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Allan Milligan

Yowza. The "RPG character you'd like to kick the pixels out of" thread is alive and well, to say the least. Massive outpouring of opinions there, with two clear winners: Malak (FFT) and Edward (FF4). Rafa receives a reprieve from the Lame Throne for being hailed as a decent character by some, and third place goes to the collective cast of SaGa Frontier, followed up Gremio of Suikoden fame (or is that infamy?), with poor old Aeris (FF7) rounding out the top five. It's a wide and nasty field, covering everyone from FF4's Kain (blasphemy, says I) to Chrono Trigger's Marle, to one guy who's already ragging on the FF8 cast. Lots of letters, most of which aren't being put up for space reasons (time to move on to a new topic, I think), but very cool nonetheless.

And, of course, RPGMaster! is vehemently hateful of the Chrono Trigger cast, when he actually manages to distinguish them from the Dragonball Z cast...

Oh, and I beat the hell out of Velius last night. It was beautiful. All sorts of planning, Accumulate-ing against Wiegraf, Auto-Potioning, Lich Summon... and the whole thing ended up being a total cakewalk because Agrias, O She That Is Fanky, hit the bugger with a Lightning Strike. And Silenced him before he got off a single call spell. You can't plan moments like that, people.

Q: If I could thrash a character, it would be Aeris. Why? Simply because... What? Sephiroth already did?! shucks. And I really wanted to kill of one of the really cool characters so that I could be a really awesome and loathed villain. *sigh* Oh, well. Maybe next game. *maniacal laughter*

- Tolmek

Allan: If it's any consolation, Tolmek, you're loathed by me. :)

Q: First off i'd like to talk about a neat little connection between final fantasy IV and Final Fantasy VI It's probably been brought up before...but none of my friends can see it

In Final Fantasy IV you must fight odin to get in the bottom of Baron castle...well in Final Fantasy VI when you go down with castle figaro into the cavern to get odin(and raiden might i add) you are told a story that once a great soldier(mage whatever i don't remember) came and fought odin and turned him to stone could this warrior have been cecil?? Also if you look at how the map changes in locations from the world of balance to the world of ruin.. it would be almost the same geographical location that baron was! Well no matter....just had to get that off my chest...

Allan: I've heard that connection between FF4 and FF6 before, and really, it doesn't hold up to one simple fact: they're not set in the same world. Hence the "Final" part of the title. No direct sequels. It's a neat idea, but it's a nudge nudge wink wink from Square at best, a total coincidence more likely. You could probably wring a decent fanfic out of it, though.

Q: I say lad! I must digress upon your mess about the definition of digression. My impression was that digression is a rather weird obsession, I'm here to tell you it's a lesson. Those who digress think less and less, until their mind is full of cess. Your digression is seriously meshing with my depression on the cause of confession of obsession. While I've made it oh-so clear, my dear, I hope this session of digression has implied an ingestion to your digestion that it is a lesson to be learned by the...chocobos.......Okay, bye.


Allan: This, of course, is what's happened to Link after over a decade of living in celibacy with Princess Zelda...

Q: My comments on RPG Maker (refering to RPG Tsukuru Super Dante for Super Famicom):

I can't really say that I found entering text using a letter menu too annoying, except for the fact that the english alphabet was the third menu in the entry screen and had be scrolled to every time and there was no wrap-around feature. Also, since writing words in english generally takes more individual characters than in Japanese, the space restrictions become unbearable by times. For example, there were only 8 characters for items. I came up with a crafty solution for this which required useing for various Japanese Kana to act as symbols for types of items, though (for those who know Japanese: "me" in katakana became a sword, the katakana "na" a dagger, the hiragana "no" a whip). My biggest gripe was how I ran out of available memory before I even had 3 towns and 4 dungeons (partly because I put a lot of interesting but unnecessary things in as well as abundant plot, but I mean, come on, I couldn't make my game to suck!). It at least made the unbelievably difficult task of creating a decent RPG game into an accomplishable goal by one person, though. For that it may be commended, even though I wished for all the life in me it had contained the graphical and musical composion control which Dezaemon gives. I had fun with it back in the day, and I found the experience it gave me helped a lot when I actually started programming my own RPG in C years later (a much more productive task, if you have the time and skill).

I give you tidings of great joy!

- Kuso Daimyo

Allan: Other letter-writers mentioned that using a Dex Drive can allow the sharing of RPGs developed using RPGMaker for PSX, which is good to hear. All in all, there's some complaints about RPGMaker, for certain, but I've come to the conclusion that the sheer uniqueness of the game counterbalances that. I sincerely hope that ASCII does choose to port it over, because even if I end up getting impatient with inputting the text, I know of too many people who'd peel off their own fingertips to take a crack at programming an RPG to deny them that chance.

Q: Uh... I got a few questions. Are ya that surprised? ^_^

1) You have SoulBlazer info, you either have/are thinking about Illusion of Gaia WHAT ABOUT TERRANIGMA??? It sorrows me to think that the best game of the three gets neglected... on the web's prime RPG site, nonetheless!

2)I've seen fire and I've seen rain.... and I've seen multiple RPGurus... yet you are the first to actually UPDATE... so whats with it? Are you (1) A really dedicated RPG uh.. question guy, (2) A zombie from Resident Evil 2 hired by Mike Tidwell (SP?) to work on RPGamer, or (3) Someone like me with absolutely no social life?

3) Why is there no question 3?

4) We know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop (42), but why do we still not know why hot dogs come in packages of 10 and hot dog buns in packages of 8?

~~Leaving your life a little more nerve-wracking, Bryann ^_^~~

Allan: 1) I'm pretty sure we're going to get Terranigma coverage up. Hopefully sooner rather than later, but it partially depends on you guys: anyone feel up to writing and submitting a Terranigma FAQ or walkthrough?

2) I'm someone who believes that, if I undertake a job, I'm going to do it the best I can. In this case, it means daily updates. It's that simple.

3) Why not?

4) It's all a conspiracy, organized by a man dressed entirely in flannel and with a massive mole on his left cheek. You just don't realize it yet.

Q: I'm bound and determined to actually get a letter up here, so here goes...

It may be an older topic now, but a game that I really liked that no one else did was Saga Frontier. No screaming allowed! I've sat patiently and watched any number of insults directed towards the game, but now I'm speaking out. Admittedly, the game wasn't what I expected, but I loved it! Who cares if the graphics aren't so hot? I'm more concerned with the excellent exploration factor involved. There are tons of common areas to explore, PLUS there's character specific areas as well. Also, the fact that characters would often cross paths and join up was nifty. I really liked the level-up system that seems to have derived from FF2j, and the music was absolutely AMAZING! The soundtrack is 3 CDs long, dwarfed only by the FF7 osv! And to address a common complaint, there IS plot and character development, it just isn't the focus of the game.


Allan: Well, he was so determined, and it's such an easy way to start a good debate, I'm posting this. If you'll excuse me, I'll now batter down the hatches while the Endless SaGa Frontier Debate begins to avalanche into my mailbox...

Q: Id Like to beat up that obnoxious woman from the Old Navy commercials...

"And those pockets! Im maaad for them!" i hate her!!!

oh wait...did u say it had to be someone from an RPG?


Allan: Words cannot express the hatred I feel for that obnoxious bloody woman from the Old Navy commercials. She reminds me of a leprosy-stricken goat gigolo with bad teeth and no fashion sense, and I consider her presence on national television to be a violation of the Geneva Conventions.

RPGs? What're they?

Still more characters people hate -

there's no shortage of 'em, that's for damn sure...

OK, here's my list of characters I hate, which was originally posted on the RPG Theory site. BTW- keep up the awesome action as the first letters guy since AK to have an actual personality and attutude. And dump the editorials to the editorials, it's been way too long since we had an update of those. Anyways-

The characters I'm sick of:

-The female magic user with a past she doesn't know about.

-The villian bent on world domination. Very early 80's.

-The hero who vows revenge upon a villian for a lost family member or friend. A good motive, but it would be nice to see something else for a change.

-The "possesed by an evil spirit" bad guy, where it's really not his fault what he's done.

-The "possesor of otherwise OK people" evil spirit. Reference previous.

-The bumbling comic-relief character. They don't make me smile: they put my teeth on edge.

-The mercenary who also happens to be related to a main character by blood or want of revenge.

-The young kid who gets lost in a cave or kidnapped. They grew up around a mine and never learned about how dangerous they can be? Or they don't know about "stranger danger"?

-The assistant to the king who attempts a takeover. It would be interesting if it were an actualy coup, but it never is.

-Whoever keeps impersonating kings.

-Said kings.

-Rebellious princesses.

-The mentor who, though insanely more powerful than you, claims they "cannot help you anymore" and leave within the first half hour of the game.

-Townspeople who all look the same.

-Any form of evil twin brothers.

-Whoever betrays the party but ends up returning to your good graces because you have no choice whatsoever in the matter.

-Anyone named with a noun, a verb, "Shadow", or any variant of "Cain".

...and every other RPG character we've seen more than our reflection.
- Pete23

Allan: And this, I think, just about covers things. I had a good long laugh at this one, especially the "young kid who gets lost in a cave" bit - at the start of Wild Arms, as Rudy, I wished so very hard for the option to just leave the moronic kid to rot and die in the mines like the idiot he was... no such luck. Ah well. Great list anyway.

Q: Hi, Allan. Questions for you:

2) Do you think a "Record of the Lodoss War" console RPG would be cool?

1) Along vaguely similar lines, are there any console RPGs that allow you to play as different races (elf, dwarf, halfling, etc.)? 1d) Are any of them good?

0) This isn't a question. I CAUGHT YOUR COLD and feel like crap. My only consolation is that I'm working in the computer lab of a women's dorm and it's late enough that several are wearing pajamas.


Allan: 2) There are a few Record of the Lodoss War console RPGs already, out in Japan. There's at least one for PC Engine, including voice samples from the original voice actors, and a SFC version. I'm not much of a Lodoss fan, to be honest, so I'll just post the inevitable extra info I'll be sent tomorrow.

1) There are a few. Most of them tend to be older ones, such as Eye of the Beholder, Ultima: Exodus, and some others. Most of them aren't all that good - computer RPGs tend to fare better in this area than consoles, I find.

0) ~Always look on the bright side of life, dee doot, dee doot dee doot dee doot-ee...~

Q: Dear OH great ALLEN ONE,

Okay i read your coloumn every day and every other day someone says that Malak and Rafa stink. Well i would like you to know I used Rafa and Malak For a long time at least intill i got orlandu i used malak and then i used rafa for the 5 more battles in part of the cloud sub-quest. So i would just like to defend them against all the other users out thier who hate them. Rafa and Malak might not be that great but they aren't as bad as everyone makes them out to be


Allan: My name is Allan. A L L A N. It's written all over the bleeding column, and still people misspell it. I'm going to do horrible things to someone with a squirrel and a jar of honey if they misspell my name ever again.

Anyhow, I posted this letter as proof that, yes, someone does indeed like the Heaven and Hell kids from FF Tactics. Not me, but someone. So. There it is.

Quick 'n Dirty Tidbits: Nation asks why no one ever mentions the Lord of the Rings RPG (if you mean the SNES game, probably because it sucked like a black hole), Herander Luciferage notes that I've mentioned cocaine more in two weeks than the rest of the letter column people have combined (cocaine should be an item in an RPG, that increases all your attributes permanently so long as you use it regularly...), several people point out that Chrono Trigger and Dragonball Z both had characters designs by Akira Toriyama, hence the resemblance (he also does the character designs for the Dragon Quest games), Donna asks for a Wild Arms FAQ (here's a big chunky one for ya), Arcadian asks whether I prefer the symphonic sound of FF6 and FFT's music, or the more synthy stuff from FF7 (symphonic all the way - I thought the composition of the music in FF7 was great, but the instrumentation left much to be desire in my eyes), and Fallen Angel has a special message for RPGMaster! that can't be posted on a family site. Heh.

Well, it's Friday, and though I've been doing next to nothing tonight, I've got an important nighttime appointment (some would call it a date) with the special lady I mentioned last week. I'm a lucky, lucky bastard, but expect a verrrrrry late RPGuru update tomorrow as a result. But it'll be up. Let's do the SaGa Frontier thing, kiddies...

- Allan Milligan, lucky bastard

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