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Googleshng - May 29 '00- 5:30 Eastern Daylight Time

This is what people thing of when they thing of beatiful inspiring settings. The sun is rising over the ocean, which I have a clear view of from my sky light, and I'm surrounded by chirping birds sitting on branchs covered with bright green leaves. Sitting here, I can't help but wonder where that idea comes from. The sun is coming right in here very brightly, the birds are giving me a headache, and the cool gentle breeze is making it really cold in here. All this means to me is that I can forget about getting any sleep, I'm up for 36 hours. Now, why is this considered inspiring? Oh right, morning people. Dagnabit, why do morning people rule the world? Forcing people to go to school before the sun comes out and everything... oh right. They get up earlier so they can assume control while the rest of us are still sleeping. That doesn't seem fair. All night people can do to get back at morning people is uh... kill them in their sleep? No wait, that goes both ways, oh yeah! Party! Wait, I can't party I have no life. Doh.

Anyway... perhaps you wonder why I'm up late enough to be bothered by the sun. Well, the answer is, I care about you all that much! No, I'm not kidding. That's why. Brad's cure little joke completely killed my letter supply. I'm going to have to have talk to him about that. Anyway, there's not enough here for a column. I was tempted to just say that and be done with it, but I couldn't stand the though of that because I kind of left you all out in the cold last week. So I was up all night worrying and looking for stuff I could print in the trash and stuff. Hopefully it'll be enough for a halfway decent column. Don't say I never did you any favors. 8)

I should try to get Brad to try a prank like "You should all send Google legitimate questions tomorrow. Hehehe."

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First, an answer.
hey, goog! You have no idea how groovy I thought it was that someone is playing my favorite RPG, Terranigma! Anyway, he's stuck at a long and sticky part of the game. Well, I'll give it my best shot.

I assume you're in Louran and it's already turned into a zombie town. If it hasn't, go to the house behind Tamjin's; this is Meilin's house. Oh, before you do that, make sure you talk to that guy who says he's going to build a door in the back of his house, and remember what he says. Anyway, you have to crawl through the chimney in her house to get to Meilin's room. After that, sleep at the inn. When you wake up, the town is zombified! Scary. Make sure you've got transparencies enabled if it's a ROM, or you won't be able to see outside at all because of the blowing sand. Anyway. Go to the back of the inn and jump down the hole; you'll be in Tamjin's basement. Go to Meilin's house and go to her room -- it's hard to spot, but you'll find the item Red Scarf on the floor in her room. You NEED THIS. Anyway. Having gotten it... Go out the front of Temjin's house and go to the main square.

Take the southwest exit. In the first house, you'll find a magirock! Whoopee. So. Take the side alley between the magirock house and a wall, heading north. Go into the next house you find and go through until you're outside again, then go south and go into another house, where you should go into the chimney and then down the stairs, where you'll find a bed to rest in and that Hedyn guy. When you're healthy, you can leave and go back up through the chimney. Go to the room to the east, and jump into the hole in the floor. You'll find the Holy Seal, which you should equip, otherwise the ghosts will get you (you can't fight them). Go left and get back to the main square. Once you're there again, go to the northeast exit and follow the path to the dead end, and go into the house, and you'll find the Light Rod. Then go back to the main square again and go to the northwest exit. Remember that guy who said he was gonna build a door in the back of his house? He did. You can see zombies going into it when you first enter the area. Follow them in, avoid the flying tables, and go through the house until you're back outside. Go north; you'll find a house where you can get gems in a box. In this area there are a few other useful items hidden too. (Like a Str Potion, so search the houses.) Anyway, go north past the gem house, through the gap in the stone wall, then go south through another gap. Don't miss the potion!

Anyway, once you're done looting, go to the southeast corner of the area. There will be a gap and you can go to another area. This is the cemetary. In the northwest corner you can find 500 gems on a grave if you told that guy to take his money to his grave earlier. On the east side of the cemetary you'll find Meilin's dog Turbo. Have him sniff her Red Scarf (equip it) and he'll lead you to her; inside the house Turbo enters, go downstairs and down the corridor all the way to the left, then crawl under the table, and you'll find her inside of the shaky statue there. After which some plot stuff happens. Be prepared for Meilin to become a big annoying pest for the rest of the game.

Whew. That's one of the most mazy parts of the game. Good luck. ^_^
Everyone who hasn't played this game, go read my editorial on it! It's in the RPGamer archives someplace.

--kris wolfe
PS>> brad, I don't think being a "real gamer" makes you want to play harder games. :-

I would have put a spoiler warning on that but I'm up way too late, plus I dobt anyone would bother reading all that unless they really cared. Thanks for sending that it, but that's like a quarter of a walkthrough. 8)

OK, this is an editorial.
Xenogears Spoilers

Hey Googleshng/Gramblebang/whatever they're calling you today,

I came up with an interesting thought a while ago, and I know I'm probably missing something so I just wanted to share it with you and the readers. In Xenogears, if Grahf never went to Lahan, killed Timothy/Alice/half the townsfolk and had Id awaken, yada, yada, tormented Fei, and so forth, Fei would have never left Lahan, or become half as powerful as he does. So if he never left Lahan, no one would have stopped Solaris and Krelian/Miang would have ultimately succeeded in turning everybody into Wels and making Deus their god. Right? Cause everybody that went up against Solaris in the first place was influenced by Fei... I think. Thus, ultimately making Grahf the "good guy", right? Anyway, I'm pretty sure I'm wrong so could you clarify this for me? Oh yeah, a long time ago Brad said that he assumed Grahf took control of Wisman/Kahn right before the confrontation at the Zohar power modifier. But... I'm pretty sure that Grahf had been controlling Kahn since he went after him after he left Fei at Lahan. Because when you enter Zeboim, it switches to a view of Grahf in his gear (some version of Weltall I think) and Miang appears on the comlink and tells Grahf to prevent Id from taking back the Nano-colony or something to that extent I believe. And when wiseman grabs him, Id says "It's a bit early isn't it? Oh, it must be that woman..." And a while ago somebody asked who saves Elly in Nortune when the Hecht crashes and there's a big explosion. I'm not sure if Brad answered that but if he didn't I'm answering anyway. I think that was either Grahf or Wiseman because at that point they are both Lacan and don't want her to die the exact same way for the fifth time. And because of the shape of the gear's arms. The forearms look exactly like those on Wiseman's and Grahf's gear. And earlier, I asked how Rico could have left the capital with his bomb collar on and you said they removed the bomb when he became the Champ. But wouldn't they put the bomb back in when they found him guilty of attempthing to assassinate the Kaiser? Cause the battle arena is still in the movement area so they could still execute him and prevent escape, right? Anyway, that's all i can come up with right now. So, later.

P.S. Oh yeah, did you know that the Id is the division of the psyche associated with the instinctual impulses and the satisfaction of primitive needs?

This isn't a letter, it's an editorial. If you ever go to send me something like this from now on, and notice it's like this, change the mailto and send it to eds. I'm printing it anyway though since there's not much else lying around. Also, there's some big innacuracies in there that I'm too tired to correct, but I like the overall message. Nobdy in Xenogears is really evil, they just have different weapons. Grahf just wants to make Fei quit being such a wimp. Think of him like Proto Man or Racer X!

Remember the lost woods?
Dearest Gramblebang,
I hope you can answer my question. You see, I beat that dragon in the forest, and now I have no clue where to go next. I've been wondering around there for an hour, and I can't seem to get anywhere. I'm using the in game map, and I've tried going all different ways but to no avail. I don't recall a door that needs the Bronze Key that you get from the Dragon, so I really am screwed here. I'd hate to go pay 15 bones for the guide just to get past this part, so I would really appreciate if you could help me out.


P.S. If the answer was right under my nose, I will promptly shoot myself.

The map doesn't really do you much good because it only occasionally depicts what any given path will lead to. My suggestion if you're the mapping sort is to cop that map down and cover it with arrows leading to where things REALLY take you. Anyway though, first you go to the southernmost point. There's a save point, a big long ditch with a moving platform, and a treasure chest. Leave on the side with the chest. Fron there I THINK you go North, East, North, or something fairly close to that, and you get to a really nasty boss fight. I found this after several solid hours of wandering then promptly died because my rish was way up and my MP was way down. Haven't had time to play since. By the way, you can find out which way north is by looking at the moss on the trees. That's just plain cool.

Hey there Gramblebang...Grumbleshag...uh, whatever it is we're supposed to call you...

Since this is a question and answers column, I have a question and hopefully you will have an answer. Anyway, I got a few hours into Persona before the lame town map and lousy first-person dungeons finally drove me crazy. Still, though, the story seemed very interesting and I think I'd really like to give it another shot.

Which brings me to the question -- have you ever been unable to stomach finishing an RPG you REALLY wanted to finish?

Persona is on the very short list of RPGs with which I was too disgusted to finish. As for just wanting to get games over with though, I'm well aware of the problem. Grandia just disgusted me by the end by how easy it was and I wanted to get it over with. Whoever on staff wins VS first reviews it, so I'm under pressure to do that too, but I doubt I'll win it any time soon on my schedule. That answer your question?

Haven't seen too many numbered lists around, so...

1. I love Neon Genesis Evangelion.
2. This is just wrong, just so very, very wrong...
3. Nobody said anything about Wild ARMs 2, so I'll be the first to say this:
this battle graphics still look the same. Even those orange wolf-dog-thingys look the same.
4. I also love Mobile Suit Z Gundam. Still not translated to English though...
5. Fox and Escaflowne? Cartoon Network and Tenchi Muyo? PBS and Eva??
6. I really find ToastyFrog funny. Is something wrong with me?
7. I think I'm possibly 1 of the only 5 people in North America who ever played DragonQuest V. I liked it a lot. By the way, I trained a Level-30 Slime who deals more damage than the main character. I think.
8. Last but certainly not least, this is the sickest and possibly funniest video game screenshot I've ever seen...
Yeah, that's right, get your thoughts into that Freudian gutter.

Now, for some obscure (and other less obscure) game quotes (stolen from Zany Video Game Quotes):

1. Hey! Did you people just come out of the closet?
2. I am a farmer.
3. You're gonna catch holy hell!
4. Let's just fire like crazy and make a big hole, BOOM!
5. It's charged by Speed value in one clock.
6. Japan would never start a war.

And now, a real question:

I'm in a dilemma. Xenogears or Front Mission 3? I only have time for one of them. At best. And then there's Vagrant Story...I'm playing Super Robot Wars F Final right now, and it's really really fun (imagine controlling all the major robots from the entire Gundam series (yes, even Wing) AND all three Evangelions! Plus, every time you attack, you hear a battle cry from the ORIGINAL voice actors! *ahem* anyway, gotta get back to my... Taylor's Formula Calculus Project(!!)...

- Amk

"...within the closed interval [a,b], (consciousness slipping) with (n+1) derivatives for all values (please, stop...) within (a,x), f(x) = f(a) + (f'(a)/1!)(x-a) + (f''(a)/2!)(x-a)^2 + (no mas...Zankoku na tenshi no thesis?) ... + (f(n')(a)/n!)(x-a)^n + (f(n+1')(z)/n!)(x-a)^(n+1)...( me...James Joyce...)"

As one incoherent to another, let me just say I came away from your letter with very little. First off, I assume you're kidding about Eva on PBS, but that's actually more believable than the other two in terms of censorship. PBS is surprisingly laid back. Also, is that a PS1 quote in there? I know people who kill farmers. Meanies! Anyway, that depends. Do you want the best story I've ever seen with sleak fast mecha, or tactical combat with big clunky mecha? Both good games. Also, do you mean THE Robo War? I was REALLY into that at one point, but I still can't make one to beat B-Ko. That is one FRIGHTENING bot!

Vagrant Comments
Yeah, the "I am the reinforcements" was a good quote.
I especially liked the "I do not feel I'm welcome here." quote as well >:)
And please shoot me, I didn't start tailoring my weapons to enemy types until the snowfly forest, so as a result... I beat the Earth Dragon, but with much gnashing of teeth and a Phantom Pain or two. That is one fun Chain Art :)
But I hope I'm not the only one who recognized the Shakespeare allusions... Jan Rosencrantz and Romeo Guildenstern? Now, I've only covered about 30% of the map, but I'm going to guess that they'll be killed by the end of the game... otherwise, we wouldn't be able to say that Rosencrantz and Guildensern are dead, would we? >:) But seriously, Vagrant Story is a truly awesome game. Although I don't quite know where the five hour figure came from... I'd estimate that it's going to take me a total of about 30, considering that at 10 hours I've completed, like I said, roughly 30% of the map.

Coincidentally, someone just told me would Phantom Pain does. That's Ubercheap. If I'm going to review this game though, I think I'll have to resort to it.


I just wanted to say hi, and I think that this week's quote comes from Albert Odyssey for the Saturn. Am I right?


I didn't set that quote, and I have no clue who did. It's a very generic WD type thing though, so here you go. ~

Sup? I was just wondering where the hell the first shop with ninja swords is so I can take Equip Sword off my ninja.

You didn't specify a game. Assuming you meant FFT, I think it's in chapter 2.

Hey Gramblebang,

Psst... to get revenge on Brad make everyone call him The Boracle on Thursday! Hehehe!


So you go along with the prank and want me to get revenge for it? Plus that's a lousy nickname for him. I could think of better, but I'm above name calling. 8)


I don't think Brad actually has a girlfriend. I think "Heather" is actually his computer or a blow up doll. What do you think?

I think Brad brought Heather along to E3. That kinda blows your theory.

Hey there GOOGLESHNG how's it going? Yeah that should get my letter printed. you know anything about when Suikoden III will be released? Thanks. -Jeffypop

No date has been given. Any date you find would just be a total stab in the dark. So... how does October 2001 sound to you? That's just off the top of my head. 8)

I just found the TRANSFORMERS movie and its bad ass! I think Rodmus Prime is gay as hell, Optimus is the man.

Quickie Master - Inkado

While it's cool that you saw and liked The Movie... Rodimus?!? Oh wait, sorry, I thought you said you liked him for a sec. Yes, Optimus Prime is far superior, that's why later he came back from the dead and ripped the matrix back out of Roddy's chest.

Felicity. 8 bots (sims, whatever). Pistols. One-hit kills. Slo-mo movement. 7 minutes. Need I say more? ~Antestarr

Try that without the slowmo and with nothing but laptop guns and king of the hill. Scoring is impossible.

The Last Laugh:

There it is. A full column up on time despite the fact that most of you decided to go along with Brad's little prank than send real letters. I wouldn't mind if you'd done both. Anyway, my eyes aren't focusing, I feel very cool, and there's pain in all my joints. All nighters suck. Oh and for the record I didn't manage to take this weekend off like I planned. Wah. At least this week should be a good one now.

Googleshng "No sleep"
You DO appreciate me pulling an all nighter so you'd have something to read, right?

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