The Oracle
The Big Show
The Oracle, Brad Lohr - October '99- 01:45 PDT

Oooh.. damn. On the run. They wouldn't let me get on the net with my new cellular modem on the plane over here... but tonight is my first column during my BRAD WORLD TOUR.. that's right.. RPGamer columns from all over the world! Today's column is from Egypt, land of a lot of dirt. They call it sand, but it's just dirt that's all the same color, where there isn't enough water for it to be mud. Anyway, a pic at the bottom of the column of me in the desert. Lookin' cool, as always.

Okay, not as always. Shut up. I'll bang ya up real good-like, cravate-man! .. speaking of cravates, I've got a couple Suikoden wavs for ya'll. The beautiful voices of my readers have called forth and pretty much all agree. But you can listen to them all. Vote on the best voice, winner gets a cookie. Voice one: Sidhe sends us an evil laugh, some french which roughly translates to "You like to kiss neckties" and a pretty much universally agreed upon pronunciation. This one is not a neat sounding woman, (sorry), but instead, Psycho Mantis from Metal Gear Solid. Almighty Cheese & Bishounen Goddess Shosetsu thinks she sounds like a guy, but, honestly, I don't think so. And well, I'm the host. You know it. I know-- </brak> ahem.

Other than that, I'll be travelling around the world.. scoping out the RPG market in other countries, and practicing my bad spanish on people who don't even know it's bad! Here's to great American self-righteousness!

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If you send me a dollar, I'll spit on the pyramids!

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Brad Now Playing:
FF6, Thousand Arms
In Brad's Head
Hunter's head doesn't have much going on.. it's because he's spent too much time drooling over Thousand Arms chicks.
Course, I say that without having played any of the game myself... so if there are no more coherent thoughts that issue forth from this section any longer... I guess that's a positive review for the game...
...did I just infer that there are normally coherent thoughts that issue forth from this section of my column?!.. I'm so disillusioned.
Angel Armor in Xenogears...
Hey Brad,

I'm at the end of Xenogears; all I have left to do is defeat Deus. I've heard that anti-angel armor can protect my gears much better than extra armor DXs. Well, I've searched the entire Xenoworld (or so I think) and can't find it. Do I need to buy it or find it? Where?? If I need to buy it, is there any better way to earn money than by collecting fangs and scales at anima relic 2? (I'm getting kind of sick fighting those croaker tribes). Please help! And how do you get Fei's final deathblow? Do you have to be on lvl 99? I'm on 73 or so right now. It says 100% after the last deathblow, but I can't use it in battle. What's going on?


Well, I actually looked this one up, and so far as my sources say, there is no way to get Angel Armor stuff from shops. So you've gotta earn it from enemies. The cheapy stuff is actually dropped quite frequently by different angels inside the final dungeon, but the good stuff is the "Anti-Angel Sys" .. which basically completely nulls those nasty things' angel attacks. As I can personally remember, I got the strongest Angel Armor (which may only have been the absorb 50% of Angel attacks one) from fighting the centaur-like angels. Also, as I recall, the Armor is cumulative, so if you get two of the 50%'ers, well, that's 100% defense.. you just might have to give up your Z-Charger. :)

Hey. Chrono Trigger boy. I got yer Rainbow right do--
I have a couple of questions and a few quippy, satisfying remarks. First, I'm a huge Chrono Trigger buff, it's my favorite RPG and so naturally, I'm hoping they'll bring the remake over. They have to. They just do. I said so. But anyways, in Chrono Trigger I heard of an ending and even read about it a few times, where Marle and Lucca, I believe, rate the guys in the game. It sounds pretty bogus, but just to be sure, is this ending real or is it the hoax I think it is? Also, I got in a huge debate with a friend of mine over which was easier: Chrono Trigger and Final Fantasy VII. I still think FF7 was WAY easier (Godoh was the most difficult boss in FF7 for me, that ain't saying much). At least in Chrono Trigger, the final bosses put up something faintly resembling a fight. Which one do you think was easier?


The ending where Marle and Lucca rate 'the boys' is in fact a true ending, which I have seen, though I'd be in a world of hurt to tell you exactly when you need to waste Lavos in order to get to that ending.. I'll ask the Spencefather, he knows all that pertains to Chrono Trigger. Not only that, but he's spending too much time coding Webcam32, and needs to get himself some funkey with the monkey now and then. If you know what I mean. ;) ;) Heh, as for the port over to the U.S., I might not get it, even if they do send it over. Why? Because I've got the SNES cart. So nyah :P :P .. as for FF7 vs CT.. well, in my opinion, FF7 just gets the polygonal smack kicked out of it by Chrono Trigger. I loved the combo attacks in CT, and just the story was more fun. CT has enough replay value for 5 games, and not only that.. the music just kicks. FF7 was easier, yes.

Homey! Dude! Buddy! Dude! Buddy! Homey!
Hey Big bad Daddy Brad macker pimp fly supa west coast hoodlum daddy!

What did you think of Final Fantasy Tactics? Personally, I thought it was the coolest game I've ever played, except when Orlandu comes into the game and takes away the difficulty factor. Is there any word on Tactics 2, and is there a decent sound track for Tactics I could find? Thanks in advance bro,


Yeah, it got way too easy when you took Orlandu into your party. I suggest to everyone to never use him if you'd like any sort of real challenge in that game. Also, I like Tactics Ogre better. More people, more strategy, and frankly, I like how much replay TO has over FFT. The choices are cool, there are so many paths you can take. If you're a graphics nut.. well, go play your FFT. If you're a strategy nut, go play a real game like Tactics Ogre.. where you have to work over 70% of the game before you get a life spell.. and you have to have a special class, (one that's hard to get, to boot!) to use it.

That and liches just frickin' kick BUTT. 'nuff said. Homey.
Heh, ba-dum, ba-dum.. Shaker's a Lich!

Burn the playhouse down!
*** FF8 Spoilers, kinda ***

Hey Brad!

(Sigh, you made me copy and paste this cause I tried to help Veronica get back at you.)

I'm wondering.. In FF8, what exactly does devour do? I read somewhere that it adds to your stats, but I haven't seen it add to anything. It's still funny for it's "animation", though. And, um.. Did you know that you can get Vandal Hearts for 10 dollars at Funcoland? Good price for a neat game.

Everybody wants a rock to wind a piece of string around!


Everyone DOES want a rock to wind a piece of string around..! Devour basically does just that. You eat enemies. Certain enemies will give you certain things, such as poisoning, or HP, or in some rare cases, (that is, for certain enemies), devour will cause you to gain strength, or max HP, or other goodies. I did already post a list for Devour, so go check the archives for more info. As for Vandal Hearts, I bought it at full price.. back when it first came out. And I'll buy Vandal Hearts 2 the same, I love those games. Lots of guys on the field means more complex strategy. And I'm a strat nut.

Suikoden 1 to 2 data loading happiness!
Hey Brad,

This may be wrong, but it says several places (Maybe just one in the instruction booklet, but I've heard elsewhere as well) that in order to use the Suikoden I save game data you need to use a file that is saved after Gregminster, before the final boss. Doing this gives returning characters bonus runes, etc. For example... wait, I don't have Suikoden I. Nevermind.

Sincerely, Evan Pollino

I have read this too, actually, and so I believe it is true. Haven't had a chance to test it, unfortuneately. Not enough RPG time .. with all this travelling, you know.

Heh, they've got Lunar in their database!
Greetings all mighty Oracle.

I found out how to identify the songs on the Lunar music CD. If you have WinAmp, great, If not, download it from

Make sure your online while doing this. Open the WinAmp program and click on the playlist button. Then, click on File+ >> Dir +. Click on your CDROM drive with the CD in it. A window will pop up calling the CDDB Service. It will then give you the names of the tracks on the CD.

Cool, huh?

Lycentia ~_^

That's cool. I didn't realize they have VG soundtracks in their database. Rock on, Winamp!

Brad the Storyteller? ..nah.
Hey Brad, I asked Veronica the same question awhile back (she posted it! Yes! :p), and I'm gonna ask you. Have you ever written your own RPG plot? I've never really tried, but I have two. They really just popped into my head, and I said "Hey, thats a good idea, I'll write that down!". If you asked me, I'd say that square needs to stop letting crack-heads write their storylines. Hardy har. Anyway, have you written one, and if so, could you post it? See you later, dog.

-Zack S.

I haven't actually written one down.. but I've been interested in programming games and making them, even though my career is pretty much obviously headed in a different direction.. mmmm perl... C++ just does not stand up... .. as for crack-heads writing their plots, well .. maybe they're just getting issues from their childhood out. At least we haven't had any severely sexually deviant main characters... yet.

World Class Quickies

I really like sunflower seeds!

I'm not too big on sunflower seeds. I like frickin' chili cheese fritos.. dear god what I wouldn't do for some of those...

Dear Oracle,

There is a cancer in the RPGamer staff. JD in the ending of Perspectives said that Gameday 2000 is the game of the year! How can a nonRPG be game of the year! I suggest immediate disembowlment to right this wrong!

Well, we all knew JD was a pervert.. sheesh. Even the arabic guys who .. do dirty things with the camels have better taste in games! Heh, but nah, JD's a Dreamcast guy, he's lovin' his. Which is cool. yeah. He updated editorials.. so go check it out.

OK, CT's being remade for the PSX, so, what's going to happen with all of those little puzzles that depend on the SNES button names? Are they going to change Lucca's mother's name to L1or1o? Actually, since there seems to be a law that flips those 2 buttons, it would be L1xr1x. Oh my, what a lovely name THAT is! That's not even the worst of it. Remeber Zabie? that'd become what? Trxosq?

haha.. good point. I wondered this about FF5/6, though I can't remember if 5 or 6 actually called the buttons by name. I guess it's just a matter of fixing a couple things in the code..

Don't you already figure them out in your head when you play it on psx? I mean... c'mon! You are supposed to be some programmer anyway, can't you just do 6+7?

This is where literacy becomes a necessary requirement for k-rad eliteness. You can't read the fact that I said "combo", and meant trying to figure out how each card that turns matches with 3 other cards, and the ones around them, which may still be all addition, but is time consuming, not just one addition, which is neither difficult, nor time consuming...? Do you feel lucky.. Punko?

Dear Brady-poo:

Can you kindly tell me what the first RPG was? I am rather curious, and uhm, now I need to know.

Uhh.. Braddy-poo? .. heh. The first console RPG that came out in America, by my best recolection, was Dragon Warrior 1. It pretty much defined the genre, as far as I can remember... (and yes, I was around back in the Dragon Warrior 1 days.. fear).

I'm very confused. Please help me.
-Confused and Helpless Yud

You are confused, Steve. You think you're someone else! You need to go sit down in the corner, with little jack horner... and keep your thumbs out of things for a bit.

Is it just me or do all RPGamers love MST3k (Mystery Science Theater 3000), "Weird Al" Yankovic, and having money (one the last one I'm sure everyone loves). Or was it just me, that all the RPGamers I know love those 3 things.

While I'm not against it in any way, I've never seen much MST3k, so I'm not really considered a fan... ...and well, you forgot one other thing. All RPGamers love BRAD ^_^

~Great Lord of the NaOH

Oh great base.. no. I'm not. It's that darkfriend over there. Btw, I do dig the Robert Jordan Wheel of Time series. It's good stuff.

Words from the Wise One:

Alright, then. Nothing much left to say, other than, you'll never know where I'll be. Tomorrow, I'll be coming in live from another point on the globe... I might stop by your backyard, and do a column. But I probably won't, because it's probably not exotic enough for me! Or .. something. Anyway, due to his help with lots of nice graphics, including my borg-jedi, the nice master Roshi thing.. and.. several upcoming spectaculaires... Googleshng will be helping out with a guest appearance on the column, at some point later next week. I'm thinking Wednesday. How's that for ya'll? Good? Good. Send in questions, he'll answer 'em wacky. Wacky Wednesday.. that's it.. yeah...

Hey, where'd my camel go?
And what is that arabic guy doing to .. OH GROSS!

Brad "In a world of chimpanzees I was a monkey.." Lohr ..and chokin' on the splinters!

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