The Oracle
Sapphire Bullets of Pure Love
The Oracle, Brad Lohr - September '99- 03:00 PDT

Greetings, my voodoo love children. I bring to you yet another sacrifice of happy Q&A goodness today. We're back to Monday, now, back to school, back to work... no more TP'ing churches in the middle of the night.. no, have to wait till next weekend in order to do that again.. er.. heh. Anyways, exciting news here at RPGamer this week.

The Tokyo Game Show is ended, and as you can see, our New Media and News sections are chock full of the goodies from there.. some great stuff has come out of the show. Make sure to check it out.

In other news, Local music man Mark Jordan was arrested late Sunday evening in central Texas on charges of "Selling Illegal Substances to a Minor". He could not be reached for a statement, however, Leon Geeste , 12, of Star Ocean 2 fame, is quoted as saying, "He told me it was sugar.. and it freaked me out!" Other customers of what has come to be known as "Chocobo's Mysterious Druglab" include: ExDeath, Alex Kimbel, Mog, Gilgamesh, Dragonmaster Alex, Alucard, Son of Dracula, and Thor, who got so stoned that he hasn't moved in the last 5 months or so.

Also breaking headlines this week, JD has returned from his vacation at the Bahama's with all those supermodels, after they finally bankrupted him with their endless shopping sprees in the island novelty shops. He returns to RPGamer with a little lighter load than the weekly Q&A position, namely, in the editorials section. Go give him a big 'welcome back' in the Editorials Section.

Also, don't forget to check out Hunter's Final Fantasy 8 review, so ya'll can get his opinion on it, and stop asking me for mine! :)

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The Old stuff
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Brad Now Playing:
Now on Disc 3
Jonny: Hello, I'm Jonny Gomez, and tonight's very special CVD will be a huge, battle royal involving my former guest-host, Squall!! Let's go the ring!!

Mills Lane: All right, I want a good clean fight, contestants!! Let's get it on!!


Crono: ....

Cloud: ....

Squall: ....

Jonny: Look out, a special guest opponent, Vincent!!

Vincent: ......

Jonny: Wow, the carnage!!

Mills Lane: I said, LET'S GET IT ON!!

Crono, Squall, Cloud, and Vincent: ....

Mills Lane: That's IT!!!

*Mills takes off disguise to reveal, Shadow!!!!!*

Shadow: .....

Jonny: Wow, this could go on all night!! We'll conclude this match at a later date. I'm Jonny Gomez saying, "Good fight! Good riddance!"

-Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl, Earl, Earl.

It's fun to see you guys havin' fun with these things.. You keep sending, I keep posting.

But isn't 9x6=...?
Yes, oh wise and honered oracle, I have come to you with questions about LIFE, The UNIVERSE, AND EVERYTHING!!! I bow to YOU'RE superior knowledge and intelect!

1) what's the meaning of life, the universe, and everything?

2) is the above answer is a number, what is the quetion?

3) In an un-biased (or as un-biased as you can get) how is Final Fantasy 8?

4) which is better, The Extreame (last boss music) or One Winged-Angel?

5) Have you indeed read the WHOLE hitchhiker's Guide series? Iv'e only read 2. How are they? are they as funny as the first 2?

Kim *Big Crazy Monkey Man* Sung-Won

1. 42
2. "What is Six Times Nine?"
3. I like it, it's fun. :)
4. I dunno, I haven't gotten past disc 3 in ff8 yet.
5. Yes, I've read all 5 books in the trilogy. It pretty much goes sharply downhill from the 3rd book on.

Starcraftin', Across the Universe..!
Hail almighty Oracle!

1)Do you play Starcraft on

2)Will you post your b-net screen name so I can challenge you?

2andahalf)Before I look like an idiot, what's your ladder rating? If it's higher than mine, nevermind. (just kidding)

3)I've recently depleted my funds on a paintball gun and a used copy of Tactics Ogre, is it worth it to rob a bank for the money to get FF8 or should I wait and see if I get it for my birthday?

4)Why are girls so good at fighting games? On 3 completely isolated occurences, at 3 completely isolated games, 3 different sets of people, my friends and I have been beaten by girls at fighting games. Once was me against a friend at Tobal, and I've gotten to lvl 15 on Udan's dungeon while she had never played it before.

By the way, my brother said, "Can't sleep, clowns will eat me" after he saw the shadow mana beast in SD3.


Heh, I'm gettin' tired.. so here goes, quick-like.
1. I do, sometimes...
2. I usually use The Light Eternal, Ryteria, or orf.
2.5. Heh, uh, I don't really play ladder.. don't have the time these days, and back when I had the time, too many people were cheating so it just wasn't fun.
3. Eh, I wouldn't give up 10 years of my life for it, but it's fun. Be good and get all the endings on Tactics Ogre and by then, you'll be 30 and have plenty of birthdays stacked up to get whatever games you want. :)
4. They're really not better than guys, they're equally as good. But because most guys don't expect them to be good, they go easy on them for the first round, and after finding out they just got their butt kicked in, they try to rally themselves for a good show, but with low morale, the woman tromps on them and then laughs. Like this, "Ha ha ha".
Respect mah authori-tah!
My sister eats clowns. :o

How old is that little doggie in the Q&A Column.. er.. that's not right.

Possible FF8 Spoilers Lie Herein
You know you want to know it, the power of ponch compels you!
1. Where the heck is the Queen of cards in Disc 2 of FF8?
2. How do I get the GF cards for Ifrit, Siren, SHiva, etc, etc?
3. How old are you?

1. I found her in the city of Balamb, near the Train Station.
2. I got the Ifrit card when I fought Ifrit, I'm pretty sure.. the other cards are hard to find, and too many to list here, consult gamefaqs for a card FAQ.
3. 21.

Mac Braddy
::sniffles:: i miss Thor. But you're nice. i like you. ::hugs:: Want some Chinese?

~ Ytsirk

Contrary to popular music indoctrination, I like both Summer Girls and Chinese food.

He's only mostly dead!

Possible FF8 Spoilers Lie Herein

Hey I got a few questions for ya. 1. Did you ever see (or read) The Princess Bride, awesome movie (book)
2. Ok now this has been annoying me, in FF8, when you go to the GF menu and it shows there picture, I am missing one on the top row, it's the one between Ifrit and Diablos (I think) and I just got Pandemona which is on the second row, so which one did I miss!?
3. Have you ever played Ys????


1. I've never read the book, but I've seen the movie several times. Very good.
2. My top row is as follows; Quez, Shiva, Ifrit, Siren, Brothers, Diablos, Carbunkle, Leviathan.
3. Nope, I haven't.

Icky Sticky Quickies

Pop Tarts are good.

You're making me hungry. :( Stop.

Words from the Wise One:

Well, here starts another week, and another whole slough of days where I probably won't be able to progress in FF8 at all. :( Wah. Oh well, they pay me too well at work to not go there, heh. I'll catch all you little ducklings tomorrow. Buh-bye!

Oh no, they got Leo!
[Thanks go out to Cows Factory for all these hilarious shots]

Brad "Ryteria, Mother of All Creation" Lohr
Satan Eats Cheeze Whiz!
[And before parents go nuts over this supposedly satanic comment, it's not intended to turn anyone's children into satan worshippers. It's intended to get them to stop eating Cheeze Whiz.]

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