Thor. But I won't bear your children. Male pregnancy looked far too painful in "Junior". ^_^

- ChocoMog ZERO

Heh.. I'm the best thing to happen to butter since sliced... tuna.. or something. Thanks, man.. and I just found this entertaining. As for the male pregnancy, Hunter didn't mind.. of course, he was birthing puppies for weeks afterwards.. you'd be amazed at how many they can store up there! :o

Oh.. my hero!
L. Lingel of Cornell came up with this list.

1.aggry [OED:1:182; W2; W3]
2.ahungry [OED:1:194; FW; W2]
3.angry [OED; FW; W2; W3]
4.anhungry [OED:1:332; W2]
5.begry [OED:1:770,767]
6.bewgry [OED:1:1160]
7.bowgry [OED:1:1160]
8.braggry [OED:1:1047]
9.conyngry [OED:2:956]
10.gry [OED:4/2:475; W2]
11.haegry [EDD (see "hagery")]
12.hangry [OED:1:329]
13.hogry [EDD (see "huggerie"); CSD]
14.hogrymogry [EDD (see "huggerie"); CSD (as "hogry-mogry")]
15.hongry [OED:5/1:459; EDD:3:282]
16.huggrymuggry [EDD (see "huggerie"); CSD (as "huggry-muggry")]
17.hungry [OED; FW; W2; W3]
18.iggry [OED]
19.kaingry [EDD (see "caingy")]
20.magry [OED:6/2:36, 6/2:247-48]
21.malgry [OED:6/2:247]
22.maugry [OED:6/2:247-48]
23.mawgry [OED:6/2:247]
24.meagry [OED:6/2:267]
25.menagry [OED (see "managery")]
26.messagry [OED]
27.nangry [OED]
28.overangry [RH1; RH2]
29.podagry [OED; W2 (below the line)]
30.pottingry [OED:7/2:1195; Jamieson:3:532]
31.puggry [OED:8/1:1573; FW; W2]
32.pugry [OED:8/1:1574]
33.rungry [EDD:5:188]
34.scavengry [OED (in 1715 quote under "scavengery")]
35.shiggry [EDD]
36.skugry [OED:9/2:156, 9/1:297; Jamieson:4:266]
37.toggry [Simmonds (as "Toggry", but all entries are capitalized)]
38.ulgry [Partridge; Smith:24-25]
39.unangry [OED; W2]
40.vergry [OED:12/1:123]


Jesse Jackson

Why thank you, jesse Jackson.. and .. oh my. I like that list. That's so .. old english and stuff.

Oh, hey...
Aw, it's sad that you're leaving. You'll probably be replaced by someone that really sucks, unless Thor's comming back! Anyway, you did a pretty good job. Good luck over on that new page of yours and in New Media. We'll all be treating your replacement like dirt!

- Googleshng

Heh.. man.. well, the next guy is competent.. well, fine.. he was the guy changing the toilet paper at the RPGamer headquarters.
.. but well, someone's got to do the job.

Government jobs for everyone!
Mighty Oracle who leaveth, Sorry to see you go man, it was a lot of fun (even if I didn't get any of my letters posted here). I'm just glad you recommended Vandal Hearts. I went out and bought the game on your personal recommendation and I love it! It reminds me of Shining Force.


ps-You're not really leaving so you can invade the world with your arctic monkey's are you? You'll give us fans cushy government jobs with lots of benefits, right?

Vandal Hearts ruled. And about the gov jobs.. well, sure. If you don't mind your boss being.. AN ARCTIC MONKEY.

O Great Oracle:

'Tis a sad thing, hearing of your moving on. I actually liked your brand of humor and sarchasm, the likes of which I haven't seen in the Q&A column since Thor was still there. Speaking of Thor, I was he coming back? If so, when? Me being a true follower of the Blarg, I don't really want to have to suffer through yet another dry, humorless orangutang(or whoever you put in charge) whilst waiting for Thor's triumphant return.

Although I can't say much more than that, I wish you well wherever you may walk. I seriously hope that your replacement will be as funny, sarchastic, and witty as you or Thor. Adieu, Brad Lohr, Adieu....

-Andrew "Steve! NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mike

I'd have to say that I feel that the person who will be doing the Q&A column on Monday has a sense of humor that matches Thor and my own fairly closely. :) Take it how you will.

*thwa-- Wait, that's not right...
Brad, the Oracle who is not Southern, Lolita, etc, etc, etc,

Well, not really sure how to say this in a non-sentimental, mushy goo-goo way, but it's been kind of...what's the word.. fun (yes, FUN!) working with you these past 2 months. I'll tell you one thing: I've never worked with someone as... "interesting" as you in my experience. ^_^

Yeah, I know you'll still be hanging around with the crew in the *wee* hours of the morning slaving away at the Hell desk.. (oh, I mean New Media, ahem...) but it won't be quite the same without your terribly CGed pictures, very "interesting" ending quotes, and all around mayhem that you created so cleverly and spoon-fed to an audience of hundreds on a daily basis.

Best o' luck, and I'll remember to call you when I get another "Biology project".


Lots of love, (And darn, I know you're taken but how often do you get the opportunity to be a drama queen and use the word "love" in a farewell letter? ...don't answer that..I should know better not to ask in the first place.)


(P.S. - Substitute "interesting" with your favorite profanity. :D )

Hey, I get the opportunity to be a drama queen ALL THE T-- .. er.. HEY. Thanks, Veronica. You've done a great job, and I leave these turkeys guys in your hands. Don't thwap them too much, and well, when they ask for naked pictures of you, send them that neat picture I showed you.. you know, the one with the thing. Have a good time in your genetic lab, mutating squirrels into albino pigeons.. 'biology' indeed. And my favorite profanity is "        "Haha, you thought that that was hidden text!

Endies, and last comments..

So its your last coloumn and all I have to say is...The Oracle is really gonna like it ROCK THE CASBAH ROCK THE CASBAH...wait..wait..where are my pants again?!?!
Dr. Misense errr Strobie

Those aren't your pants.. that's a hat.. .. oh, no, that's not your color. Try the pink.

Well, all I have to say is that the next person damn well better have a good sense of humor.
Oh, and do the monkeys ever try to steal your cheese?

Hrm.. well, the next person definitely has some stuff going right for him, and you all will of course, let him know what he can do better to make things easier. And of course the monkeys don't steal my cheese. They've got their own cheese. It gives them wings.

Hey Brad, ......for, uh, 50 bucks, I'll bear your children...

...Hey! I'll find a way!!...

....c'mon, man, I really need the money......

Two words. "oOh baby!"

Transformers...Transformers....Robots in disguess...Transformer...Autobots wage thier battle to destroy the evil forces of the Decepticons....Transformers!

..OoOooh.. transformers...

Are there still going to be references to monkeys in the column with you leaving?

I don't rightly know.. maybe. "We'll see".

I want to bear your children!
bye im gonna miss you!!!!

Me as in Me me, or like me me. Or more like a MiMi? Uh.. confused... >X(

You never answered the all the letters i wrote.Print this last and i will accept your apology.
-jolly red giant

Okay, okay, I'm in a generous mood.

[Please read in Monty Python French accent] Your mother was a moogle and your father smelt of tonberries!
--I am Francois du Grimm, and I will get medieval on your very rear!

Oh yeah, well, I'm German and marching towards your capitol city, GIVE UP

Don't change your name I mean leave, I mean Oracle!

Don't worry, Vicki, er, Gloria, er, Steve!

Hey Brad man it is way too bad that you're leaving. Perhaps ??? will be alright though. Well as a going away present, I'm sending you this pic of my pumpkin at Halloween. Heh, I love cactrot/cactuars. Yeah, sorry it's a little late, but the film developers screwed up with it and such. Perhaps you could post this on your column (please?). It took so much work, why, I should guest on ???'s column. It took a lot of work because I suck at drawing, much less carving. Well I'll stop babbling. Au revoir, mon amie. A tout a l'heure.

Haha.. I love this pic.. er, this pic. Damn HTML tags.. gettin' antsy on me on my last day.

Words from the Wise One:

Well, that is it. The last thing to do is to close up the column.. throw a silly quote down in my name.. and my stint as RPGamer Q&A guy is over. It's been an awesome ride.. despite the late nights, (and sometimes early mornings.. very .. very early), I don't think I've had this much fun doing a lot of crazy work. Ever. Before I jam outta here for the very last time, though, I'd like to thank some of the people who really made this thing possible, or just better, in their own little way:
  • Heather A. Sinclair: Not only have you been a great source of humor to bounce ideas off of, but recently, you've been emotionally there for me in a way that's totally awesome. We've been through a lot before all of this started, and we'll probably go through a lot more. You're awesome, darlin'. You make my crazy world that much more crazy, and I love ya for it.
  • Cows Factory: The pics of the Ninja Turtles were great. Thanks a lot, and good luck with your digital camera in the future. :)
  • Googleshng: Of course, for the image editing. And the guest hosting job, and for some really good laughs.
  • Hunter Wilcox: When the Oracle didn't know, he went to you, and more often than not, you provided. Release dates, general info, a whole lot of that FF8 stuff.. you're the best man. We're gonna rock out and party hard come May. Thanks a million.
  • Veronica Henry: For the weekends, the lonely nights with just you, me, the moonlight, that stupid italian guy playing the violin, and our RISK(tm) Board Game, laughing as we took over the world, one feeble er, impressionable mind at a time. Oh yeah, and for that sandwich you made.. the one with the... *THWAP* right in the middle...
  • RPGamer Staff: In general. You guys are a great support team. I've never worked with a more fun team of people. And now I'm gonna crack the whip in New Media, so anyone even near that better start lookin' out!
And finally,
  • Mike Tidwell: For the hours of laughing, fun, the moral support, the jokes, the hosting, for just affording all of us this awesome opportunity to do something and be a part of something this big. You're a cool man, Mikey, and thanks a ton.

Brad "Hey, who's that fat lady, and what the heck is she singing... OH NOOOoOooOooooo" Lohr

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