The Oracle
Gimmie Quickies!
The Oracle, Brad Lohr - September '99- 02:35 PDT

Talk about reaction. I don't even think I got a "lot" of email response from yesterday, but it was something like 113 emails. Okay, so it was exactly 113 emails. But who's counting? Besides me, of course. Anyways, I can sum up 85% of the emails in three quick little sentences: "GIMMIE QUICKIES!", "Hey, what do you think about FF8?", and "Where's the hidden text?"

Since this is a Q&A column, I shall answer these questions, and more!

1. Alright, alright! Geez, it was late, I'm just getting used to this, you wanna quickie, let's go in the bac-- OOH WAIT, gotcha. Heh, I'm such a perv sometimes.

2. I think it's fun. I'm having a good time going through it, and I thank all of you who pointed out little tips on helping me through it all.

3. What hidden text? I don't see any hidden text.. and yeah.. um.. if there were hidden text, you don't think I'd leave it where you could easily find it, would I? Oh no, I'm much more clever than your average Q&A guy, who not-so-cleverly doesn't put hidden text in the same easy-to-find spot, not that there is really any text to begin with, I mean, that is, erm.. It's not here, look elsewhere!

Anyways, back to the column.. I got a lot more stuff to work with this week, I even got a couple people who told me that I sucked. Talk about a fun day. And you know what? I just might suck, that's always a possibility, but just in case I don't suck, I'll let you see what they had to say and then I'll make fun of them for a little bit, so ya'll can have fun at their expense too. Which isn't to say, "Send a flame, get posted." No, I have to keep down the Lame Letter of the Day to one, or maybe two if it's a really lame day.. and heck, if you send me a really lame "U rewl bRaD 3y3 wanNa b just like U!!!" then .. well, I'll just be so ashamed to be loved by you, I might have to cry. Or make fun of you. Probably make fun of you, since that's what my evil witch doc-- er, psychiatrist said was cool.

And now, without any further rambling from my quasi-militant self.... the goods.

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FF8: Shame on me, I have a Soul Reaver Review to write!
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This just in!
Heya Oracle!
Just so you know, Eidos isn't doing FF8. Square is now affiliated with Electronic Arts, so I think they will be doing the port. That said, do you know of any good RPG's for the PC? Stuff that is more Final Fantasy like than Dungeons and Dragons like?

The Great Banandy Man

Thanks for the update on the FF8PC issue. More news as I get it. As for good console-style RPGs on the PC, well, uh, there's a reason we call them console-style RPGs, and that's because you don't find too many on the PC. Without much experience in this realm, really, I'd say look to your classic Ultima titles, Fallout is definitely a great series to check out, and the upcoming Warcraft 3 sounds very, very good.

You say CD, I say.. DVD
The salary payments from SeeD seem based on how many steps you take, not time. Also, any idea on how to pronounce "SeeD"? Is it "See-Dee" or "seed?"


I'd never thought to say it anything other than "seed" like from a plant. But the other way makes sense as well. And I've heard several different numbers on how many steps you take between cash-money payments for the troops comin' in. Anyone got a good source of the real number of steps between paydays?

Hooked on Junctonics worked for me!
Oh high and mighty Oracle,
[Editor's note: By the way, a very good way to start out your question ;)]

Oh please, oh please, oh please, oh PLEASE explain FFVIII's Junction System. The in game tutorial blows, and making an effort to figure it out on my own would require thinking. I'm not really dumb. Just havin' a lazy streak right now. Oh yeah... HEIL LOHR!

-Nall the CAT

Alright, well, here goes. The Junction System works like this. You've got Gaurdian Forces. You've got magic. When you Junct(abreviation for Junction hereforth) a GF to a person, they also have new openings for Juncting magics, and abilities. The abilities are like your Yellow and Purple Materia from FF7, extra commands for your battle menu, and independent abilitise (such as Encounter Rate Down). The slots are a lot like your blue materia in FF7. They allow you to stick some magic that you've robbe- er, earned onto a defensive, offensive, or stat point. Different GFs allow you to Junct to different places. Ifrit allows you to Junct to strength. So if you have some attack magic, it makes sense to Junct it to your strength stat. If you've got lots of Blind magic, try linking it to your status attack command, so that when you snap your whip, it blinds the enemy too. Or throw some Aero onto your Elemental Attack slot, and take those pesky airborne creatures down with your new Air-Enhanced attack. That's the gist, oh, and by the way, the more you have of a spell, the more effect it will have on what you've Juncted it to. Try Juncting 100 Life spells to your HP for a nice happy extra 2000 HP or so. Enjoy!

Someone get this girl a real man!
I have a little problem here. My boyfriend has almost every single game there is to own when it comes to RPG's. The thing is, I don't know what kind of games he likes; whether he has them or not, I still don't know. So, what do I do with a boyfriend who wants everything, but has 80% of it already? Please help me, Chicken Monkey Brad. Only you, who makes the world a better place for large logs of salami, can help me.

- Susan Richner

Like the title says, get yourself a real man. Not a man with only 80% of them. Go for the real thing, a REAL RPGamer, who has 100% of the RPGs! I think Alex has 100%.. I'll hook you two up.

Brad under pressure part 1
And now, ladies and gentlemen, a series of (partially) inane questions for the new kew and ay guy.

1) Don't you think that Squall looks a little.... fruity?
2) Do you think the Thousand Arms "dating" sequences will be a godsend to RPG fanboys who never see the light of the sun?
3) What the best PC RPG out there? (Besides Baldur's Gate)
4) What would Brain Boitano do?
5) Is Pok¸mon -really- classified as an RPG?
6) Do you realize how long it took me to figure out how to make one of those damn "¸" things?
7) When is Lunar Eternal Blue coming out and for which system? (PSX or PS2)
8) I've heard that squaresoft is considering either PS2 or the Dolphin. Which would you say they are leaning toward?
9) Isn't the name "Dolphin" a little fruity too? It sounds like a console that Greenpeace would release? ?(Made from 100% recycled Jaguars and Sega CD's)
10) Is it just me, or does this site seem to ignore the PC market? I've seen no mention of Baldur's Gate, X-Files, etc.

Cheshire Catalyst

1. Squall seems quite a bit more manly than Cloud did, of course... so did Aeris...
2. What's this "Sun" thing you're talking about?
3. Best PC RPG out there including Baldur's gate is the Fallout Series. Worship it.
4. You mean Brian?
5. How many licks does it take to get to the center of Zelda:Ocarina of Time?
6. Try é in HTML
7. It looks like the PSX, and 'Winter 99' as the release date, but we all know WD, lovable, delaying, "Hey this cloth map smells like.. ugghhghgh *coma*" Working Designs, (No, seriously, they did an awesome job, I'm just messin' with them because they're cool, and hell, gotta razz 'em a bit for their reputation, eh?)
8. If you were a square, would you go anywhere near those slick, curvy dolphins? Don't ask me, I'm not a square.
9. The only games on a Greenpeace console would be fishing and golf games... and the worst part is, they'd STILL SELL GAMES.
10. Talk to Zac about PC coverage, he's our man in that department. He's only started a couple months ago, and he's doing great work updating our site to cover PC games as well, so don't harsh his gig too much.

So Brad, what are you wearing?
Well let me say greetings yesterday you presented yourself well in the Q&A department. Now to my question. What are your three favorite RPGs and why? Well just thought I'd ask Well cause I wanted to.


Do you mind if I call you Great Lord of the Spiff? No? Great. Alright, then.. CapnSpiffy, my three favorites, subject to change depending on my mood, were, 1. Tactics Ogre. 2. Star Ocean 2. and 3. Suikoden. Note, those are only PSX games, but comparing PSX with SNES and NES just isn't fair. I also loved FF6, Chrono Trigger, Vandal Hearts, Wild ARMs, and tons more. What can I say, I'm easy. er, to please.

Revenge of the Quickies

Dance, monkey, dance!

Uh, okay! *shake my booty* I am Disco, King of Figaro!

I hAvE YoUr PrEcIoUs MoNkEy fOr RaNsOm. GiVe mE a CoPy of FF8 oR YoU wIlL nEvEr SeE iT aGaiN!!!!!!

*Start News Broadcast* And this is the closest you will ever get to that two million doll--, er, FF8 that you wanted so much. And I swear, uh, I haven't watched the movie enough times to know what Mel says next.

YOU ARE NOT JD....give him back
-Anonymous Coward

No. He's mine. So nyah.

Do you know if Suikoden 2 is a direct sequel to the first?

As I've heard, it's not a direct sequel afterwards, but it does take place in the same world at near the same time, so don't lose your old Suikoden save data!

Words from the Wise One:

Okay, so I didn't post the flame.. It just didn't seem as much fun when I got down to it on my list.. oh well. It basically said I had little grasp of the english language and then something about my latent homosexuality. I can't come back after such a devastating attack on my psyche, so I'm off to bed. But there are no boys in my bed tonight. Well, 'cept for me. Anyways, I'm totally outta here, sleep is imminent... and.. I part!

Brad "Frungy, sport of kings!" Lohr

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