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Brad Lohr, The Oracle - May 19 '00

Alright, 100th column.. though many people thought this was a fake thing or whatnot, it really isn't. Unfortunately, it's also not -exactly- my 100th column. That was last Sunday. Doh! This would be my 101st column as a Q&A guy for RPGamer... heh. And yesterday was the 100th agXXXXXX.html file, so if he says it was supposed to be one earlier, well, he's just having an off-by-one-error day, isn't he?

Anyhow, I've gotta make this quick, because I need to get to school. :)

I have provided a list of the 101 columns that I have written down below, for those who don't believe me, by the way ;)

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Question and Answer
Heh.. you want a space heater, go get a DC..
Hey Brad!

I've been reading your column for a long time, and now I finally have a question for you. I've wanted a Playstation for a really long time but never have been able to afford one. However the opportunity for me to purchase a slightly-used one for a good price has arisen, and I jumped at the chance to get a cheap Playstation, but it will still be a few days before I get my check and get the console in my house. I was reading about the Playstation on the internet and I read in some game review that if you leave your Playstation on for more than two hours it will overheat and your game CD will melt, or something else terrible will happen to the Playstation. You see, I'm a loser and I don't have any friends so I spend a lot of my time playing video games, and I think it would be very annoying to have to turn the Playstation off every two hours to let it cool down. (But I'm not THAT big of a loser, I'm sure it's something I could live with.) Anyway my question is if it's true, d!

o Playstations overheat when left on for for more than two hours? I have a hard time believing this and would like your Almight knowledge to help me out. (Yes, I think that kissing your butt will help get this awnsered.)

Anyway, thanks for your time!

Let's just put it this way, I played FF7 for like 20-odd hours straight, and I don't even reacall getting up for food or anything, when I first got it, and I've still got intact CDs.. so I'd say that you're pretty safe.. homey don't play for just a half hour or so.. I've gone on 10-16 hour game playing streaks often on the Playstation, and to be fair, I don't think any system has a current unreasonable overheat time, so I doubt any console would do what you've heard described.

I did have a slight overheating problem -before- getting FF7, however, but that was because it was placed on the TV, so the air it took in to cool itself off was the air the TV was pushing out after cooling ITSELF off, so wasn't doing the PSX much good. Some good signs that your PSX is having a bit of heat problems is jumpyness during FMV, sound distortion, and if you feel the thing and it is -really- warm to the touch, well, it's probably not the best thing. I did call a Sony rep, and their suggestion is to leave it off for 24 hours, unplugged and everything, and place it in a well ventilated area so that it can completely cool down.. I did that, and never had a problem with the machine from then out. I have a different one now, because my sister wanted one, but didn't want to buy a new one, so I bought a new one at half price (pretty much), using the money she paid me for mine to half-pay for the one I bought. 'sides, I have two dual shock controllers now. :)

Suikoden1 save not imported, doh!
Dear Oracle-Creature,

This is probably a little delayed but I just got Suikoden 2 and .. well anyway, I just tried importing my save game from 1 to 2, but instead of working it just kinda went 'beep'. It could've been 'toot' but the point is that annoying 'Suikoden 1 save game not found' (or something) popped up. I'm pretty sure I did everything right, including getting all 108 stars as well as saving at that very last point 2 or 3 screens right before the last boss whatsisname. I was just wondering if it ever happened to anyone else before or if I should just trade in my copy of Sui2 for a toaster.

-Kay (ye gods I'm sleepy)

Actually, this happeneed to me, and well, I couldn't totally confirm if the save I tried to use was at the right point or not.. at least, I -didn't-, not that I couldn't, so I don't know what's up... try lookin' up in past columns about Suikoden2 save importing information, someoen I recall had information that was very specific on what you could do.. or .. maybe that was an FAQ I read... memory.. ... fading... (snore)

I saw this in your May 13 column. You did a grep search of your directory. Now, I'm a linux newbie, but I am learning and want to know how I can use grep for me. (I am using Mandrake linux) Basically, I've always wanted a search engine for the Q&A columns. So, can you please maybe just give a quick example to me on how to search the column directory with grep?


Thanks in advance,

Well, you'd have to have access to the directory where the columns were stored.. or just download all the HTML and store it locally. Since you don't, let me give you the username and password to log into RPGamer.. just promise me you won't change any of the pages, okay?

Username: lUser
Password: cody362536omg

.. er.. heh.

Er.. ew.
Geez Brad! I went to E3 looking for 3 people from the industry, and you were one of them. I mean, the whole time I was there I was telling my friend, "Where's Brad? I can't see Brad!" Hell I even did concentric circles around each hall. But get this. On the third day, I was walking from the south hall to the west hall, and as I was walking I saw this girl that looked exactly like Heather. So I immediately looked at who was accompanying her, and there was this guy who looked SORTA like you. Except he looked a lot younger, and sorta looked like he was in high school. Anyways, we passed right by, and he looked straight at me and it did this kind of slow-motion thing where the whole time my mind was calculating whether it was you or not. So here's a question. What color of shirt were you wearing on Saturday? Because this guy, who I thought was you, was wearing an orange shirt. And IF you were wearing an orange shirt, I WILL be depressed. I could even say I'll look for you next year, but I WON those tickets, so that was my only chance. Damn!

-Skip Olivares

I thought I told people to send me email if they wanted to meet at E3.. but no, I didn't wear orange at all.. I think black/tan one day, and dark green/tan the other days.. (my nicer stuff, so that it wasn't TOTALLY obvious I'm a slob college guy :P)

Short-Stuff.. (hey, I had a g/f I used to call that..)
I like letters with lots of short little questions that only require short little responses. those are the only ones I ever bother to read in the back of mycomic books. So, I thought I'd submit just such a letter to you, Brad. Plus I really wanna know the answers to some of em:

  • why is the version of 'Eyes on Me" played on the Ragnarok different from the one used in the ending FMV?

    Because they like .. baseball?

  • I've played most of the FF games, and everyone has always ended with the starfeild and "The Prelude" looping infinitely....except FF8. Why the change? I was deeply dissappointed....

    I agree. There are a few things I really look forward to, the first time I beat a new FF game.. the bridge crossing theme is SO one of those things.. messing that up is such a sin. :(

  • Saying Xenogears is complicated is like saying Fonzi likes his hair: it's an understatement. Still, I think I've figured most of the storyline out except for this one thing: Why did variations of Fei and Elly show up all throughout the history? there were like 5 or 6.

    Heh.. well, it was like this 'person' had a task to complete, I guess, and well, they were special people, so they just kept getting their personality passed on, generation to generation.

  • Why does them second disc of Xenogears suck so much compared to the first?

    Because they're hungry?

  • Do you know of any RPGs, or upcoming RPGs, that feature full voice acting through-out the game?

    Ugh.. several.. I'm not a fan of the voice, but I think Valkyrie Profile does, and also Rhapsody.

  • Like everyone else, I've read about Square's plains for FFXI to be on-line only, with each person playing there own character, sort of what I've heard about Everquest. Does this mean that your character will lack any persoanlity (or it's supposed to be the player) like in CT and SoM? And will it lack a fixed, involving story ?

    I suppose it will be an, "add your personality here" type of thing.. the PlayOnline demo they showed at E3 wasn't horribly explicit, but we'll see in the upcoming months..

    Thanks for your time, you're the coolest Q&A person out there!

    Xenogears Deathblows...
    Hey Brad,

    I have a question about the Deathblow learning system in Xenogears. I can't seem to see any sort of pattern in what buttons will get you closer to learning the deathblows. Sometimes, a certain button will not work, so I'll go to a different button, and when that stops working, the first button I tried starts to make it go up again. I looked at some of the FAQs, but couldn't find anything about it. Also, do you learn deathblows while in gears? The one time I checked, the number didn't seem to be going up while I was in a gear, but it mighta been that I wasn't pushing the right buttons.

    Anyway, thats all. Oh, happy 100th column, 'n stuff. Bye

    Sushi Tosterhead

    P.S. I don't think Goog likes me. He/she/it never posts any of my annoying, pointless quickies.

    Hrm.. as I recall, they were really easy to figure out.. at a certain point, however, you won't learn new ones until you get past a certain level, so that could be it.. .. I remember all the 6 point combos were really easy to figure out.. it was like, (in number of points per button, since I don't remember which had which value): 1,2,3 - 1,3,2 - 2,1,3 - 2,3,1 - 3,2,1 - 3,1,2 - 2,2,2 - 3,3 though well, I could be wrong. Been a while. ;)

    Was it a pink tail? No? YOU LOSE
    Hey Brad!

    I have a question. I was playing Final Fantasy Tactics the other day, and I decided to send some of my guys on a job. So, when they returned, they brought back an item. This item was a rat's tail. What is it? I tried looking around for it in my inventory, but I couldn't find it. Also, the bartender said that I had become a "Treasure Hunter, Level 1". Does this mean anything?

    -Azo, the Chunky Monkey

    Well, sending guys out on jobs gets them experience, and can often bring you in a lot of money.. but the items you bring in are pretty much just worthless. They're neat memories from other games, mostly... from the other FF games.. but the Treasure Hunter lv1 has the purpose of making other jobs open up if you get a high enough Treasure Hunter level... so if you're into the jobs, make sure to get the goods and get the levels.

    Unanswered Questions and Comments
    Oh, you're a sick, sick person...

    I have a great idea for a Nintendo 64 RPG. I think this game could turn the tables on the Sony dominated video game market. Nintendo should combat Square's Final Fantasy series with a ground breaking RPG.....FULL HOUSE RPG. Based on the late 80's , early 90's sitcom comes Full House RPG to the N64. Michelle has been captured by the evil Manny Tanner, Danny Tanner's evil twin brother. Now the Full House gang must take to the streets of San Fransciso to save the beloved Michelle. Danny Tanner, Jesse Golzolplis, and Danny's daughters, DJ and Stephanie are your party members and Kimmy Gibbler, the nieghbor sells you items and equipment. Joey and Rebecca are hidden party members. The tanner caln takes to the streets and crusading family values, teaching morals to the criminals they encounter. You can bulid levels in the the Tanner household and all the while the wonderful Full House theme, "Everywhere you Look" is the music to play by. Yes a true Nintendo and request they make Full House RPG at once!!!!!! Oh and watch for the long awaited game from Harpo Studios Gaming Corps., Oprah Moes the Lawn....starring everyone's favorite talk show host....OPRAH WINFREY!!!!!

    [Editor's Note: You're the guy who came up with the story for Quest64, aren't you?]

    You missed the top way to get printed, "Make Brad laugh".. :)
    Wow, man! 100 columns of pure bliss from you. And to think, it seems like it was just yesterday that we were celebrating Goog's 100th column, and only a couple months ago that we showered you with congrats for working 6 months... Er, wait, those times are accurate. Dude, next thing you know we're gonna be having surprise parties for you people getting haircuts... Anyway, for this joyous occasion, I made two lists, one is full of examples that demonstrate how to get your letters printed, and two is how... not to. Anyway, here we go...

    [Honestly, Goog and I were kinda surprised that we'd had the same number of columns about the same time.. it was just odd coincidence... of course, I've been doing Q&A a lot longer than he has. ;)

    The Top Ten Five Ways On How To Get Your Letter Printed

    5. Blah blah blah blah blah blah MONKEY! blah blah blah blah blah STEVE! blah blah blah blah BANANA! blah blah blah NINJA TURTLES! blah blah blah PERL! blah blah blah...

    4. Print this and I'll give you ten bucks! Er, no, I mean I'll kill you if you don't!

    3. I know this won't get printed, but...

    One of my personal favorites.. honestly, the people who write in with the least belief in their printability are far more liable to get printed than people who do a BAD job trying to get printed..

    2. I have a question:
    What is it like, Mr. Lohr,
    To be a teapot?

    1. Dear Lord Almighty, Breather Of Fire, Destroyer Of Mountains, Creator Of War, Man Who Puts Leonardo DiCaprio To Shame, Boiler Of Water, The Magnet To Women, The Chosen One, The Great One,

    You wouldn't believe some of the suck-ups I -don't- print :)

    How's it going?


    And now...

    The Top Five Ways On How *NOT* To Get Your Letter Printed

    5. Ca/\/ u s3/\/D /\/\3 /\/3kkiD pIcZ of H347H3r?

    4. Why is Squaresoft so gay?

    3. What do you mean by "The Christian Coalition is evil!"? All we want to do is make you do as we say and take away your freedom in God's name! You atheists are so stubborn! Geez...

    2. No, I'm serious, why is Squaresoft so gay?

    Hey, I'm definitely not totally square-biased. :P

    1. How come you never print any of my letters?! I spent *hours* writing that essay on why Locke reminded me of Jonathan Taylor Thomas, and you just deleted it like it was a piece of garbage! That's the last time I ever ask you how to calculate the circumference of a circle, you... SaGa Frontier lover!

    Yeah, okay, I wasn't as creative on the last one, but I'm sure it's better than three fifths of the quickies today combined. Anyway, congratulations, man. I hope I'm doing this again in another four months when you celebrate doing this for a year, or when you finally decide to nuke Antarctica, whichever comes first.

    ~The Sack~

    Hahahaha.. What's Cookin'?
    Somehow, I think Google was lying about the 100th column thing. Probably revenge for the "What's Cookin?" escapade. Nonetheless, happy 100th column! And on your centennial anniversary, why don't you promote something worthwhile?

    It's a petition to get Nintendo to get Earthbound 64 released in the states, instead of just Japan. Since EB64 is near completion but wasn't displayed at E3, it's in danger of never being translated. They need 10,000 signatures to show Nintendo that they do have RPG fans in North America.

    Anyone reading your column who owns a Nintendo 64 would have reason to sign it, so could you post it up?

    Urban Zombie

    [Always there to help out past guest hosts.. and I guess I missed Google's column after the What's Cookin' thing.. I'll hafta go back and read that.. (snicker)]

    [ Hahahaha.. just read Goog's column after the What's Cookin' episode.. you all RULE, you know that? I love all my fans.. ;)]

    List of the 101 columns that Brad has wrote
    The 101st Quickies Airborne

    Will you give me your opinion on the Final Fantasy Symphonic Suite CD 1 to 10

    Brad: Pickles. No, honestly, it's good. Take a listen to it to see if you like it (there are mp3s on the net), and then if you don't like it, don't buy it.. that's always a good suggestion, (if slightly less than perfectly moral, in some people's eyes)

    If Vincent had an itch on his right elbow, what would he do?

    ~Captain Faris

    Brad: Morph into something without elbows... DUH.

    happy 100th column, Brad
    May the reign of the Oracle last forever!!!

    Brad: Hell, most people are already sick of the monkey jokes.. I think I might be by the time I'm 30 or so. ;)

    Actually Down Syndrome is caused by 3 "21" chromosomes, making it XXX, not XYY. XYY would end up as a miscarrage.


    Brad: Actually, XYY doesn't cause miscarriages, (looking), here is a link to a page about XYY males. Down's Syndrome is in the 21st set, which isn't about X's and Y's, and is often called "trisomy 21" because of the 3rd chromosome in the 21st "pair".

    C'mon! Everyone's reviewing multiple games, why aren't you? We want your opinions on Fallout and Fallout 2. Heck, how about AC, isn't that a MMORPG (is that the goofy acronym)?

    Hmmm... you're not trying to deceive us with the "100th" Q&A column like Goog?

    - Surge

    Brad: Heh, well, they haven't asked me to write a review on any games.. and well, I don't have a ton of time, and well, in all honesty, the last time I was supposed to write a review, er, it took a bit longer than they expected, so maybe that's why I haven't been asked to do another ;) Also, I just did check, and this is actually my 101st column.. so Goog lied to you. :)

    If you input the konami code incorrectly in gradius three you auto blow up. very funny.

    Brad: Enough of us have enough practice at that to be VERY good at it... _

    Wrapping it up...

    er, well, I gotta get outta here like .. really quick. I've already missed one class.. and it's the last day of normal classes.. finals next week.. wheeee... see ya'll tomorrow.

    Brad "MOOTBEAM" Lohr