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   Oh, Kitty, Where Art Thou?  

Zachary 'ASV' Lewis - March 3rd '02- 9:30 Pacific

Well, it would appear that since all the reviewers (myself included) were naughty and took last night off, that we're being summarily punished by Paws vacating this evening, herself. Little did she know that all the other reviewers were taking tonight off, as well. So, I get this lumped on me at the last moment (or very nearly), and have to bring in the ragtag Q&A team to polish off this guest hosting fest. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. Kitty claws in your flesh prevent complaining 'round these parts.

TRC: See what happens when you idle on IRC? You get to do Q&A. Maybe that's just me. For all those reading this, I am TRC, the tyrannical turkey of RPGuides. Please send me guides. Send me Guides. Let's get this column thing on.

Castomel: I think I'll introduce myself in the form of an anacrostic.
Can you believe
Anyone is
Stupid enough
To think this is in any way
Of decent enough quality to
Merit being used in the form of
Even my introduction?
Let's be honest: You'd better, because I am.
Ah.. it's just like I'm in grade 5 again.. except now, I'm exposing myself to horrible, public embarrassment. Bah. I hate poetry.

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Roll Out The Red Carpet

Greetings (monks sing) PAWS
I got an idea on how Mog bosses Umaro around. Maybe if Umaro ate Mog he'd die since Moogles might be poisonous. Also of course I use the monks out for females like yourself.
Imperial Mog

That makes a strange kind of sense, like much of what you say, Mog. Now, if only we could nail down how exactly moogles are poisonous, we'd be set to win the RPG-Pulitzer... Or something...
I've got a question for you, though, Mr. Imperial Mog, sir. How do you feel about the treatment of moogles in general lately? I mean with no moogles in FFX except for dolls, you must be worried about finding a she-moogle, ne?
And, while I'm not female, or named Paws, I'll take the monks singing my hello, too  ^_^

Of Tatoos & Laser Surgery


You said that on your ad banner there is a copy of the tattoo on your arm. Well, upon viewing the tattoo on your arm, there's a bit of a... discrepancy, shall we say. You see, the tattoo on your arm, the one that is supposed to be pazu in katakana seems to have an error in it. The second character, su, can be accented to make the sound zu, as you probably know well. This is done by adding a tan tan, of course. But the tattoo on your arm does not seem to have a tan tan, unlike your ad banner. It looks like a circle, which makes the character su completely nonsensical. Circles only apply to ha, hi, hu, he and ho. It could be that the picture is just bad quality, but it looks very much like a circle not a tan tan. Uh oh...


From the pic in question, it seems you're correct. I hope that Paws has good health insurance for all the laser removal she's going to be needing...

Enter The Clow- Err... Co-Guest Hosts

'ello Paws... er, great introduction... on with the questions I s'pose...

1. Why is the PC so bloody resistant to console-style RPGs? Why can't commercial developers realize the mouse is not meant for- never was meant for -RPGs?! WHY?!! *crys*
2. Does RPGamer ever plan to extend its coverage to freeware RPGs? (I have a feeling I know the answer...)
3. When will MMORPG developers turn from their idiotic ways of trying to make the game last as long as possible to actually making the game fun?
4. Have you ever played Deus Ex? If so, do you consider it an RPG? I sure do... an FPS/RPG hybrid but definitely an RPG (Exp, inventory, better-than-average-story its got everything that an RPG should need...)
5. =^_^=
Enough pointless questions.


Castomel: Head of News
1. Well, you can't fault them for trying...It's not as though they've got much choice, and besides, there are gamepads out there for the truly diehard PC gamer. Besides, if console-style RPGs were tailored for the PC, they wouldn't be called 'console-style', now would they? In the end, it's more a case of familiarity than anything else. Console RPGs feel the way they do for a number of reasons, and while using a controller is high among those, it's not the only thing they've got to overcome (for instance, I rushed through my playthrough of FF7 PC because of the ass-awful MIDI and the fact that my computer chair is much, much, less comfortable than sprawling on the couch/floor).
2. My contact with Freeware RPGs is mostly limited to annoying emails I delete. I can't speak for the other department heads, but as far as I'm concerned... no.
3. When making the game fun becomes more profitable than making it long.
4. Well, I've never played it, but I'm glad to see you like something. I was beginning to worry there :)

TRC: Head of RPGuides
1. Because of inertia, and the fact that most of the time PC RPG players are different people then console players. And in most cases they use the keyboard to make up for the lack of joypad. Which is why PC to console ports suck most of the time.
2. Freeware rpgs? You mean those things people make in their spare time? Since our coverage of them is 0% right now, I can gladly say we plan to make it 4x what it is tomorrow.
3. Fun Fact: MMORPG companies make more money the more you play it, whether because it is fun or long. Therefore they don't care. Also it is a matter of taste, I find some fun, and some not. Maybe they just don't appeal to your taste you freak. (I'm so nice, eh?)
4. I have played Deus EX, I have loved Deus EX, until I left it for hitman. And yes I do consider it a partial RPG at least, though it isn't my decision as to whether we cover it. It is up to Firemyst. So bug him.
5. -_-   o_-   O_O   -_-

Many Questions

Hello, favourite host Paws (Are you actually a kitty like some people imply, or do you just have paws, or none of the above?)!

I actually have no questions for you, but I'll just have to think of some, because you won't know how long it takes me! Ha! ...Okay. Yay, you printed my letter-less letter! Goog never prints me. Of course, I've only written 2 letters to it, but... Question time!
1. In your opinion, has the RPG industry become too graphics-fixated? I mean, sure, many games have pretty graphics, but I don't really think the story and gameplay have suffered greatly. Look at FF1, for example. That game had crappy graphics AND crappy story! Then look at FF7. YAY!
2. How come no one lives in Sweden?
3. Have you had a period where you just don't want to play videogames? I'm going through that right now, and it... sucks, to be honest. I don't really feel like playing anything, and I have like 5 unfinished games to play! And this has been going on for a couple of months. Am I the only one feeling like this?
4. What's your thoughts on emulation? Do you play fan-translated games? I think it's great someone actually CARES about these old games. Otherwise, I would never have been able to play Seiken Densetsu 3, Live A Live, Tales of Phantasia, and a score of other really good games.


TRC quotes:
1. Confucious say: "As console get better, graphics get better." It's just evolution. Newer consoles can handle better graphics, so companies make them purdier. And as the company gets to understand the console better too. (Look at the difference between FF9 and FF7)
2. Come again? One of the guys I talk to daily online lives in Sweden. It's a nice place to live. Lot's of hotties.
3. If you mean games at all, then no. But I have gone through phases where I don't want to play RPGs, or don't feel like finishing the ones I have. My rule is, if I haven't beaten it 2 months after I started playing, chances are I won't. My stack is... 7 games right now, I think.
4. Looking at how fast ROM sites are killed I think someone does care about them. And repeat after me kids, playing illegal ROMs is always bad. Mmkay. Don't try to rationlize it at all. It's wrong, get over it. You could play those games, it's called importing. And FYI I do play some fan translated games, but not for long. I can't stand playing console games on my computer for some reason. I'm just a freak, I guess.

ASV postulates:
1. Graphics are important, but they can be taken too far. A good example of that syndrome would be Legend of Dragoon. Very pretty, but not that great all around.
2. Plenty of people live in Sweden! Like... The Swedish bikini team, for example.
3. Not wanting to play videogames is a sign of insanity, I'm fairly sure. On the plus side, it means that you were normal before. Seriously, though... I've been playing games since I was too early to know what I was doing. If I ever got the urge to quit playing them, I'd know something was seriously wrong with me.
4. Well... Emulation is a mixed bag. Although I'd like to say that I endorse it, I simply don't. I can either import or wait for anything I might feel compelled to play on an emulator, so that should answer that question.

Lunar Light!

Hey Paws and whoever else,

I read your review of Lunar:SSSC (just got the rerelease, great game), and I was just wondering what you thought of Lunar 2, if you've played it. My friend is stuck at Zophar, because the game won't let him leave the area and he has only one angel's tear and a few starlites. Any advice? Also, favorite Lunar (either game) character? I'm partial to Lemina myself...

Justin Harwood

Castomel ponders:
I've soured considerably on Lunar games over the past couple of years, but I didn't mind it at the time. Unfortunately, it was entirely too long, and I didn't find the plot particularly engaging (read: I don't remember a single thing that happened after the first hour of the game).
1. If there's nobody else in the room, cry. Then microwave the CD and take monastic vows.
2. No thanks. I really don't like any of them all that much.

ASV percolates:
I really don't have much of an opinion since I haven't played the PSX version. Lunar 2 for the SegaCD is almost better than Silver Star, though, in my opinion.
1. I assume you're referring to the Working Designs remake? In that case, I can't help you. Haven't played Lunar 2 on the PSX yet.
2. Luna's the only character I've had much contact with in the PSX remake of the game. From the SegaCD titles, I'd probably go with Luna again, though. Call me strange.

Amano... Goofy... O_o?

Reviewers! I only have a few questions, and they concerns Kingdom Hearts.

1. Is there Disney animation FMV in the game?
2. Will there be appearances by Disneys Gargoyles franchise?
3. Does this mean Disney will start making Moogle hats alongside the Mickey ones?
4. Who wouldn't kill to see Amano draw Goofy and Donald?

~ The Glutton

TRC squabbles:
1. Though I am neither furry, nor a reviewer I can help. Doubtful, since most Disney animation (well the kind most associated with Disney) is Cel shaded, so it is doubtful.
2. I wish. I love that show. Doubtful though, since most of the characters shown so far have been from the movies. I want to see some Dark Wing Duck darn it.
3. Confuscious says: "If there is money to be made, Disney shall market test it" You know Disney would make hardcore porn if they could still get away with kid's animation. Wait. They own Miramax. Nevermind.
4. O god, the humanity, the humanity. ~wipes mind of that image~ I'd kill to make sure that doesn't happen. I might kill just for being suggested that.

Castomel salivates:
1. That'd be a logical conclusion to draw, but actually, there hasn't been any official word on this yet.
2. <shudder> Disney.. Franchise.. Do they really need money so badly that they have to churn out craptacular sequels to Peter Pan and Cinderella? The originals have class, but these new ones look like those old ripoff videos you always see in Wal-Mart. Anyhow, in response to your question, no, there hasn't been any indication of Gargoyles being included, and the game's release date is fast approaching, so the likelihood of more characters getting in is shrinking with each passing day.
3. *sings* M-O-O-G-L-E...H-A-T-S... nah, it just doesn't have a good ring to it.
4. Me. I have no desire to see Goofy look like an anorexic poodle.


Do you pronounce RPGamer:

A) Arr-Pee-Gamer
B) Arr-Pee-Jee-Gamer
C) Other

Heh heh...pee

-- LordBrian

P.S. - Your mom

ASV prods: I'll take 'A' for 500, Vanna... ... ... Remind me not to mix my game show catch phrases in the future, ne? And, if my mom, then... Your cousin..?

The Last Laugh:

Well... Miss Kitty is gone, and the column is finished, and I must say that this has been a dubious amount of fun. Strange that so much work gets done on this column for such a seemingly small result. But them's the cards, and I'm not in a hurry to get shot in Reno, so I won't cheat. Peace out brothas and sistahs!

ASV "review writing fool"
TRC LB: tell your mom to stop calling me; it was once and we were drinking

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