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Thor Antrim - October 19 '02- After Midnight, Pacific Standard Time

What does it mean when I have to wake up at 4AM? Shoddy column, that's what!

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WELCO METOT HENEX TLEVEL

Hello saver of cities and small cupcakes

I still haven't jumped to the "next generation" systems yet, and I was wondering if I really SHOULD get a PS2. It has several cool games I know I'll like, plus the DVD factor (don't have one). But Gamecube taunts me with it's cheap price and sweet, sweet graphics. Any ideas?

- Chaz

Thor:
Chaz, I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume you like RPGs. Once we've taken that gamble, I'd have to suggest the PS2. Sony has Square -- for now, anyway -- and where Square goes, everyone follows.

Which is why you should keep your eye (just the one) on the little purple box. Once Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicle hits the GameCube, everything's gonna change. (Imagine if Square actually finished that badass N64 Final Fantasy tech demo. Yeah, it'll be like that.) Besides, Adventure games like Mario and Zelda create worlds every bit as involving as traditional RPGs. Let the new dawn of Nintendo Roleplay Bliss begin!

(Mario bribed me to say that. One smooch from the Princess and I turned to mush.)

 
Ever get the feeling that they're making it up as they go along?

Greetings Thor! It's great to see you back at RPGamer (for however long that may be). I have a smallish question: what are your general thoughts on the Final Fantasy X side story, or sequel, or whatever those crazy kids are calling it these days?

Thanks,

- Amanda

Thor:
Tough question -- I haven't had a chance to play FFX yet (or anything after FFVII. And they let me write a Q&A column!) But I'll tell you what I think of Final Fantasy side stories in general: Blarg! Humbug! What'sa matta, Square? Running out of ideas? Can your character designer only draw two people? (Nomura even admitted that the kid from Kingdom Hearts was a combination of Cloud and Squall -- that's just sick.)

Then again, I'm grumpy. Anyone who loves the game is probably estatic. If Square ever released a direct sequel to the Beast Known as Seven, I'd rent myself out to RPGirls just to afford it.

 
My Immortal Beloved

My Beloved Thor,

YaY! I am so glad you decided to guest host. Your column yesterday was the funniest in a while, I really loved the "gay sex" quote. I'm definately gonna use that. On to the questions:

Have you ever played Terranigma? It's an old enix SNES game in the same series as Soul Blazer and Illusion of Gaia, but was only released in England. However, you can get a rom of it(assuming of course you have the cart *grin*). I mean, how many other games do you influence the civilization of man from the stone age up, with Legend of Mana style game-play? It's wonderful, everyone, try it out.

Another thing to check out is Zoolander. It's one of the funniest movies I have ever seen, plus, it even has David Bowie, just like the Final Fantasy series!

Keep on workin' on the site,

- Walls

P.S. Shigeru Miyamoto really DOES look like Austin Powers... not as much as Suzuki/Gottfried tho... that's a dead ringer ^_^

Thor:
The Walls of Jericho is referring of course to Videogame Lookalikes, one of the countless features on my homepage that is guaranteed to make you laugh.*

I played Terranigma for, like, an hour. I could appreciate the whole spooky gothic overworld thing, but emulators usually give me a headache. Zoolander made me laugh, it's nice to see Will Ferrell in a bigger role. I like most surreal comedies, everything from Cabin Boy to, uh, Water Boy. And other films without boy in the title. I swear. O_o

 
Wild Farms

Well, I haven't had internet access for a few days, so I decided to check out good ol' RPGamer.com to read up on the latest videogame news and what do I see? Thor doing a Q&A column! Whoa! Good to see words like "blarg" return to the pages of RPGamer.

Oh yeah. A question. What's your opinion of the Wild Arms series. I'm thinking about getting WA3 since Goog seems to like the series so much, but there's nothing like a second opinion.

- Auspend

Thor:
I hate Wild Arms. There, I said it. It's my least favorite PlayStation RPG. And I've played Beyond the Beyond, don't think I haven't! God, where to begin. I hate the setting. If you like the wild west, go see Wild Wild West. One look at Will Smith in a cowboy hat and you'll be cured. I also detest the battle system, which was so basic you could get by just fine with auto-combat. Who needs strategy or fun when you've got a bad game that'll play itself! The characters were cool, but the dungeons were so tedious and the towns so bland, I had to take a three month break before I could force myself to finish it without vomiting on the screen.

 
Massively Multiplayer Online Role Play Game

Um, two questions for a dummy like me: What's MMORPG stand for? and Is there any information on a specific release of the PSX versions of FFI & FFII in the States? I looked on their individual pages, but to no avail... Thanks be to you. Oh, and your column is great!

Thor:
The last I heard, the FFI/FFII disc hasn't been confirmed for American release. But don't let that get your hopes down, neither was Tobal No. 2!

MMORPG stands for Massive Moogles' Online Pig Guts, a popular new Dot Com company that specializes in the wholesale distribution of pork products. I'm kidding, of course. It doesn't stand for anything.



Quickies

In the game Kingdom Hearts, I need to deliver an old book in Traverse Town and I'm completly lost. Please help.

Legend has it there are still lost souls who wander the Earth in search of game faqs. Look no further, by ghostly friend.

The recent announcement of Final Fantasy X-2 *SNIP* begs the question: if you were a shy, introverted summoner and had to pick another profession, wouldn't you also choose COWBOY?

- Zakky

ANSWER 1: See "Wild Farms" above.
ANSWER 2: Nope. I'd choose to be a professional lesbian. The pay is good, and the fringe benefits? Fringy.
ANSWER 3: What do you mean if?

Goog said that the Opening theme to Final Fantasy VIII was Fithos Lusec Wecos Vinosec. The Actual Opening theme is called Liberi Fatali, which incorporates pieces of Fithos Lusec Wecos Vinosec within in. Fithos Lusec Wecos Vinosec, however, is played during Edea's parade near the end of the first disc

ummm, hope that helps

Oh, it helped a lot, all right. It made Google cry. You people with your "corrections" and "facts"! Just leave us alone!

Thor Stuff:

Don't be sad that I'm leaving, be happy that Googleshng is coming back. If the tears won't stop a flowin', just do like Uncle Thor always does. Pop open a can of Vanilla Coke, sit back and listen to the ending theme of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Trust me, it helps.

Thor "BUNCHANUYENODDQUOTEBUNCHANUYEN" Antrim (blarg@earthlink.net)

I wonder if anyone checks this, or if I can just unleash a torrent of foul language? Let's see... Crabbit!

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