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   With Mistress Nightshadow.  
The Amazing Anthromorph - December 8th '00- 10:00 Eastern Standard Time

Thanks to everyone who sent in computer tips. If I hadn't already tried it, I did jiggle with it, and alas nothing seemed to work. I'm going back to my older motherboard now, so I'll have to see what new parts work in it. Maybe I can save up enough money to buy one in a hock shop or something. I also need to get a new monitor...mine's almost dead. Keeps turning itself off.

Well, since I forgot to ask MN for an introductory paragraph and she didn't volunteer one and I can't call because I don't think the rest of the family would enjoy waking up that early, I'll just go on with the column now.

Encore! Encore!

Ask Paws
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Recent Q&A's


12-07-00
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Dust Mop Required:
The Archives
I need to do some of these again...
Listen to me!
In the PlayStation:
Final Fantasy Tactics
Ooo, I just got a bard!
Babbling thoughts by Paws

Pokémon Neo set, due out Dec 15th.

Wonder if we'll get a 1st Ed. box?

Ooo, I need to work on Mythri more ^^;

Hi Tomm! Hi Keith! I'm not Veronica!
Size of your Cannon, Part 2

Well, hi!

I can't say that I'm one of your absolute dedicated readers because I only go to RPGamer on occasion, but your column in keeps bringing me back. Who says that Q&A died with the departure of Thor? (lol) Anyways I just wanted yo say that I like your humor and the way you tease all us guys with your feminine ways.

My real point in writing was to give you my input on the 'It's not the size of your cannon that counts' post on your 12.0.6 column. I think that the only case where the hero is not the strongest or does not have the best weapon is Suikoden II (and maybe I). The hero does not have the strongest weapon and he casts alot of healing spells with his rune. There are numerous characters that are stronger than him and a few better than magic. He is just naturally well rounded, but its nothing that you cant do with most of your other 107 troops. Also, he has the Twin Destiny Fangs and they far from the normal sword or sword-like weapons.

Well, even though this probably won't get posted, thanks for reading.

Your fan whose love for your column is growing the more and more reads (along with other parts of his anatomy ;-) ), Argo

(aka Brandon M Smith)

MN says:
Well, feminine we are, but what are we to tease you about, hmm? Unforttunately I haven't played Suikoden II or I, because I'm in the middle of nowhere, meaning I see little at all.
Oh yes, what are you doing not looking at RPGamer? You BETTER have been playing RPGs boy. [Nah, I'm not really that evil. It wouldn't hurt to walk in a little more often though... would it?]
Anyway, what made you think we wouldn't post it? Just a tip. Next time we're around, hit the showers first to cool off? ;)

Paws says:
Naughty Brandon. Anyway, I have to both agree and disagree with you on Suikoden I. The main hero is equipped with a bo, it seems, but it gets to be pretty good power wise, and his magic is, well, plain twinky, as all space magic tends to be.
Other suggestions of games with un-uvertwinky games were greatly appreciated, I believe I responded to most of them. Oh, and Bobbofatt (happy 19th!) pointed out to me that Terra can use the Atma Weapon, which gets to be pretty twinky; however, my couterargument was that she didn't get the most HP and therefore it wasn't as powerful on her as it would be on another =^^=

Lost Appeal

Paws and Mistress Nightshadow:

Hi hi ladies ^_^ I was hoping one of you could shed some light on a weird issue I come across. I will play a new RPG, it will *own* me (I rant to my friends about how it's a must buy), then 35 hours into it.. POOF! I set it down, and don't play it for another 2 months.. or ever. I just stop caring. The latest victim is Star Ocean 2. I got up to the field of intellegence, let out an ambivilent "ehh..*yawn*" and decided to throw in LoM and work on that. (Which is very very cool). I dread the same thing will happen though.. I am currently backlogged about 11 RPG's that i have not *touched*, and I'd hate to waste these great games. I used to think I was just playing it too much and got sick of it, but then I realized that I am so busy I'll maybe log in only 5 hours of game time a week. :( Has this ever happened to you?

Bai-Bai!

Tenchi_Gamer

MN says:
I've seen that happen before... It's happened to me, but I tend to find my reasons for dropping it are more obvious. [ie. study for exam or something] And funnily enough it was Star Ocean 2. I like it a lot and all but.... Don't know either. It's sitting next to me and I'm playing Breath of Fire 3. Go figure.
I think it's a one off case though, from what I hear, Star Ocean 2 seems to be the culprit. Maybe the game was designed to play all in one hit. Allocating a small amount of time constantly doesn't quite work... Well, that's my one and a half cents. :)

Paws says:
Seems to me you're thinking too much of it like a duty, something that /has/ to be done. Sit back, and relax, for all's sake ;) Nothing says there's a minimum time requirement to play on games weekly. Just play at your own pace.
Now, me, I'm afraid I can't take my own advice. I play a minimum of 3 hours a day of games no matter what I'm doing =^^=.

 
Bios

Hey, Paws, when ya gonna finish your Staff Bio page? It's been sittin' there, unfinished, for a long time! C'mon! Get to it! And you, Nightshadow girl! You do one, too! C'mon, we don't have all week now........

........sorry..... don't be mad at me.....

Red Swoon

Paws says:
It's on the list of a zillion other minor things to do. I'll get to it eventually, but I'd like to have my new banner ready before I put it in. You'll just have to wait and see.

MN says:
Ahem, it's MISTRESS Nightshadow. After me... MISTRESS Nightshadow.... Ok? Nightshadow girl sounds kinda weird, and it suggests that you don't read editorials... Do you? And anyway, mine is there already, just look at the main page of Editorials, but for those who feel like they could do it alone click here. All I have to say is good luck. :)

 
Pokémon TCG

Wow! Paws plays the Pokemon TCG? They HAVE that in Canada? ^_^

Well this opens up a whole new slew of questions I'm just dying to ask you.

Many Bothoms died to allow me to ask these questions

1. What type of deck do you use? Is it original or an archetype?
2. Whats your take on the Super Trainer Showdown? Did you attend one, or a qualifier?
3. What do you think of Prop-15-3?
4. Is the Space Weedle an elaborate hoax?
5. Is a maple bar a doughnut?
6. Are you a 'serious' or 'casual' player. :) You must be pretty good if your going to be Gymleader for a bit.

Wow, Paws plays Pokemon. Suddenly, I feel like I'm not alone.

Geoffrey 'ePaulson

MN says:
Er... Well, I think it's mostly a Paws question, but I do have to tack one thing onto it. Australia's at the VERY bottom of the release chain when it comes to just about anything, and we've got it here. [Which is amazing, trust me. ANYTHING from the US in games arriving here is a godsend. ;)]
I couldn't answer it personally though, because I'm a very green and hopeless Magic: The Gathering player. I just got belted three times maybe thirty minutes ago. And each time I was winning too... *sniff*

Paws says:
Oooh, TCG questions. Yummy :9~
1. I have, currently, 14 decks, which I use in random order, since I deliberately don't play weakness/resistance in normal league play. My last two decks I built were a 'Naughty Mankey' deck (mankey, brock's mankey, blaine's mankey, and a couple primeapes), and a sandshrew/slash, Brock's sandshrew/slash, and Kabuto/tops deck. The second works pretty well, especially since very few people use grass at the moment. Most of the decks floating around in the league are original creations, and feature heavily gym challenge/heroes.
2. STS is pretty cool. I dislike large tournaments in general because I find they're terribly cutthroat. I haven't heard of any STS's in Canada yet, so I haven't attended one.
3. Prop-15-3 is a pretty cool idea on paper. I just think they shouldn't place the '3' rule on pokémon, just trainers. It would help trash a couple of annoying Wiggly decks we have in the League; I'm not against them, I'm against playing them all the time. One of the reasons I came up with a couple new fighting decks.
4. Never heard of it, so it isn't a real promo card I don't believe.
5. No :)
6. I'm a very serious player and collector. I've been playing since March of '99 (TCG came out Dec '98), and I've gotten several of my friends into it on the way :) I bugged the local card store to host the pokémon league since I heard of it in April; finally in about August/Sept he broke down and agreed. I've been a coach since the first week of the League (I believe I was the first coach actually), and the first non-employee Gym Leader. I usually Gym Leader on Sundays (our league is Sat and Sun, 1:00pm-3:30pm), and Saturdays if I'm there. I have 7 badges (I missed a season due to the flu), and I'm almost at my eighth. I only have 120 points to go :) I also have a complete set of every set out so far (some are 1st Ed., some aren't), and I'm absolutely drooling over Neo. Victory Road starts this Sunday locally, so I should be snaring a sweet little Cool Porygon by next weekend.
Pokémon players unite ;)

 
Rantings and whatnot.

Hello Ladies

I was thinking on this, what if there was a RPGamer gym set of pokemon cards. What would the cards be and which staffer has what cards. Also I noticed that you couldn't get rid of Happosai. Since he'd obviously come since there are two nice ladies like yourself, use the one inherent skill that all females have. The giant mallet from an invisible space (tm).
I also want to see the RPGamer comic where the staff goes on a great adventure to find legendary treasure or just blow stuff up. It'd also be a farce with mocking of the great book of RPG cliches.

I also have parents who dislike my gaming. They critisise me an daily basis and also since they don't understand and that it seems they don't consider RPG's "normal" types of games. But I respond that the money I spend isn't done on other things like drugs so ha. But at least it's not as bad as you have it Paws since I'm a male and don't have to deal with gender stereotypes which are just dumb.

I got a new idiots of the week, the drivers of St. Louis, Missouri. Just a slight dusting of snow on the roads and thousands of accidents occur because they can't figure out how to drive. I'd swear I thought this was the deep south where it snows maybe every other year.

Just remember that the world is designed for ignorant sheep and the intellegent independents like us are repressed. Just like you said Paws "I'm not normal and I don't care."

Can you also go through a walkthrough on how to do a review since I want to do some and I can do some help on emptying the reviewless list.

Imperial Mog

MN says:
Oh Happosai, oh no, he's no problem at all. I got three slight advantages over him.

1. I am very wary of my surroundings, meaning I'll pick him up coming from miles away.
2. I packed a heavy duty exploding flare gun with flares to go...
3. Did I mention I'm a very good shot? ;)

I think he'd be running with very little clothing in next to no time.... including his own. They would have burned away in next to no time. :) [That's a warning for you! Try it and you'll won't pull back just a stump. You won't pull anything at all. In fact you won't be pulling.]
... DRUGS? You bad, bad boy. You should be spending it on something a little more legal... like drinking? [You DO want the same effect, don't you?]

Ahh, I hear something really of interest... editorials. :) Well, we assault cliches with very few exceptions like there's no tomorrow, just look into the archives to see how much we don't apparently like them. As for parents... well parents are parents. They rather trust the devil you know than the devil you don't know.
And of COURSE none of us are normal. Really, if normal meant being X Y and Z, life would pretty dull, if you ask me. :) I'm probably the weirdest of the lot [Ok, maybe our neutered Googleshng is weirder] and I like it that way. :)
St louis, Missouri? Where's that? Someone tell me, and I'll avoid it by 300 miles when I go to America or Canada eventually.
Reviews I'll leave to Paws. I'm just a poor editorial writer, after all. ;)

Paws says:
Wow, that's a lotta randomness. Let's see if I can keep my head straight!
Hmm, we have a small enough staff (20 of us) to actually make a small, but decent, set. Of course Mikel's card would be the most powerful, nobody would understand Google's, and mine would be constantly changing. Mikel and I would collect the entire set and nobody else on staff would really care, except maybe MN ;)
As for Happosai, he's okay as long as he doesn't...steal...any...hey, gimme back my workshirt bra! ARG!
We already had a cartoon where I go off on a Indiana Jones quest to find the mystical, uh, salt. What else could the staff possibly look for that would be cooler than the salt? ;)
Yes, yes, stereotypes bite the big one. See the first letter, way up there? I may be female, but I'm not feminine. You call me cute and I will hurt you. Everyone does anyway, though. Arg.
The same thing happened when we drove through Atlanta Georgia a few years ago on the way to Florida for the winter holidays. It snowed barely 1/2 an inch, but everything, and I mean basically EVERYTHING, was locked tight, at 4 in the afternoon! Wussies.
The best part about not being normal is knowing it =^^=

Aaah, reviews, now something for me to sink my teeth into! Okay, here goes:
1. In order to submit a review to PsoV, you have to have defeated the game a minimum of one time. I'd suggest for multiple ending games and to score replay value well to play it at least once more.
2. Sit down and think about the good, the bad and the ugly. Start off with some basic facts, and jot them down. You'll use these basic facts to build your paragraphs around.
3. Score each criteria. Some people wait till after they've written (like Jake), but I find it's easier to stay on a thought track when you have some direction. You can always change the scores to fit with what you've said in the review afterwards.
4. Give positive and negative details about each criteria. Make sure you are making a point, and that you are supporting one side clearly, or alternatively, no side at all (ie, you're writing something about a score of 5, which is average). You'll want to give enough detail so that someone sitting down to play the first time has a good idea what to expect going into it.
5. Round out your writing with an intro, conclusion, and paragraph hooks. Study the order of your paragraphs and change as necessary; they aren't required to be in the same order as the ratings, as long as all the ratings are covered in some form. Point your scores against what you've said in the review, and make sure they balance (if you've given it a 3, you'll want to make sure you didn't sing how amazing it was). Finally, choose an overall score.
6. Pick out screens you'd like to use in your review. Make sure to include subtitles for them, as well. The balance I like (besides the obvious logo) is one battle screen, one exploration screen, and one interaction (of some sort) screen, but you can go with anything.
7. This is optional, but you can throw it all into the HTML template at this point if you're handy with HTML.
8. Submit to reviews@rpgamer.com.

 
 
Quick Questions (Answered only by MN)

Just wondering why there are editorials on player's guides. I personally think they're good read....yes I have fun just reading them even if I've never played the games they're covering!
- Beedrill51

Well, you have to remember that to survive in the editorial world you need three things. Good eyesight, body armour and a sniper rifle... Wait a second, that's Counterstrike... well, almost. Good entertainment if you're just a specator, but indefinitely more fun if you're in the thick of it. Just make sure you pack an RPG or two while you're at it. The one thing which Counterstrike doesn't have. :P
As for why there's player's guides? Playonline.com of course. It's the new craze I believe.
*snip*
That's all for my stupid questions, now the imprtant one...who should i wash next?
~Miguel

As for the washing... You did Princess Monokoke, Evangelion, and Gundam Wing... How about all the Slayers next? ;)

Finals suck! They force me to write papers, so that I have no time to... uhh... *sheepishly* ...write papers about other stuff.
-Raincrystal

Er... You think it'd be a good thing to tell them that I have absolutely no classes until March next year Paws? *Thwap* ... all right! Wait a second, where did you steal that from?

I hope you two are having a good day, one last question though... is RPGamer based in Canada? And are ALL of you in Canada? I hope not, cuz if I ever plan on being a staffer, I'll have to move away from the land of no leader!!! Something I enjoy laughing about everyday I flip past CNN.
Ender

Well, unless someone managed to tow Australia and link it to the artic circle, [In which case, I'm wondering why the kangroos aren't wearing jumpers as they bounce to work, why there's still hundreds of people getting suntans at the local beaches and why I haven't snuck across the border into Canada yet.] I'm fairly sure that RPGamer isn't based in Canada or Australia. It's mostly American, so if you bid your way in through extort... um, hard work and a little luck, you shouldn't happen to be a walking zombie because of lack of sleep. [Take Alanna and myself for instance. We're both very nocturnal. She's a vampire who can't stand daylight and I'm a girl who just thinks she's in North America for some reason even though it just hit 35C today. :P]

Hey Paws!
The quote, "I'm not normal, I know it, I don't care." is sung by Ace of Base in "Never Gonna Say I'm Sorry" from the CD The Bridge.
I think that answers it sufficiently. ^_^ Do I get a kitty face?

-Terra

It's days like this I wish I listened to more music... *sigh* What? You wanted a tilde or a cat face? How do I know you're not lying? :P

Paws: Yes, you do. You get the flickered ear face: =^^`=

Played FF IX yet? I'm loving it personally. Anyhoo, I see many people I know are ignoring the chocobo side quest their first go-round on the game, so I thought I'd give everyone some good reasons to do so.

1. You have to to get everything. If that's enough for you, you may stop now.
2. It's extremely funny to see that chicken-thing fly, wobbling all the way.
3. Position Choco high above a forest and push the (land) button. He falls way too fast for comfort.
4. Going to Mognet Caentral. Spiffy FFVI moogle theme remix.
5. Playing chocobo hot 'n' cold. Oh, wait, that gets really boring...nice spanish music, tho...
In conclusion, do the chocobo quest! It's fun!

Justin "Kweh??? What the!!???!!!" Harwood

You know, you're probably the only two people in the world right now who can't play FFIX tight now. I'm sitting right next to a US copy of FFIX right now, and yet I can't play it because I lack an EMU that can run it well enough to make it playable, a NTSC TV with a Playstation, or a Playstation somehow configured to be played on a monitor through a TV out card. Any tips post to me and not to Paws. She's got the opposite problem... no FFIX.

The Closing:


Meh, nothing witty today. I'm gonna go chow on some leftovers from the girl's night out last night with the ladies I work with at my RL job.


Paws"Trash Can Nachos"@RPGamer.com
Ooo, lala! Jay! *swoon*

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