The Oracle
Evil Lord Brad
The Oracle, Brad Lohr - September '99- 00:00 PDT

All hail evil lord Brad! That'd be a hoot and a half, now wouldn't it! Haha.. er, okay. Hi! I hope ya'll had a good weekend, because it's gonna be a GOOD WEEK for Q&A. This week everyone's going to like my writing style, and think I'm funny, and .. well, what the heck, most of you already do. To the dissenters.. uh, <JEDI MIND TRICK> You like the column.. Your name is Steve... You're a happy person... </jedi mind trick> .. :)

So, Steve. How's it going? You look so happy today! .. You do? You like the column! Thanks! I bet you'd really be into reading today's column, now , then, wouldn't you? Well, great! Here it comes...!

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and takin' names!

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I actually did get to play most of the weekend, I'm now near the end of Disc 3, though I may play some more tonight and maybe finish Disc 3.. whee..
Inside Brad's Head
Veronica had a good idea with this.. so like a good american, monkey see, monkey do!

Veronica hit me with that 2x4, and now, not only do I know a real woman when I see one.. I'm uh.. seeing 3 or 4 of them..

Not yet ma, just 5 more minutes.. *snooze button*

Loser of the week!
Hey. JD rules! I like the Perspectives column he does. He kicks your butt, Brad. He uses neat words. You don't. But you make me laugh. But I hate laughing. I LIKE JD HE RULES YOU SUCK.

- darB, your evil twin grandfather

Well, see, y'all lost out to the Editorials readers. See they had me, but they liked JD better too. And well.. I guess someone liked the Eds readers betters. Sorry .. darB.. or whoever you are..

When I think about Suikoden 2, I dust my shelf...!
Oracle from Final Fantasy Tactics,

I am not an Oracle-jobbed kiddie from FFT. Go read my first column. Or else I'll make fun of you some more. Er, I probably will anyways..

I have a few questions for ya:
1. Are you getting Suikoden II?

Ah, you are redeemed. Suikoden 2 has been the game of the year for me. I've had it on reserve forever. Between that and Vandal Hearts 2, Konami is my secret love for the time being.

2. Is it worth getting(never played the first, but it looks good)?

See above answer. Go get it now!

3. Is Suikoden II out yet(playing too much FF8 to even notice)?

No, it isn't.. the current word on the street says Wednesday. I won't have FF8 finished yet.. oh dear.. what to do.. what to do..

4. Why in the heck does FF8 say it takes between 1-15 blocks of memory? Is it a lie or something to get us gamers to buy memory cards?
It's a subliminal message to spend money on Sony products. And I guess it's just saying that it can take up to 15 blocks, but you're right, that's the first time a game has said it like that, and honestly, I noticed that too when I picked it up.

Thanks! Kahgani

Sabotender! Sabotender!
** Possible Light FF8 Spoiling Here **

ok here's a couple of easy FF8 q's to give ya a break.

I'm on disc b4 entering the Lunatic Pandora, I want to get my GFs more AP, where's a good place to do so?

I need a Steel Pipe! Where can I get a steel pipe?

Shadow Master

Er, well, I'm not on Disc 4 yet.. but if there's still a desert around, check out the cactaurs. At 20AP a pop, just hope you've got someone with a 255% Hit. ;)
As for the other, to get Steel Pipes, steal them from Wendiego's, which you can encounter in the forests near Galbadia.

I've got one Chocbo in my Pocketstation, and the other one's hailing a Rental Car!
** Very minor FF8 Spoilin' here **

Hey Brad,

Why the hell would Square include the PocketStation feature in FFVIII if Sony has no intention of ever releasing it here? Is it just to torture those of us who are cursed with Americanism? And is it true that there's a secret GF that can only be acquired through the PocketStation mini-game? I will be sooooo pissed if it's that extremely powerful one I've been hearing about....


Perhaps they think Sony will reconsider releasing the Pocketstation out to the United States? But I think the main reason they left Pocketstation support in is because there'd be 10million American kids totally pissed off at Square for taking something OUT of the American version "Wah wah they always do this to us waaah waaaah!" than if they left in support for something which you can actually fairly easily import, even if it is a little bit costly. As for the "Super Secret GF" I've only heard rumors of calls that will happen randomly if you have the Pocketstation, but no full-fledged GFs have been removed due to lack of Pocketstation support.

You know your PSX Doesn't like you when...
Just Wondering if anyone else had a problem with ol' FFVIII slowing down to a chop during any FMV sequences? Please someone say yes, I don't want to think my playstation is mad at me.


The only time I've had a slowdown was during one spell.. other than that, nothing. Time to get a new best friend, dude.

You're Weird!

Is it just me, or am I one of the few that think Final Fantasy VII was the most kick ass squaresoft game ever (before FF8)? Nowadays I get things from my friends like "Oh...FF7 sucked man, the music sucked and the story line sucked and blah blah blah", but I like the music a lot and god dammit the story line kicked ass! I know FF7 is sort of in the shady past right now, but I believe that game made a breakthrough in RPGs. When I first got the game, I couldn't stop playing it. I thought the graphics were superb (I happen to like the super deformed people) and the soundtrack simply amazing. However, I still hear my friends complaining about how much it sucked. Am I .. ::sniff:: ...weird?

- Jesse

It's just you.. I mean, I'm not an FF7 hater by any means.. but FF8 does totally kick its butt. It's probably the worst of the Final Fantasy games that I've played. It just lacks something. I'm loving FF8 though. I was thinking it would suck too, but they really pulled it out and made a great game. One thing I definitely liked about FF7 over FF8 though was the soundtrack. The overworld music in particular is much better in FF7.. and well, it just had a general better sound to it. That, and Ifrit roared a little better in FF7. Oh well. Can't win 'em all.

Ask Not-Thor part 2
Greetings, "Brad". Over the past week, I have made a few... observations.
#1. You have a relatively appealing sense of humor. Last known match: Thor, or possibly JD.
#2. You are nocturnal. Last known match: Thor.
#3. Right around when Thor was *supposed* to return, you appeared out of nowhere instead.
#4. We have already established that you are not Thor.
Conclusion: You keep Thor chained up in your basement and force him to write your columns, otherwise you'll let Zacarena have him. GIVE THOR BACK, YA SPOO-FIEND!!


.. I'm not Thor. I don't have Thor.. I don't get enough sleep as it is! I can't wait for him to get back, same as you guys, so that he can do the crazy shifts, and I can go be funny on the weekends... It would be absurd to think that I have Thor in my basement, all chained up. Anyways, there's no room left for him, after all the anime-girls who have thrown themselves at me, and begged to be chained up in my dungeon. They think they're Brave Little Anime Otaku Who Could prince will come and save them.. but first he will have to get through me!
Muwahahaahahahahaha!okay that was lame. kiss my butt.

Have you played Xenogears? I often hear you talk about great PSX RPG's but I never hear mention of Xenogears, good or bad. In my opinion, Xenogears was one of the greatest of Square's RPG's. It had superb anime-style graphics, a rotatable 3-d world, and TWO very unique battle systems, not to mention one of the most complex and intriguing stories I've seen in an RPG. After FF8, this would be the first game I would recommend to anyone for the Playstation.


Yes, I have played and beaten Xenogears. While it is an excellent RPG.. it just doesn't make my top ten for some reason. I don't know. The storyline is GREAT... the music superb. But for some reason, I have absolutely no desire to go back and play the game through another time. I think they really messed up the last quarter or so of the game with how they changed how the story was told. It felt like they just threw together the last bits of it in a couple days and shipped. I was kinda disappointed. But like I said, the story is very good, the battle system is fresh, the music is awesome, and well, everyone should at least check it out.

My name is ____ .. and I suck at FF8.
** Yes, some more teeny-tiny baby spoilers in this one **

Hey Braddy

Pleeeeeaaaaasssee tell me how I can defeat Ifrit on the first disc of FF8. I have had the game for two weeks now and play it everyday for hours on end. I have fought Ifrit hundreds of times and with every attempt he squashes me. Oh what could I be doing wrong, my level is at 54 and I cant beat Ifrit. Square sure did crank the difficulty level on this puppy. I have 40 hours already, man this game is long, I cant wait till I get to disc 2. Any way I also have a few questions....

1. How do I use the limit breaks? (They dont seem play as big a role as they did in FF7.)
2. Do you have a Dreamcast yet?
3. And the most important question......Do you surf?

Thanks for any suggestions you can give on defeating Ifrit


You know what your problem is? I do. :) In FF8, the monsters level up as you do. You spent too much time leveling up early on, and the enemies are now just as strong as you are, except for the fact that you haven't learned new abilities through extra GF's and the such. So you're fighting an Ifrit designed to take on level 50 party members, and you're just a lv 10 weenie with a 40level attitude, but none of the gear a 50th level guy should have. So you're understocked, and that's why Ifrit's takin' ya for a ride and not lettin' ya come back. Sorry dude, but my best suggestion is to restart and take him on around lv 15.. he's much easier at that time.

As for limit breaks, they do play a large role once you start abusing using them properly.. Squall's limit break can do massive amounts of damage, (especially later on), and well, Selphie being able to use Full-Cure on the whole group just rocks.
I don't have a Dreamcast. I'm not really anti-Dreamcast, but I'm not going to get one.. I just don't have the time to play that many more new games.. and well, the PSX2 should be backwards compatible, so I can sell my playstation off and hopefully save some space in my room. Oh yeah, I'm taking offers/bids on my N64, as well.. Full unit with RAM expansion, Zelda Gold with box and instructions.. , 2 controllers (1 standard, one Atomic Purple or whatever it was called), the Rumble Pak on the back, and a controller extension cord. Get it now, or see it on Ebay three weeks from now..

Oh and I would walk 500 arms, an.. ok that sucks.
Do we have an official release date for Thousand Arms? Or is it out and I've been holding on to this reserve ticket for no good reason?


It looks like Thousand Arms has been pushed back to October.. I'm sad about this too. I have that on reserve as well. :)

Mega Xmanager SuperQuickies
Today's Quickies are brought to you buy Mega Xmanager Superguy .. beware the power he holds!

Veronica insulted Full House! I'm gonna go hide in a closet and cry.


>X( --Antonius--> >XP

Your column sucks. I hate you. Get a life.
Anonymous Loser

>X( --Loser--> *ultimate destruction*

Words from the Wise One:

Well, so Mega Xmanager Superguy is more of the silent type. He gets the job done though. I really didn't have much this weekend coming in. Ya'll took your questions to THAT GIRL, didn't you. *sniff*.. leaving me for a woman! How.. ungrateful! I've been like an Oracle to you guys! I bet.. I bet you're all HETEROSEXUAL MALES aren't you! ... bastards!

Evil Lord "New, Q&A that is 100% blue-thwap free.." Brad

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