|Back off into the sunset|
||In the PSX|
||Sadly, nothing -- no PSX in my dorm room|
||Write to the RPGuru!|
||Send those burning questions 'n comments to
Hello out there on RPGamer Flight 1011, this is your temporary captain
Andrew Kaufmann speaking. We will soon be making a smooth touchdown, and
when that happens your captain for the next flight will be Allan once again.
It's been fun returning to the skies for a while, and I wish all of yall
the best until we meet again. And now, back to the R.E.M. playing over
I have some questions for you,would you be kind enough to answer it ??
(man, i really want to know the answer,even my English is really
bad)okay..here we go !
1.what is the best music from rpg ?? (i think one winged angel is the
best, what do you think ??)
2.i read in some game magazine that Cid from final fantasy 7 is a
playable character from "another" final fantasy games, is that true ??if
yes, then from what(final fantasy) rpg he comes ??
3.In final fantasy 7, there is a scene where Cloud begin like "a
paralyzed man" and he always talk about something strange,(if you forget
it,then i tell you a hint, at that scane Cid become the leader because
Cloud is not there..now you remember ??)okay, now i think i know what is
he talking about,at final fantasy tactics there is a scene where Ramza
summoned Cloud, right? Now I'm sure that what is he try to talking at
final fantasy 7 is what happen for him at final fantasy world,for clue,
there is one name he say, and when i check final fantasy tactics, the
name is exactly right with a enemy name (to bad i forget the name), say,
what do you think ??
4.what is the best rpg game from Snes,Sega Genesis,and playstation ??
also what is the newest rpg from that consoles ??
5.Is my English really BAAADDD ???(i should learn more ^_^)
AK: 1) My favorite has, and probably always will be, "Prologue"
from Final Fantasy IV (2 US). It's also known as "The Main Final Fantasy
Theme," "the Bridge Theme," among others. You probably know the one I'm talking
about. It's in every FF, but I think the version in FFIV was the most dramatic
and had the most emotional effect on the player.
2. There has been a Cid in every FF since FF2j, but no Cid has ever come back for
a second game. In other words, there's always someone named Cid, but it's never
the same person.
3. I'm afraid I'm going to have to admit right off the bat that my memory
truly sucks. I don't remember either scene, but then again, I'd forget my
birthday if it wasn't printed on my driver's liscence. Maybe Allan will
4. Hello! That's a broad question. Favorites really depend on personal
tastes... and since you emailed me, I guess I'll give my personal favorites
for those systems. SNES: FF4 (2 US), Genesis: None (I've never played an RPG
on the Genesis), and PSX: Final Fantasy Tactics.
5. Don't sweat it dude, I understood everything you said, and that's what
language is all about. You don't have to talk in iambic pentameter or anything.
Coverage and Chocobos
Andrew, you just brightened my day.Ê I've been hoping to see Q&AK again
for a while =).Ê Too bad it's only temporary.Ê I guess this is one of
those things that I gotta "enjoy while it lasts".Ê Anyways, in
non-conformist tradition, here are my questions:
q) Do you support the act of chocobo consuming?
~) Why did I just let my little brother play my PSX?Ê He won't give it
back now!Ê Can you give me any advice so that I may reclaim it?
$) Would you get another Mana Tree if you planted a Mana Seed?
666) Where's my plastic bunny?
+) Umm... can you ramble on about R.E.M. for me?Ê Puh-leeeease?Ê I've
missed your R.E.M. ramblings... =)
Okay, well, good luck on your column while you're around!
AK: Now , now, no big deal to have me back, man. Allan's been
doing an absolute crackerjack job, and he's been more consistent. Be
careful what you hope for! ;)
q) Only if they're properly cooked.
~) Doh, that wasn't very smart. But there's no sense in rehashing mistakes,
only in looking for solutions! An expensive solution is to buy him a
Nintendo 64 with Mario. Kids love Mario. A cheaper one is to buy him a
little Tamagotchi keychain for him to play with. Those were all the rage
a few months ago...
$) Of course not, don't be silly. Besides, it's not like Mana Seeds grow
on trees or anything, they're quite rare. Or something like that.
666) The Easter Bunny kidnapped him so he could have help painting all those
+) Oh boy! REM rambling! I'd love to! No one guessed my random REM trivia question
yesterday... the answer is "Have You Ever Seen the Rain." It's a good song,
I recommend a listen if you ever find a copy. Also, everyone mark October
27th on your calendars! Why, you ask? Because REM's next album comes out then!
The title is "Up" and early reviews are coming in, and it's looking good. I've
already planned out my 27th so I can get to a CD store right as they open, give
the album a listen, and still have enough time to get to class without being more
than 30 minutes late. Of course, I'll probably end up skipping class to bask
in the sheer aural ecstacy, but at least I'm not planning on it.
Final Boss Rumination
Hey, good to see you again. The name "RPGuru" may be more aesthetically
pleasing, but it'll never have the down-to-earth strangeness of "Q&AK".
Anyways, regarding the discussion of final enemies, I've noticed that these
enemies have generally become more and more humanoid in nature. Even Lavos'
final form is like that. Since the final boss appears before the last ten
minutes in today's RPGs, the final form looks kind of like the person the
player has been fighting for the whole game.
At the same time, bosses tend to look majestic and god-like, leading to Angel
Overkill. But what if they started making bosses look completely human? If
done well, something along the lines of the human Sephiroth fought in FFVII's
ending could be a good final enemy.
AK: Down to earth strangeness? Bummer... I always thought the name
was pretty clever. Now my ego is bruised. Haha! Just kidding. Can't hurt
I really like the idea of a final enemy being a normal (or normal looking)
human. Graphic majesty isn't necessarily made by sheer size, realistic detail
can be just as effective, and provide a much more realistic climax.
I would just like to point out that bridges are evil. In that one town south
of Vector in FF3 there was that bridge where Celes totally dissed Locke
before they sailed to Thamasa. That goes to show how bridges are symbolic of
female's evil wrath.
Badrang, expecting evil threats by female RPGers
AK: Bad old buddy, have you recently been given the proverbial shaft
by the apple of your eye? I sense a little bit of bitterness. Remember, women
rule, even if they shaft you, because I betcha you'll be crawling back to them
in a hurry. Sure, right now you may be upset, but it'll pass. It always does.
And oh yeah, about the bridge you mention... I don't remember it. But we've
already talked about my memory today... haven't we?
AndrewV had Charlie Brown blankets? (Page three, very bottom, you can see
AK: Ahem. The skit was done at my house... and yes, I do have
a Charlie Brown blanket. I've had it since I was a little kid, man! That's
one warm, soft, comfortable blanket. Don't even think about dissing Charlie
Brown, either, or I'll have to get medieval.
The Tables Have Turned
Ok, so Allan is gone partying, kinda like you used to do, and You're
up to bat again. Makes me happy i have someone different to spread the
great words of my insanity... and its even better that its an "old
friend"! :D Anyways... on with the questions.
1) People have mentioned many a bridge, mostly the Big Bridge in FF5
and some bridge in FF6 (I gather the one in the Esper cave), yet I
have not heard a single word for two of the most famous bridges in
Square RPG-dom! Of course, I am talking about the Zenan Bridge in
Chrono Trigger and that one bridge you see in the intro to FF4.(when
they play the really neeto leeto opening music ;) My question is: Whaz
up wit that? (Please excuse my bad ebonics, foo)
2) Would you people be totally upset if I just up and gave Big Lick a
ride home? (His home, not mine :P)
3) I have seen many a cool RPGamer dood on IRC, including Mike (*censored
to protect his privacy, in case he doesn't want everyone msging him), Big Lick
(as *censored*), and even Andy V (as *censored*)... but why are the two masters
of the mail, the two greatest answer guys alive, Allan and Kaufmann,
nowhere to be found?
4) What happened to the Snickers I put in the fridge?
AK: 1) Mmm hmm, those are good bridges, to be sure. What was
the original point of this bridges thread? I'm losing track, and I'm getting
2) Nah, he could use a lift. But be warned: he likes to stick his head out the
window and bark at oncoming traffic.
3) It's never been a big secret all of us hang out online (including Allan
and I) sometimes. Glick and Mike hang out on DALnet pretty regularly I think,
as I used to, but I quit going there several months back. If you're really
eager to catch me on IRC, I hang out at on a network called EsperNet(for
more info see EsperNet's webpage). It's a
small place, but it's cool. Word of warning though: like everyone else, we're
all moody, busy, and sometimes grumpy, so don't get too upset if you don't get
a reply or you get a terse/rude one. Speaking for myself only, but probably
for the other guys too to a certain extent, I like to IRC to relax and chill out, and I avoid
RPG/RPGamer related convos. Not only that, we sometimes leave an idle client
online, so we appear there when we're really off partying and stuff. All that
being said, the best way to reach any of us is through email.
4) Oops, I ate it. Sorry.
The PocketStation and FF8
How is Square/EA going to port FF8 to the PC? I mean, how are they
going to port the PocketStation chocobo breeding thingy? Are they going
to leave us poor Playstation-deprived people out again? What are we
going to do? *sob*
AK: Square has two options, the way I see it. One is to just
drop it, as you suggested... but another option is to port the breeding
thingie to Palm Pilots/Windows CE, those little organizer thingies. They're
definetely powerful enough for the task.
Pokémon Code Clarification
I'll make this real short and sweet, AK...
1. Malak and Rafa are really good, unless they're the object of the battle
(ie. save/protect one or the other); they make the **best** cannon fodder! I
mean seriously: find an area you can defend with one or two people. Make
Rafa and Malak Knights with crazy armour (so their HPs go through the roof).
Then stick 'em out to protect the rest of the party (who should be
ultra-fast Lancers who leap all over the place while Heaven and Hell protect
y'all from damage. Don't want to lose them permanently? Have one of the
lancers throw Phoenix Downs at them occasionally.
2. Is there a way to hook up my PSX to my computer / monitor (without a
3. I've been told that Xenogears is like FFVII on crack. Having not seen any
version of Xenogears, can you lend any credence to this claim? (OK, for
those lacking in the vocabulary department, "can you lend any credence
[...]" means "can you support this [...]")
5. Dammit! Question 4's slacking off again! Where'd that shaven monkey run
off to? Oh well, final question: which name for the main character of FFVII
sounds the more silly-sounding, Cloud or Claude? Whenever I say "Cloud", I
think of flower-children running around on a grassy knoll: Cloud, Roy G.
Biv, Blueberry Sunrise (I know someone named this), etc.)
6. Now, onto the generic, stupid, irritating questions that the various
RPGurus post and answer umpteen times for some amazingly strange reason...
When is FFV for the PC coming out? N64 sux, PSX rulz!! *whine mode* When is
RPGamer going to cover Final Fantasy 6.4?*end whine mode*
7. BTW, where did the parlance "PSX" come from. "P" means "Play" and "S"
means "Station," but what does "X" stand for?
8. Despite the millions who prefer "Big Lick" and Allan
"don't-mispel-my-name-dammit!" Milligan to you AK, I think that you were
(and still are, seemingly) the best Q&AK host ever. Having to wait a month
between posts kept the tension high and the anticpation in full gear. You
were intelligent and razzed the stupid letters, and *most importantly,*
dammit you were funny. You posted funny letters, you were witty, original,
and smart about your responses. I prefered the shorter (8 or 9 letter) Q&AKs
because you spent more time making sure they were entertaining. I'd tell you
you should start a Q&AK page, but that's really ridiculous. One other thing
I really appreciated: you actually responded directly back to *e-mails.* I
remember feeling let down when my letter wasn't posted, but then I checked
my e-mail and, lo and behold, you had answered my question! Quite the human
touch. Anyway, I'd just like to say thanks and goodbye, as you drift back to
the world of college and out of the realm of RPGamer. Even if everyone else
is thankful you've been replaced, at least you'll know you'll be missed by
at least me. I hope you freelance often.
OK, so these questions weren't short or sweet. In fact, this is longer than
The Ring Cycle by Wagner (~14 hours) and damnit if I can't get this bitter
taste outta my
The Great *and* Amazing Slurp
AK: 1) Hehe... that sounds like it'd work, although I found it
more effective to just tell them to hit the road and develop a couple of
useful characters ;)
2) Not that I'm aware of, I'm afraid...
3) FFVII... on crack. Hmm. An interesting analogy. I've heard a lot of
things about Xenogears, but that's a new one. To be honest, though, I haven't
seen it in action either, all my opinions on it are sheer hearsay. I'd take
a look at all of RPGamer's media on it and make a decision on it yourself.
5) Damn that 4! He always gives me trouble, too. I'd have to say I prefer
the name Claude. At least real people have it for a name... like Jean Claude
Van Damme. I think he's real, anyway.
6) FFV's release isn't looking good, waaaaah. I really wanted that one
to come out, too... and we'll review FF6.4 and if it has enough RPG elements,
we'll cover it when a staff member has time etc etc blah blah blah.
7) There's a long story behind this, but the short version goes as so: Sony
made a PlayStation. It sucked. They went back to the drawing board and
made a new and improved Playstation, the Playstation X. When it was released
it lost the X, but designers still referred to it as the PSX. And it stuck.
8) Man, I really appreciate everything you said here. There's no competition
between any of us who have hosted this column to see whose is the most popular,
the most interesting, etc. etc. etc., but we all like an ego boost every now
and then ;). My replying directly to emails is something I always tried to do,
with varying success; time was always going by too fast, so I'd answer as much
email as I could as hurriedly as possible. (If you think my style of writing
here is casual, you ain't seen nuttin' yet unless you've gotten an email from
me.) Again, I give you my sincerest thanks for all of the nice things you
said about me (and here's the $20 I promised). I also give you my sincerest
thanks on the wellwishing, as I do everyone that has wished me luck. And about
that bitter taste... try eating a lemon. It'll be sour then, not bitter!
Quick 'n Dirty Tidbits: Matt wants to know where Andrew Vestal
is these days (at last check he was training hard for the Iditarod), Xhead
tells us that Lucca is in the Xenogears demo, at the counseling center next
to the save point (I haven't researched this, but I'll take your word for it),
an alert reader points out that Enix is also working on Star Ocean: the Second
Story (cool), Jim adds to that list with some non-RPGs: Eurasia Express Murder
Incident, Mystic Ark Illusion Drama, ECO, Pop 'n Dance, and Great Hits
(interesting... let's hope Enix is still alive and kicking and will re-emerge
as a force in the industry), and Persmerga points out that Meowth is in the Red
version of Pokémon (I have no idea what you're talking about, but I bet it
makes sense to everyone else).
And so ends my brief tenure as RPGuru. Maybe I'll do it again sometime,
maybe I won't. But to all of you that sent me kind words, and even to those
that pointed out how much I suck, I thank you for reading my words and giving
me a place to air some of my bizarre opinions. I'm not as informed a gamer
as I used to be, and I hope it didn't hinder my performance here, but if it did,
I humbly apologize. Good luck to you all in all of your endeavors, and rock
- Andrew Kaufmann
"I would give my life to find it, I would give it all, catch me if