The Oracle
Die, Earth Scum!
The Oracle, Brad Lohr - September '99- Early early early PDT

Ergh.. argh.. Brad doesn't feel too good. Sickness overwhelming and stuff.. yuck. Anyways, ya'll do not want the details I'm sure.. but I came home from work at a half day, and am putting this up as early as I can so I can go to bed and get some rest.. well at least get some rest.. or something. Anyways, I'm cuttin' it kinda short today, I'm sorry, that's kinda like two days in a row, even if yesterday really wasn't a short column..

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Not the Delphic Oracle, but like that.. 'cept different.

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Brad Now Playing:
FF8: Disc 3, maybe 4
Card Game Slowdown..?
Greetings Oh Mighty Oracle of the West (Don't know where that came from...)

Gotta important question for you. On my FF8 game, when I play Triple Triad, sometimes the players take a very long time to select/play their cards in the game. What I mean is that when the cursor goes over the cards on the left side, instead of the cards just moving around a bit and then one of them flies out, a card is pulled out a little, then takes like 30 seconds (seriously, I timed it), then moves on to the next card, and so on. Is my game bugged or is that the way it's supposed to be? This happens mostly when I play with the guy on the screen to the right the mayors house in FH, and with Cid, and some others. Thank you very much, sir. (Bows head to floor.)

- Chris

Anyone else have this problem?

You know, I hate that too..
Hey, brad your cool (anyone who likes UHF is ok by me) you should call the column "Town Talk" heh.

Anyway, I have a question. I have more or less denuded every person in FF8 of their rare cards except for the queen of cards quest. for this you need to chase her around the world till she is in Dollet and then lose specific cards to her on purpose, so her father will make new ones. I have a BIG problem however. The FRICKEN RANDOM rule has spread to Dollet so its practically imposible to get the card I want in my hand. Even if I do, if there are other cards in my hand that are more valuable she takes them instead. Is there away to remove a rule from a region? or am I DOOMED to break my playstation from pressing reset too much.

Also, I should point out to you that rpgs are HEAVILY influenced by anime. Granted not all anime is good, but if you see the right stuff I garantee you will be entertained. For instance, Slayers is an anime that is sort of a spoof on console rpgs and paper pencil rpgs. It is hilarious. I seem to remember Veronica mentioning it was one of her favorites. I would recomend you barrow it from her sometime. By the way I should also point out that anime is NOTHING like the crap they put on tv here. Very fresh, original, and not subject to the various "formulas" imposed on visual entertainment here. Also storylines are much more developed and episodes are part of a continuous story rather than each episode being compartmentalized and non-conected. Give it a chance dude! you seem to like most other cool things :P


You know.. I hate the random rule.. ergh.. it pisses me off!

I'ma lick you good, homey!
Mr. Brad,

1. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie-pop?


2. I only began writing questions to RPGamer not too long ago, so I never asked JD....and I think u rock! What? Suck up?!? oh fine...

3. What happened to the old design of RPGamer? I liked that one a lot better. You know, the one with the navigation graphic on the left. Not that the current design looks bad....just liked the old one a lot better.

The old design used frames, and well, someone up top decided that it sucked...soo, they came down upon it with weeping and gnashing of teeth, and it was destroyed.

4. My invisible friend says if you don't post this, it's gonna throw a toothless comb at your kneecap.

... >X( --comb--> *kab00m*
Haha, I got your comb. :P`,`,`
5. Say you had two circles, and one's diameter was a little larger than the other's. How do you prove that the larger circle has a greater infinite trail of a line than the smaller circle?

...I'm sick.. leave me alone :(

- Jesse

One Big O' Monkey...

1. If you had to buy Thousand Arms or Suikoden II, which one would it be?

2. Do you floss, or just brush your teeth?

The Orgasmic Monkey

Well, uh.. I'm buying both. Scratch that.. I bought Suikoden 2 yesterday ;) .. Thousand Arms release date is tenatively the 6th of October.. (Thanks to the great people out at the Santa Maria Software Etc, the suppliers of all my games, for that info...)

The real dig on Shiva
You had a letter on today, the 29th of Sept, stating how to pronouce Shiva. Well, um, I'm Hindu, and Shiva is actually the name of one of the gods. Besides being a *guy*, I've always been taught to pronouce his name "Sheiy-vah" Just thought I'd fill you in.


I actually got this letter a day ago, but I got what I wanted from it.. this wave file.. with Paws herself giving us the 100% USDA choice cut beef.. on how to pronounce Shiva.. also, she's looking for help on doing up a really nice, HTML-based graphical Walkthrough for FF8.. if someone can help her out, well, give me a shout, and I'll hook ya up. The desired canidate for the position has strong HTML skills.

Ow, I just got a splinter in my foot.. teaches me for walking barefoot outside :( :(
Sicky Quickies

Okay...where's Mr. Monkey in FF8? I've checked a few forests but can't find the bloomin primate anywhere...

He's in my pants! It's a veritable forest down there...

Frank Zappa has also sung about having sex with furniture!

Heh, he didn't just sing about it, baby.

I was once a Narcoleptic TMNT fan. You've just resurfaced 10 years of psychotic nightmares. Hope your happy now! Oh yeah, I really dig the .au file and repost those action figure pics!
-the evil Donatello!!

Hee hee... wake up, Billy!

Words from the Wise One:

I promise... a real update tomorrow.. a real BIG ONE.. as long as you guys send in lots of goodies, that is. :) I'm going to bed.. I'll feel better tomorrow. I will, or, well.. I will. It's mind over matter, man.. like.. totally dude. *cough*

Brad "Apathy Overwhelming!" Lohr

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