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Chew Thoroughly October 24, 2005

Matt Demers - 22:43 EST

IT IS SOMETHING of a hopeless dream; to go to a test or an exam without a clue, only to be stunningly surrounded by angels singing your praises and bestowing upon you correct answers or boundless knowledge.

I didn't get the angels. However, it was Friday night-- this past Friday night. I wasn't really in a great mood, even though the day had been chiefly a quiet one, and as I lay me down to sleep, all felt quite normal.

*insert dream sequence opening chimes*

I found myself dreaming about being in my office on campus; something I've never dreamt before, but there's a first time for everything, I guess. Anyway, a few random people were about, including a professor, a family member, and a couple of friends, when I realized that I was working on an assignment: the very one that I have due today. Now, in real life, I had been having much trouble grasping Question #3, and indeed, I had nearly given up after much thought had been invested. In my dream, I came upon Question #3, and I remember clearly saying "Hmm!" out loud in a corny, Full House-ish way; I then proceeded to write up the solution in a flair of pencil and paper valiance.

It can't have been long afterwards, when I awoke with a start, and then leapt up in a flourish to grab my binder and pencilcase. Within ten minutes, I had what seemed to be (and seems to be, still) a perfect solution to the question that had plagued me for an entire week prior.

Lesson to be learned? Hells if I know... but this is the first time in history I've ever had the answers just come to me randomly in a dream, and if this could start happening with some regularity, I'd be most happy indeed. The human brain is really damn strange.

Anyway, that gave me plenty of time this weekend to fool around mindlessly online, which is, by the way, a very dangerous thing for me to do. My sister, Diane, and I ended up spending a large amount of time recording and sending to each other sped-up vocal versions of various Final Fantasy Themes. Am I nerd? Need we ask? Check them out:

Sound familiar?

So, now that I've firmly established my insanity, shall we get to today's selection?

Then said Matt: "O sigh"

Hey, Matt. First-time writer here. <_< While I'm sure the person who sent you the list of questions will also write to inform you of this, I couldn't hold back. Final Fantasy Adventure is, indeed, all that you said [first Seiken Densetsu game]. Final Fantasy Legend, however, is actually the first game of the SaGa series, which later saw three Super Famicom installments [Romancing SaGa 1-3] not cross to the States, two PS1 releases [SaGa Frontier 1-2], and thus far two PS2 titles, Unlimited SaGa [nearly universally hated, though it has a few fans] and Romancing SaGa [a remake of the first SFC game in the series], all four of which did make it Stateside. [Both FFL II and III are also part of the series, in case you were wondering]. Basically Square's other use of the Final Fantasy name to sell more copies than they believed would otherwise happen [and were probably right, I suppose].

And now you know. >_>


Hey shifty-eyes... yes, yes, your trusted host hath failed you again.

In all honesty, I DID know to begin with, even if knew only through seeing the Final Fantasy Legend games included with the SaGa titles in RPGamer's game listings once upon a time; but it didn't really cross my mind as I wrote the segment last week. THUS, you all have my sincerest apologies. Regardless, though, everything I said about them is still true; the games are pretty blah, overall; battles feel Mystic-Questish, and Mr.S does exist, unless he's just another figment of my imagination. Of course, given my subconscious realm on Friday night, a figment might just be good enough anyway.

Well, now that I've started, I might as well toss in a couple questions. First off, sorry if I've missed it, but just what is your name on Slime Knights [assuming you have one and are willing to expose yourself]? Great place, but I haven't seen anyone I've pegged as being "you"...unless you're that fellow Matt I remember seeing around a few weeks back. =P

Any opinions on the X-Men Legends games? I've gotten some recommendations from a friend who loved 'em, and I then decided to see what you thought. [Yes, this came to mind because I'm watching one of the movies. The second one, but you don't care. ^_~]

And to close this off, I'd like to thank you for being one of the few I've found who didn't dismiss FFX-2's soundtrack as being trash. I'm especially fond of that opening piano-based tune "Eternity ~Memory of Lightwaves~", which got such a gorgeous Piano Collections arrangement that it [that is, the PC] is the only VG soundtrack-related CD I've imported thus far. [Look it up if you haven't already; the whole thing's worth hearing].

Erunion of the Slime Knights


Aha, a fellow Slime Knight, are you? Not surprisingly, I'm "Wonderslime" of the Slime Knights, though I've hardly done anything except vote in polls and make a couple of postings to gain mini-medals, or whatever they're calling them now. At least, I think I'm Wonderslime, but in any event, I haven't had the motivation to pursue any of the lofty goals, since the rest of my life has been slightly chaotic since I joined. The joining was mostly to send a "YES I'M ANOTHER FAN" message to the people in charge.

I've played a little bit of X-Men Legends, and I guess it would be pretty cool if I liked comics or remembered the movies well. The concept certainly lends itself well to gaming, including RPGs, and the game seems to be fairly well-put-together, which is a plus. The worst thing about it that I can remember is that it was for my friend Dave's XBox, so I spent half the time bumbling with the controller; its crazy switching of the A/B and X/Y buttons from the happy, warm, familiar SNES arrangement truly blows my mind apart.

And finally, you're welcome. The music in FFX-2 is obviously different than that of FFX, but so is the rest of the game, and I think the music suits it well, all-in-all. The boss theme, in particular, is something I enjoy very highly, as well as some of the dark/mysterious/evil themes from the game, few in number as they may be.

Atelier Iris, hmm?

Hi, Matt, I'll start off with SOCK answers. 21 is The Word Bag (how fitting! Hey, I love Cast too, but he does love to talk!). As to 22, I'd say "e" because it sounds like something he'd think up.

<3 COOKIES!!<3 That's a cool idea. Since I'm a working stiff, nothing is more appealing than free food!! And homebaked - ooh, I'm having a Homer Simpson moment!!!

As you're also an Atelier Iris fan, did you hear that, ala The Black Mages, a Japanese band named Saitama Ultimate Weapon is releasing a hard rock album of Atelier Iris music? I like the AI soundtrack & think this could be interesting.

Have a great weekend.



Hmm, I didn't really mean COOKIES as much as I meant cookie recipes, but whatever. With adequate shipping and handling, sure, I'd send out cookies of my own, though they'd probably be stale by the time they arrived at their destination... especially if you're Bainick, or one of our other Australian readers. Then again, some people eat Vegemite down there, which I've heard is nothing but purely awful, so maybe even my three-week old cookies could make the cut.

About the musical stuff, though, that is interesting. To this point, I've been quite underwhelmed, so to speak, by Atelier Iris' soundtrack, but I assume that there is much game for me left to play, so I haven't given up yet. Perhaps people have noted that the Black Mages sell out immediately wherever they go, and have decided to follow suit. I had the opportunity to go this summer, since I believe they held a concert in Detroit, but alas; I had previously anchored-in plans.

Aww, it's OK

Dear Matt

Heh heh, sorry about that intermidably long letter from last week. I tend to get really talkative when the topic is Megaman Legends. I know you're new as a QnA host and all, but you shouldn't feel forced to print a letter so long that it could cause death by loss of stamina.


Bah, it was a pleasure. You had every right to construct such a fine tribute to a game that few others seem to know about, even if it really was the War & Peace of Q&A letters. Also, my left eye is really itchy all of a sudden...

At least I have a short question this time. Everyone knows by now that Square-Enix is on a remake frenzy for Final Fantasy III through VI, but what about the game that everyone wants them to remake, Chrono Trigger? Do you think they may get to that game eventually, or are they just sticking with the Final Fantasy series? It just seems like Square-Enix has completely forgotten about it lately, as they have this ambitious project to revive the Seiken Densetsu series and started remaking all pre-Playstation Final Fantasies, so why can't they show the same kind of love to the Chrono series? I say they should remake Chrono Trigger while the momentum from remaking Final Fantasy III through VI is still strong.



...and another re-make lover enters the ring!

I guess lots of news has come to light since last week, including all of those tasty Final Fantasy III screens, and maybe the info on Final Fantasy IV's bonus dungeon (I can't remember when that news went up last week). Ah, I cannot wait to see everything they've done with FFIII... the first game of the series with a real job system, it could be REALLY, REALLY good with just a couple of tweaks.

Chrono Trigger though? I can guarantee you that they haven't forgotten about it; they're well aware that it is one of the most popular and best-liked RPG series of all time. They'll release another remake one day... I think that's a pretty safe gamble. Another game in the series, though, would be better. After all, they need to redeem themselves after that Chrono Cross game, which was OKAY but certainly nothing too much more than that.

A stab at the unstabbable stabber (Blades STAB, get it?)

Hey Matt. Let's see if I fare any better than you. :x

#1: In Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past, what tool did you use to get into the heavily guarded castle for the first time?
-You use your brawny arms. You sneak in during the rain, grab a bush, fall down the whole, and get a sword/shield.

#2: In Final Fantasy 8, what was the item in question you had to get and exchange in order to obtain the Shiva Card?
-You need to give one of the Timber guys his porn magazine back, Girl Next Door

#3: In Final Fantasy Tactics, what was the name of the stone used to activate the Time Machine that brought Cloud to Ivalice?
-Scorpio, I think.

#4: In Disgaea: Hour of Darkness, what weapon is this description referring to?: "Some famous guy's sword. Used, of course."
-I need to play more Digaea, it seems.

#5: What RPG series is Thracia 776 a part of?
-How could I not know this is a Fire Emblem game? That, and it's a funky idea, because it takes place "inside" the previous title in the series.

#6: What's the difference between Final Fantasy Legend and Final Fantasy Adventure? -Matt forgot to mentioned that the FFL games were part of the SaGa series.

#7: What GBA RPG involves a man who follows in his father's footsteps by customizing and dueling with automobiles?
-Sounds like Robopon, though I've never played it.

#8: What N64 RPG does Super Soldier Johnny Slader star in?
-I regretted every moment I played that damn Hybrid Heaven game. Thankfully, it's been so long that the only thing I remember was that I hated it, and a few character names.

Hope I got some right

-Paws =^^=


Yup, sounds like you did.

I don't know though, we'll need BLADE to write back and tell us sometime soon, before everyone forgets the questions to begin with! Anyone know him?

I guess I don't always pay 100% attention as I'm going through some games, so I don't remember specific things like names of Disgaea weapons or the order of item-acquisition in Legend of Zelda. On the other hand, I've played through every NES Dragon Warrior game so many times that I know every single monster's spell list and HP without a second thought. Ahhhh well, this trivia business is fun when it's directed back at me. Fun, but humbling, that is.

A sad, emotional withdrawal

Hey It's a Wonderful Slime,

Well, it's been real, and it's been fun. Heck, it's even been real fun. Jbumi is sooooooooooo lucky!

For I must take off my SOCKs and turn in my points. I'm now a proud new member of RPGamer's fine staff, so I'll soon make my own mark on the site without having to guest host. As Andrew said, I'm working on a undisclosed project of doom, though I think we'll get around to announcing what I'm doing before much longer. At any rate, I think it's going to be a lot of fun, and hopefully not just for me!

But, Matt, um, the tilde is mine. I'm keeping that. It's, uh, sentimental, okay?

- Nwash-omel (Yeah, can't believe someone thought I was Cast. That's too funny.)


Nwash! We'll all miss you... and coincidentally, the emotional vocal from Xenosaga: Episode I just came on my Window Media Player playlist as soon as I started writing my response here, so I'm having difficulty keeping a straight face as I type here. Jbumi should indeed breathe a sigh of relief, since you were consistently way too lucky in your trivia-guessing.

We all look forward to seeing what you have in store. I wonder what mysterious things could be in the works at RPGamer? Oooohh... stay tuned! Hint: He's not taking over Andrew's spot in Q&A, because we all know he had way too few SOCK points to begin with. Maybe we'll see a Q&A from him one of these days, though.

At any rate, good luck with the new position!!

Your two front teeth

Dear Strong Bad,

I only play turn-based RPG's and with Christmas around the corner, what should I ask for? PS2 only.

Crapfully yours,

ps- How do you type with boxing gloves on your hands?


Ahahahahahahahahaha! A new king of negativity, I see, for I have not once to this day received a letter that was addressed in a crapful manner.

Well, two can play this game: You shouldn't ask for anything, because the naughty people will only receive coal in their stockings come the morn of December 25, or the night of December 24, or whatever happens in your house. If, however, you can prove to me-er-Santa-- that you can be good and send things "sincerely" or "truly", you might be able to save yourself from a carbonous fate.

Really though, what recommendation were you expecting from coming here and asking? Everyone, now, together: Matt is GOING to recommend Dragon Quest VIII to anyone looking for any RPG this fall/winter. Now hopefully I don't end up eating my words, but judging from the demo alone, the game looks to be absolutely fantastic, whether you're a longtime fan of Dragon Quest or not.

If you're still draggin' your feet about the whole thing, there's a new Mario & Luigi game coming out soon that I'm personally excited about as well. Oh, but forget it... you wanted PS2 only. OK, so yeah, Dragon Quest VIII. Get that one. If you haven't played them already, Xenosaga: Episode II was okay, and also, many have lauded the newest installment of Shadow Hearts. Thus, you could try those out for a spin as well.


So, that's the first to kick off this week. It had its ups and downs, but we finally got here to the end, where all good things must come to eventually... as well as most bad things, come to think of it.

Anyway, if we can think back to last week's questions, we'll remember that they were somewhat weird. The majority of you guessed correctly; very interestingly, Andrew's nickname spelled backwards does translate loosely to e) The Word Bag in French, though if you translated precisely, it'd probably get flipped to "The Bag-Word" or something similar. Anyway, y'all get 15 points for being so SMRT.

Almost all of ye got the second part wrong though. I totally thought of it independently d) while at the gym on the treadmill, which as I've said once or twice before is where I do a lot of thinking about what I'm going to put into my next Q&A. 15 points for getting that one right, anyway.

Now, with Nwash gone, we have Jbumi leading the pack for (I believe) the first time. It won't be long before you get to work right alongside your favourite Matt to produce one of these columns yourself! All 5 chances to co-host are still available, so keep sending in your replies!

We have arrived at today's SOCKings. Ain't it exciting?

Question #23: If Matt were to only exist as a 16-bit sprite, which of the following would most closely resemble him right now? (15 points)

a) This, maybe?
b) Or this?
c) Perhaps this one?
d) What about this?
e) Could it be this?

Question #24: Which of the following has had the most significant negative impact on sorghum yields? (10 points)

a) Herbivorous Beetles
b) Caterpillars
c) Fungi and Nematodes
d) Birds
e) Extreme Heat

Congratulations to OUROBOLUS, whose name I always misspell and surely mispronounce. Anyway, you are the fourth to obtain the quasilegendary tilde. So here you go:


Just send a quick message to my e-mail to answer today's questions! It's as easy as that. Attach a question for the column while you're at it, too.

I've added a couple of things to the list! What suits your pleasure? Don't worry... you don't actually SPEND your points when you earn something, or no one would get past 100. Behold!

Things to work for (the SOCK item shop!):

100 points: Tilde (infinite number remaining!)
500 points: Guest-co-host Opportunity #1 (5 remaining!)
700 points: The Final Fantasy 1 "Official" Crazed-Chipmunk-Hold-your-Ears Soundtrack (5 remaining!)
1000 points: The Mattie's Mom Cookie Recipe Compilation (5 remaining!)
100000000 points: All-expenses-paid trip to E3 (can this be yours??)

That's right!! A full recording of lots more annoying sound-bites can be yours, if it is your desire! And, what the hey... my mom would be honoured to have her recipes featured as a prize to shoot for.

I hope it's been as enjoyable reading as it was enjoyable to write. There shall be another in the morrow. Bye bye!
***Matt thinks that cold rain is FAR worse than colder snow.

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Ah, sprite-construction; it reminds me of my RPG-making days...


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About the Host

Matt's Next Unhealthy Addiction

Another Unhealthy Addiction

Matt's Top 3 Current Games:

1. Makai Kingdom
2. Atelier Iris: Eternal Mana
3. Warioware: Twisted!

Matt's Top 3 RPG Desires:

1. Dragon Quest VIII
2. Final Fantasy III

3. Mario & Luigi: PiT

Cookie o' the Week:

Mattie's Mid-Semester Cookies

You can do lots of fun things with these; if midterms are making you suicidal, you can eat them, or you could use them as projectiles to whip at your teachers/professors-of-choice!

-1 1/2 cups butter

-1 1/2 cups flour

-3 eggs

-2 tbsp gunpowder

-1/2 tbsp cement mix

-3 oz. cactus spines

-1/2 tsp cinnamon

Mix together the butter, flour, gunpowder, cement mix, and eggs until very well combined. Roll into balls, and place outside, preferably when sunny, for 45 minutes to 1 hour, or until moist but firm. One at a time, press cactus spines into balls to create an urchin-like result. Bake in a 350 degree oven until rock-hard, and then sprinkle with cinnamon. Use one of the cactus spines as a fuse to create a needle-bomb, or simply whip at detestable people for fun!

SOCK standings:

1. Nwash
Exits with 245 pts

2. Jbumi
210 pts

3. DDX
125 pts

4. Ourobolus
105 pts

5. Binser
95 pts

6. Arros Raikou
84 pts

7. Angel0886
62 pts

8. Yugiohfan1986
61 pts

9. darkcecil13
57 pts

10. Gryphon
52 pts

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