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Googleshng - August 15 '00- 1:00 Eastern Daylight Time

It took me a LONG time to write this intro. Suffice it to say, I decided to take this week off from doing everything everyone I know needs done... but uh... it doesn't seem to be working. Plus despite the fact that I popped into Paws' column specfically to ask you all not to send me any political comments or FFT stories, they're practically all I got. Still though, Chrono Cross is out this week, that's something! 8)

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How do you pronounce...?
In the PSX:
Haven't played that in a while.
OK, one FFT question gets through.
Hey Goog(if I may use that familarity)

After reading Paws response to the comment on your sex(a few days back) and the fact you responded to my query a few days back has infinitely raised my opinion of you. Keep up the good work!

And a question, or several;

1)Why weren't there any Dragons in any of the AD&D games(eg Baulders Gate, Icewind Dale etc etc) when they are a major part of the whole elf/dwarf/wizard/troll scene(i think it may be Nordic mythology, correct me if I'm wrong)?

2)What new AD&D games are coming out that you know of?

3)What is the point of the mime in FFT? He seems to mime rather poorly, only being accurate when miming a calculator(but why not just have 2 calculators?)?


Thanks for the compliment. Anyway, the only reason I can think of for AD&D games not to contain dragons is that, well, in AD&D, Dragons are VERY VERY VERY GOOD. The only new game like that coming out to my knowledge are Neverwinter Nights, Pools of Radiance, and Baldur's Gate 2. Finally, Mime can be a very very useful class when used correctly. They're basically useless when you're relying on long ranged attacks, but for global stuff they rock. Try this some time: 2 dancers, and 3 mimes. That gives you effectively 8 dancers, plus the mimes still get to attack when their turns come along. The chances of anything being a threat after taking 8 Nameless Dances in a row is next to nothing. Granted, it's not the BEST way to play the game, but it's pretty darn fun... especially if it's all important characters. Then you can defy gender bias and have Beowulf dance and stuff. Oh, and I flat out won't print anything FFT wise tomorrow just so you know. 8)

Hey Google! The missing vowels in your name honor me!

I just have a few questions...
<1>Am I the only one who thought Jade Cocoon was awesome?
Probably. 8)
<2>Why isn't Escaflowne a game?
Well, there isn't technically a game based on it, but uh... 8)
<3>Why does Paws pronounce things so well and spell them so badly?
Don't know, but I think I'll get her a spell checker for Christmas or something. 8)
<4>Who's the man?
That weird Motorcycle guy from CT.
<5>Where the hell did they get those pics for the top of the RPGamer screen?
They're all from official artwork somewhere on the site.
<6>Why doesn't the site have a counter?
Well, Q&A alone gets well over 6,000 hits a day. A counter would break pretty darn fast.
<7>Where's Ramza's nose?
In some prankster's fist I'll wager.
<8>Do you see the similarity between Chocobos and the Crow-like Horseclaws from Nausicaa?
It seems Miyazaki isn't the type to sue. 8)
<9> Have you played the Record of Lodoss War RPG?
You mean AD&D? Yup, I sure have. Seriously though, no.
<10>Magic Knight Rayearth was a crappy movie but a good game, which came first?
The manga series... that's almost always the answer to that... except with Eva.
<11>I heard tell of someone seeing screenshots from FFXI, is this true?
You mean these screen shots?

Thanks for the questions and the answering! They're showing Escaflowne on Fox so I gotta go buy some blank video-tapes!

Metaphorically Yours,

You know, since < and > are what denote HTML tags, that was a REALLY bad way to number your questions. In fact, as a general rule could you not stick < or > in letters. If you have to, use &lt; and &gt; to save me the trouble. Ooh, now THIS is some ugly source! 8)

RPG Love Interests
Your Holy Googleness
Okay this has been bugging me for quite a while. Why are there no gay characters in RPG's? I mean in all the Final Fantasies, there has never been a gay character or at least an openly gay one. They don't have to be the main character but I would enjoy a subplot involving a relationship between two male characters in your party. I even believe having them would increse acceptance of a lifestyle I myself live as well as countless of my teenage peers. So what are your thoughts on the topic?


Well... I honestly wouldn't be surprised if you could find that sort of thing in the Suikoden series. Not making any cheap Gremio jokes here mind you, but with 108 characters, there's room for an awful lot. Plus I seem to recall hearing specific mention of certain characters being gay... or was that just speculation? I haven't really played'em much. Instead I'll switch focus to something I know a bit more about. When you get right down to it, most of the relationships in RPGs are pretty darn platonic. With few exceptions, most of the romantic relationships in RPGs are just a question of character X having to rescue character Y. Really gender doesn't factor into that much at all. I mean, I'm sure if Rosa was brainwashed and Kain was the one about to be executed, Cecil would still want to rescue him. Come to think of it, you do have something of a valid point. I'd also still like to see an RPG where you DON'T have to save the world. Occassionally a game comes along that starts down those lines (avenge your father, rescue someone, etc.) but invariably, by the end, this goal ends up coinciding with having to save the world. So how about it developers! I dare you to make a game where the main character has to save their significant other of the same gender WITHOUT the fate of the world hanging in the balance! 8)

Dear Googleshng, King (Slime) among men,

This means very little if you decide not to print it, but I am willing to take that risk in order to add my own thoughts about the incessant gender-hunting that goes on in this column.
To be quite honest, as the Rock says, "It doesn't matter" what our slimy friend's gender is. Googleshng is a character, and we need to, as fans, be able to separate that character from the person/people responsible for this column. Consider, for instance, most early theater in a variety of cultures. Just because Shakespeare had men play all his characters' roles, doesn't mean that there weren't female characters in his plays. To make a more current and possibly relevant reference, just because the SNL character Pat of "It's Pat" infamy is played by an actress doesn't mean Pat "itself" is not androgynous. This is how it is with Googleshng.
As fans, I'm not saying we need to stop asking Google its has to be part of the fun, or such questions wouldn't get printed so often in the column. What I am saying is, we should only expect one answer, and that is the same one we've been receiving. I, personally, commend Google for adopting a character which transcends the traditional "RPGuy + RPGirl" issues. We fans, should respect this. I know that in this issue, as in all things that begin online, there can really be no final word. Still, I would like to add my two cents to the mix.
Whether or not this letter gets printed, thanks for reading anyway.


This letter seems to imply that I'm a fictional character, possibly run by a commitee... that's really disturbing honestly. Seriously though, between this letter and what Paws said over the weekend makes the whole What's My Gender? think seem like some political statement. It's not really... and if not for some weird glitch eating my first few columns, I'd show you this, but, well, you all started it. I just ignore it because people keep demonstrating to me how much fun they have finding evidence pointing to my gender. Some of those are pretty entertaining... especially ones that make a solid case for the wrong answer. 8) Oh, and isn't this issue long dead? What gives?

Oh wise and all-knowing slime of sages:
How do you feel about Chrono Cross having 40+ playable characters?

Best Regards,
Dan Calderman
New Media Director

That's an interesting question actually. There was a time long ago when if a game had a ton of characters, I felt obligated to keep all of them on the exact same level. Lately though I've dropped this habit and just started using my favorites of those. Also, Suikoden bothers me quite a bit since it has so many characters with so little variation. Chrono Cross doesn't seem to suffer from that. I suppose in the end it all boils down to how they implement it, but from what I've seen they leave room for an AWFUL lot of variety in any case.

I seem to be a little short.
What do you mean? There's a ton of FFT and Political questions here!

Listen to me when I hack people's columns to say stuff people. 8)


I have attached a screen shot of the secret Cow level from Diablo 2. Very fun to play, and also very challenging. The Moos are very funny, but don't let that fool you, cause you'll get your booty whooped with those axes. Moo.


Halberds actually. Anyway, there you have it. Documented evidence that Blizzard totally rocks.


What do you think of the political situation in FFT and how they affected the plot?

-Radrisol *evil smile*

Hehehe. Good one.

Man, i sure wanna be like sephiroth. He is so cool... Any tips on being sephiroth-ish?

Survey says: Grey hair+silent+plack trenchcoat="Sexy"

No Lieberman rants? BAH!

~ Striferoth

Look how long people have debated whether democrats or republicans are better. That threat wouldn't die if I didn't kill it. 8)

Straight from the cat's mouth:

Saturday - "...been away since Tuesday visintg another staff - Scarmilgion, actually."
Monday - "I'm dating the big demidemon thing in the corner."

The RPGamer rumor wheel goes round and round..


Heh. Nah, Paws and Scar aren't dating. They just live near eachother. If Paws lived near me, she'd visit me all the time. I sure as heck wouldn't date her though. That just wouldn't be right on so many levels.

Is your name pat?



I like politics and FFT

I like FFT's politics.

The Last Laugh:

This right here is strangely hypnotic. Thanks.

OK, now I'm supposed to be on vacation, it's 4 AM AND I'm sick! I feel like complete and utter garbage! On the other hand, Chrono Cross is almost out... stupid phyiscal body... must get out... wait, need hand for the controller... DOH!

Googleshng "Relaxing?"

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