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Googleshng - June 6 '00- 1:00 Eastern Daylight Time

Wow. Most of my mail today is people praising me and going on about how sick it is that I do this every day just for your benefit. Then another disturbingly large portion is anti-Brad stuff. Although, I got my usual load of letters today (which is 5 times what I had yesterday) so there's still plenty to do a column with. On another note, I was just looking at Silkenray's white board. Watching someone draw something much better than you could ever hope to do in under 5 minutes is somewhat depressing actually... and I come from a family of artists too, so there's an insult and injury deal going on. Anyway though, on with the column!

P.S. Yes, I DID get the single flame I was expecting. Some people, really.

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RPG Maker
You'd like more questions. Here's one for ya':

As far as my knowledge is on the subject (but don't bite my head off if I'm off a bit), Agetec is picking up Rpgmaker from ASCII and bringing it over here (something long, long, long overdue imo). However, I haven't been able to find any release dates for it from any sites that are more specific than "during the summer." Well, I've been taking a look at my calender lately, and it seems that it is indeed summer. When will Agetec be updating their release date with something more specific, or when will some gaming sites get around to updating it if Agetec has already done so?


Well, RPG Maker is just one of those games that are lost in limbo. It happens sometimes. Maybe you won't see it for a few years, maybe you might never see it, maybe it will be out next month. Nobody can really say. I can't see why you care though. I mean, you'd have to enter the text with the controller, and there's extreme limitations on what you can do. Not to mention it's hard on the memory cards.

I wanna be a rabite!
Meep! Or hi, whatever.

How come I'm the only person who appears to be remotely interested in Legend of Mana? I realize that it may not be the next overhyped Final Fantasy, but by god, this is a game with a worthy lineage. And it arrives today!

So are you going to get it? And how do you feel about the whole landmaking system as opposed to a static world like most traditional RPG's? And lastly, is the Chrono Cross demo cd going to be included like with the Japanese version of Legend of Mana?


Well, Legend of Mana is out, wow, today! However I'm broke. On the other hand, I THINK RPGamer checks come today. Plus this Friday is my birthday. Uh-oh. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. Heh. Save all the birthday stuff for Thursday's column. I'd prefer actual letters tomorrow. 8) Anyway, back to your question, I really haven't heard all that much about it, but what I have heard is pretty darn cool. I'll be sure to give you all some first impression type stuff once I have it, OK?

Well look who it is.
SF2 spoilers, wait, is that possible?

Dear Googleshng,
You have no questions? Hah! I'VE got one for you. How do you get past the Battle of South Moundtop in 1305? The armies of Sargon and Moi and the like are no problem, but the Steel Units are invincible! They roll through my waves of armies without a care in the world and take my base. I can't hold out until the eighth turn because they have at least twice the hit points, double the weapon strength and they get to go first! I really don't like this game at all, but I won't sell it until I beat it and it is killing me! Help!

Max Sterling (

OK, first of all, let me just say that you posting that big huge FM3 spoiler at the end was a nasty thing to do. I haven't played the Alisa storyline yet. Anyway, yes, you are at one of the two practically impossible fights at the end of the game. Here's what you have to do: While simultaniously killing everything but your little steel friends, you have 3 turns to position your troops in such a way that the folowing works: The steel soldiers can only move one space because you're in the way, fight you, you just defend so nobody dies, you get pushed back a space, you sit there, back a space so they can only more 1 again, repeat until you win the fight the time way, JUST before they reach your base. Also, if you slip up, it IS just BARELY possible to win a fight against the steel troops. With archers obviously, if you correctly guess which guy everyone wil attack, have him defend, and have everyone else go all out on someone, not only can you do more damage and therefore "win" but it's actually possible to kill ONE steel troop. Not that it really helps you to do so.

Heeeeeey! Googleshng! The Googlenator! Googapalooza! Goodygoodygoogleisous!
Enough of that... ahem. I actually DO have a question which I pray you will answer. Actually, two questions, but whateva, eh? Both are on FFV.

I better get to the point.

Question #1: I'm trying to get Blue Magic in World One. I understand the Job crap and stuff, so it has nothing to do with that. I went back to the Library of Ancients to get L5 Doom. I used Control on Page 64 (the enemy) and tried to cast it on a party member. The frickin' arrow wouldn't move! And when he cast it on his own on my party, nothing happened and the Blue Mage learned diddlysquat! So, my question is, how can I get L5 Doom if your Blue Mage can't die while experiencing it, but must die to learn it? Is there another enemy that casts it?

Question #2: I'm fighting the Titan at the Meteor (Karnak, I think) and he whoops my sorry butt with Earth Shaker. My HP was full (like, 650) and I still got walloped. How can I prevent the whoopbuttinization?

All answers are appreciated, Googs.

---SPEKTRE--- "He he...Butz."

OK, control isn't really nessessary to get L5 Death. Those little freaks cast it on their own. Anyway, in order to learn it, not only must it be cast on you, but you have to be killed by it, and I'm pretty sure you have to be brought back to life before the fight ends, although I honestly never checked if it works while dead. GREAT spell. As for Titan, check the FF5 FAQ.

Good Year
Hey Goog, remember last year when they were like "Oh, yeah, 1999 is the year of the RPG!"? Well, I have to differ... these are all the RPGs that I can think of off of the TOP OF MY HEAD that are coming out this year...

Crono Cross
Lunar 2
Final Fantasy IX
Threads of Fate (Dewprism)
Legend of Mana
Dragon Warrior VII (?)
Dragon Warrior I & II
Vagrant Story

I mean, and I can only think of PSX and GBC games because that's all I care about... and it isn't like last year where there were many RPGs, but some of them weren't all THAT good... (the only ones worth mentioning today, really, are FFVIII and Lunar). Anyway, I know this list is incomplete... and I've included a large trout with my letter to use in a smacking motion on the head of anyone who flames you because I forgot something... tell them that "I'm sure I forgot something, so get over it, OK, fanboy?! (In other words: if you have something to say about it, BE NICE!)"

Anyway, do you agree? Is this the TRUE "year of the RPG?" Or perhaps, maybe 2001 will have even more... heaven forbid! I'll be playing THESE games three years from now. >_<:


You make a very good point there. I notice amoung other things though that you left out Koudelka. Me want very badly.

Beautiful Writing
Oh great Googleshng from the land of Gramblebang,

So how does the magic system in Final Fantasy 20 work? Anyway, who comes up with the storys for RPG's. I mean they can be so complex.(I.E. Xenogears, Vargrant Story and the Final Fantasy Seris) The storys are better than most movies and books. Also how long does it take to write the story? On an unrelated note, do you know of any other Xenogears games planned for the future?


Well, the developers have writers working for them. If you really want the specific writer for any given game, it's right there in the credits. It is odd come to think of it how the writers from games never seem to get any credit. The names of composers are dropped all the time, but I've never met anyone who had the name of the name of the writer for Xenogears memorized. Translators don't get much recognition either. As for a Xenogears 2, well, that team left Square, but they ARE working on what looks like a sequel, at least in spirit, from the development name (Project X).


google, i love you no matter what sex you are


A- That's just disturbing.


you are my queen, or king depending on your sex...........


B- This one is from the same person.

Dear Google-hymer,
I know you get this asked a lot, but how did you get the job as the Q & A person? I'm really curious. Is it magic? Did you apply? Did an angle happen upon you? Or is it that seductive little slime body of yours?

Well, Brad e-mailed me asking if I wanted to take over Q&A, and I replied yes.

Which came first, the game or the gamer? If not for the game, would there be a gamer? Yet, who played the first game?

Mouse of Glen x()~

Paradox! ARGH! You're the guy who made my head hot! Well I won't let you make my friends' heads hot!

Hey Googleshng,
Were you serious about your offer to forward your entire mailbox to anyone that asked? If so I would like to take you up on that.

Actually, a couple people seriously asked me for it, but it's 4 AM, I'm tired, and in retrospect, forwarding you 20 letters that all say the exact same thing would be kinda mean.

Well... I feel that this is somewhat demeaning, still, the question must be posed: squirtle squirtle, squirt, squirtle squirt?
While we're at it, Why Does the Sun Shine?

"'scuse me... are those breasts?"

Bulbasaur bulba bulb... [Translation: The sun is a mass of incandescent gas, a gigantic nuclear furnace...]

The Last Laugh:

DancingMadKefka sent in this:

Spiffy. Also, I've been looking for the funny little thing C.C. sent me... just found it. There's a couple good letters here I'll have to reply to if I have time. Someone send me a huge mpg. Don't do that, I don't have the bandwidth. I'm too tired to say anything else.

Googleshng "Tired"
Too many declarations of love in my box today.

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