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Laguna Matata
Googleshng - November 24 '99- 1:30 Eastern Standard Time

I made a tiny little oversight and 50 people jumped down my throat. While I'm glad you're all so vigillent, in the future, could you please make a little division between correcting a hideous mistake of mine and asking a new question? That would be perfect.

While I'm at it, I think I'll list some basic dos and don'ts for getting letters printed.

  • DO: Keep questions down to modest paragraphs, around the length of most of what I print. I have some most unfond memories of the editorialetter era you see.
  • DON'T: Suck up for more than 1 paragraph tops. I appreciate the praise, but I don't think readers want to sift through it.
  • DO: Sneak in weird references to Weird Al, Transformers, TMBG, Pirates of Darkwater, etc. It will earn you some extra respect points.
  • DON'T: Send multiple letters. This one is a long time tradition for the column. Multipart questions are fine, and heck, I like them, and resending something if you think that there's an error is OK, but just bombarding me is in bad taste.
  • DO: Send me really really amusing pictures. I plan to print them all, but I'm spacing them out. I still have this funky Alf thing that I'm saving for a lull.
  • DON'T: Send me gameplay questions. My general policy is to answer them personally if I know the answer, but if you really need to know, RPGamer's walkthroughs will be a LOT more helpful than I will.

OK, that should cover it. Anyway, here we go! WARNING: The first letter here has MAJOR FF8 spoilers! If you haven't won, just scroll past!

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I know you're going to get a flood of e-mail on this one, but I figured since you just updated, you may stay up long enough to read this one, which will hopefully be one of the first.

The evidence is rather overwhelming that Squall is indeed Laguna's son. Aside from the comments stated yesterday by Temjirim, there are the following clues.

Squalls blood tastes the same as Laguna's to the Moombas. This is shown by the fact that all the Moombas in the Galbadia Desert Prison think that he's Laguna, and after that, you can view a section in the Information tutorial that states that Moombas recognize people by tasting their blood. That would be heredity at work.

Second, it's stated in the game that Raine had a child after Laguna left to go rescue Ellone from Esthar. It's also known that Raine died soon after Laguna left (I believe it's said to be a year or so). So that child would effectively be an orphan, with Laguna ending up staying to be the president of Esthar.

Third, just think of the dramatics involved with the children of two people who were cruelly torn apart by fate ending up falling in love. Rinoa, being Julia Hartilly's daughter, and Squall, being Laguna's son, are able to fulfill the relationship that Julia and Laguna were never able to have. This goes perfectly with FF8's theme being "Love".

A weaker argument here is that all of the main party members' cards are held by their parents, when such a parent exists in the game. The only problem with that theory is it opens up the can of worms that is "Hey, what about the fact that Cid has Seifer's card?" which I think is on incredibly shaky ground, considering that is the only piece of evidence towards that conclusion in the game (but I digress).

I'm not so sure about the figures you used to say that Squall would have been 8 when Raine and Squall met. Could you elaborate any?


OK, simply put, I was pretty sure I read in FF8 that all the stuff with Laguna Raine Adel and so on had happened 10 years ago. As it turns out, it was actually 17 years ago, and that pretty much fits in with everything else. I literally got about 50 of these, so I pretty much printed this at random.

MORE Personal questions?
A few questions my good ma...woma...mimic.

1.) Do you know of any upcoming rpg's that will feature multiple battle engines(a la Xenogears mech and human)

Sadly no. Although I HAVE been hearing more and more rumors of a Xenogears 2, I haven't seen anything offical yet.

2.) Do you think that having GOOD voice actors for a game is needed in movie cuts(FF7*8 movie scenes felt a little hollow to me)

Yes, the quality of the FMV makes the lack of speech seem somewhat odd. What I'd really love is Japanese speech with subtitles. I mean, Japan has GOOD voice actors!

3.)Do you have any stroyline pet peeves. I personally hate it when after beating what seems to be the boss, the real leader appears out of nowhere, with no reference or foreshadowing to announce himself(Tales of Destiny did this and it really pissed me off).

Well, I tend to play games with some really weird plots so I don't have many complaints. The boss out of nowhere phenominon does suck. Really I care more about bad motivations. I mean, really what IS the appeal of destroying the world? Oh, this reminds me. I need a policy on language, don't I? How about this? I'll replace all occurances of the S word or F word I come across with Smurf. Better yet, don't use them at all. Keep it down to Smurf, Tanj, Carp, Bleep, Censor, Flup and other such things. 8)

4.) Are you a fighting game fan, and if so do you think Capcom should make a Street Fighter RPG so Ryu can finally find what he's looking for and stop roaming the Earth?

FF5 rocks by the way

-The Dancing Knight

I've never been too big on Fighters. Bloody Roar and Soul Calibur are pretty cool, and I don't count the Bushido Blades as Fighting, but they're great.

I like Pizza Steve
I think you should have a word with Brad... After all his Jedi Mind Tricks when I played FF3 over (on my snes.. the way it was meant to be played) I named everyone Steve... Now I'm having a horrible time trying to figure out who's saying what... Oh man, I'm confused... I think I need to curl up into a fetal position and cry......
-- Thalados

That's pretty amusing Steve. I like playing Chrono Trigger and naming everyone their real names. Nadia, R66-Y, Janus, Glenn, etc.

Here's some sillyness
8 twin brothers that are completely identical in every way are put in one room together to fight to the death. each of them is given only one item. these are: a grapefruit, a Jigglypuff pokemon card, an empty box of crayons, a broken rubber band, 1 inch of duct tape, a mood ring, a spork, and a tire gauge. who wins?


I don't see how you could have 8 twin brothers, but all things being equal, the spork is clearly the best weapon. It can stab AND scoop! Truly it is one of the greatest inventions of our time.

One word spelled L-I-T-E!
Come on and wreck my car! They Might Be Giants fan? You're kidding me, right? In my experience, no one's even heard of them! I own all the albums, I think, and I'm working on singles. Don't look at me like that. It's my brother; HE has a job, HE has money, he has an ebay account, etc.
Um, what else was I going to say?
"Temple" means shrine. It's also the upper part of the face.
That good enough?

TMBG are great. You know, Brad liked them too. I still love Mammal. So the warm blood flows, with the red blood cells, lacking nuclei to the large 4-chambered heart... maintaining the ve-ry high metabolism rate they have!

Is it a rule to only answer certain questions from letters? Are Q&A guys REQUIRED to purposely not answer some questions? I say this because on the 23rd, someone e-mailed you, asking you a particularly non-RPG-related question (about PokˇBaal) and then a REAL RPG question, and you ignored the RPG question completely. I hope you can explain yourself well; otherwise, I'll be forced to beat you to a bloody pulp with a rusty carving knife.


Sorry, I got distracted going on about Baal. I seem to recall that the other question was about how many endings Chrono Trigger has. Well, I seem to recall the official number is 17, but it fluctuates depending on how you count the minor variants of the main ending.



I'm not your mom! Really!

When you say you want a Lefty plushy, are you referring to Lefty from Parasyte, the cutest killer hand-stealing alien left hand of all time? ^_^

: Xelloss-kun

I sure am! He's just so cute when he's decapitating hideous monsters. ^_^


I'm flattered, ya know?

Osiris is a black god!
23 Skidoo
Heute die Welt Morgens das Sonnensystem.
Great book. I never would have thought that a Q&A host would have read it, though.
Hail Eris,

and colon semicolon too!

I am very touchy on this subject...
~Janus 0f Zeal

Don't make me start calling people Steve.

What's the good word little buddy?


The Last Laugh:

Well, that's about all. I had a hard time finding the real stuff in all the corrections. Anyway, I'm going to keep my closing short so that I can post a very cool little animated gif someone sent me. Here it is:

Googleshng "I seriously a Lefty plush doll! Do they make them?"
Ba weep grah nah weep ninibam!

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