The Oracle  

  U givv me motezzz  


Brad Lohr, The Oracle - June 3 '00

Well, I expected a lot more hatemail from you guys. I thought you'd all be all over my non-Japanese-loving butt. But you weren't.. lovely little supporters that you are.. (of course, Vagrant was pissed, but in his blind rage, he suddenly lose the ability to spell, if you want to see how dirty an elitists mouth gets when he's dragged out into public and shamed, it's at the end of the Comments section).

Anyhow, I gotta cut outta here somewhat early today, so I'll leave about half the letters for tomorrow's column.. which means I should be able to get it up a bit earlier, which will make Gramblebang a very happy little slimey.

Have I told you today that I love you guys?!? AWWWWWWWWWWWwwwwwwwww


Let's do it again, baby!

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Asheron's Call
Or at least, I would be if Heather weren't hoggin' the computer.. hehe, I'm in trouble now. :P
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I love you, Heather :)
Yer the best! Awwwww
Question and Answer
No end boss.. but that must mean that you can't....
In a recent poll on RPGamer a seemingly harmless question was asked. Would you still play a RPG if there was no final boss? How can you NOT have a final boss?! Without a final boss...well...IT'S JUST ANARCHY!!! It's like eating all the cereal and not finding a prize at the bottom! Without a boss I'd be a confused lost child walking aimlessly through the streets humming boss music from other games. You know, games that had the curtesy to INCLUDE a final boss! Without a final boss, there'd be no final boss music! You wouldn't have any need to get your characters to level 99 with every powerful weapon and armor. Without a final boss the ending of Final Fantasy 7 would be like this:

Cloud: So...we're in the what?
Barret: I...uh...don't know. Wanna go get a beer?
Cloud: Sure.

So I implore you Brad. Would you still play a RPG if it lacked a final boss?


Well, I play a game every day that doesn't have a 'final boss'. Now MMORPGs are a bit different than your standard console, but realistically, that's just how it works. There's no final badguy to squish, and say, "I've beaten this game." It's kinda odd.. you're just a person, you go out questing, and well, you do your thing. The game isn't about progressing the story... it's about playing the character, getting more stuff, meeting more people, seeing more places. I can understand that. But I totally agree with you that console-styled RPGs would have a long time before they were really at this point. (Diablo could have been made that way... just as a note.)

Hehe.. Telemarketing... eevil
Oh Mighty Oracle,

Here I am, sitting at home on a warm summer afternoon, and I'm really bored. Many of my summer days are like this. You see, most of my friends are out of town, and since I have nothing to do I figured to look for a job. Then today I got this letter in the mail from a company offering H.S. grads (that's me!) openings in Customer Service and Sales with starting pay at $10.55 an hour! Unfortunately, I assume Customer Sales means trying to annoy people over the phone to the point where they'll buy your damn product. Anyways, my question is, have you or has anyone else worked in this position and is it worth the money? Are most people kind on the phone or are most of them like my neighbors dad who will cuss and yell at you because you interrupted their dinner? I know this isn't RPG related or anything, but I figured I'd get a good response from some like-minded people :)

Thanks in advance,


Now telemarketing is evil. Down, straight, to the point evil. But if you can stand the evil, it's fairly decent money. Just watch out.. and don't let any of your friends know what you do. Tell them you clean toilets at McDonald's or something.. there's more respect in that. :)

Suikoden 1 .. oh, it's been SOO long.
Hello Brad-san,

I need your help in Suikoden. I only need three stars of destiny, but something is not right. I found eighty-some by myself, and the rest by using RPGamer's FAQ, except for Crowley, Window, and Leon.

Leon I can't get without Mathiu, but I'm just before the assault on Gregmister, so I want to get the other two first. Then when Mathiu's around for the conclusion, I can grab him.

Window is strange. I've seen him in the same spot a couple times. He was in Oppenheimer's castle, but when I finally found the artifact to get him to, I went back, and he was gone. Do you know where he went! I'm going nuts!

The FAQ said Crowley was in the caves behind Qlon. I've went threw there five times, but I still haven't seen him.

Any help you could give me on these three would be great. I really want to use the save in Suikoden II, or else I wouldn't care. I don't really want to play the whole thing over again, either. Please help!

The Great Cornholio

Well, the only one I'm sure on is Crowley. He's in a 'hidden' passageway in those caves.. you'll need to run up against all the walls in order to find him.. I could find it myself no problem, should I be in the cave.. but describe it exactly? No chance. I'm pretty sure you walk through a bottom wall, however. Window.. well, I think you're a bit late in the game for Window. Ya need to get these people before the very-last-bit. :P Leon should be recruitable, however.. but I'm not sure. Make sure to get him before going into Gregminister.

MmmMm.. Chrono Trigger..
Hello O Powerful and Mighty Oracle

I want to comment the Vagrant Story/ Tactics case (Q&A about Durai), and add that there's no doubt a connection exists between the two games. I found some item called Agrias's Balm (I think it's the name, but I can't verify it, my memory card with my 22-hours of play blew out :(

Moreover, it's the same man who made the music (Hitoshi Sakimoto). Btw, which one composer do you like the most: Nobuo Uematsu, Sakimoto, or Yasunori Matsuda (Xenogears, Chrono)? I've the CDs of almost all Squaresoft games, and I must say I can't really say which one I like the most... (maybe Uematsu, but they're all great...)

Other than that, have you played WAII, and can you tell me which interest is there in playing such a game (no, I really didn't like it...)?


P.S: sorry for my english, I'm french

This is the perfect example of when I say people who say, "Sorry for my English, I'm _____" have better English than most Americans. I would never had been able to even remotely tell that this person wasn't a natural speaker of English. (hell, I'm making about 30 typoes per sentence right now). Anyhow, my favorite composer would have to be Matsuda. I love CT's music.. I love Xenogears' music, he has a style, and I -really- like it. And no, I haven't played WA2. I'm gonna get it someday when I have money again. :) Or maybe Heather will buy it for me. :D

Unanswered Questions and Comments
Yeah! YEAH!
Sorry Vagrant, I'm gonna have to agree with Brad on this one. Saying that haiku can only be about nature is like saying Shakespearian dramas can only be tragedies. When you have to conform to certain rules, the poetry loses its meaning. In the end, it's people like you who ruin the form by limiting the beauty of the meaning with your set styles and regulations. Some of the poets that are considered masters now such as Basho were heavily critisized for not conforming to the style of the period when they were alive. And, by the way, I can think of at least a dozen haiku off the top of my head that do not envolve nature. So Vagrant, as Brad said earlier, bite my ass.


P.S.- If I have the cash to import, then I deserve to play anything I want.

Chip that mo-bad!
Hello Brad-meister,

Javahead Jones wrote in asking if a mod chip shortens a PSX's lifespan. Well, it doesn't (at least by any meaningful amount). I've had a mod chip in my PlayStation for at least 3 years now and it hasn't cause any problems whatsoever. I say get one, it's cool to get games months before they come out here. Anyway, that's all I have to say. Oh BTW, not that it matters but I got Jennifer Aniston (yawn) in that quiz.

-- Matt Franklin

Attention EBay shoppers, there's a sale in alt.binaries.p-- err
Hey Brad,

About "Ogre Battle" for the SNES - I don't know where that $100 estimate came from, but I surfed over to EBay and there are copies going for around $35. In fact, none were even that high, but I padded it a bit to account for last minute bidding and shipping. So if you want OB for SNES, go for it, it isn't as expensive as you think.


Nice shot sent in.. :) Lovin' this.
I don't pretend to approve, I just print the questions.
Ey, Brad.

Do you know if a Saturn with a Action Replay 4M Plus cartridge in it(One of those things that lets you play import games) will let you play copied games? Or do I have to go get my Saturn Modded or something. The reason that I am going o get copied games is that well, I want Shining Force III Scenario II and umm, I can't find it anywhere except on ebay for around $100. Copied is like $5. That and the Shining Force III Premium disk. Now, before you start being all mad at me for supporting the pirating industry, think this: Sega wasn't going to get my money anyways. They don't make anymore of these, and I wasn't going to buy these things for hundreds of dollars. So, if you don't know, maybe someone who reads the column does. Thanks


*** Naughty Language Imminent ***

How dear you talk like that to me you piss face.[Oh no, I'm a piss-face!]

How could you say that to me.[Well, I typed it out. You pissed me off with your little elitist attitude, and I said you could go screw yourself, and obviously you didn't like -that- either.]

A donkey should rip open your mouth and c^m in it for the shear[sic, should be 'sheer'] pleasure of it.

Maybe you, Google, and the donkey should go f*$k each other until you both [Google+Brad+Donkey .. 'both'. 1+1+1=2!] bust you faget.

The Vagrant

This is what people do when you prove them wrong about you deserving to play games or not. They misspell and misuse 'faggot' in the most horrendous ways.. I guess Google got in on this somehow.. or maybe there's just a secret donkey joke in his column I'm not getting...


On a side note, Brad, I'm getting married tomorrow (saturday, June 3).

Brad: Well, I doubt you're reading this then, but 'grats. Or I'm sorry.. you tell me. :)

got matched with Pamela Anderson Lee eww...
and.......sniff..sniff Howard Stern.


Brad: That's okay, Heather got matched with Howard Stern too.

Hey Brad,

Ever have dream where your going to school and all of a sudden your naked. YES naked!! And then you see your girlfriend and she is NOT naked but then you go to class and then....oh no....YOUR TEACHER IS NAKED. damn


Shinji Ikari-"i think im losing my mind this time"

Brad: Well, I've gone through the naked at school one.. but never the other naked people at school. Though once, I was working at a restaurant, and a woman walked in topless. :o (Not in a dream, doh!) It wasn't the prettiest sight, unfortuneately.

NICE rant on Friday! I was very impressed.


Brad: Zac used to get everyone pissed off at him when he went off... when I go off, I get more support. Don't ask me.. I just work here. :|

I see the headline
Far-East culture elitist
Gets ass whooped by Brad

Faz is all about capitalism...

Brad: *snicker*

i don't want the world. i just want...your half.


Brad: Mine! Or I will help you not!

Wrapping it up...

Okay, I gotta get out of here, got plenty of things to get done today, (like cleaning the shower.. OHFUN!), so I'm gonna cut the Conclusion short, and just say... I LOVE YOU ALL AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWwwwwwwwwwwwww.. okay enough of that.

Brad ".. hehe faget! .." Lohr