The Oracle
Death Faerie
The Oracle, Brad Lohr - March 12 '00

Howdy. What's up, kiddos? It's been an interesting weekend, that's for sure... but we've all hung in there together, (that is, if you aren't so pissed you'll never come back, you probably aren't reading this comment right now, so I'll just figure you're on my side, heh heh).. and it's the end. But we've still got today's stuff to get through.. and heck, it's even a decent hour to be starting this thing.. I might make it to bed before it gets into the 'ungodly' hours of the night.

In other exciting news, the DSL line for Spencer and my own house has come through.. or at least, they've given us a date in which they will install it. 1.5Megabit downstream, baby.. I can't wait. But I have to, the install date is the 6th. After that, I might start working on my personal website again, and someday you all will be able to visit a site that is pure and unadultured Brad .. (somehow that just seemed wrong using those words in regard to myself.. not that I'm impure.. just anything having to do with adultured. .. right, moving on)...

What else... oh yeah. I cooked dinner. Not that this is too rare, but I actually REALLY cooked for myself for the first time in a while. it's just been so busy recently that I've been poisoning myself with fast food or its ilk, and haven't gotten down to real food in quite a while. It was a pleasant change. I look forward to having more free time in the years to come.

And I'd just like to say, that there are some meals, in which one can of Mountain Dew is just not enough to cover you the whole way.


On that note, (it was definitely an F#) .. here we go.

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GoogleThing, the mannish Girl-Wonder bread box .. toaster... oven.

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I've said it before, I'll say it again...
Hi Brad

You guys keep talking
about haiku and stuff, but
what is a haiku?

Anyway, I have some questions here.

  1. Let's say that Final Fantasy Tactics doesn't exists anymore. Now, on this world of chaos, what's your favorite RPG, Brad?
  2. In FF6, HOW can I beat the game with only Celes, Edgar and Setzer? I always get Sabin and Terra to join my party in the World of Ruin!

That's it for now
But I sure will be back
Wait for me, man.

The Nightblade

Well, since FFT isn't exactly my favorite game, (though it is ONE of my favorite games.. it's a great game..) I'd have to say that Tacitcs Ogre, (which I am now replaying!) is my all-time favorite game. There can be only one. As for #2, it's not easy. Kevin, my friend has done it. You have to skip out of going into the town where Sabin holds the house up, and go straight towards the dock town where you follow Edgar around. After that, pick up Setzer like normal, level them all up to lv99 really quickly, and proceed to the destruction of Kefka. It's not easy. Some tips:

  • Vanish-Doom works wonders, but won't work on Poltergiest.
  • Make sure to get each person to level up with the right Esper equipped to start maxing out stats such as Attack Power or Magic Attack Power.. you'll need all the extra UUmPH you can give them.
  • Megalixirs, Megalixirs, and Elixirs, as many as you can find.
  • You don't -have- to get Strago to go up the Fanatics Tower and get that Gem Box.
  • It may take 20 hours to get three economizers, but it'll save you more anguish than you'd believe possible.
  • You're going to be missing some of the best Espers in the game. Don't be too reliant on things like Life3, because hoss, you ain't gonna have 'em.
Anyway, hope that helps out a little bit.. join the club of people who do insane things in their quest for really 'beating' a game.

X b0x0rox .. socks.
'lo Brad (Mighty Oracle and Tactics Ogre Extraodinaire)

When i first saw the hardware specs for the X-box i thought, "You bastards!", and then when i saw all the game developers backstabbing Sony and Nintendo, then jumping ship, i thought "You trecherous dogs!!" and then i saw the processing power of the X-box and thought " the car off the cliff, i should get back enough insurance cash to get a new car AND get the X-box too!"

I'd just like to know your opinion on the X-box? Seems to me that Sony and Nintendo are in deep krud with this thing (at least Sony got a head start, i'm feeling sorry for Nintendo right now)


Now I'm not much of a Microsoft fan. Period. I say that out and am proud of it. .. but hey, the specs look good for that box. I had already stated that there is only one nextgen console I'm getting, at all, period, and well, regardless of what's going on with the XBox, I'm going to be getting a PS2. That is, unless they start really sucking between now and the release date, and then I'll pull back my cash and get myself a Dreamcast. I do not see much XBox in my future.. and I can only hope that certain companies (Konami, Square, Atlus in particular) do not start making specific games (Suikoden/VH, FF etc, Ogre Battle) exclusively for the XBox, because well, that'd make me cry.

I said MATH, what's with this Literature crap?
Since yesterday was a bit poetry-oriented, let's see if you can guess where this is from. BTW, it's a western writer, dead for, oh, about a century. Shouldn't be *too* hard:


'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe.

It's only the first verse, since the whole song is too long and all. If you can explain what it's supposed to mean, you get extra credit. ;-)

Zohar Gilboa.

Well, it's from the "Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass" set of Lewis Carrol's. It's supposed to be complete gibberish, and as such, was a complete success. That's what you get for doing drugs, kids. See that? People will look at your gibberish for years, and then your parents will know what you did all through college. Shameful!

All I have to say is, HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
  1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
  2. When and how did you decide you were a heterosexual?
  3. Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?
  4. Is it possible that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?
  5. If you have never slept with a person of the same sex, is it possible that all you need is a good Gay lover?
  6. Do your parents know that you are straight? Do your friends and/or roommate(s) know? How did they react?
  7. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Can't you just be who you are and keep it quiet?
  8. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?
  9. Why do heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into their lifestyle?
  10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual. Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual teachers?
  11. Just what do men and women DO in bed together? How can they truly know how to please each other, being so anatomically different?
  12. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is mounting. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?
  13. Statistics show that lesbians have the lowest incidence of sexually transmitted diseases. Is it really safe for a woman to maintain a heterosexual lifestyle and run the risk of disease and pregnancy?
  14. How can you become a whole person if you limit yourself to compulsive, exclusive heterosexuality?
  15. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?
  16. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don't you feel s/he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of her/his own leanings?
  17. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. Have you considered trying aversion therapy?
  18. Would you want your child to be heterosexual, knowing the problems s/he would face?

Well, if you didn't like the subject before, you especially won't like this, but I find it really funny, and well, NYAH to all of you who don't like it. I'd have to say that 5 is my favorite.... Hah!

Hey, I found your Limiter.. you want it back?
*** Star Ocean 2 Spoilers ***

Hail O Mighty Oracle!

My failing memory seems to recall that you beat Star Ocean 2, right? 'Cuz, well, the thing is... I accidently got rid of Indelcio's limiter, and now he beats the living snot out of me. Don't tell me I need more levels! Isn't level 96 enough?! Is there some way to bring Filia back or something?

A very troubled Rand

Heh, no, there is no way to put back on the limiter.. what were you thinking, going off and discovering things on your own. Looks like it's the Cave of Trials for you.. the only place to get yourself the requisite 100 or so levels you're going to need. You thought you were hot stuff with your lv96 folk, huh? Well, guess what.. when you're 120-something and STILL gettin' the snot beat outta ya, you'll think different. Try getting to about 150 before you try him again with the Limiter.. and trust me, we all feel for ya, man. That's not an easy task you have ahead of you.

What's with your 'tarded limits?
Hey Lohracle-dude,

I live out in California too, so I know all about Prop. 22. I agree totally with you; we shouldn't have a religion deciding our laws, that's what California's Legislative Branch is about.

Ok, here's a math question for you from my quiz the other day: What is the limit as x approaches 0 of the square root of negative x?

As for game questions...umm...oh yeah, that Little Goose person who wrote in about Chrono Trigger, this is the part where you're supposed to go through the Mystic Mtns. gate and go to 2300 A.D. where the Epoch vehicle awaits. Use the Epoch to return to 12,000 B.C. Brad said that you need to visit the village to the north...I don't think that's necessary as far as I can recall. Anyways, the Mystic Mtns. gate should let you jump right on in. That's what my guide says at least.


First, since the function f(x) = SQR(-x) is defined at 0, the limit of f as x->0 would be f(0), or 0. As for the Chrono Trigger thing, the part I was talking about was just before you went to the Tyrano Dome.. so I might be totally messed up. Head to them thar Mystic Mountains or something.

Tactics Ogre Questions! Priority and Printing nearly assured!
I just got Tactics Ogre for the Playstation, but I'm having a problem leveling up my characters. The training mode is okay, but they only get 1-3 experience for each hit! At this rate it'll take me years to raise their levels! Do you know any other easier ways to level up? Thanks


I love answering questions about this game! :D Anyhow, the whole bit to training is basically that you want to get it done as quickly as possible, but you definitely want to do it. Training is a very necessary thing, and you'll find yourself getting killed all over the place if you don't do it. Always, (er, didn't stress that enough) ALWAYS keep all your characters the same level. If they aren't, then the other guy's flunkies will all be higher level than some of your people (if not most), and that can really suck. Now for the HOW to level up your characters quickly: It's quite easy. When a guy hits another guy of about the same level, he gets about 3 experience. If he kills said otherguy, then he gets around 15 exp. Now we can all see that hitting someone for 3 exp, when you need 100 to level, is going to take FOREVER. So there are two methods. The Milon way, and the Brad way. Both are highly suggested, one is easy, the other is quick.

  • The Milon Way: Take all of your characters, find the ones that need the levels, put them on one team in training. Put all the characters of a higher level in the other team. Select both teams to be controlled by the computer. Go get something to eat. Come back. Guys have leveled up, repeat until everyone is the same level.
  • The Brad Way: Take all of your characters. Set both of the teams to be controlled by you. Get everyone on one side of the battlefield, and don't start killing eachother yet, this is an organized training exercise, not "bonk Brady over the head with my stick because I get Exp for it hehehehehe" .. right. Now put the people with the higher levels up in front of the rest of the people, and have them facing away from the group. Start throwing rocks at this person. You'll notice that you get more exp for hitting someone of a higher level than you, in fact, if they're one level higher, you get 8 exp, if two, around 15. This still isn't much. Now comes the fun part. Say level 5 is the target level everyone should be at by the end of the training. (Someone should already be level 5 for this to work). Mr.Lv5 goes in front. People start bonking him with rocks. Once someone is at about 25 Exp in Lv4 (75 exp till lv5), they go and KILL Mr. Lv5. Boom! They get about 75-80 Exp for killing a guy one level higher than they are, and they are now Mr.Lv5. Repeat as necessary. As a side note, if you get extra Mr.Lv5's as you go on, try whacking them with a Lv3 character.. instant level, (you get 100 Exp for killing an enemy two levels higher than yourself). This still takes a little time, but you get pretty good at it, and usually once you get a few people to the target level, it just takes a little while longer. Make sure not to kill the last of a certain team's participants, by the way, or you'll end training.

Yummy PS2 info.. yummy indeed!
here some info about PS2

When playing Playstation 1 games, when the Graphic Interpolation function is enabled, the 3D texture will be filtered and appear to be cleaner than running the game on the original Playstation, games such as Chrono Cross, Armored Core and Densha de Go! will have much better texture quality on PS2 (most notably in Chrono Cross, both graphics and animation are enhanced). Also, when the Optimal Reading Speed option is enabled, the PS1 games will load faster, games like Street Fighter Zero 3 or KOF98 will load about 50% faster, while the loading speed is unchanged in certain games such as Super Robot Taisen F.

Yes, yes yes! Play my old PSX games better than they ever were! YES YAY!.. this is why I'm buying a PS2. Because I'll be able to replace the PSX, and eveything will still work!

Post Garbage Collection Quickies

All day long, I search.
Please don't take my mind, because
You've stolen my heart.


Don't be makin' those eyes at me... pervertie!

The reason for all the pi questions is probably because Pi Day is the 14th.(3/14)

-Sofa King Cool

.. I didn't not realize! Let them eat pi!

yo man, I got the pocketstation problem solution fer you.

De dang thing needs CR2032 model button batts. Don't confuse them with the thinner CR2016 ones. Youse probably gots one of them 16s in there.

That should do the trick

Thanx, dawg

Do you play Worms Armageddon? You made a reference to it in your column. If so do you play over Worms NET? What's your online handle there?

- GaminMachine "It's not that I'm bad, it's just that my ropes conspire to kill my worms!"

Alas, I do not play on WormsNET. I have very limited experience with the game, besides having it on my hard drive and being able to play it at any time.. it's a hilarious party game, but I never can quite get into the mood for it when there aren't a couple other people around to play with. (shrug)

Did you ever play any translated Japanese RPGs via emulator? If so, which ones were your favorites? (for the hell of it, FF 2, 3 & 5 don't count...)


I have played the FF5 ROM, (before I knew they'd be shipping FF5 over, and I own that now), and I've downloaded the fully translated SD3 rom, just haven't the time to get to it.. (someday, someday!) .. so I really don't have a favorite, though I really do look forward to SD3.

Will you sell me your copy of Tactics Ogre? I can't find it anywhere.

Like hell I will! It's mine, you hear me.. ? MINE.

Hi. This is a stupid question. If you had to be one FFT character, who would you like to be? My sister said she would like to be Meliadoul. Is this good? I'm afraid of her now.

Agrias Oaks Gillies "Body and soul,I'm a freak"

Heh, I dunno, I'd go with being Meliadoul myself. I mean, except for that whole naughty Izlude thing. ew!

When you run away Monster sticky to your guy Jump and keep running...

Janet Reno

Heh, that seems to work for me, I tend to get away often enough.. but Heather, it just doesn't work for. I think she's not one with the strafe-jumping, if you ask me. ;D

What?! Bill Gates in Games?!
Software will hurt the X-Box.
Abort, Retry, Fail?


Hahahaha.. "REALITY.SYS bad or missing, Reboot Universe? [ ]Yes [ ]No (Check all that apply)

Words from the Wise One:

Well, well, that was a nice little column, a little .. less controversial, and still has that nice Brad feeling to it. I've gotten quite a few letters on both sides of the "good job/bad job" issue of recent, and well, I have to say that most people aren't pissed at me, namely Mike Tidwell, who has supported me through this, and I thank him very much for that. (Thanks Mike!) I also want to thank all the rest of you who said, "Hey, good job with that, Brad" .. it's because of stuff like that that I really do like doing this Q&A thing. I mean, hell, it sure isn't for the money or fame.. well, okay, I like the fame too. I admit it. That, and your girlfriend was hitting on me. But I told her I already got one. (snicker) "I told her we already got one!" .. alrighty.. time for bed. Night all, and I'll see you next weekend!

Brad "I'm Space Riki, I'm an Olthoi Queen!" Lohr

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