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The Oracle
 
Anime Contest Winner!
 
The Oracle, Brad Lohr - October '99- 01:00 PDT

Well, lemmie tell ya. The weekend hardly existed. It just wasn't long enough. Man.. back to school tomorrow morning, and just.. yuck. Back to the grind... yipers. Anyways, the big day, the one at least a few of you have been waiting for.. the Draw Anime Brad contest results..!

There were some very good entries.. there were also some very .. interesting ones. First off, the winner... and that would be the person who goes by the name of Aimo .. with this submission. I have to admit, the button was a definite plus.. and because this person did such a good job, and then also spent the extra time.. and though I damn myself for doing so, I post this submission, also by Aimo. And by the way.. heads will roll. Congrats, and excellent work, Aimo! This week's guest will be Mr. Murray.. so I'll try and talk with Aimo, and we'll shoot for next week. I'll announce it when I know more.

And because there were a good many high quality submissions, I've decided to include a couple of my other favorites in this update. The one that could easily have won had it not been for Aimo's work, is this Anime Brad.. yes.. that is Weird Al on the flag.
I love it.

This one came in late, and if I hadn't been so into Suikoden 2 today (yay!) and updated earlier, I might have missed it. I like the Mini-TLE in the corner.. see it.

I just love this one. The best of Cows Factory, plus anime Brad goodness. Talk about funny.

Anyways, there are the results of the contest. I was sent quite a few more than that, so if you didn't win, sorry, but you were in some hefty competition.. And there will be more chances for similar things going on in the next couple weeks.

Well, moving on.. er.. yeah. I should do that. I've rambled enough... or haven't gotten to the good ramblin' yet, however you want to look at it...

Got Questions? Problems?

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Give the Monkey a banana, get an answer. Maybe.

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Brad Now Playing:
Suikoden 2
Oh, it's so cool already..
 
In Brad's Head
 
I have the amazing ability to get lost in any situation, regardless of whether or not I'm looking at a map.
 
It can't be Monday already..!
 
Howard is a cool name. Even more cool when pronounced in one syllable.
 
Who is Vicky, and did I sleep with her? .. again?
Yo.

Dude.

1) How was your trip to the bay area?

We got lost like twice. Out in the middle of nowhere, which is really hard in such a densly populated area.. but we had a good time.

2) Is Vicky over in the Weekend Q&A really going to Thrawp-aholics?

I assume you mean Veronica. As for her addiction to that of the bluethwap, well, it's basically a Pinnochio-esque reaction to drawing false pictures detailing the lack of taste of co-Q&A columnist. Er, I mean, the pictures with bad taste are false, or something. Say that five times fast.

3) Where is Zacarena?

that. that. that. that. that. Hey, I did it.. er, Zacarena decided that he/she was having too much fun doing weird things to his/herself, so he/she decided to resign from further RPGamer duties and devote his/her time exclusively to exploring his/her newfound joys.

4) YOU SLEPT WITH RICKY MARTIN!?!?! YOU SICK FIEND!!! (That's what Vicky said...)

... ... ...

5) Blah.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Kim

 
Alexander the Groovy
Um, I think that Alexander comes from the Greek hero, Alexander the Great, who conquered many a city for Macedonia, then named the city Alexandria. Not the one Veronica mentioned. Trust me, this Alexander is the real thing.

Jason

Brad:
You guys are silly, having GF debates while I'm not around...

 
Dude, this is so obvious it hurts to think about it..
*** FF8 Card Game Info ***

I just wanted to say that anyone who plays Triple Triad in ff8 needs to have Card-mod RF With that you can get rid of all your crappy cards so you only have good cards when you are in a city with a random rule. I just wanted to share my wisdom with you, I'll go now.

Drew Magoo

Brad:
That makes a very large amount of sense... There are some cards I'm sure you don't want to lose to Mod that still aren't all that great play-wise, but this definitely stacks Random back towards your favor.

 
You know a reader's from the Army when...
*** FF8 Game Spoilers, well, okay, not really ***

Here's the Sit-rep:

I'm in Dollet (Disco 1) and I have the materials to upgrade from Flame Saber to Punishment or even the Twin Lance, (gotta love the card-mod ability) but the Junk shop doesn't list it as a possibility. What's the deal?

Romulus

Brad:
I wish I knew enough quasi-military styled number/letter combinations to properly parody this in an answer. But I don't. So I'll just answer the question.. (whoa, new concept, dork!) .. I hate it when I call myself names. Anyway, you need the magazines that depict the upgraded weapons before you can build them, regardless of whether you have the items to do so or not.

 
Achtung!
Yes... der Name ist ein dreifaches Dreierreferrence. Es gibt kein Tolkien, Poe oder animereferrences im geraden guten ol' abschlie§endes erhm...."goodness der Spalte heute (* coughbullcrapcough *) der Phantasie 8... ". Warum? Gut sein der einzige neue RPG, den ich gekauft habe und unerme§lich... liebte und... gut, habe ich nicht gleichmŠ§igen Gedanken Ÿber Suikoden II schon berŸhren.

Weil dieses mein Wochenende Q u. A ist, mšchte ich Zeit zu rant wenig Ÿber etwas hier nehmen, das wirklich wirklich ich weg in abschlie§ender Phantasie 8 tickt. Es bezieht nicht dem Plot mit ein, so dort ist keine RŠuber ^ _ -

Die " gelegentliche " Richtlinie des dreifachen Dreiers. Warum warf Quadrat diese Gott-schreckliche Richtlinie in das Spiel? Irgendjemandes Begrenzungen auf Sanity prŸfen? Jetzt kann ich mit horrid GlŸck, aber, wenn ich Schlacht in Dollet mit der gelegentlichen Richtlinie kardieren mu§, mir gerade verflucht werden werde behandelt immer meine Karten der Stufe 1 bis 3. Alle wir wissen, was eine Freude die verwenden sollen. * Rollenaugen *

, um Stoffe falscher zu bilden, hat mein Konkurrent einen Behemoth, ein Cactrot, Sirene, ein gro§artiges Mantis und thankfully eine Karte Grat in seiner Plattform. Das Resultat? Mein Esel wird ganz Ÿber dem Fernsehapparatmonitor abgewischt (und diesem ain't recht. Kein siree.) Was tat ich, um dieses zu verdienen? Ist es, weil ich bereitwillig die Karte Seifer tragen? Weil ich beginne, zu denken, da§ Selphie nicht so Šrgerlich ist? Werfen Sie mich Knochen eines friggin ' hier!

Das rant O.K.... sein rŸber. Auf zu q- u. a-Mayhem... und zu Frustration von den RŠubern; _;

Brad:
Kein Fingerpoken und blinkenlight-messen! While I speak horrible beginning German, I do not have the time nor the strength to translate this.. the answer to your question, dear sir.. is <Jedi Mind Trick> Your name is Steeeeve.... Your name... is ... Steve....</Jedi Mind Trick>

 
Hey, what's this girl doing on my FFA?
Hey, um, I don't know about you, but my copy of FFA came with different cover art than I saw earlier. It's of Celes (I think...never played either game before) riding some sort of...I dunno what it is, some mechanical...thing. I got a pic earlier of the box art, and it was a white background with a sword in the middle w/V on one side and VI on the other...whats up with that?

-Rydel

Brad:
My copy of FFA also has Terra(Celes?) Riding Magitek armor instead of the FFV (sword) FFVI cover art. It's because chicks lounging on big deadly machinery sells. [Source: any motorcycle magazine]

 
Alien Abduction?
*** FF8 Game Spoilers ***

O all - knowing, all seeing Oracle,

Here's my question. In FFVIII every once in a while when walking on the world map I encounter this Jellyfish looking creature who leisurely floats across the screen while you just sit there and look at it. I would really like to know waht this is. I have seen it at least three different times.

Brad:
Well, if you find this saucer in enough places, eventually you will catch up with it, and basically have the option to fight it. If you kill it, you get one set of items, if you let it go, a different set. As I recall from when I first heard about it, letting him go without the whoopin' gives you a net result of a better stash of stuff.

 
Return of the Badass taglines, part three
According to the voice-over in Chocobo Racing, chocobo is pronounced /chuh-KO-bo/.

whistler-z

"Beware the lollipop of mediocrity. Lick it once and you suck forever."

Brad:
Now the only question left is.. do we believe Chocobo Racing?

 
 
Hi, I'd like a side order of Quickies

My tooth hurts.
-Eep Dong

*loads Tranquilizer gun* .. Open wiiiiiiiiide!

Dontcha think Lufia 2 was the best RPG for SNES???

Though I'm hardly a Square fanboy, I'd have to go with FF6 as being the best RPG for the SNES (or FF3a, if you want to get technical).. .. and I've got anthology now.. OoOOooh.. (Well, okay, I have the FF3a cart, too, but..) This is not to say that Lufia 2 is not an awesome RPG for the SNES.. I dig it. The Ancient Cave is horrendously long and challenging, (I've gotten down to 70- something, rah!) .. and the game itself is just a lot of fun. Go buy it and FF3a. .. or anthology.. just go buy games.. hah!

am i a bad person for liking earthbound? i mean despite the cheeseball graphixs and slap-bass porn groove music, it was a decent RPG.
-NeoCow

No, you're actually a bad person because you're a TAX EVADER OoOoh.. boO-- okay nevermind.

You won't believe what just happened. My cats snarfed a hairball on my Anolog Controller. URGGGH. Do you know how it feels to try and clean that mess up? It smells now too. They sure seem to like to throw up on important objects.
-Ross Levine

Finally, after years of you throwing the controller at the cat.. the cat gets its revenge... and of course, it waited for the $30 controller to come out first.. none of that hacking hairballs up on $10 controllers, no siree!

Words from the Wise One:


Just a last word or two before I go to bed.. We did get word back from Thor about when he'd be returning. It should be pretty soon, and he should be doing Q&A.. well, I'd say within the month. If you're a hardcore Thor fan, this is good news for you. If you're a hardcore Brad fan, well, this isn't bad news, because I'll probably still be around. Though let me tell ya. These 5-days a week things are kickin' my butt. I can't wait to be able to do it less. Not that I don't love doing the column, it's a joy, and honestly some of the most fun that I've ever had.. But it's a sacrifice of a lot of time.. time that I really don't have. I make this time, but I take it away from other things.. (Sleep? What's that?) .. things that need taking care of. Anyway, (yes, I'm trying to break the "Anyways" habit, as someone mentioned that 'Anyways' is not even a word.. ), ANYWAY.. I'm outta here. I love you all. With gravy.

Zacarena's New Look, courtesy of Goggleshng


Brad "Oh no! I'm a sugar bowl!" Lohr

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