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richmond and Saki - June 12th '02- 2:50 am Central Standard Time

So, here it is, my first time hosting Q&A. Nah, don't worry, you don't know me. I'm Jeff Hamann, I was hired back in January, I administer RPGamer's Message Forums, and I do some media work here and there. Actually, you know, if you want to know who I am, just check out my bio. I'm a bit lazy tonight, having just overdosed on Excel Saga, thanks to the first DVD that was released today by ADV Films. Personally, I prefer the fansub. Anyway! Tonight's Q&A, in addition to being hosted by myself, will be co-hosted by some local insanity from the southern parts of Illinois, where cow-tipping is still in style, and driving your tractor to school is more popular than taking the bus.


The sad part of this is that now I've co-hosted Q&A more than richmond, a legitimate staffer. Perhaps sadder is the fact that everything he said about my location is true; cow-tipping is a sport barely less popular than "How Far Can You Spit?" So! I'll be playing Bonnie to richmond's Clyde today, Jesse to his James, Sundance to his... Kid? Uhm... yeah. Bring on the questions (and the fried chicken)!


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Deus Ex: RPG or not?

Greetings, another-person-I-don't-know (not that that's saying much),

I just have a quick question. Is Deus Ex (for the PC and PS2) a first-person shooter with RPG elements, or an RPG built on a first-person shooter style? I ask because, having played the game, I found it to be very RPG oriented, and I can't quite understand why RPGamer doesn't give it any coverage.


Well, that's a bit of a tough call. Not having played Deus Ex, I can't give a solid answer to that, but the fact that the game itself isn't classified as an RPG would generally steer us away from providing coverage for it.

Blame Canada!

Hey- Im personally kinda sick about all this pissing and moaning about Canadian games costing more, so heres my proposition: First step, point and laugh at the silly people with funny accents. 2nd-Gear up the good old army and take out Canada! After effectively crushing their urge to resist our totalitarionist ways, we merge our economies getting out of our current recession. Then, we destroy the canadian money, and make even pricing throughout all of north north america!

1. Whining about how we are totalitarian bastards
2. Dealing with those silly accents.
1. NO more whining about bad pricing
2. Better economy...yes....

Well....i guess i dont have a question...oh welll. That was fun either way.

While I'm certainly not going to call the President of the United States a smart man, I doubt he'd take over another country to stop people from whining about video game pricing. Unless Super Monkey Ball's price shot through the roof.

I haven't much to say on your, er, politically-themed letter except...
I've got my money on Canada.

GameCube, and how to get one.

I haven't really been keeping up with the world of video games. I know, shame on me. I've been funneling my money into anime lately instead. But there is one video game related thing which I desire more than life itself.

Super Smash Bros. Melee.

My accursed friend at college brought up his GameCube for all of one month to tempt and tease the rest of us, and then he and his system were gone forever. You see, he was a senior, and is now a member of the "real world," so we'll likely never see him again. This leaves the rest of us with a dilemma. No GameCube. No more Smash action. And, perhaps the most devastating loss of all... NO ICE CLIMBERS! =(

How will I live without my daily fix of Popo and Nana?! I'll likely not make enough money this summer to justify buying a GameCube, three extra controllers, a memory card, and the game... Is there some other practical way to play the game every so often? Will Rent-A-Center rent me out a GameCube and the game? How about my local Blockbuster Video? I'm desperate to play the game without actually buying it OR the system.

And I ask you, of course, because I am lazy. Too lazy to find this information out for myself.

Please help!


Most of the video rental places around here rent out systems and the like, for a not-so-small amount of money. I'd assume that your area would, too, but it looks like you'd have to *gasp* actually get off your ass and call in to the local Blockbuster! Or get someone else to call for you.

Okay, since buying it is apparently out of the question, you should resort what I call "The Saki Method," or what others call "Bad and Wrong." Here's what you do:

Step #1: Tell everybody you have a terminal illness.
Step #2: Ask them to take you out for lunch.
Step #3: Cackle evilly.
Step #4: Mention casually during the meal, and with a look of longing in your poor eyes, how a GameCube, three extra controllers, a memory card, and the game mean more to you than anything in the whole wide world, and how having those things would make the coming months much easier.
Step #5: Invite all your friends over to play Super Smash Bros. Melee on your brand new GameCube. And cackle evilly again.

Hope that helped!


yo rich and saki!
so uh... what's your favorite musical(s), and why?
personally, mine's moulin rouge, because it has ewan (XD), good music (not all-original, but it's not like they don't give credit where it's due), good costumes, sets, cinematography, and lighting...
anyway... yeah.

My favorite musical would be Les Miserables, without a doubt. It has a fantastic story, I adore the setting, and the music is out of this world. I saw it performed by a travelling Broadway theater group last summer, and it was simply phenomenal. As for Moulin Rouge, I haven't seen it yet, but I intend to. It looks pretty good!

While I will have to agree with the (XD) smiley you give Ewan, Moulin Rouge isn't my favorite musical. I would have to say my favorite is... Les Miserables? Why? Simple! It's got drama, patriotism, great music, angry French, and prostitutes! It's a little like a French soccer match, but with less butt-slapping and more stolen candlesticks.

Bored at the Boards

Hey rich!
[no answer]
Anyways, I was just wondering, what's it like being the adminstrator of the forums at RPGamer?
1. How do you think the new boards have been doing?
2. What's your favorite solution to various problems that arise on the board?
3. Anything else you wanna say about the boards?

And everyone, please send in lots of letters for the next column, I need to have something to answer ;)


1. What's it like? Well, it's not much different than before I was bumped up, except that I can beat people with nailbats when they misbehave. And I do.
2. Favorite solution, eh? There've been so many various ways we've all dealt with things, from changing "illegal" signature pictures into smaller mockeries to simply banning an offender outright. I'd say that my favorite way of dealing with this one idiot, though, would be when I contacted the user's ISP and informed them of the trouble the person had caused. His/Her ISP disconnected the person and deactivated the account. Sucks for him!
3. RPoster.

Lions and tigers and....spoilers.

What exactly is the definition of a spoiler? I mean, I get damn sick of people whining about "Thats a spoiler or this isnt or blah blah blah." I, personally, define spoilers as ANY information about a game, but some people seem to have fuzzy definitions and it's just driving me mad.


Well, Aaron, that's because a spoiler is defined as what spoils a game. Different things spoil different games for different people, so I try to steer clear of giving out any information when anti-spoiler people are around. Then, naturally, people bitch about others being too strict on stopping spoilers. It's the age-old "you can't win" problem. If you don't help the old lady across the street, you're considered an uncaring bastard. If you do help her out, you're assuming that she can't do it by herself. I'd just run her over.

Everybody has a different opinion on spoilers. I, however, subscribe to the theory that a spoiler is anything that has to do with heat and/or the sun.
Example: "The heat was a total spoiler to my pastrami on rye sandwich I left outside!"
Some other spoilers may be, but are not limited to rain, mold, malfunctioning refidgerators, and screaming crazy fanboys who think it's really funny to tell everybody the big plot twist in a game that has yet to reach American shores.

Dalmations, Vegas, and Amputated Feet

.hack looks like its going to be great. Here's my questions:

1. Does it truely come with the .hack OVA?
17. Is this the same Saki that I remember from IRC?
36. Kick Rob for me until he updates the Music section. Oh wait, that's not a question.
42. Can I have a donut?
101. Dalmations
102. Dalmations
111. So, what do you think of Golden Sun? For some reason, I just cannot get into that game.

Ross Bemrose

1. It sure does! Check out the screens in our coverage that I'm too lazy to link to.
36. We've tried. It's not worth the damages that our feet have sustained. Trust me.
42. Krispy Kreme. I've never been there, but I hear it's good! I'll treat you to some of 'em, if you buy!
101. I'd recommend using Claritin D for allergies. Zyrtec and Allegra don't seem to do the trick.
102. "Kleenex with Aloe" is perhaps the worst product you can buy, right up there with Hardee's "Six Dollar Burger" that's really not even six dollars. They coat the stuff in lotion, and you feel like you're blowing your nose into a tangible slimy cloth. Regarding the Kleenex, not the burger, I mean.
111. This used to be my favorite number. But actually, I haven't played Golden Sun. Didn't look all that appealing to me, really. Guess I'll have to side with you, Ross.

1. I dunno... ask richmond.
17. Yes, it is the same Saki from IRC.... and from VEGAS. I see how you are! Thought it was reeaaaaaal cute to tie me up and throw me in the closet, didn't you? Well, I've got your number Ross, and it's..
36.'s 36, because that's the next number.
42. Only if you can take it from my cold, dead hands. *grins toothily and wields her hockey stick menacingly*
101. Ways to Treat Your Woman
102. Ways to Apologize to Your Woman For Attempting Anything in 101 Ways to Treat Your Woman
111. I played about 2 minutes of Golden Sun before my little brother noticed I'd spirited it away from his room. He promptly exploded into "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMS!!!" and "SHE'S TOUCHING MY STUFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!" Ahem. I guess I can't say I really got into it, huh?


Dear Richmond,

Recently, DDRMAX went on sale in Japan. The sales numbers were, in short, disappointing. Meanwhile, DDR Konamix performed quite nicely here in the US. Furthermore, I hear our domestic version of DDR will be much better than the original Japan release, including twenty new songs never before appearing on even a Japan release. What direction do you think Konami is heading in terms of its future DDR strategy?


DDR. My latest obsession. I'd say that it was an unhealthy obsession, but I doubt exercising can be too unhealthy, except maybe for your social life when your ex sees you dancing to the moves when it's not your turn. Unless you don't have an ex, then you're good to go.

Anyway, as far as your question goes in terms of DDR strategy, I'd say that, since Konami has found that Americans as well as Japanese love DDRing, they've decided to focus on the market stateside a bit more, perhaps to "bring them up to speed." Either that, or DDR's been around in Japan so long that it's not that big of a deal anymore. I don't really know, but either way, more DDR is more fun!

Say wha..? Sorry, I couldn't hear you over my cursing "Paranoia". Well, let's hope that Konami's future DDR strategy is to release more of it. Fair, yeah?

People Who Need To Get a Life

1.) Given that I have a motor that produces 7,890 inch-ounces of torque at 6000 RPM with no load at the shaft, and it is connected via 1:1 gearing with four feet of #45 roller chain to the hub of an 80 pound flywheel with a drag coefficient of .02 from the air and a friction coefficient of .05, what is the maximum RPM under load that I can expect? Assume that my battery amp sourcing is infinite, for an unlimited period of time. Also assume that the flywheel does not come into contact with anything, and that the motor is stationary and the flywheel freespinning.

2.) How many boards would the Mongols hoarde if the Mongol Horde got bored?

3.) Given that a=b and b=c, what does d equal?

4.) Given that Squall's head can take approximately 1100 joules of momentary impact without splatting all over the wall, what would the minimum required tip speed of a 70 pound (31.82 kg) flywheel that is one meter in diameter to store the rotational kinetic energy to splatter Squall's head all over the wall?

Thanks, these questions have been bothering me for a really long time.

-Brian, Team Glacier Robotics

1. 42.
2. Enough of them to hit you with and keep you down for the count.
3. Your mom. Oh dang!
4. The minimum speed is the maximum velocity of a swallow laden with coconuts."

Hi, okay, my name is Saki. I'll be taking care of you today. Look, we're giving you a new shirt, oooo! See? It goes on backwards, isn't that neat? Now you can give yourself hugs all the time! Isn't your new room soft? Go on, try out those pillow walls!


Why does it burn when I pee?


richmond: Don't piss over a candle.
Saki: Have you tried stepping out of the lava?

do you watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force? It's a wonderful show. Funniest 15 minutes of the every-other-week. Sundays at 11:30 eastern. On Adult Swim on Cartoon Network. Mission Hill is nice too. Do you like flowers? How hard are the Quest Mode games in Tactics Ogre tKoL? What happens if you stab a crab? What's the cheapest chinese buffet you've ever been to? I have one in MD that charges $6/50 for lunch.

-Wuh Cheeh, Ancient Asian master of the whip (pronounced like the sound effect)

Both: Yes.


I think the only problem with tonight's Q&A was the "Q" part. If nobody receives any questions, it's pretty damned hard to answer them, no? People, keep sending those questions in, regardless of whom the host is. I'm sure you have no idea who guifa is, and I'm sure I don't either, but mail him questions for tomorrow's Q&A! In any case, I had a great time with Saki tonight, and hopefully we can do it again. Host Q&A, I mean. Later!


Well, buckaroos, it's been surreal. I hope you all enjoyed my co-hosting as much as you enjoy taking a sharpened pencil to your eyes. Now git off muh lawn!

Honkey Tonk Woman

rich "We're dead to the world" mond

Saki "I met a gin-soaked barroom queen in Memphis" Wright

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