The Oracle
The Oracle, Brad Lohr - November '99- 01:20 PST

So, I'm like.. going towards my plane for Paris.. when I get hit over this guy who keeps yelling at people to stop smiling at him. And I wake up. Glass of water. Some bread. A laptop. A note that says, "DO YOUR COLUMN PRETTY BOY HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" ... ... and I guess I don't get anymore food until I do. I think my 'jailer' is this guy .. in a pink outfit. But his head is all black and white. Says his name is "Pink Freud"... this is disturbing.

.. anyway, all I can tell is that I think I'm on a train. I think. It sounds like a train. Either that, or someone's got a bad cold.

It's getting cold in here.. I'd better do my column before my fingers get numb..

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Heh, heh, corporate takeovers are COOL!
In Brad's Head
Is that a mouse?
Oh nevermind.. it's a killer whale.
I always thought they'd be bigger...
Oulan, she's.. a bodygaurd.
*** Suikoden 2 spoilin'***

I've been playing Suikoden 2, and I have practically all the characters except for that stupid Oulan. The thing is, it says to go into town with an all-female party. What is up with that?! Is there a way to make the hero have a sex change because I can't make an all-female party since I can't kick out the hero! Help! Helpppp! I can't imagine beating this game without all the 108 stars (cough, cough).

-Metus (it's LATIN)

Go in with 5 female characters and the hero. Just walk around town, I ran into the thugs after crossing a bridge on the left side of town (I think) .. got beat up, and then there she was. Pretty cool, and kicks butt. But not as much kickbutt action as Sci-Fi Wakaba.

You're not hyp-- YER NOT IMMUNIZED!
Here is a song I wrote in dedication to Veronica in the same fashion as I wrote yours.... just thought you might enjoy it :)

::to the tune of "American Pie"::

"We started singin' oh my, this veronica girl. works on weekends to give us another funny-ass URL

Without this gal we'd be left with no pal, and our weekends off would pretty much suck......our weekends off would pretty much suck....

Have you seen this violent chick purple-thwap you with an ugly stick? And she'll give you a few dozen licks...

And she thinks her section's going down the hill, and she'll kill deniers with her MAD thinking SKILLZ, lord i think.....she is... on some pills....

Oh but we the readers don't give a hoot... as long as she's there, we'll continue to root

And i'm looking at the date.... OH NO! It's monday we hate!

Weekend's over now and we're all bored, buh bye veronica, your section roared! So who are we stuck with now that she's offboard? Oh no, it's the Q and A dude!!!

We started singin' oh my, this veronica girl. works on weekends to give us another funny-ass URL

Without this gal we'd be left with no pal, and our weekends off would pretty much suck......our weekends off would pretty much suck...."

- Jesse

Uh.. heh. :)

Energy.. overwhelming!
*** FF8 Item Answers ***

Hey Brad,

Ok I can't take this anymore. I have looked at every online faq as well as the Official Strategy Guide and I cannot get the items needed to get the pulse ammo. I know I can get an energy crystal from Elnoyles, but I have never seen one. I can't even find a power generator or laser cannon. If I don't get the LionHeart soon, I'm afraid FF8 is doomed to spend the rest of its life with Tales of Destiny, Star Ocean 2, and other games which I really don't feel like beating anytime soon.

-Just some dude

I know I've done this before, but here goes again: Elnoyles are found in the streets of Esthar, the city. After getting the Ragnarok (at least this is when I did it).. land on the building for landing... heh. er, anyway, then walk out about two screens. I just ran in circles.. takes less than 20 battles, and you generally get a couple energy crystals. Caution: I seemed to get less items at the end of the battles when I was mugging. I've had people tell me I'm full of it, but I'm pretty sure that I didn't get adamantine from Adamantoises when I was stealing some stupid thing from them, but got it the very battle after I took off mug.

Boko's chocochix0r.
Hi there.

Your page seems to be the only one on the net to even mention Chocobo World. After fighting a couple of battles (must have been some 50 or so until now) after Boko's Chicobo girlfriend got kidnapped, i.e. after reaching Level 100, I now start wondering if there's an end to that. Since I can't raise Boko's Level anymore, I can't get to any new maps either. Is there a certain number of battles I must fight in order to reach some new boss or "girfriend" event, or what? Do you or anybody else know? I wonder...



Er.. I'm not big on the pocketstation stuff.. though I know a couple readers out there sure are. We'll see what we can gather for you by tomorrow.
I know a cute little chix0r..!

Rokkin' out, with da ninjas
*** More Suikoden 2 Spoilin' ***

Dear Nutty Oracle,

In Suikoden II, how do you get to Rokkaku? Thanks.

Ryan Laytham

On the mountain path to Gregminster, shortly after the ladder thing, is a hidden path to the Ninja Village of Rokkaku. Without Kasumi, you have to have a fully upgraded castle in order to recruit the two ninjas there. With Kasumi, they'll just come along.

Hey, I didn't write it..
To the Oracle:

I read your list of endings in Chrono Trigger, and I had a question about #8 (perhaps you saw this question coming, being the Oracle and all): how do you know it's Frog on the top of Magus' castle? I haven't played CT in a while, but I recall not being able to tell if it was Frog or Magus in that final shot.

~Some foolish miscreant

Actually, I agree with this, I think the intent was that you couldn't tell who really won. I just printed the text file out as I had it. I wasn't about to change stuff in it. It's been a while since I played Chrono Trigger.. though Spence'd be able to settle it all. Course, he always liked Magus better, so he'd say Frog got his croak stuffed down his little warty throat.

FF8 Orchestrated CD info
The answer to sasami's question is the FF8 symphony orchastra soundtrack comes out on 11/20/99 and you can get it for $33.00 unless your a club member and you can get it for $19.88. By the way I have to ask this question who was your favorite FF8 character, mine have to be Zell or Selphie

Soryu Asuka Langley

As always, bringing you the info, the day after you ask for it. ;P

Captive Quickies

Chicken soup is fun and fattening. Eat some!

... But.. the chicken soup is my friend! It talks to me!

Brad, we're here to take you away to a wonderful place where life is beautiful all the time. Just put on this magic jacket...
- The Men in White Coats

That's not my magic jacket.. mine is in the birdhouse! Fly Tinkerbell! Run away from the bad men!

How many years does it take, to suck as bad as much ass as you!!

I would really hate for all my readers to send this guy email about how bad his grammar is. I would hate it even more if you signed him up for like gay porn mailing lists or something like that.

You animal, you know well that I cannot let you do that. Ys is now back where it belongs. Don't you forget about me. I am the bandit, Goban!
- Goban

Always proving that there is room in the gene pool for improvement..

What do you think? Cheddar?...or Muenster?

Muenster. Totally. I love that stuff. It's my favorite cheese. And you all know how much I love cheese.

Your sense of humor and tastes are incredibly similar to mine. I'm very scary, aren't I?
-Zeromus Mog

Er.. yeah. The Zeromus part doesn't scare me.. but oh no! Not big-bang moogle rush!

Words from the Wise One:

Er.. yeah. That's not fun. I don't know what's going on.. other than this is a long trip. :( And pink freud smells. Badly. If I'm still alive tomorrow... we'll talk again. I'll probably be hungry by then.. :o Oh yeah. Send in Questions for Googleshng. Crazy stuff'll work. He'll be on for one of the days later this week.. currently looking at Thursday or Friday.

We don't need no .. psychiatric education!... yeah, pink freud.

Brad "It sure is dark in here.. and what's with the guy with the pink dress?" Lohr

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