The Oracle
Severe Tire Damage
The Oracle, Brad Lohr - September '99- 01:00 PDT

Como esta el baño?

Yup. I do know what that means. I figured it was time I asked YOU guys a few questions. Well, okay, nevermind. I'll answer things, AGAIN..eesh, same old thing every day, you guys have no adventurous spirit!

Anyways, as I was saying... ..."Dude." And welcome to the 3rd column this week. Not bad. Almost halfway there. I can do it...! I'm a winner! I'm .. I'm Brad. Hi.

Okay, identity crisis behind me, I'm just gonna throw out a couple things that I really didn't want to post as full fledged questions, nor were they put to me in such a way to be quickies, just some info passin' down the line to you guys. I've got word (without Spoilers, either) that the FF8 ending is quite a relief after many of you were disappointed by FF7's ending. Just lettin' ya'll know that it's worth it, fight those bad guys, and always remember... gunblades don't kill, callin' Bahamut to do that fire-nasty-splat thing he does.. that kills.

I'm kinda at a standstill for words right now... so here's the letters, and I'll see ya'll down at the bottom.

Got Questions? Problems?

Ask The Oracle
You sick little monkey!

Recent Q&A's


The Old stuff
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Brad Now Playing:
FF8: Actually, I haven't played in a couple days...
New Pansy-Brad action figure with limp-wrist action!
Oh all-cool Oracle!

You're a really cool letter guy. I never really send many letters to RPGamer Q&A, so you should feel lucky. Now, onto some questions!!!

1. So, what is the release date for Suikoden 2? I'm excited aboot it (I'm not really Canadian)! I know it was at first supposed to be released same day as FF8, but it was changed, so what's up with it now?
2. I told someone at school that you were on the second cd and had only like 200 hp in FF8, and he called you a pansy. He's on the first cd and he has like 1000. What's up with that?
3. Why do I have to wait until I get paid to get FF8? Why can't I have it now!? You're the oracle. Answer me! Hehe.


1. I heard around the 20th, but they might have lied to me.
2. No, no, no, I have about 2500HP (thanks, life!).. I only hit with physical attacks for around 200, that's all.
3. You must wait because you don't have a cool enough job to allow you to purchase games on the day of release. But the ARMY has the traini-- er, uh, I am just going to stop now.

Actually, I don't mind sauerkraut.The Best of Both WorldsThose were just Weird Al Lyrics.
Hey Brad what's up??
Little problem I have here.....just bought FF8.....liking it so far.......though it depleted my money resources a bit.....only have enough money for one more game.....which should I get?? Thousand Arms or Suikoden 2?? Both are coming out like a day after the other?? I have never played the first Suikoden so I have no idea what the story is etc......but Thousand Arms dating feature sounds really unique and cool....not to mention all of the extra goodies you get with it?? So I ask you great Oracle, which game dost thou recommend??

I've actually got both on pre-order, though if you're not already a Suikoden fan, I'd probably go with Thousand Arms. If you liked Suikoden 1, (like I did), DEFINITELY go with Suikoden 2.

It's a happy helmet!
Ok..... just a couple simple questions to get to you know a little better....
1) Do you like logs?
2) Do you like Cristina Agulera?
3) What would you think about pink chinchillas taking over the world in Dec. 13 2002?


1. log x = 10.. mmm, er, log! it's big, it's heavy, it's wood! It's better than bad, it's good! Do you like string?
2. Christina Aguilerra, or however you spell it. Her face is kinda oddish, I like blondes, but there's just something not EXACTLY right about her face. But I tell ya, she's got a tummy that's just yummy.. and I mean yummy in the yummiest way possible.
3. I say bring 'em on. I took out those freakish Fried Green Tomatoes, and I've still got enough oOmPh left in me to fry eggs on my shoulderblades! raaar!

You want my job. You know you do.
Greetings oh mighty Oracle, who may or not be related to the southern oracle from neverending story, man she had some huge... Oh my god, just when I thought I was the only one that was familiar with that Zork quote, you pop out of nowhere and make my day. My hat goes off to you sir! I would love to just worship you, but maybe it would be best if I posed some questions. 1) How long does it take you to do a single Q&A column, on average?
2) Do you sometimes have to research your answers, or do you simply will it forth from the limitless archive that is your brain?
3) Why isnt there a female Q&A person at rpgamer? (if there has been, i apologize).
And the nice lady in charge of the art section doesn't count.
4) I havn't played much through ff8, but I already hate Rinoa, and secretly wish that it was her that had died in ff7 instead of Aeris. Which heroine do you think is cooler?

You wrote a wonderful Q&A so far, I am expecting great things from you!


Wow, I'm really getting into these multiples today.. Multiple Q&Agasm, woo! er, anyways
1. About 2 hours, so far, and getting quicker.
2. I do a little research, but I've been around for a while, I haven't had to do much so far, I just have picked up a lot over the years. I answered that Junctioning question yesterday completely from personal FF8 experience *flex flex*
3. There won't be a female Q&A person at RPGamer until Zac's surgery goes completely through.. he didn't want to tell you all, but that's what he was up to last weekend. And I tell you, there is no sexier RPGal out there than Zacarena.
4. I'm not digging on Rinoa too much either. I kinda like Selphie though. She's got the fire, she's got the temper.. I dig that.

I, uh, hate hot chicks.
Dude. (i love saying that)

As the new Q&A guy, it is my duty to ask you a bunch of questions and initiate you into The Circle of Coolness (i have no idea what this is I made it up on the spot)

1. Where are the quickies?! Put them make up or suffer the wrath of Zeus!

2. A Pondering: 3 Q&A guys quit within 6 months. Accident or "Accident"? Where were you on the night that JD quit?

3. Lend me your copy of FF8 so I can play it.

4. You are a rookie, therefore inferior to us RPGamers. (not arr-pee gamers, arr-pee-gee gamers, just to clarify) Feel our wrath, hear us roar. Be afraid. Be Afraid and run away.

5. Poseidon doesn't like you. Do you know why that is? it's because you don't have any pictures of hot chicks on here like JD did (thinks of the explicit pokemon episode) waaaaaait a second if your thinking of damaging our fragile little minds with that forget it we only respond to really hot chicks hehe.

6. Did you know if RPGamer was like a building or something, you could probably smell the testosterone? Oh, by the way, Aya Brea's gonna pay you a "visit". Will you enjoy it? (Brad sez: oh no i hate hot chicks they suck) ok thats enough picking on brad.... i think.

7. I guess this is enough messing with you mind for today. Oh one more question, just so we can know and either make fun of you and/or congratulate you on your taste; what kind of music do you like/what bands/artists do you like?

May the Force be with you,
Teg Mayhem

Dude, I love saying that too. Anyways, on to your inane,er, well thought out questions.
1. They're right there. Are you a schitzo or something? Can't read? Not like they're EVIL HIDDEN TEXT hidden or something!
2. I actually woke up, rolled over in bed.. screamed really loud "JD! What the hell are you doing to my laundry!" and he just giggled and announced his retirement. I still don't have any socks. :(
3. No. Mine! Or I will help you not.
4. Actually, I've been working at RPGamer for a couple months now. I almost finished my 2nd editorials update before they got me doing this, (No, seriously, I'm updating Eds this weekend!) so you just take your superiority complex back to wherever you bought it from and get yer money back, buster.
5. Poseidon does too like me. But I tell ya, it's those sea nymphs that really like me. That sounded naughty, didn't it. heh.
6. I, uh, hate hot chicks, (squints, damnit, hard to read those cue cards), uh, they suck.
7. I'm really into a lot of music, but currently I dig on Techno. Crystal Method is one of my favorites, I also heard the new Cranberries CD, and it kicks butt, er, I like lots of things. Bach's Brandenburg Concertos also rule.. NSYNC sucks though. Especially that blonde guy that all the girls like. He sucks a lot.

Quickies for President

Okay, okay.

*Hums the national anthem*

I'll go get me a towel!

Hey Brad, My name has "Monkey" in it. -SeaMonkey

And that's why I posted your message.. you naughty little monkey!

Brad, what is your favortie Cid from the Final Fantasy series? And Which do you think is going to be better, Wild Arms 1 or 2?

I don't know about Wild ARMs 1 or 2 being better, (probably 2), but my favorite Cid of all would have to be the one from FF2, he was goofy, and he hit stuff with a hammer. Honorable mention to FF7's Cid.

The pronunciation you were looking for is 'Keestis Treep.' At least, that's the best English pronunciation of the Japanese katakana for the Sensei's name. Thought you might like to know.

There ya are, folks, from a guy who knows more japanese than I do, which, well, isn't hard.

Words from the Wise One:

Well, not a bad show if I do say so myself.. I'm now halfway through my first week, and the bite marks from that one reader who thought I was some sort of chew-toy are fading, as is my ability to stay awake. I had a math test this morning. Vectors. I'd talk about it more, but I just realized how utterly boring a subject vectors really are. Kinda like cantaloupe. 'Cept cantaloupe is fun to eat, and you can't make lame eloping jokes with vectors... (continue to ramble for 20 more minutes) and anyways, like I was saying, I'm off to bed. Niggggghttttt

Brad "Life is like a box of chocolates. Eat me." Lohr

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