Mail Us! I Matt's Mail is DOWNI Old columns I Really old columns
Esuna or Elata November 30, 2005

Matt Demers - 01:41 EST

BACK UP AT LAST, the mail is, and healthier this column should grow because of it. Now I can even come prepared with letters... no more sorry excuses like that, um, sorry excuse we had a couple of days ago.

Well, I can get back to my introductory whinings, can't I?

Tell me how stupid this is: The head of the math and statistics department here assigned me to help oversee an undergraduate exam at the EXACT time of my only final examination. After bringing the oversight to his attention, I got shuffled around, and now I have to be in this city for December 15th, dammit. Puppy-dog-eyed first-year students have also asked me to run special tutoring sessions for them a day before THEIR exam, so I have to take yet ANOTHER day out of my precious holiday for THEM, though I love them so...

Moral of the story? After considering travel time and other resulting annoyances, I've lost an extra 72 hours of my winter break in the last day. At this rate, I'll be down to zero in no time, and the vacation will never actually get here!

O... sigh. Last day of November! Time to start decorating...but before that, let's fish around to see if there are any e-mails kicking around desiring some attention. Today's column might end up being short, but we'll be back up and running once things accelerate back to normal, I believe!

Oh, he SCORES! I hate you

I have to take back the classic=boring comparison I gave to Dragon Quest VIII in an earlier letter. The game is loads of fun now that I'm almost 9 hours in Next time I won't rely on just the demo to mould my opinion.


A lesson to be learned by many! Demos might be there to shut up salivating fans, but they aren't always reflective of the game on the whole. The actual game blows away the demo, and I think most people would agree on that. I'm slowly coming to wonder if Dragon Quest VIII will become one of my most favourite RPGs of all time- not just on the PS2.

As for Star Ocean and FFXII - you do have the ability to control your teamates... that's the best part about it! That if you don't like what they're doing, you can switch characters mid-battle and do a quick heal and switch back! It quickens the pace and adds a greater amount of fun (as well as stress) to the game. Luckily, the characters' gambits in FFXII made them fairly competent, though I will look forward to changing that around in the full release.



NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! You terrible fiend... you trapped me in my own response! For the sake of consistency, I have to say that YES: My experience with Final Fantasy 12 has been solely through the demo disc, and when all the bells and whistles are included in the final version, maybe my socks will be adequately knocked-off.


Um, I mostly just thought that battling seemed so chaotic and unorganized. Also, you're talking to a guy who used to LIVE for new and excited Final Fantasy background battle music, so that's my other big disapopintment. The real thing might be absolutely enthralling though, so I shall reserve final judgment for when I obtain my personal copy sometime next year!

As for Star Ocean... you shouldn't HAVE to jump in and make them do what you say, espcially when you're concentrating on cheese-grating an opponent with 141325-hit combos. They should be your support; but they instead seem to cause undue need for constant life-support.

Two Hundred and Fifty Grandia

Hey Matt

How many grandia games have [you] complete[d?]

By:Ragnar Mørkøre


The answer is: Zero. I don't know that many people have, either, to be honest with you, though I assume you write the question in because you are one of them. The original came at an awkward time for me on an awkward system. I didn't have a Sega Saturn or the original Playstation console, and by the time later Grandias came along, I didn't have the money anyway.

By all accounts, they seemed like solid games, and I'm sure that they have a fanbase out there somewhere. If this is true, though, they're not very vocal; at least around here, unless I've gone blind over the past few days.

Grandia 3 was just released a few months ago in Japan, and there was a bit of news that went up a little bit ago; it pertained to a possible release in the future in North America. Maybe this will be my opportunity to jump into the series!

Another shortie. Shorty? (which spelling do YOU like better?)

Can you use a computer joystick to play fable the lost chapters on pc?



You know how I discovered that, too, by the way? I put your entire question into Google and searched, and clicked the third link. If the people at that message board aren't just talkin' hogwash, then it would appear that you'll be doomed to using the dreaded keyboard to do everything; reason #52316 why PC gaming is not all it's cracked up to be.

On the bright side, I've heard that The Lost Chapters is supposed to be a nice improvement over its unremarkable older brother. Maybe it'll be worth the extra effort!

What is this?? Thanksgiving must have made you guys really tired

so what people are in dirge of cerbus are the original characters in or are there any extra and what are there purposes


I haven't played it! Do you know?

I just assume it's just a certain Final Fantasy VII character running around trying to be everyone's favourite creepy heartthrob after going on strike and quitting the genre; I didn't realize his contract was so negotiable. I will say, though, that if there are four-player first-person battle royals involving colour-swapped versions of Vincent set in around contrived building-mazes, I will be quite unenthused. What am I saying? I'm already unenthused.

A little bit of research tells me that Cait Sith and Cid might be in the works though; stay tuned for more, you crazy gunner! Anyway, I don't know what there purposes are, but here purposes I might be able to give you a hand with. Yeah, that was bad... but the game is still a long ways off, and I'm sure that the mists will clear as time goes on. Never fear!

Hey- YOU try battling ogres and tell me how easy it is!

I pretty much have every game I want. What I want for the holidays is time to finish the games I already have!


Man, I hear ya... and with a Christmas list composed largely of games, I can only imagine what the backlog will be like come January. *runs and hides*

Why are the Ogre Battle games so difficult? I played the SNES one and got about halfway thru the adventure before it got too hard. With the N64 version I got about 60% of the way through. Frustrating!



Ogre Battle 64 WAS hard, wasn't it? I got to one map at the end of my 3-evening rental from Blockbuster all those years ago that I just could NOT progress through. There would be one or two fights therein that would just rip me to shreds. It was refreshing, and it would have inspired me to work hard if I had actually owned the game. For some inexplicable reason, though, I never did, despite the fact that it's one of the best RPGs that came out for the system (not REALLY a difficult task to perform...but details, details).

I've never experienced the SNES version before, so I cannot cry with you there, I'm afraid. I always like a little bit of frustration, because when you finally succeed, you feel such a great washover of joy and relief. I live for that feeling! Well, that, and silk underwear. Mmmmm silk underwear.


SO, barring any unforseen circumstances, our first guest-columnists, Ourobolus and DDX, have both expressed interest in sharing the spotlight with me next week, so keep your eyes peeled for them on Monday or Tuesday next. It should be, as they say, a "funfun".

Also, I'll probably be in a remarkably good mood by next Monday, with my exam out of the way and vacation to worry about. It's almost here at last!!


Thanks to the oft-mentioned problems, I'll keep last Thursday's questions up for one more day. Prepare for a really funny Chrono Trigger Question tomorrow... WAHAHAHA!

Question #59: Follow me!--> In Chrono Trigger, which of the following characters muses about consuming which other at one point? (20 points)

a) Robo/Frog
b) Marle/Frog
c) Ayla/Frog
d) Robo/Marle
e) Ayla/Robo

Question #60: (25 points) What is the product of all factors of the number of this question?

a) 777600000
b) 972000000
c) 3888000000
d) 9331200000
e) 46656000000

Unfortunately, my own e-mail is still not up, so QNA is still your best bet. Send your responses to this place here and you'll be guaranteed, as promised, a minimum of EIGHT points (increased from four, due to inflation).

Things to work for (the SOCK item shop!):

200 points: Tilde (infinite number remaining!)
500 points: Guest-co-host Opportunity #1 (5 remaining!)
700 points: The Final Fantasy 1 "Official" Crazed-Chipmunk-Hold-your-Ears Soundtrack (5 remaining!)
1000 points: The Mattie's Mom Cookie Recipe Compilation (5 remaining!)
2000 points: Guest-co-host Opportunity #2 (5 remaining!)

Remember!! Starting soon, I'll be putting up YOUR submissions for questions, and if you send an idea in that makes it into the column, I'll award you twice the point value I assign to the question in the end! Pretty good deal, huh? Pretty good way to catch up if you're a little bit behind, huh??

Hopefully the week has started off soundly for everyone! It's been a hoot for me, thanks to the owl that's been staring at me through my window from time to time. No, not a bird; it's my next-door neighbour, and I don't have drapes to defend myself against the evils of his eyes. Maybe I shouldn't be telling all of you this...

Maybe then, I'll wrap it up here and NOW. Oh, before I go: Send me mail... I can't do columns without it, and we need to get this baby back on track, wouldn't you agree? If you like, tell me your thoughts on the deluge of Final Fantasy VII sequels that seem to be en route to inundating us. Good? Bad? Ugly? Let me know, and I'll let YOU know what I think!

That's all for now.
***Matt is happy that gummi worms aren't ever alive.

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Cookie o' the Week:

Mattie's False Delight Cookies

What to do when rpgamer is paralyzed? Well, of course... you dig into the Doctor's Book of Home Remedies and look up a cure to paralysis. Hmm... maybe that's not feasible in real life, but in the RPG world? Oh ho ho!!

-3 Moonwort Herbs
-12 Golden Needles
-1 cup of powdered Robaxacet
-1 cup of vanilla-scented massage oil

Crush the herbs and blend with half of the oil. After dipping a needle into the oil, roll in the herbal mixture until it is the width of a finger. Dip in the Robaxacet. Repeat for all of the needles, and then bake in a 400 degree oven until the medicinal coating is slightly charred. Try not to throw it up, and you might just recover from whatever ailment ails you, provided it's a movement-hindering one.

SOCK standings:

1. Ourobolus
535 pts

2. DDX
522 pts

3. Jbumi
478 pts

4. Flamethrower
344 pts

5. MagRowan
295 pts

6. Arros Raikou
294 pts

7. Xlash
280 pts

8. Jeremy
267 pts

9. Bainick
256 pts

10. ~Sean~~
219 pts

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