The Oracle
The Oracle, Brad Lohr - October '99- 00:30 PDT

Fun day. Fat head day! Big fat head day! .. well, no, actually.. fun day. Got my big bad nasty CGI done today at work. My first -real- CGI/Perl stint, and it was just frickin' huge. Then after work today, we all went to a Linux User's Group meeting at Cal Poly SLO, and heard the guest speaker... Rasterman. He's the head guy for the Enlightenment, er, how did he put it.. er, I don't remember. It's a window manager, with some desktoppie things, too. He had fire. The fire was cool. Anyways, just really neat to see the big neat geeks out there. I pay homage to his great geekness. And if any of you think that's not one of the utmost in high compliments, well, go to your room!

In other news, well, we didn't have a lot of Xenogears questions, but the people who were into Xenogears are well pleased... sated.. and fed. Well, I hope so, at least. Last time I looked in the cage, Thor was getting that nasty hungry goin' pretty good. He didn't think I'd really do it when he saw that redhead and said, "Man.. I'd give up food for a month for a couple nights with her.." ...heh.. boys!

As for other news, well, I know how much you all love to know about my weekend plans. Work, probably. Doh. Oh well, maybe a little Suikoden 2 thrown in for variety, and of course, the usual scrambling around trying to finish Physics, C++, Math, and Digital Logic homework. Erghghghghhgg... Not only that, but a whole bevy of unusual things to do at work before Monday rolls around. OOoh, Gau's theme. Very groovy.. full orchestration.

Anyway, kiddo's... I've got a bit of column to slice off, you've got some readin'.. go bug Veronica for me this weekend. Give 'er hell. I was nice, then she posted that whole sex partners thing. No bad feelings, but, well, I know how ya'll can be, so give 'er hell. She earned it. ;)

Got Questions? Problems?

Ask Veronica
Go bug little girls all weekend.. I'm gonna sleep.

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Suikoden 2
Oh yes.. all weekend. Well, probably not.
In Brad's Head
Palm IIIx with database support.. Mmmmm..
Tiara Monkey, funky funky..!
ZoOOoOmbay, ZomMMmbaay!
It's in your heeeAD, in your heEEAAaAAd!
Pirates, ahoy!
Hey Brad,
I have a two quick questions for you. 1) I was on gamecave's web site recently and was planning on purchasing the FF4 soundtrack (a long time favorite). Only problem was that there were two versions available: There was the FF4 original (about $33) and there was FF4 Original (SM) for about $18. What is this "SM" and why are soundtracks with it so much cheaper? Is it simply a different format?
2) What do you think of the idea of square having a "ffonline" (hey, that sounds familiar...) where players will get to compete against one another and explore an online world (a la everquest). Though some would argue this would degrade any story elements in such an FF release, I have always wanted to pit my FF tactics characters against someone else's.

Crimson Wulf

Okay, this is actually a very good issue/question to bring up. The SM stands for Son-May, which is a company which basically pirates the CDs and copies them. In other words, you get your music a little cheaper, but it's stolen. At least, this is what I've heard. Anyone with more info on Son-May and how dumb it is to buy stolen music instead of downloading it.. (cough), er, buying it... er, in light of that, I'd prefer if someone downloaded mp3's than buy Son-May. If you want to buy the soundtrack, buy the real version. And to clear things up, I have purchased several CDs, including FF:Pray(very good!) FF:Love Will Grow(not as good as Pray, still pretty good), and FF7:OST, well, er, I didn't buy that... it was my christmas present I got like in February from this girl who'd broken up with me just after christmas, and had ordered it for me, or something. It was just really weird... but hey, I got the FF7 ST, and a t-shirt that says, "3 years of your crap, and all I got was the FF7:OST and this lousy t-shirt", or.. something, (smirk). Oh yeah. FFVI - Grande Finale, very very good CD. Go buy it.

Hey, my name isn't St-- er.. YES. MY. NAME. IS. STEVE.
Hey Steve,

I've been looking to buy a pet monkey for a long time now. I'm just curious as to how much monkeys are going for these days. The cheapest I can find them is for 300 bananagps and well as we all know the only way you can get bananagps is by killing the Banana Behemoth which lives in the Banana Republic. Since Banana Behemoths only give you one bananagp, I'm gonna have to kill 300 of those things and well they are hard to kill. I just can't seem to cut through the banana skin armor with my magical butter knife. Oh steve, I got one more question for you. I never really got a chance to play any of the Lunar games. I'm wondering if its worth going out and buying Lunar: SSSC before they stop selling it.




Ok, could you explain to me how to catch a chocobo? The game and numerous crappy online guides have said, "When you detect one, blow the Ziner and catch the lone chocobo." All right, so I use the ChocoSonar and then find the spot/spots. I use the ChocoZiner and what happens? *Three* of those deformed cockatiels drop down! All they do is peep/wark/kweh or whatever sound they make. And if I blow that Ziner again, they just float up, leaving none of those overgrown canaries behind.

So how the hell am I supposed to catch a chocobo? Online guides have been no help, and that dumb Chocoboy is milking me of my gil.

-Cid Breakwind

I hate to be even less help, but honestly, 1200 isn't that much money. Just pay the kid. I tried several times to get the damned chocobos.. and it was just like, "uh, why am I bothering with this?".. and so I never worked for one again. :) The benefits of a decent SeeD ranking. ;)

Like, As IF! .. TOTALLY!
Okay, so we all know there's a cool new Chrono Trigger remake coming out and it's going to have nifty anime, but one thing that still hasn't been mentioned- is it going to have voice actors?! I just have to know! Because if it does I might just have to go and import it for fear of listening to one of my favorite games being horribly dubbed. I even had a nightmare a few nights ago that I was playing it and Magus started talking in this God-awful English voice. Then again, Enix didn't do a bad job at all with dubbing all the voices in Star Ocean, but this is Square we're talking about here. They've got enough problems changing *text* into English....


As if they could use a voice actor for CRONO. Heh. That is to say, that I haven't heard that they'll be using voice actors, and honestly, I'd be suprised if they did. Not really the style of remake. I think Square's just trying to make new money on old hat. I'm not complaining, due to the neat things like releasing FF5 in the states, and stuff. 'sides, if a company can make money, go for it. laissez-faire all the way, bay-bee!

You put your left foot in.. .. do the hokey pokey!
hey brad,
got a small question for ya. In ff8, do you gain money on the world map or just in "dungeons"? Personally I'm just too lazy to figure it out myself, but I've never been awarded money on the world map.


You earn SeeD rank payments due to how many steps you take, regardless of where they are. AFAIK.

Uber Quickies

Where can i find the techno remix of starcraft with aldaris saying, "this is not warcraft II in space?"

By the way.....what ever happened to the little dancing ninja?

The little dancing ninja thing was someone else's. Not my thing. Sorry...but I might have better, I just have to get a work on it... it's actually something someone sent in to the column, and it's really cool. I dig it a ton. As for the Starcraft remix with Artanis saying that, I got it from, search for 'starcraft' .. I think the title of it is 'broodwar bash'.. but I could be wrong.

Is it just me, or does Diet Pepsi taste a helluva lot like regular coke? Please clear up this conspiracy.

Ewww.. Diet Soda is Satan's own spittle! .. bleCh! How can you drink that stuff.. it makes me lose my super powers... speaking of which.. *eyes orange soda*

Hello! My name is Bingo! I like to climb on things! Can I have a Banana? Eek Eek!

No! No banana for you! Never trust a monkey!

What exactly is text parser mode? I need to make a text parser for comp class. You think you could give me some tips?
Mexican Dave

Tip on text parsing: #!/usr/bin/perl yeah, baby!

I ate a Q-tip yesterday. It made me throw up.

I told you it would, but you didn't believe me.. WHY DIDN'T YOU BELIEVE ME??

Words from the Wise One:

Well, there she is. I'm just not in a very talkative mood anymore.. you all have fun with Veronica this weekend... and er, take pictures. Then photoshop them so it looks like she's been with Janet Reno. Har har har. :)

Brad "I did not have sexual relations with that attourney general!" Lohr

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