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Brad Lohr, The Oracle - June 26 '00

Well, there... it's Monday (okay, late Sunday night for me), and well, we're starting sorta feel ... I guess I'll be doing the columns more at night, (which is bad, I think.. as I tend to play games until laaaaaaaaaaaate at night... which means I might break schedule, but hopefully only on the times before my own nexts).. anyway. Where was I. a new

Oh yeah.. new stuff. Anyway, supposedly this will help Google out getting his columns a better turnout on Tuesday, but if it doesn't, we'll all know it's because of how grumpy he is at the beginning of the week. :)


And before I get myself into TOO much more trouble... I bring you...

The first Monday in a long-ass time, for me.

Now with more letters!

Ask Tuesdoogleshng
Now that was messed up.

Recent Q&A's


The Old stuff
The Archives
Brad Now Playing:
Suikoden 2
Wow, played nearly all day, almost through with the game..
In Brad's Head:
Insert more Mt.Dew to continue...
Thank you!
Question and Answer
Beyond the bad reputation...
O Great and Wise Lohracle who commands the Leigon of Primate Commandos, I suck up to thee in the hopes that this letter gets printed!

[ I honestly don't know where I got a rep for being the type who only printed stuff like this, I honestly don't hardly pay any attention to them. ]

OK, enough of that and on to the letter. One last tip for the Cave Magnes problem -- if you DIDN'T visit Edward and get the TwinHarp, you will be creamed by the Dark Elf and not get the second fight with him. This once happened to me when I was replaying the game and forgot to visit Edward before heading to the cave.

Yeah, I've done that before too... dOh.

The thing with the Soul Eater Rune and Ted's/McDohl's agelessness.... I think the *real* reason behind it is that it is one of the 27 True Runes. Leknaat and Windy also survived long due to the Rune of the Gate, and I believe the Dragon Knight commander.... Joshua?.... also was said to have lived long due to his Dragon Rune.

Yeah, I'll buy that. Heck, I'd buy just about anything right about about reliving old memories... sleep dep columns! WOOHOO!

About the Top Ten list yesterday... I gotta take issue with #6 (Somewhere in the title, the words 'Beyond' and 'the' are used in conjunction...) I actually enjoyed Beyond the Beyond. It had an old-school look to it like the "Shining" series on the Genesis (Shining in the Darkness, the Shining Forces, etc.) Kept me wondering if they were done by the same people. Do you know if they are?

I actually liked Beyond the Beyond myself.. granted it was the ONLY RPG out for PSX when I got mine, but I still liked a few things about it, (the number of characters, and their uniqueness.. that dragon attack! hehe.. really well done.. always fun to see a huge dragon head comin' outta nowhere to flame-on the enemy.. (Flame oonn!) .. Flame off.

And a question on a non-related note: does the person who sent in the cool fakes of Gau piloting the airship and the CT race with SMB characters have a website-gallery of such pics? Those are cool.

As I recall that wasn't by the same person.. but if I'm wrong, I refer back to the tiredness statement. :)

Oh, and if Bradical is a word, what is the definition given for it?

Bradical (brad'uh'kuhl): adj. "To resemble the awesome glory and splendor that is, well, me." .. or something.

-Kenneth Whitten, RPGamer Sage (aspiring)

.. do they have a school for that?

P.S. Nice URL link to the monkey army page in the Quickies the other day.

.. yes, BBSoft is the new fun thing of the week to read at work. :)

P.P.S. If we called you the Bohracle, would you go Atomic? (Apologies to Niels Bohr for that abhorrent pun.)

..... you're going to hell for that. Just thought I'd let ya know.

Financial Advice from Brad-san
O mighty oracle of thundara making brad goodness and haiku stuff,

So yeah, like, what's up and stuff? Okay, I'm wondering what I should do with my money. You seem to be a good person to ask, so here goes

heather is neat-o
she should guest host next weekend

that would be damn cool

Get stocks. They last longer. :) ... "This is not the advice you're looking for.."

That's right.. BRAD KNOWS.. or is that Bo? I always get us two confused...
Hey Brad,

I am just wondering why every RPG ever released has the same max hit points (HP) or less. After playing and beating 20+ RPG's in my lifetime it would really be a nice change to see a spell like holy or ultima take off 40,000 instead of the VERY dull 9999 HP that's standard in todays RPG's.

Honestly Brad, I don't even care if this goes up on your site. It's just that I've asked 3 major videogame sites this same question twice and all six times I havn't got an answer. Maybe it's because they're embarassed that they don't know, but I would really apreciate an anwer. (or you guys admitting that no one on earth knows :) )



  1. SaGa Frontier (not sure about 2): I've gotten well over 20,000hp worth of damage in one shot.
  2. Legend of Legaia: Yummy ultimate combo damage!
  3. Final Fantasy I, and Tactics (at least): Only 999! Doh!
  4. Valkyrie Profile: In the demo version at E3, I am pretty sure I saw the team do well over 80,000 hp worth of damage.

Like I said, I didn't know if it did Japanese or not...
Hey Brad!

Babelfish only translates European languages such as French, Italian, German, Portugese, and I believe Russian also. Don't expect an exact translation either. I usually use the English to French stuff and people I know fluent in French tell me how they translate stuff is wrong sometimes. The translation stuff from Babelfish is also at too under translations. Anyway, since you live in California like I me do you know of any good place to get imported Super Famicom and PSX games? I'm more into the SFC games but a lot of the places online rip you off; the only good place is NCS and their stock is very limited (good games, just ones I don't want). Any idea? Thanks!

Tristan Adnade

Well, the only place in California, (okay, the only place, PERIOD, since I haven't but barely been out of California) that I've been to that sold imported games was this place in Milpitas (in the Bay Area) that Edge showed me. I've tried finding them when I was down in LA the last few times, (boy, I'd love to have the Suikoden soundtrack.. yum) .. but haven't had much success. They're fairly few and far between, depending on area. More of them up in the Bay Area, I think.

Well, I haven't quite earned my CPE yet.. (nor will I ever.. )
Brad Dude,

I know Gramblebang gets most of the gaming hardware questions and stuff, but I need to know the answer to this NOW, dammit! Is there any way to repair the rumble-thingie in the left grip? I broke the damn thing playing Pro Skater...

Heh, WELL, if it's a sony-made dual-shock or dual-shock analog controller, you should be able to get it repaired by Sony. I don't have the phone number available, but at this hour, it doesn't really matter. Check their website, or check the boxes/manuals to whatever hardware that you haven't thrown away yet. And as a parting thought on this subject:

* You pummel YourCat for 30 points of controller damage!

Suikoden Questions
In suikoden, I found a walkthrough that says Pesmerga is in Neclord's room after he's been defeated, but she's kinda random. As is some guy who appears in the inn where you met Lotte. I haven't even seen these two people. Any clue how to get them? Am I doing something wrong? (By the way, I don't have a PSX right now, cause my bro and I are going together for a PS2... So this info won't be useful for a while). Second, how do you get ultimate magics to mix? I have cleo at level 4 fire, Kuromimi at level 4 earth and McDohl at max (wotta surprise). Now what? It's not working.

Well, first off, the inn spoken of is the Inn at Rikon.. Lotte is upstairs, (this may only be after the battle at Milich's Castle), you hafta find Mina, her cat, in order to get her to join. Mina's in (brain freeze...uerghghg) .. that town you got Tai Ho in. :) KAKU! That's it. Yes, go there, trap the cat in the bottom righthand corner, near the bar. (Above the area with the ladder to the bar.. it's not too tough). As for the other person, that'd be my main man, Clive. He shows up randomly inside the Inn on the first floor, after you've gotten your castle to max size. (Some people say that he may be attainable before this, but I tried it on my last game, and well, I spent like an hour going in and out of goddamn Rikon trying to recruit him, it didn't happen. Could be luck.) Clive's the man .. he's got a bazooka thing. It's fun.

As for the mixed spells, make sure you're using compatible elements, (Water and Fire don't make big boom, they make a lot of fizzle dust steam.. sorry, Asheron's Call.. :o .. anyhow, also, I have never gotten the "huge ohMYlawrD" spell that is hinted about in the Old Book. McDohl's Soul Eater never mixed with anyone else for me, either... but you SHOULD be able to do the Earth/Fire combo... make sure the two with the runes use the max level spell, (I always found getting the "greater runes" {Mother Earth, Flowing, Rage, Thunder, and Cyclone} was a better way to do this), and make sure that the two spell happen RIGHT AFTER ONE ANOTHER. If anything happens between the spells, be it one of your members, or one of the enemy's attacks, the spells won't mix. The best way to do this is to put the two party members right next to one another in the lineup, and use the Spark rune on a faster member of the party.

Unanswered Questions and Comments
Torture scene in MGS, more detailed answer.
*** MGS Spoilers... beware that Egg Foo Yung! ***

MGS spoilers I guess...

The torture sequence in Metal Gear Solid. Here's the deal:

  • Better not fail, cuz that means dying, which means game over with no continues.
  • If you submit to torture, you get the weaker of the two endings, but you get the optic camoflage suit for your next game. (ala Predator)
  • If you resist the torture, you get the better ending. Also, on your next time through the game, you get a bandana which, when equipped, gives you unlimited ammo.
I think the camo suit is cooler than infinite ammo, but you have to get the weak ending. So, play through and submit to torture, get the camo suit, do it again with the camo, getting the good ending. 3rd time through, you'll have the ammo bandana, the optic camoflage suit, and you'll also be wearing a tux.. (James Bond style)

AND... a few interesting facts for the MGS impaired:

  • Otakon, the cool scientist guy, gets his name from the Otaku Convention (he's an anime nut)
  • The main character's real name is Dave, and Otakon's real name is Hal... "I can't do that Dave." (2001) The two even chuckle about this in the weak ending.


The "Official" word, if you believe it ;)

I work at babbages. Computers say that release for Chrono Cross is August 18. Maybe a day earlier depending on UPS/FedEx. Just lettin that guy know. BTW if you preorder it, most places have cool little Chrono Cross clocks- pretty nice.

Other sources say August 2, so keep yer eyes peeled to the news pages.. trust me, the moment we learn that it's shipped, it'll go on the front page.

Naz, the FF7 man, gives ya the straight dope.. as compared to the gay dope.
*** Baby FF7 spoilers.. as if everyone doesn't know EVERYTHING about this game... ***


In response to the FF7 question yesterday, I just wanted to clear up some things. First, it's impossible to meet Zack, let alone for him to join your party. If you want to get technical, though, you play as Zack (Or rather, as Cloud imagining he's Zack and recalling Zack's actions) during Cloud's flashback on Disc 1 (That all gets cleared up on Disc 2). However, on Disc 3 you can return to the Mansion in Nibelheim (after visiting Lucrecia I believe) and you'll see a short cinema wherein you learn that Zack dies before Cloud even arrives in Midgar. Therefore, it is pretty much impossible to have Zack "join" your party, unless of course there is a gameshark hack (There's one to get a post-Disc 1 Aeris clone).

But if you didn't get the connection where Cloud = Zack = Cloud (but not really) then you missed a lot of the game.

Hope that helps.

- Naz

Heh.. "Made in your Backyard"
I'm hoping that you or one of the readers can help me out with this question. I recently bought a Playstation (yeah, I'm late, college) and I'm having some problems with it now. It's been only four weeks since I bought it, and am hoping to be able to exchange it.

Anyways, when examining it I discovered that it was made in Mexico. That struck me as kinda odd, and am wondering if any PSX's are supposed to be made outside of Japan? I bought this from a store that is a major chain, so I don't think it would be pirate, but you never know. Thanks.




Brad: Not to be disparaging at all about the woman I love, but she's not a "BABE" in the way I think most of you are getting at... she's good looking, but not yer model-strip running, "Hi I wear small little things and your eyes go "BOING!" (.. heh, 'eyes' :P) type of girl. Anyhow.. I like her just the way she is, but ya'll are kinda misconcieved, (boy doesn't that have duplicitive meaning), at least, I think you are. :)

Well Brad, I don't know about you, but I just love the feeling of a silver bullet sliding into a well-slicked chamber...

Revolver Ocelot is my one and only true love.

~Bishounen Zach

Brad: *Makes an unerringly funny joke about beer, monkeys, the 7 deadly sins, and an Irishman named Funk-o-Landy O'Brien*

One time I hired a monkey to take notes for me in class. I was just sittin' there with my mind a complete blank, while the monkey scribbled on little peices of paper. At the end of the week the teacher said "Class, I want you to write a paper using your notes." So I wrote a paper that said:

"Hello, my name is bingo, I like to climb on things. Can I have a Banana? Eek! Eek!"
I got an F, when I told my mom she said "I told you never to trust a monkey!"

-The End-


Brad: Audio Version Here(500ish k .mp3 format)

Hmm, Heather guest host...
Should Brad share space with her? Well,
She's cuter than Brad.

Count that a yes.


Brad: That's not what my mom says. :(

Heather should guest host
Cuz Kefka is really cool
Shuddap it made sense

Brad: When you're tired enough that THAT makes sense....

Wind blow tree to sway
Rock make respect to father
The sun has much bright

Brad: You know, I only love you for your insane Haiku....

Heather as Guest Host?
Certainly, Mr. Lohr, but
Only by herself.

Brad: Oh, I SEE HOW IT IS... this is the sexism inherent in the system!

Ever tried having a reader guest host??? Stupid I know but its allows peeps to have their 5 seconds of fame.

Brad: Actually, yeah, I used to do 'contests' of sorts that would get readers the ability to show off how goofy they are, mostly to get disowned by their family the next day... (or get hero-status in the chess club, ahhh high school .. the fond .. okay, who'm I kidding. I hated high school.

Tell the guy with the manboobed friend to watch Fight Club. Poor Bob.

-Andrew Mark Bowen esq.

Brad: (snicker) .. good movie, by the way.

Taco Bell? WTF does that have to do with RPGs?

-Nova, the SG

Brad: No me gusta, papi!

I thought I'd kick it up a notch, BAM! Instead of a haiku, how about a limerick? Just a change of pace...

My vote to Heather I do boast;
for she is the guest with the most.
She plays the games,
and takes some names,
A peerless Aluvian guest host!

-Joy "Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn for sega!" rok

Brad: I am caught highly off-gaurd by the use of Asheron's Call lingo in your limerick.. and not only that, but Heather's character is Aluvian. :o

Expunge the 108 deleted messages from "INBOX"? Yes

Brad: O_o heh.. the 108 emails of destiny! Just funny after 2 days of near-straight Suikoden mania...

Wrapping it up...

Okay. That's all she wrote, kiddos. It's now 1:30am, but I've got a column up early-like.. before the east-coasters are gettin' up for schoo--- er... it's summer.


I don't feel nearly so motivated as I did a second ago.

I think I'll just go to bed.

Yeah. Bed.

Brad "Buddy! Dude! Homie! Dude! Homie! Buddy!" Lohr