The Oracle
Oracle, en flambé!
The Oracle, Brad Lohr - September '99- 00:00 PDT

That's right, kiddie-roo's, I'm on fire! It's been a good night. And before you pervs out there start your naughty speculation upon the contents of my bed, it's just not like that. I swear, teenagers. I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine. What's worse is that it wasn't just teenagers speculating that, was it?

Anyways, the results are in.. not as much response as I expected... (I know how many of you read this thing.. talk about weak turnout.. sheesh!) but overall the reaction was, "Hey, you're doing a pretty good job, answer the goddamned numbered questions underneath the numbers!" ... but I scored probably an average of 4-ish points out of 5. Thor's the reigning cham-peen of Q&A, he scored 5 on just about everyone who cared make such a comment. AK also showed up, and poor Drew over at GIA got a 1 from one guy.. talk about harsh. My scores: Max: 5 Min: 2 (ouch) Mean: 4+ Mode: 4.5.

Anyways, one other person's comment said, "Keep the intro shorter!", and since that works well with my plot to get myself to bed sometime soon, well..

Got Questions? Problems?

Ask The Oracle
Come on baby, light my fire!

Recent Q&A's


The Old stuff
The Archives
Brad Now Playing:
New Brad Action Figure: Travel Agent Brad
Good Evening.

I am terribly sorry to bother you with a question that is not really a question about a certain game, but I figure you would be the best person to ask. In November I am going on a trip with my family to California on Holidays. Apparently we will be staying in Los Angeles ofr severals weeks and touring the neighboring cities and such. I would like to know if there is anything video-game related sites or place that would be worth my time seeing. Myself, I would love to go to E3, but I doubt it would be on at the same time I am there. Can you suggest anything ? Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely yours,

Delbert J. Malibu

Er, I go down to that area fairly often myself.. but I'm not too successful in finding video game monuments.. perhaps some residents of LA/Orange Co's could give us a head's up on the attractions the horridly polluted lovely Los Angeles are has to offer?

Ask Not-Thor
dude, (no nickname needed)

this is really freaky. I was reminicing and thinking about past Q&A's and I decided to look for thor's first column. In it some guy calls him the new oracle. You didn't get the oracle from greek mythology, u got it from thor. Sooooo you're either a plagerizing pedophile or you're actually thor. I've been womdering why u sounded familiar. You are thor

Justin (no nickname needed here either) Owens

As much as I'd like to say I was Thor, (well, would I really?).. no, I am not Thor. He's a cool guy, I've known him for a couple of years now, and yes, he will be back someday.. (last talk with him had him possibly around beginning of October, but no promises).. I used to have long blonde hair, but never that long. Nor do I have a mutant hand, (alas, Poor Eddy.. what fate has he fallen under?) I can understand why you'd get us mixed up though. Women dig Thor. Women dig Brad. Thor is funny. Brad is funny. Thor killed OJ's wi--

I was just checkin'...
You messed up, Oracle. Gogo does say something in Final Fantasy III. When you first meet him to get him into your party, he does say a few lines. I'm not sure, but I think he also speaks during Kefka's big speech at the end, when a few members of the party say a few words to support their cause. But anyways, I can't believe the great Oracle didn't even know that!

Er.. uh, I was just seeing how many of you were actually paying attention to that whole math thing.. yeah.. ergh.. um. hee. Also pointed out to me in my brandishment of bad math was the fact that the log of 0 is not, as I stated, 1. But the log of 1 is 0. I've been a naughty Oracle. Spank me.

Jonny Gomez: Tonight on RPG Deathmatch we have 2 special guests, Alex and Hiro from the Lunars!

Alex: ... *blushes* Hiro: ... *smiles with hair out of place*

Jonny Gomez: And their challengers tonight, your 3 favorite Final Fantasy heros: Locke, Cloud and Squall!

Locke: Hi. Cloud: Hi, URRRGGGHHH *voice from nowhere, place turns red* this is not just a deathmatch arena, you are a puppet* things go backto normal* .... I'm ok. Squall: Hi.

Mills: OK guys, you know what to do now let's get it on.

*** Everyone draws swords***

Cloud: URRRGGGHHHH Reunnionnnnn.... ***Floats to top of ceiling and sits there in a ball***

Jonny Gomez: Well that's one down, let's see if the Fantasy Boys can overcome this deficit!

*** Fighting and slashing commences, hit points are lost ***

*** Alex slashes Locke across the chest with the might sword of Althena, weakening him greatly ***

Locke: I'll get you for this !!! *** Steals Herb, then dies ***

Jonny Gomez: What a rumble we have so far, the Lunar kids are sure putting up one hell of a fight!!!

Cloud: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *spasms like always*

Squall: Prepare to die adolescents, this one is for Rinoa!

*** Squall calls Bahamut ***

Hiro: You call that a dragon?

Alex: Wow that's almost as scary as Nall's breath!

*** Hiro and Alex call the Red, Blue, White and Black Dragons and harness their awesome powers ***

Squall: Ugh... *looks sick*

*** Dragons own Squall, blow up arena, smite land with holy power of Goddess, etc. etc. ***

Mills Lane: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?!? 12 year olds and their dragons kickin everyone's ass I don't believe this!!!

Hiro: ... Alex: ...

*** Hiro and Alex exit with their fine chicks in hand ***

Jonny Gomez: Wow folks, this has been the most amazing display of power I have ever seen!

Marv Albert: YESHH, and it counts!

Jonny Gomez: Uh, thanks Marv. That will be all for tonight on RPG Deathmatch, once again this is Jonny Gomez saying good night and good fight.


What is there to say..nothing, good point.

Is that a pocketstation in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
Yo Yin/Yang Yuser,
I'm not from FFT, it's greek, damnit, greek!
Does anyone know if an imported pocketstation would work with the US playstation and US games?


As far as I've heard, they don't, but if anyone out there has a definite report on it, give me a ring.

System V
Hey Brad, what do you like better: Junction system, Esper system, Materia system, or the Job system?


I'm going to go with the Esper system, mostly because Junct is a lil' complex, (I like armor, thankyouverymuch), Materia just did NOT do it for me, and well, the Job system just was implemented a lot better in FFT than it was in FF5.

Isn't that a Rammstein song..?
Can I insert some comments/questions while I'm at it? 1)Is Square doing ff9 (Wells, I think they're at it already for the psx or PS2?

Brad: Okay, my first shot at this new layout, if you don't like it.. uh. touph. Nobody at this time really knows.. but RPGamer staff thinks PS2, as an early release on the system, (instead of waiting a LONG time to release their first FF on the psx, it was at least a year..)

2)Should I get Xenogears, FF8, FFA, or Thousand Arms? I've already played Xenogears, but I'm obsessed and I don't own it, so...

Brad: OoOOoh.. the Atlus lover in me says, "Thousand Arms! YESSsSss", but the practical side of me says, "FF8.. you like FF8, it's fun." So my answer is... Suikoden 2. :)

3)about xenogears, in the opening FMV/Anime sequence, they play Star Trek sound effects when the Captain guy is doing self-desturct mode. (something like that...) Am I the only one offended by this??

Brad: Yup, you're the only one offended by that. Nobody else who watches Star Trek has ever seen anything else, so they obviously haven't played Xenogears.

Thankyou, and yer welcome. I think. You shall hear from me often, I believe, if I feel my presence is necessary. Ah yes, you shall! Okay, I'm going now.
Good bye.

-Engil "How can you not like anime???

Brad: I don't watch TV, and well, I don't know, anime is pretty much like watching TV.. I watch some movies, but not very often, except in theatres.

I got a Quickie with your name on it!

Is it true that in fallout yhou can get addicted to drugs?

Yes. Drugs are bad. But at least in Fallout, if you OD, you can just go back and get the characteristic that makes you nearly invulnerable to drug side effects.

The guy from the cave in zelda must not fight! He does not have to! He is invincible and whenever someones hits him, fire comes out of nowhere to attack the guy.

Such are the advantages to being "The one fated to hold onto the wooden sword till elf-boy comes and takes it from your hands and attempts to kill you with it"

I'm gonna bend you over a table and have my way with you!

Hey buster, this ain't Burger King, you put it away, right away, or I'm gonna have your way right way away your, ..way.. uh.. pickles.

Which would you rather be, the whale or the bowl of petunias?

Oh no.. not again.

Egads!!! The cows are on the run!!! Ma, get the shotgun!

What's with all the schitzo's today? SHEESH PEOPLE..!

Come onnnnnn, it wasn't all that bad! It was late at night... And don't worry...there's more where that came from! Mwaa ha hahahaha!

Hey, who ever said giving a classroom full of English students cancer was a bad thing? :)..I guess it's not USDA choice, though, either.

There are only two things to come out of Berkley, Unix and LSD. This is not a coincidence.

Now here's the question, which caused the other?
Shadow Master

I'm not too sure about LSD, but UNIX originated in the AT&T labs, as far as I recall, as a sort of joke off of Multix..anyways, not..enough..slashdot..unix..guruhood..fading...I'm not too sure about LSD, but UNIX originated in the AT&T labs, as far as I recall, as a sort of joke off of Multix..anyways, not..enough..slashdot..unix..guruhood..fading..I'm not too sure about LSD, but UNIX originated in the AT&T labs, as far as I recall, as a sort of joke off of Multix..anyways,, that is, what you were thinking of is BSD, or Berkeley Standard Distribution.

Words from the Wise One:

Ugh.. I'm tired. AndrewV and AndrewK stopped by just tonight, and surprisingly, AndrewV is a reader of this column. As RPGamer and GIA are good friends in this big gaming industry, ya'll should go over to their place and check them out too. Oh yeah.. AndrewK says, "I like girls."
Someone get that doctor's medical license number..!
Wow, Leo, when they said they'd patch you right up, I didn't think they'd actually use thread and patches!

Brad "I like girls too. 'specially with ketchup." Lohr

© 1998-2017 RPGamer All Rights Reserved
Privacy Policy