The Oracle Nutcase!
Crazy Weekend
The Oracle Nutcase!!, Brad Lohr - November '99- 00:30 PST

Craaaayy-zeee... who's cray-zeeE? Not me! I'm NUTTY, heeheehee! like peanut butter. .. I like goldfish!

.. and popsicles!

.. and cheese! CHEESE I LOVE CHEESE

MoOooom, she's on my side of the line! .. she's.. SHE'S LOOKING AT ME!!

make it stop, make it stop, make it stop.. pleeease pleaaaaase ..

If you're happy and you know it... clap your cerebral cortex!

I'm happy! :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)


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Chrono Trigger Endings...
*** Chrono Trigger Spoilin' fer sure! ***

Oh mighty oracle,

I am in desperate need of your help. I have noticed much talk of Chrono Trigger's different endings in your column. I thought I had gotten all the endings, but talk of a slideshow and the girls rating the boys have confused me. It looks like I've missed some so exactly how many are there in total and can you tell me how to get them, or direct me to a place that details them all. This has rekindled my interest, and I was hoping to milk just a little more out of my fav RPG of all time. So please, please enlighten me.


Well, I still have an old text file that I got long, long ago with this subject matter.. here ya go:

1.The bad ending: Lose to Lavos in any time period, any method of getting to him.

2.Programmers ending: Beat Lavos either at the UnderWater Palace, or before you rescue Queen Leen in 600 A.D. This ending lets you talk to the various programmers who worked on the game, along with a special set of credits just for you...

3.Frog&Leene ending: Beat the game right after coming back from 600A.D. and saving the Queen. From will end up marrying the's pretty funny.

4.Monster slapstick ending: Beat the game right after entering the end of time through the bucket. Three monsters will do silly things during the credits.

5.Robo/Tata ending: Beat it after arriving in 600 A.D. Shows Robo in futuristic Leene Square and Tata going after Magus, but instead of Magus, shows Crono, Marle, and Lucca.

6.War Ending: Beat it just after getting Hero Medal from Tata. Shows party arriving in closet portal in Medina, reptiles chasing after cavepeople, Magus + co. on a cliff, and Guardia soldiers preparing for war.

7.Cast of Characters: Beat it just after returning from getting the Red Stone in 65,000,000 B.C. Shows various characters of the game - major, minor, and otherwise. Not very exciting.

8.Frog vs. Magus: Beat it just after Frog releases the power of the Masamune in 600 A.D. Starts out in Lucca's house, when Frog decides to take on Magus. During the credits, we see various bits of Frog's journey into Magus' domain. Finally, a battle takes place between Frog and Magus. Fighting is heard during the credits. Finally, it shows the outside of Magus' castle, with the silhouette of Frog standing at the top of it. Way cool.

9.Reptile ending: Beat it just after defeating Magus. Shows scenes from the game, but with the characters as reptiles.

10.Frog and Magus II: Beat it just after defeating Azala in 65,000,000 B.C. It shows various scenes of Frog going after Magus, and Magus going after Lavos, and some other scenes. Almost as cool as the first Frog/Magus ending.

11.Marle and Lucca's slideshow: Beat it after Schala opens the sealed door in 12,000 B.C. It is the sealed door to where Queen Zeal, Dalton, and Schala are. Do not power up the pendant though, go directly to Leene Square and take the right telepod to get to Lavos. This ending is a slideshow hosted by Marle and Lucca. They will talk about all of the men in the game.

12.Millennium Fair Moonlight Parade: (without Crono and Magus) Beat it after returning from the Ocean Palace. All of the player controlled characters in the game go after the Guru of time in search of the Time Egg (depending on whether you got it from him or not). Frog will also have turned back into Glenn. It also differs if the Epoch was destroyed or not.

13.Millennium Fair Moonlight Parade: (without Crono, but with Magus) Almost the same as above, but Frog will still be a frog. Again, it differs if the Epoch was destroyed.

14.Millennium Fair Moonlight Parade: (with Crono, but without Magus) After the Parade, everyone says their goodbyes. During the endings scenes with the Epoch, you can see Frog has become human again. The ending is slightly different is the Epoch was destroyed.

15.Millennium Fair Moonlight Parade: (with Crono and Magus) This is the standard Moonlight Parade ending, in which everyone goes their separate ways. The rest of the ending depends on if the Epoch was destroyed or not.

16.Other variations on the Moonlight Parade Ending: This ending will vary slightly depending on whether or not you used the Epoch to get to Lavos, and whether or not you saved Lara from being crippled. It also depends on how many cats you have at Crono's house. But the only difference seems to be the number of cats in the scene.

Damn mimes..
*** FF5 Spoilers, to a degree ***

Hey mister oracle,

I just got FFA and i noticed that when the water crystal(I think it's the water)there's a piece that I just couldn't find a way to get at.Is there a way to get it?or is it just to piss poor little gamers like me off??


It's all about the MIME-types. That crystal is seen early, yet you cannot get to it until much, much later. Sorry. .. well, at least it isn't just there to tick you off. :)

Suikoden 2, and the dawgs
Hey Brad the Bad (bad in a good way)

Is it just me, or is potch the STUPIDEST name for money in any rpg ever? It sounds like Suikoden II's currencey is a type of boot-leg liquer.

Anyway I am having trouble getting that kobold Gabocha. I have finished saving two river city, but he's never in the kobold area. I even have Gengen in my party but he's not there! according to all faqs i can find he should be there and all you need is gengen in your party,.. I suppose his house is the house with Gengen's diray in the bookshelf. Damn,.. I need all the stars, I hope I didn't screw up and have to start over,... grrrrr,.... woof. Please let you holy wisdom shine on me,...


Yes, Potch is very dumb. I agree. I had the same thing happen to me when I went to go get Gabocha. He ended up being there a little later... (shrug) I don't remember what triggered it. I only beat the game with about 80 of the 108 stars. I think less than 80, actually.

First post, first post!
Hey Brad what up??

I have a question about Grandia you can hopefully answer.....why did it take 2 years to get friggin translated!!! This game is awesome!!!! Better than all the other RPG's that came out this year so far!!!! Yes, including FF8 people......anyway, it came out for the Saturn in December 97' right?? So why did it take Sony two years to translate it?? I mean, being touted as the "FF7 killer" would no doubt spark some interest in why nowadays does it take companies generally six months to translate an RPG yet it took Sony two years to port Grandia!!! We should have been playing this game this time LAST YEAR!!! It really irks me that the Japanese have had this game for two years yet we American gamers are only getting a taste of it now!!!

First Grandia question, and the answer is, "Because They Can". Sorry dude.. that's just how she be.

Wanna whup up an Ultimata-Omega Omlette?
*** FF8 Spoilers ***


For all of you who complain that the Ultimate and Omega weapons are too hard to kill, try this:

1. Complete the Card Club Quest at Balamb Garden and win the Gilgamesh card from the CC King.

2. Card mod the Gilgamesh card into 10 Holy Wars (invincibility for all three party members).

3. Use these Holy Wars unhesitantly during the battles with the two weapons (especially the one with Omega weapon, who can tear through your party before you can even scrape him). One holy war should suffice for Ultimate Weapon (if you need to use it at all), but their use is almost imperative when fighting the Omega weapon. You'll probably use 5 or 6 of them if you aren't lucky getting the LionHeart limit to work.

Good luck everyone. See what you can do.


I didn't have any trouble with Ultima... but I didn't even try Omega. :) He's one tough .. dude.

I just like the whip-crack.. oh yeah, and Big Gaurd
*** FF8 Spoilers ***

Okay. On a whim, I discovered a very nice Blue Magic for Quistis.

Shockwave Pulsar.

Yep, the same thing that Greiver likes to pound you with. And it's very cool too! I mean, it tends to do around 30, 000 damage in one casting {the only thing besides Eden that does more than 9999 in a single hit, as far as I know.}

My question is: Why does it do around 5000 in one casting or a few, and then just jump to the mega damage for a few castings, and then alternating some, and then getting small again...

I do know what it's NOT. It's not casting it in succession, it seemed like it at first, but that didn't work when I tried.

Oh yeah! If you or anyone you know does not have the insane mount of luck to stumble upon this {of course it's probably in the strategy guide, bleh} here's how you get it.

1. GF Siren must be at level 100
2. Get 100 Curse Spikes.
3. Refine curse spikes {I forgot the specific ability that does it, just look around till you see it} into the item called "Dark Matter."
4. Use Dark Matter on Quistis and voila! Shockwave Pulsar is yours to deal out massive amounts of death with! {Great for Ultimate/Omega Weapon!}

Heh, what I wouldn't have done to have had that vs some of those nasty Ruby Dragons.. zap zap!

Video Game CD information...
I was wondering if Veronica or Brad or whoever's reading my e-mail has heard of anything about Final Fantasy 8 Symphony Orchestra soundtrack? I heard that Digicube and Squaresoft were planning to release one, but I can't find any more information like when's the release date?! Help! I'd be eternally grateful!


I've heard stuff, but not much. I don't keep up much on music news. Sorry. Anyone else got info on this album?

Sow your wild oa-- SeeD.
Just what is the highest SeeD rank you can get? Everything i have read says it is 30, but today i was building my levels up (for that bastard Omega Weapon ^^) and the payday meter rolled over from S-Rank 30 to S-Rank "A". I get 30,000 gil every payday now at rank "A".

The Ever-Funky Pimp-BOT 9000

Yes, 'A' is the final rank you can attain, kinda like how 'A' is above 9 in the card game. Square just likes to use a base 11 number system. The perverts.

Lightning Quickies

Bo knows football. Bo knows baseball.
Moogle Child

Bo knows I'm comin' for him...!

some guy stole me SNES Chrono Trigger cartridge and smashed it with a hammer....what should i do man???

Eat him.

I'd just like to say that my fallopian tubes have PLENTY of social graces. Thanks :)
--Pook! ^_^

Oh geez, you left yourself.. er, wide open... for .. comment.

Brad, why did you have to start posting pictures of yourself? Now the chicks don't buy my "I'm the Oracle at RPGamer" line anymore. I'm so lonely...
Not Brad Lohr

Dude, if someone can drop down a lil' o' the goods in my name, let them have at it.

Dance? Jump! NO!!
-Freak Child

.. alright, I guess I'll have to let these pictures out on the newsgroups then...

That haiku in your sig is _so_ good. I laughed for hours! Post it in the column! Do it now! It's going in my locker ;)

Heh. That's right, the only real writing that I do is my haikus. Here's the one I'm using right now for my email signature:

Sing a song, now dance!
Don't make me beat you again.
I really like cheese.

- Haiku of Tragedy, TLE '99

Oracle, My mouse pad just snarfed at me.

Don't let it talk to you like that.. fight back man, with the power!

I like cheez
-Cheezfan #825

As the Haiku above says, so do I.

Words from the Insane One:

I'm a cucumber, I'm a cucumber, I'm a cucumber, I'm a cucumber, I'm a cucumber, I'm a cucumber, I'm a cucumber, I'm a cucumber, ...pbbbpplllease don't take me to the pickle farm! Badaaahh, badum badah!

Brad "Am I Neil Diamond or What!?" Lohr

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