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LordBrian - August 12th '01- 2:00 Eastern Standard Time

Well, here we are again. I have about as much to say in this intro as I always do, which is to say not much. Lesse, something interesting...oh, I know. Did you see that Okage trailer on the front page? Probably ignored it, but it's there. Anyway, the uncompressed version of that movie was roughly 2 GB in size, and it was only 1 minute 11 seconds long. Think about downloading that over a 56k modem. And on a more column related note, I'm sick of posting those spoiler warnings, so here's my new policy: if a game was released more than 6 months ago, it's open season for spoilers. Watch out.

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Though Bahamut Zero was pretty cool, too

Actually, I HAVE the game EVO. Neat concept, but they really didn't build on it enough. It only affected your stats, and there were almost zilch special powers to be found. However, the thought of going through time and affecting evolution was still good. Perhaps a future remake will get it just right.

And now for the question: What was the coolest weapon you've ever seen in an RPG? My choices are torn between the Nuke in Final Fantasy Legend (I never got one, but I heard they can clear the ENTIRE MAP of monsters) and the SMG in Fallout (nothing beats burst).

-Mike Lemmer "Things make a lot more sense when you're insane."

Coolest weapon ever? Thunder God Cid from Final Fantasy Tactics. He was a one man army.

Maybe you should think about playing a different game for a change

I read yesterday that you enjoy the game Xenogears, so here are a few Xeno related questions for you.

1. I am currently on my 4th time through the game, and I decided to make the ultimate Xenogears save by having everyone on level 99, and by maxing out all the characters HP, EP, strength, all combos and so on. Plus have all of their best equipment in and out of gears. (A pretty insane task considering it took me about 4 hours just to get enough money to max out Fei's HP and EP, since HP and EP drives are 20,000 G a piece.) So I was wondering if you could give me some places where the enemies give you a lot of gold, and or drop rare items I can sell for mad loot.

You can get a lot of rare items at Duneman's Island, which you can get to by going east from Bart's hideout. It's an island with some green spots and strange towers. Equip the traders card, then fight the dragons to get some items that'll sell for lots of cash. You can also fight in the snow outside of the crashed Shevat for money.

2. How long did it take you to complete the game?

I don't really remember, but it was somewhere between 50-60 hours.

3. How good were your characters at the end of the game?

Uh, good enough to beat the game. Not quite maxed out, though.

4. Is it just me or do you see way too much of Krelian's and Fei's booty in the ending, and not enough of Elly's?


The way I see it, if I see any male booty, it's too much. And yes, that bright spot in the ending was way too conveniently placed on Elly.

Details, details

Final Fantasy 6/3 had two characters named Zigfried and Sigfried. There seemed to be some connection between the two, but I never really found out anything interesting. Was I missing something or were the writers just fooling around?

As far as I know, they're the same character. Ziegfried (or however it's spelled) is just some guy that shows up from time to time and steals the stuff out of some treasure chests before you can get them. He thinks he's a great swordsman, but when you fight him he turns out to be really crappy. Until you fight him in the Coliseum by betting a Megalixir. Then he's pretty good, and says the other guy you fought was an imposter. He could be a different guy, or he could have spent the time in between meetings learning how to fight. Whatever the case, it makes no difference.

Same game had Shadows dreams. Has anyone completed all the dreams? What do they reveal? The fragments I have seen seem to be suggesting that Shadow is Relm's Father. Am I way off?

I'm fairly certain that since the game came out in 1994, someone has seen all the dreams by now. There's at least 5 dreams, each showing a different part of Shadow's past. The story the dreams tell is that before he became Shadow, his name was Clyde and he had an ally named Baram. Baram was injured in battle, and asked Clyde to end his suffering, which he couldn't do. In shame, he wandered to Thamasa, met a girl, and fell in love. They had a daughter (Relm), but Clyde was still filled with shame, so he wandered off again and became Shadow. The dreams you get when you sleep at the inns show that Shadow is still tormented by his past.

Final Fantasy 8 has a massive star shaped crater in the Northern area of the map. Does it serve a purpose?

Thanks from a loyal visitor,

I don't think so, I've never found a use for it. I've always just assumed that when the missiles were launched at Trabia, one missed and blew a hole in the ground.

It's spelled ownz0rs

Hiya there! Well.. this is really my first time asking a question, so I dunno if I'm doing this right but.. well gee, I guess I might as well chat with you first like everyone else does when they send you questions! So: Cecil just plains owns, dosen't he?

Yes, he sure does. I don't care who says he looks fruity as a paladin, he more than makes up for it in the kickass category.

Anyways, on to the questions: Do you know if the names (Tidus, Yuna, etc) of the character on FF10 right now are the final names, or will they be changed for the north american release? I somehow lost track of all that.. Thanks! :)

I'm not really sure, actually. I would think that they're pretty much done, but I wouldn't be surprised if they change before the North American release.

Did you catch the sandwich and menu pun? Very witty on my part, I though

Hey (monks sing) LORD BRI-AN
I was wondering, am I the only one who was disturbed at knowing that Kuja was a male? Honestly, am I the only one who thought he was a flat-chested woman? Also, noticed that many males (especilly in relationships) are horribly whipped in RPG's? Also, which cases are the most extreme? Is it since many females in RPG's are rather short-tempered?
Imperial Mog

Hey, Imperial Mog! No, you weren't the only one disturbed about Kuja's hidden innate maleness. I honestly thought he was just an ugly woman until they started referring to him as a "he," then I was just confused for a bit. I find it hard to tell genders apart in video games if both the men and the women wear makeup. And I don't know what you're talking about with the whipped part; many males in real life also appear to be horribly whipped. The key word there would be "appear." But I assume it's slightly more common in RPGs because the women never have a "make sandwich" option in the menu. Cecil in FF4 is a perfect example. He's always running around the world saving Rosa, be it searching for a ruby, or saving her from a blade of death, or whatever. He doesn't do it cause she's short tempered, though. He does it cause she's so...uh...nice (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).

Though a novelization of Xenogears wouldn't be that far of a stretch...

Got T.S. Eliot? Does this mean you're a Dark Tower fan? Hmmm..what if they made an RPG of THAT series?

Actually, I'm a fan of both Eliot and the Dark Tower series. Honestly, though, I'd hate to see a Dark Tower RPG, for the same reason I'd hate to see a book based on Final Fantasy 6. Each is created for a certain medium, and they'd lose something in the translation, guaranteed. As cool a concept as playing Roland is, I seriously doubt it would turn out that way in the end.

As to why he sent this in, your guess is as good as mine

Let's build a snowman!
We can make it our best friend!
We can name him Bill or we can name him...Beowulf!
We can make him tall or we can make him not-so-tall!

Bonus points to anyone who knows this movie.

......I'll be quiet now.


Cannibal the Musical. A horrible, horrible movie. Wanna see a good cannibal movie, watch Ravenous.


Wasn't your column title this week from Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse Five? (So it goes.) Or perhaps I'm simply deluded from reading too many books lately.


No, you caught the reference. I was on a literate roll last night.

why wont frogfucious talk to me after i save the princess from booster?


Maybe becuase you smell. Or maybe because you didn't go back to the castle in Mushroom Kingdom first.

Before I Go:

Tomorrow I'll be finishing up my weekend hosting (again, cause nobody told me otherwise), so try and send in some good stuff. Now excuse me while I go and play my Ico demo again, for the 4th time today. It's just too neat.

LordBrian "My first thought was, he lied in every word"
I like Ico like Fighter likes swords

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