Ask Google
In the PSX:
AC too fun.
In the Genesis:
Shining Force
AC too fun.
In the Gameboy:
My cousin's copy of Pokemon
In the SNES:
AC too fun.
In the SMS:
Phantasy Star
In the NES:
AC too fun.
In the Saturn:
No games yet
In the N64:
AC too fun.
In the Dreamcast:
Soul Calibur
This victory strengthens the soul of... Sid Meier!
Googleshng - February 29 '00- 1:30 Eastern Standard Time

I just had the delightful experience of inflicting my wrath upon a mob screaming for my death. Good times were had by all. No, I'm not being sarcastic! It's true! I guess you had to be there. Anyway, a couple people asked where the link to the release dates are. Well, I DID just link to it in yesterday's column, but the standard way to get there is through the news link in the big navigational thing up top.

By the way, this is the kind of day that only happens once every 200 years. For those of you who don't care, there's a leap year every 4 years, except for every 20 years, except for every 200 years. Unless I scrwed those up because I'm tired. Well, who cares, let's get going.

Oh yeah, the reason I was asking about Fox Trot yesterday is that someone was telling me about the plot thread of the last couple weeks which is so similar to the long plot thread I ended in my cheesy little comic strip a couple months ago. So I spontaniously put a rant up. Anyway, this morning a bunch of people sent me links to online comic archives, but the best one is definately this. Updated daily, and it's all in color some how. So, I saw the strips in question, funny.

Hate Wheelie?

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What's with all the poetry lately?
Dearest Googleshng:

Enclosed is a sonnet for you.

O, slime of mine, who in the morning dawn
illuminates itself with paleish gold.
Do you, like salmon, frolic home to spawn,
or do you flicker, fade, and turn so cold?

How you can live, my friend, I'll never know.
You seem to have no lungs... how can you breathe?
Do you, like seeds, stay warm beneath the snow,
Or do your spells provide some cold relief?

My Googleshng, I wonder how you are
so loved, so hated, by admirers who
do naught but sit and worship from afar,
the firm, proud god that we may call the Goog?

Until this moment, no-one understood
The purity of you, the love, the good!

Silkenray The Goddess of Poetry?

I have a program called Shakespeare in a Toaster that randomly generates sonnets. It's probably old enough to have been made into a Java applet on a page somewhere.

Old Stuff
Hey Google,
You know what would be pretty useful for your column? A search engine!
No... wait... where are you going?
Hang on, just listen. I don't know how complicated one of these things could be, but there are all those people who ask the same things that you might have answered before (like, what does fithos lusec wecos vinosec mean, etc.), and if you had a search engine through the archives, people could type in keywords and see if their questions have been previously answered.

Interesting concept, I guess it wouldn't be too hard to write a little script in say, Perl or Java to look for certain words in old Q&As, if anyone's REALLY bored, go ahead and make one, I'll post it.

Sound Tracks
'sup goog,

I don't know why I'm writing in response to xenochick's question, I'm sure you'll get a kadjillion letters, but I feel compelled. There's two xenogears CDs that you can get, the original sound version and then the arranged album, Creid (I assume she means the OSV when she says 'instrumental'?). Both kick ass. Both are available at There's also a book of arranged piano music, but unlike the final fantasy piano arrangements, it isn't accompanied by a CD. At least not that I know of. As for finding the xenogears perfect works book on ebay, dude, only go there if you're willing to pay upwards of 180 smackers. Damn scalpers.


There you have it.

Title Quote
Magic Knight Rayearth! Even I know that (well, I do have all 5 volumes of the 1st series, and all of the manga in 2 1/2 years worth of MixxZine...) But WHY is Presea spelled "Precia" and Cephiro spelled "Cephero?" Is this how they're spelled in the Sega Saturn game? Geeeeez! I thought that Mixx naming Caledina "Guardina" and a fansub calling Ferio "Phellio" was STUPID, but...? Believe me, if ya don't have any rabid MKR fans down your throat now, you're gonna have them. Ribby ~@-@~

Well sorry, I was going from memory. Anyway, here's your tilde: ~

Shining Force
Hey Googleshng,

I remember you saying a few weeks back that Anri ruled. Um, excuse me, but when does she start ruling? She never stays alive long enough for me to level her up. Am I doing something wrong? Oh yeah, Domingo rules, after you level him up some. High HP and defense...a very nice combination!!


While it's true that when you first get Anri she dies if you look at her funny and it takes a while before she learns her first multitarget spell, it takes surprisingly little character building before her defense goes through the roof. That combined with all the many ways in which mages are unbelievably degenerate in that game makes her a tank if you actually give her a chance. Plus she gets a solid black cloak and a floating staff when you promote her! 8)

Number 1134 of the Q&A Host Collective: Googleshng,
Have you noticed that readers of RPGamer's Q&A column seem to be much more interested in asking questions about the Q&A columnists rather than about RPGs?
I've noticed this due to the fact that I've been on vacation in Florida for the past week without Internet access, and have spent the last few hours wading through all the columns I missed while I was away. The first thing I noticed was that Paws got at least 3 notes per column asking, "What do you think of SaGa Frontier 2?" In fact, most letters since Thor's demise (and possibly before, my memory's not too good) have been mostly "What do you think of [Blarg]? If you had to choose between [Blarg], [Sexypants] and [Crabbit], which would you choose? Are you male or female?" I guess the 10 or 20 magazines written by people who get paid to do nothing but review games isn't enough; the only reliable source is a hermaphroditic slime or an anthropomorphic kitty cat.
I know this little ramble sounds cynical, but I'm not really complaining (much). RPGamer's Q&A still offers a service by telling readers what to expect from games, and there is the occasional tidbit about name origins and where to find so- and-so, but I kind of miss having someone around who you can ask something and be assured they'll do their best to research it, rather than say "Ask Mark" or "Ask the Readers". I guess all I'm trying to say is, Q&A is no longer about Q&A, it's about weird crackless women, and anybody who thinks otherwise is missing the point.
Don't worry too much about it, though... I just felt like bringing it up.
(On a side note, I have noticed that this sort of thing has been clearing up a lot lately, so I'll probably get flamed just because of the bad timing for writing this.)

Brentai the Hentai

You realize of course that you're writing this letter adds to the very problem it complains about. Anyway, you have a fairly interesting point. On the one hand, most letters I get don't seem to ask very serious questions, but on the other hand, letters past a certain ammount of seriousness aren't my department. If you're stuck in a game, that's what the walkthroughs are for. If you want to know about an upcoming game, that's what news and new media are for. Broken link? The webmaster mailto. Really the only questions I should be getting are obscure trivia, like which came first? Phantasy Star or Dragon Warrior (it depends on whether you mean the US or Japan), or heck, actually Q&A IS for handling stuff like weighing the pros and cons between game A and game B. I'm just rambling, so I'll just shut up now.


Hey Google,
You wanna know a great game for the NES? It's called Dodge Ball (I think) and it's fun when you throw the ball and your opponents go flying then die and you can see them float up to heaven too!


Actually, it's called Super Dodge Ball, and you're right, it is great.

Finally, I have been waiting for 4 long years, I haven't had a birthday in so long, are u going to get me something,I am almost 5. But i am way smarter than the average 5 year old, in fact for being four i am a sophomore in college, go me, i will graduate before i turn six, but will likely die by the time i am twenty. why dont u just write a book called Ender's Shadow, andcall me Bean.

Because that would be infringing on copyrights of my 2nd favorite living author. Hey, does that mean people only give you birthday presents once every 4 years?

I simply CANNOT believe you didn't mention Thor's homepage was updated on the 26th. For shame!

Pimp-BOT 9000

You can't expect me to check if Thor updated every day, I already do that with Sharkey. Thanks for the info.

How do you clean scratches off a CD?

I treat my CDs with a degree of care that makes my friends scream and avoid used games like the plague, so it doesn't come up. They DO make cleaning kits though.

I've heard that there is going to be a Xenogears, Episode 1. Have you heard anything about this?

I've heard plenty of rumors about Square making another Xenogears game, and they left plenty of prequel potention, but they're still unsubstansiated rumors.

the mongols would hoard as much as the mongols could hoard if the mongol hoards got bored -The Pansy of Doom

So was I the only one who recognized that quote as being from Calvin and Hobbes?

Hey, post the sound file that "Amagannaganomagonammum" or whoever that was sent you. We all deserver to be just as frightened as you were! -Physikus

Oh FINE! Here.

The Last Laugh:

Well, I don't have a Cheshire Catalyst pic for you today because I assigned him to a special project for Thursday. So instead I will post this. It's one of the following: A CC pic from a day he made 2, a CC pic I already used, or, most likely, a pic by someone else who's name I have misplaced. It's funny though!

Anyway, people have been trying to convince me that Bill Amend ripped me off all night, but I just don't buy it. I mean, while he does use Macs, make references to RPGs, and plays games to the degree that he made a freeware Joust clone (it's Mac only 8P), I doubt he reads my page. Besides, he was making a Kafka refernece, and for that matter I was making a blatant Dragon Half reference. I wish he did rip me off though, that'd just be cool. 8)

Googleshng "Word In Quotes"
Alpha Centauri beckons once more.

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