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Attack of the Giant Midget

rudyxx - July 31 2004 00:19 EDT

MUCH TO ANDREW'S DISMAY I am no where near four foot three. I am on the other hand closer to five foot six. Which for my age and gender might still be a little short but if I was a girl then it would all work out nicely.

On another note hello and welcome to all of you. As Andrew pointed out yesterday I have guest hosted several times, however I am just as lazy as Andrew and don't really feel like trying to remember when it was. In any case I hope you enjoy me either way.



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Dance! Dance you fiends!

Andrew normally writes something goofy in here but I'm not all that whitty enough to do the same.

One should not kick puppies through plate-glass

Mr. Rudy-person,

One of the games I hate is .hack, because leveling up is incredibly boring, the worlds are all the same, and Mistral's voice makes me want to kick puppies through plate-glass windows. By the time I finally got around to getting .hack//mutation, I didn't care about the story anymore...In fact, I don't. The only reason I played the freaking games is because of Balmung. ALL HAIL LORD BALMUNG!


While I'm not really sure what a Balmung is, I do agree with the leveling up in that game getting incredibly boring. The only reason I feel that leveling up in MMORPGs is fun is because of the people you play with and how silly they sometimes are. When you kind of remove that one factor of people from the game, it kind of kills the entire fun process.

Xenosaga spoilers maybe?

Hello Rudy
So you want to talk about games I truly hate...
Morrowind is a start... TERRIBLE graphics (I'm not graphic whore, but I have limits you know), extremely limited soundtrack (although whats there is really good), poor combat system and a continuous feel that this game could be so much more.
Some might say "Soul, stick with it. It get's much better" but I like I said earlier, I have limits. And so, my quest to explore Morrowind ended at EB Games where I exchanged it for one of those spiffy NES styled GBA.
I also harbor a deep hatred for Kingdom Heart. I am not one to usually fall for hype, but this one really got me back then. I was thinking "Mixing the best of Japan with the best of US, what can go wrong?" Apparently, a lot.
First I was so hyped, that I got on Ebay and ordered one of those special pre-release edition for a whooping 200$ so I could get the game 2 weeks in advance to everyone else. Then I got to play it... Bad control, exp that disapear if you don't pick it up, STUPID AI for party members and an overall stupid story that leads nowhere. I'll get lot's of heat what I just said, but it's my opinion and that's all.
Theres a bunch of other games I hate, but they are not RPG... so out of subject.
Well, that was fun. I guess an RPG question would be called for.
In Xenosaga, what hapenned in Miltia that made Virgil eat Realian's flesh? If I understand what DME addict is, that is.
Thank you for your time.

Once again, games that play like MMORPGs but seem to like the MMO part are really boring to begin with in my book. Add the fact that maps are too giant to being with and I get lost really easily and you've got one really bad game.
I'm not really sure why people seem to hate kingdom hearts for slightly broken reasons. The entire exp dissapearing if you don't pick it up is kind of a sad reason to not like a game. Donald and Goofy always seemed to do exactly what I wanted them to do (which was pretty much them stand there and not doing anything but take damage for me) doesn't seem like bad AI at all to me. I'm really not sure how you get bad control out of the game either. You press a direction and he moves in the direction. You hit the attack button a whole bunch, jump around with the jump button, and that's pretty much all there is to that. I played the game on expert mode my first time through and I don't think I ever really made use of the magic system till way later in the game. Also I'm guessing you never made it past Alice in Wonderland if you say the story never went anywhere. Because I sure as anything remember there being a lot of crazy plot twists and really dark stuff going on in there.
They never say why exactly Virgil has an addiction to Realian's flesh in the first game other than somewhere in there he had to eat one to get information from it and randomly started wanting to eat all of them.

Legend of Hana

Why did everyone hate Legend of Mana so much? I thought it was a very fun and cute game. I understand it's a little bit different from the rest of the series, but I liked the way the storyline moved.
By the way, dark elves (Forgotten Realms of course) are great characters. Why not try a MMORPG (instead of just an expansion pack) for those people who are evil at heart?

I'm not really sure why people hate Legend of Mana so much. I greatly enjoyed the game. I alway hate when people say they don't like the game because it lacks story. Well no if anything it is the exact opposite. Since the game is basically made up of a bunch of little stories that revolve around side characters rather than the main character, most of which you don't even have to do to complete the game, a lot of people seemed to miss out on the story that was there.

Is it 8 or 10 bad games?

Dear Rudy, I feel as thought I have hit the jackpot of Q&A Topics. Here are some of the games I hate.
1. The entire legend of wrestling series. Great concept but ruined by bad controlls and shotty slow gameplay.
2. FF:CC no story and best part, multiplayer, is just plane annoying to play.
3. Every yugioh video game ever made. WTF. @Whatb kind of crack head makes these sucky *** games. I mean for someone who used to play the actual card game I can tell you the games suck and I hate them.
4. (okay now good games I dont like)
5.Fire emblem. I hope something is lost on fire emblem for the gba cause the game just isnt fun. I mena Im sure the story isnt that cirny if yuour into that sort of thing but bottem line I didnt enjoy it.
6. All the lord of the rings games. there are three ways to experience this story. If your cheap. read the books. if your less so(like me) see the movies. If your a freak*** trekkie fan boy play the games wich suck
7. Papermario. Okay I really should lay this before I judge it but the crackhead Idea of paper mario just is well a crackhead idea.
8. screw 8
9. all of the pokeman games. Yes I am iggnorent and perposly spelling it what, bite me. I got the first three when I was into pokemon then I realised Boruing repetitive and over expansive are three word too describe pokeman games.
10. just too have atleast two FF here FF2. Boring predictabale glitchy

Ten is plenty welll they suck and I hate them

1. I also hear that the newest one has tons of neato glitchs that sometimes warp you outside of the entire building. Yay!
2. I guess someone didn't complete this game because while it may have been very small, there was a story in there. It just didn't entirely show up until the end. It mainly revolved around Gurdy and the Black Knight. I also greatly enjoyed the multiplayer part of the game once you got some of the cooler weapons. Continuously casting meteor over and over again always seemed to get a good laugh out of everyone. No matter how useless the skill was.
3. Maybe you should try Stairway to the Destined Dual for the GBA. I'm told it actually follows the rules of the card game and not some random rules that were made up just for the game.
4. I'm not really sure why you numbered this one. Unless that happens to be an actual game. In which case yeah that was a horrible game and the load times were really annoying.
5. While I don't enjoy Strategy games all that much, I did enjoy fire emblem a small bit. It greatly reminded me of a Super NES game that went by the name Langrisser. Sadly, other than the first 2, none of the Langrisser games made it out to the USA. I am looking forwards to the Growlansser games, which are somehow related I'm told.
6. I'm not sure why a "trekkie" would want to play this game, however I will agree with you on the not very entertaining part.
7. My only disapointment with the game was it's length. If I can beat an RPG the day I bought it, generally that's not a good use of my money.
8. Yeah that was one of the worst computer games I think I ever played. Especially the part with the tenticles and the... Nevermind.
9. On the back of the box to Fire Red and Leaf Green it says something along the lines of "Players must have some reading skills in order to play this game." So on that note I will forgive you for not being able to spell correctly.
10. I always liked how in every Final Fantasy game you start out fighting some evil bad force and then later on you discover that you arn't really supposed to be fighting those guys but instead some other force that apparently no one has ever really heard of up until half way through the game. So yes Final Fantasy games are very predictable...

That is some long battles

Someone wrote in yesterday complaining that they wanted a real RPG Maker. My recommendation is an editor from a real RPG. Neverwinter Nights comes to mind immediately, and you could make a lovely RPG with Warcraft 3's map editor if you took the time to create your own graphics and whatnot.
Games I hate? Well, at the top of the list as far as RPGs go are the following:
Dragon Warrior 7, which is an unending onslaught of every kind of pain in unimaginable amounts.
Legaia 2: Duel Saga, which by the end of, each random battle took a solid 4 minutes and 27 seconds, despite the fact that I was only inputting commands for the first 5 seconds of that, and the rest was fully automated, and in 40+ battles of 4 1/2 minutes each, no enemies ever got a turn. Also, the story started out mediocre and got more and more stupid and flatly cliche with every scene. It's not good when a story is somewhat unique, then has a series of plot twists that each make one of the unique parts turn into what could almost be direct quotes from FF4.
Dungeon Siege, and by association almost all other hack-and-slash RPGs, including but not limited to Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter, and KOTOR. Hack and slash RPGs I can stand include the mana series, Kingdom Hearts when there are no cutscenes and the sound is muted, and some others where you fight enemies actively by pushing buttons and move around in a non-automatic fashion. If battling isn't going to be action-based, then put it in a freaking menu so I can at least do things besides watch my character automatically melee.

I don't hate SaGa games, Xenosaga, FF10-2, or Chrono Cross, even though everyone tells me I should. I think I might be a masochist at heart... or a little girl in the case of FF10-2.


I agree with you 100% on Dragon Warrior 7 being "an unending onslaught of every kind of pain in unimaginable amounts." 99% of that game is wandering around aimlessly fighting hordes of monsters and never actually getting anywhere by doing so. If there is anything I hate more than anything else in a video game it's turn based battles. And 100 hours of that just doesn't seem like a Sunday afternoon in the park for me.
Legaia 2 is also another horrible game in my opinion. I never could figure out why one of my friends was pretty much obsessed with that game for the longest time. She would spend hours and hours pressing random button combinations trying to figure out every single move she could ever possibly come up with...and liked it.
Here's where I'm gonna have to dissagree with you. Any game where the computer does all of the leveling for me while I go off and make a sandwhich or something gets and A+ for me. While the story was somewhat lacking the multiplayer was mainly what I enjoyed most. The Pit of Dispair was quite the adventure as well. All continuous 15 hours of it.
If liking FFX-2 makes you a little girl, then I must be a little Japanese schoolgirl because I only played the Japanese version of the game. Which from what I've heard is a lot more silly and goofy than the North American version.

I would just like to know if
Yuber's (Suikoden 3) eightfold rune is confirmed to be a true rune. Also, is there any confirmed returning char in the new suikoden, other than Jeane, Viki, and Leknaat? PX

Honestly I have no clue what you are talking about. However, according to here, he is a member of the Rock Band, King Krimson. You might try asking this random girl about it though.


Sadly I will admit that today's column was a bit on the boring side. So for tomorrow I ask that you all tell me about the most amazing thing that has ever happened to you either while playing an RPG or happened to you in an RPG. For instance, I was playing one of the tales games once and I came across this amazingly difficult boss. After checking around on some guides I found on that apparently everyone had a hard time fighting him. So naturally I decided to try anything random that just might work. As the battle began I ran towards him, jumped over his head, and then continued towards the right side of the screen where I stood there and did nothing for the rest of the battle. Just like he apparently decided to do because from that point on he just stood there and took damage. Best thing ever.
rudyxx feels sorry for anyone that went and saw "The Village" yesterday.



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