Myself, And Victor
I'm here for
Send your comments to
Lots of letters again today! So many, in fact, I brought
some help. You remember my Id, Victor don't you? Say "hi"
Victor: Blood makes the grass grow, kill kill
Joshua: This ought to be fun.
Ha ha ha
Ah, yes, NAMCOM. You're referring to the company formed
by the merger of Namco and Capcom, right?. They're the
creator of such classic RPG hits (despite the fact that they
have so many puzzles) like Breath of Destiny and Tales of
Fire. And how we can forget NAMCOM's many fighting games,
including SoulFighter Alpha and Tekkenstalkers?
- Stone Cold Hanpan
Joshua: Creative expounding on minor RPGuru
errors is always encouraged. Just beware of the
consequences. Hanpan, your bomb is in the mail.
I read your site a lot and I think it is great. But I
think that there should be less FF and more Zelda. I mean,
who doesn't like Zelda? When you post up the pictures too by
the way (this is what a lot of my friends think and I do
to), I think that it should be just one sheet because it
gets annoying when you have to look at one one by one. Keep
up the good stories and stuff.
Victor: Stupid pansy Link. Communist hippy
O.k., now I've heard a slew of every game made by Square
either rules or sucks, but one game that I played recently
caught my eye as one of the best games I've played in a long
time. Alundra is probably my favorite 2d adventure/strategy
RPG I've played. It has wonderful graphics for 2d, and
excellent play control. It had the best 2d engine I've ever
seen, especially when dealing with height as an issue. It's
pretty inventive too, although everyone likens it to Zelda
(Link to the Past style). And great music at times too. But
mostly, it's actually quite a challenge too. Some of the
puzzles had stumped me for quite some time, and a lot of
them are just plain frustrating. But we gripe and complain
to no end about how easy games are, this one actually kept
me going all the way to the end. And it had a neat cel
animation intro too. And for you people who just die for
religious controversy such as FFT and Xenogears, it too has
some controversial religious plot elements too. Also, with
everyone complaining all to hell about how every ending
sucks (from FFIV to FFVII), I must say that Alundra left me
with the balance of closure (it had a nice 10 minute
anime-style movie); it showed what happened after the game,
but didn't drag it to death. And it left a bit of question
as to what went on afterwards.
All in all, I can't think of anything I particularly
hated about the game, besides the at times tedious puzzles.
But it's a puzzle game, so the tediousness just means it's a
hard puzzle. ;) Unfortunately, it seems that other people's
liking for the game must have been somewhat less, as I've
not seen much of it in the ways of homepages and FAQs and
such. Oh well, it's a great game, and a gem among puzzle
games. Oy! Working Designs needs to keep up the good work,
you know what I am saying?
Joshua: Well there you have it. You aren't such a
bad fellow WrexSoul. I'm sorry I X-zoned you.
I really like Working Designs--their translators work
hard, their scripts are funny, and best of all, they make
fun of other games. "What lies Beyond the Beyond. . .?"
hehehehe. What a cool company.
I once had a life. But it ran away. I'd go outside and
play but I got to play my games. Help me Joshua. I need him
back! I need out.
Joshua: An RPGlife is the only life, Minaz. Don't
let those jocks, cheerleaders, parents, or other harbingers
of conformity tell you otherwise. They just can't comprehend
all the fun you are having, they can't see the fantastic
worlds you traverse; they only know their moronic ball and
bats, the millstones of reality, while you fly free,
buffeted by the updrafts of the imagination.
1 What is a Crabbit?
2 Why do people hate Secret of Evermore so much?
3 What is the square root of 3,698,432?
4 How come so many people are crazy about perfect
graphics in a game? I mean, do people actually care about
the story anymore?
5 What do you think about the Final Fantasy movie?
6 Why hasn't the poll of the week changed in over a
7 What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?
Thank you for reading this. If it gets posted I will have
a heart attack and die from surprise.
Victor: 1. The Living-Soon-To-Be-Dead
2. Because it must die.
4. Stories are life. Life must die. Stories must die.
5. It should die.
6. Because we're dead.
7. Maggot Mint.
It's posted. Die.
I have noticed that numerous people on message boards
have voiced their complaints about the poorly-written
dialogue in the FFVIII demo. Perhaps people should tell
Squaresoft this. If enough people complain about it, then
maybe they will do something to fix it before the actual
game is released.
I just got done playing the Final Fantasy VIII demo and I
realized right away that there were no experience points or
level ups. Along with this there is no menu screen. Is this
just because it is a demo version or have these things been
done away with just like magic points?
You all are overlooking a very serious thing about the
demo: How realistic is the premise that the actual version
of Final Fantasy VIII will use the exact same version of the
'draw' system? We have only one precedent in the matter of
Square keeping things the same in demos as in the full game:
the Final Fantasy VII demo. That time around, nothing
changed as far as magic casting ... BUT (*gasp!*) what
happened in the full game? MATERIA!! The demo had you
collecting something called 'restore' materia, but the whole
concept wasn't even brushed on -- you had no idea of it. To
say that every battle in Final Fantasy VIII will incorporate
the 'draw' system as we know it in the demo is completely
absurd. We have already heard that magic in the FFVIII world
is something not very commonplace, and only a few people can
use it (supposedly the Garden graduates) Remember Final
Fantasy VI, anyone? Terra and Celes at the beginning of the
game? The Espers at the end? Starting to catch my drift?
While I'm not saying the draw system will not be in FFVIII
(heck, everything up to this point may be a red herring, you
never know), don't criticize it when you don't even know the
full extent of it yet. I bet there will be MANY
modifications to the system by the release so that it is a
working, functional battle system worthy of the Final
Fantasy name ... Square will NOT blow off a game from their
Joshua: Something to remember when you are playing
the demo--Square was FAR from finished product when they
created this demo. You may have noticed the absence of music
or sound effects at certain scenes. Does that mean there
won't be any music? No. This demonstration is not primarily
meant for an accurate excerpt of the final product, rather
to whet your palate, get you rabid mad for the real thing,
and give you a slight excerpt of where Square is heading
with their most anticipated project.
Brian, I don't think you need to fear about the levels--I
doubt Square has done away with that.
I disagree with -1warshaw that everything in the demo may
be a "red herring." He asks for us to use the FFVII demo as
an example. The FFVII demonstration followed the actual
beginning very faithfully. A few text snippets where
cut/added, Aeris wasn't there (and I have a feeling Rinoa
won't be in that particular section of FFVIII either. She
wasn't given any speaking lines, just like Aeris, and she
looked like she was there to fulfill the Square demo role of
Leviathan-casting female) and the end boss changed, but
otherwise the level layout, beginning FMV conversation, and
battle elements remained the same. Materia wasn't explained
fully in the real game until after the Avalanche raid
either. Thus, with FFVII as a precedent, we can expect this
Seed fight scene to remain fairly faithful to the actual
But, since much could happen to FFVIII, from demo's
construction to the grand finale, I'll criticize the demo as
a separate unit.
Plusses: I like the new style of characters designs--more
realistic 3-D sprites--the FMV scenes were awe-inspiring
(the potpourri of FMV in the Xenogears demo makes sense now)
and the way the FMV cut to gameplay was absolutely
astounding--no noticeable load time whatsoever. Biggs and
Wedge were a nice addition, the summoning and spell effects
are improved, and the battle close-ups show off the work
character artists put into their pixilated personas.
Minuses: The dialogue, like Monkey alluded too, was
awful. I hope this is a rush-job translation, or a sketch of
the final script, because the exchanges between characters
are dry and never gave me the feeling that what I was seeing
was real--the script reeked of B-movie triteness. I despise
the drawing system to no end--I found Square's streamlining
efforts left me disenchanted and bewildered. In traditional
RPGs, each character had their mana level that each spell
drained from. In this game you're stealing magic to cast or
save for later--why? Its too simple and doesn't make much
sense--I think Square just wants to drive FAQ writers loony
trying to list all the monsters with their draw options.
Obviously mimicking the "15 minutes to get the heck out
of there" motif in FFVII, FFVIIIs attempt loss some of the
flavor. Trying to get back to your boats in time is not as
dramatic as sprinting out of a Mako reactor about to blow
up. In an attempt to heighten the climax, a spider-mech
thingee jumps out of nowhere (kind of like the demon boss)
and chases you down. Every screen it attacks you, no matter
how fast you run, and it's frustrating--not exciting--to
watch it waste your time in the same fight sequence (HINT:
Don't cast Leviathan unless at the beginning of the battle.
It devours too much time).
Manufacturing drama is not the only element FFVIII copies
from VII. Seifer, with his monomania for fighting and
command echoes both Barret's temper and single-minded
intensity as well as Sephiroth's solo aura and connection
with the hero. Squall exhibited Cloud's cool detatchment and
confidence. These characters didn't seem very unique, but
it's probably too early to tell if they are shaped from the
same mold as FFVII characters (Rinoa looks like Tifa, minus
These similarities in plot and character are ominous.
Stagnancy is not something I wish to see in an FF game.
Overall Impressions: This is going to be a great-looking
game, there's no doubt about that, but it's far from perfect
thus far. I think I'm being unnecessarily harsh and picky
toward the demo, but I expected a lot more than I received.
It's Square's own fault--we constantly assume better and
bigger out of this company, and soon they won't be able to
deliver. There's only so many times the same creative team
can outdo itself.
Horse Breeding, Crabbit Killing,
And Other Nonsensicals
Well, while playing FFT I noticed it said that Delita's
parents were horse breeders, though I have yet to see a
horse In FFT. Did Square mess up?
Speaking of Crabbits, I saw one In my backyard. I take it
he ate my neighbors, but anyway. I reached for my shotgun,
and hit him in the chest, he didn't die, so if you see a
Crabbit with a bullet wound, End him quickly, for me.
-Mad Number, fellow Crabbit hater
Square--mess up? Naw. Not Square. "Where did those monks
run off too?" -misquoted line from SaGa Frontier, but you
get the point. Yeah, and Gee, gotta love those "Couars" in
Xenogears. But hey, can I talk? NAMCOM and FFVI's Edward is
all I have to say.
Actually, horses are an endangered species in the FF
series, having been supplanted by the obviously more
versatile and utilitarian Chocobos. How many equestrians do
you know that can peck a grown man to death and cast
meteors? The inclusion of this breeding fact shows that
Delita's family line is one that needlessly clings to
tradition, foreshadowing future events in the game. Ha. I'm
[bleep]ing with you. (Everyone seen "There's
Something About Mary?" That movie is a laugh-riot.)
You don't have to tell me to kill them. I mutilate any
Crabbit I see, no questions asked. Once upon a time, I saw a
Crabbit helping an old lady across the road as I was driving
and, well. . . I'm very sorry for old Betsy, but her
sacrifice was for a greater cause--the downfall of the
RPGamer The Place To
You would not believe how glad I am to find a place like
RPGamer, and more specifically, this section of the site! Us
real RPing enthusiasts have really so few places to go! I
find newsgroups quite immature and most unsatisfactory as a
place to meet fellow gamers, really.
As most of you know, console RPGaming is a very solitary
thing! I mean, sure, you can discuss an RPG endlessly with a
couple of good friends, but by and large, how many times do
we play RPGs in front of a whole group of people? Sports
games, sure, but RPGs? I don't know about you but I get
bored watching some other person play FFanything (not to
mention the spoilers if that person is way ahead of you in
So I got to thinking. Hikers can find their like on the
trail, bikers meet up on the road, musicians have their
band, but where do RPGamers go to together? Well, now that
I've found RPGamer and this little column here, I've just
answered that question. Reading your letters here make me
feel like I've got brothers and sisters I don't know about
all over the world! I love you all, man, really, I do.
And you're king, Joshua, the king...
Joshua: Thank you, thank you very much.
Now isn't this site wonderful? We can meet at this forum
and discuss our passion without fear of discrimination and
ridicule. I'm quite touched by your display of honest
warmth, Steve. What do you think Victor?
Victor: Stupid Hippie.
Joshua: Shame on you Victor! Don't listen to him,
Steve. I think Victor's just Lovephobic.
Victor: Death courts you, receive his kiss and
You're an English major, maybe you can help out here. Why
do we say, "many will 'never see the light of day' here"? I
mean if some things don't see the light of day, is it
possible for those same subjects to see the dark of night?
But if it's impossible to see dark, can they NOT see the
dark of night? But if they don't see the dark of night here,
then can they actually be here? Because if nothing sees the
dark of night (or conversely, does not not see the dark of
night) then all those things can still see the light of day.
And if all those things don't ever see the dark of night nor
not not see the light of day, then they don't exist, or do
they? All I know is my games are in my Playstation and they
never see the light of day, but they're still here.
Victor: Light is an illusion. Darkness is all,
consumes all, destroys all. Light is a pansy hippie sun
smoking away, but Night always has its day. Close your eyes
and witness what lies beyond--the darkness awaits, and Its
coming to get you.
Are there any books of guitar tablature for RPG music
available in Japan? If so, Are there any companies that
import them? Oh, and in regard to naming Tellah 'Dinner',
whenever I play Earthbound (stop laughing, would you rather
I play mystic quest?) I enter my favorite food as 'toddlers'
so whenever I go back to my house in Onett, my mom says "Eat
some toddlers and scoot up to bed, Ness". This letter is
worth printing merely because of that last bit of
-Lourde Terranigma, King of the Daemons, and
Joshua: Gracious, I don't know. Who do you think I
am, a RPGuitarist? :) J/k. Does anyone know some information
to help this David Gilmore wannabe out?
What? What's that Victor?
Victor: Hehehe. Toddler soup. Yumee. Tastes like
Evil Evil Being!
I SAW your gratuitous defamation of SaGa Frontier 2!
Haven't you seen the hand drawn graphics? Haven't you heard
that Square is repairing the little irritations found in the
original game? No more undeveloped characters, cross-hatched
plots, completely ridiculous missions upon which you have no
knowledge of what to do, where to go, or who to seek!
Finally, a SaGa Frontier that will live up to the name
SquareSoft, and you BASH it! How DARE you!?
In revenge for your hatred of SaGa Frontier II, I
dedicate the following poem to you, Joshua Reid.
"An epistle to Joshua, who has gone astray."
By the Right Honorable Lord Shawners of Crabbiton
(Copywrong 1998, All Rights Vacant, Void Where
I rose and blew the horn of yore,
Five times eight, and then twice more.
From hell the Crabbits came so quick,
Their heads are hard- their hair is thick.
I shudder now. Oh!, horn of doom!
Crabbits dancing 'round my room!
They sing, they laugh, they grow so tall-
I hope to see their leader fall!
But Crabbits are so far better
To see than a degrading letter.
Especially one which flames a game
Which, like SaGa, has renowned fame!
So, Joshua Reid, "Crabbits Upon You!!!"
May their 'chu-chu' forever haunt you!
May their form oft pass your door!
Crabbits here forevermore!
~Paid for by The Association Of Crabbit Haters Who Like
Using The Vile Beasties To Carry Out Revenge Upon Poor Video
Game Letter Column Hosts, or TAOCHWLUTVBTCORUPVGLCH.~
~Sponsored by Shawners, that damned annoying guy down the
street who hangs around those rabbit things that dance far
too much and make really irritating noises, or "That
Insufferable English [illegitimate child]".~
~And, garnering support from forty-two separate viewers
Joshua: What do we think about this well-composed
rhyme, my dear Id?
Victor: Rot in Hell and die.
Joshua: That about sums it up.
Hehehe. I'm very impressed, fellow wordsmith. You readers
have vivid imaginations. Don't use them for evil
This has been a bad weekend for me. My Hokies lost, my
hockey team lost, I didn't update Saturday, I feel very blah
today, and tomorrow is Monday. Ah well, such is life.