Ask guifa  


Matthew Stuckwisch - June 16th ’02- 01:07 am Central Standard Time

Once again I appear out of the forest. I actually got a healthy number of letters with a great amount of variety. Thanks to all who contributed, I am going to have some fun with this one.

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What's this? An actual RPG-related question?

*waves to the guest-hosty type person*

 I don’t know if you’ve played Skies of Arcadia or not, but I’ll just ask this on the off chance that you have.  (If you haven’t, go buy a Dreamcast and play it.  Now.) 

 I’m at the part in the second disc where you’re in Low Sky looking for Fina’s ship, but I can’t seem to find it anywhere.  All I can dig up are these easy, yet really annoying moster things.  I would just go look at an FAQ, but none of them cover that part.  That’s the problem with these semi-obscure games on dead systems, I suppose...*hugs her cute little DC*

“Possom spit!”

No, actually, I haven't played Skies of Arcadia yet. When the Dreamcast came out I couldn't justify spending the money on the system. However, that's no worry since Skies of Arcadia will being coming out for the GameCube pretty soon, and for that I could justify spending the money. Anyways, to answer your question, a little birdy (or slime in our case) told me that “you can get more radar if you go all the way back up”. I'm sure you know what this means more so than this humble tree.

This guy must be drunk

Hello, I have some deep thoughtful questions that I must get answered by the proper authorities.

1. The RPG Radical Dreamers is obviously a reference to Freud’s theories, especially the main storyline that somewhat ties in to Chrono Cross. What are your thoughts on this? <s>write a three-page essay on this subject and give it to me by tomorrow so I can get a good grade in my Psychology class.</s>

2. In Arfenhouse 3, how do I defeat the first boss, the Giant Can of Pringles? Housemaster keeps dying before he can do anything, and I can’t level up.

3. Have you ever noticed that in many RPGs, you have to go into random battles? I’ll bet they’re all copying this from FF7. THEY'RE ALL BEING UNORIGINAL!!!!11

4. HoW dO i g3t the StAr OCean GraPHix pacKS t0 work??/!!!!!1111ONE I AM A SMURF RETAARRD.

thank you very much. I think you are (fill in later)


1. “a three-page essay on this subject”

2. Get some Surge. That’ll make you hyper enough to go maneuver around attacks, and will pump endorphines in you to make you temporarily immune to damage.

3. ...     ...     ...     I'm not even going to go there. (Ay dios mío, este niño necesita más ayuda que pueda darle yo)

4. (a) Use good English. (b) Don’t use bad words. (c) Don’t use ROMs. (d) Buy the real game.

Ebert and guifa

Hey Guifa,

Are you a fan of movies? What are some of your all time favorite films?


I love movies. I’m not too much of a big fan of huge Hollywood blockbuster films (though there are exceptions, like The Matrix), but am really into foreign/independent.

Here’s a list of a few of my favorites:

  • Run Lola Run
  • The Princess and the Warrior
  • Amores Perros
  • Unico: Islands of Adventure
  • Phantom of the Opera (silent version)
  • Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
  • The Cell
You’ll note that I left out Star Wars. Yes, this is on purpose. I don’t like it. So sue me.


Hi, I was wondering what your opinion on Hentai games are?
I think that they are just like any other computer game, and they should be sold on the store shelves just like your MGS2’s and your Final Fantasies.

Factor 1 “No! These Games Have.... SEX!”

Find me someone who hasn’t seen any type of pornograpy by the time they have turned 18. I think any mature gamer should have the right to go to Wal-Mart or wherever and ask the clerk “Hey, You got that Gloria in stock?” instead of having to Order online and pay loads of extra surcharges. Right now I bet you might be saying “You can’t stop the 15 year olds who are reallly horny” That leads me to my next factor.

Factor 2 “But the Horny teenagers! They will do anything for them!”

True. You can’t stop a possesed teen, hell I couldn’t be stopped, but you still can place heavy restricitions on buying them. A few ideas I have:
    * Put them in their own little “section”
    * Hire clerks who actually might care if some underaged bought something they shouldn’t
    * Plain and Simple. CHECK ID!

Factor 3 “What is worse? Sex or Violence”

Sex is for two (or more....let’s not get into that) people to show their love for one another in a pleasurable fashion. While on the other hand Violence is just their to rip someones head off or shoot someone in the groin, what good comes from that?

Factor 4 “If you want your damn porno go to ‘Adults r Us!’ ”

A common misconseption people have about Hentai games are that they are just filled with mindless sex and nothing else. That is very, very wrong. A lot of times in the newer games, Divi-Dead for example might only have a couple scenes in the whole game! The rest simply put is just story, which blends all games together.

Well that’s enough for now, have a nice day everyone.

-Ryan S.

Okay. My stance. Hentai is fine for those that like it, but I’m really not all that interested in it. If people buy it, great for capitalism ;-)

You’re points are very valid though. However, you seem to forget the power of the internet. I know a lot of people at my school that look at pornos on the internet and such. At the same time, that’s not for me, it doesn’t interest me at all. My point is that people can get hentai games just as easily as they can get other porno/hentai on the internet, so checking IDs isn't that much of a deterant.

Sex and violence to me depend on situations. I have no problems with a married couple having sex with each other. What I don’t like is when lots of people get this “I don’t care who I’m having sex with” attitude. Nudity you say? If it’s artistically tasteful, I don’t mind it. Violence, on the other hand, it really depends. It really boils down to why the violence was needed. If it’s some guy going around shooting people for no damned reason, and that’s the ENTIRE point of the movie, no, I don’t like violence in what I watch.


I don’t understand the new sequels to Xenogears, there all by episodes now, whats up with that? are they movies?


There are 6 games in the Xeno series. Xenogears was labeled Episode V if you watched the credits closely. The episodes are simply different parts of the series, and Xenosaga happens to be Episode I. Hence, these aren’t all sequels to Xenogears, rather, only one is sequel. Episode V (Xenogears) is going to be remade as well. Xenogears has no movies made, but I have a feeling if they made a movie version it would be 30 hours long, skip half the plot, and profit, unlike FF:TSW.

Xenogears...twice? That’s like 120+ hours!

Hello Guifa,

I was wondering if you have played Xenogears twice, or even once. I am wondering this because I am currently playing Xenogears for the second time. This is a very fulfilling experience for me, and I’ll tell you why. The first time I played the game, after just about every new bit of information was revealed, it would be followed by me saying “What the ****?!?!” Anyone that has played knows what I’m talking about. For instance, about one hour into the game, Citan silently refers to Fei as “the son of man”. I mean, for an average, or even expert gamer, that has to make you say “What? Who the hell is the son of man? Is Fei the son of man? What the ****?” But now, as I play the second time, I get to say “Holy ****! Now I get it!” and it is pretty damn cool, since it all makes sense - if you played the whole game the first time, that is. So for anyone that has already played Xenogears, I strongly suggest playing it again, maybe with a friend this time, so when they’re the ones saying “What the ****?”, you get to say, “Man, I know exactly what they’re talking about”, thus portraying you as intelligent and “in the know”, while you friend is, well he’s just a loser that hasn’t played Xenogears yet. And if you haven’t played Xenogears yet, by all means do so, and then play it again. Thanks.


Take a look at some of the movies I mentioned in a previous letter. Almost every single one of them is like this. This, then, is what I truely hold to be the goal of any piece of art, be it a game, painting, CG, movie, novel, poem, etc. It’s fine it’s good the first time, but when you get even more the second, third, fourth (I’ve seen Princess and the Warrior at least 30-some times and I still catch new stuff), that’s the sign of greatness.

I’ve played through Xenogears once, and looking back on it I can see it would have this same quality. Unfortunatly, I haven’t yet had the time to do this. Honestly, school gets in the way, ¿conoce esto Vd.? If I had some time to just get away, Xenogears would be one of the upper 5 games I’d want to replay again. If you watch lots of independent films though, the whole “What the ****?” feeling goes away after a while because it’s just expected until you watch it again ;-)


If only you unfortunate souls could live in Hawaii!  Women (and for those of you who swing that way, men), sun, surf, and the world's largest population of BEMANI freaks :Þ!  Anyways, on to the questions!

1:  Is Lost Kingdoms worth buying?  I heard at longest it takes 6 hours to complete...  >:D  OUTRAGEOUS!!  Can it be true??  What's with these s****y RPGs coming out lately?  WHY GOD WHY?!?  ::falls to ground crying::

2:  ::gets back up::  *sniff*...  So, have you played Ragnarok Online yet?  If yes, what are your opinions; if no, WHY NOT?  Have you seen the pictures of RO at E3?!?  IT LOOKS LIKE A MEDIEVAL PLAYBOY MANSION!  Woe is my level 5 novice until BETA2 comes out.  And I don't mean to be offensive, but damn those players in Thailand to hell!!  If it weren't for them and their damned bots, I MIGHT have a chance to log on and take care of Nightengale.  ::hurries to try to logon AGAIN:: ... ::slams face into keyboard:: ...  DAMN!!  I can't logon!  ONWARD HO!

3:  And for the non-RPG topic: are you a Konami BEMANI fan??  Virtually everyone here in HI is ^_^...  gotta love Beatmania IIDX 7th Mix.  I still can't pass LIGHT7 mode ::screams::.  Then there's DDRMAX2, mmm mmm, you gotta love THE WHISTLE SONG.  Can you tell me what the song is referencing to, or is it too risqué to put online?  I can tell you it starts with an F ^_^;;.

Well, it seems I need to get off this island and back to civilization!  ::runs to HNL and buys a plane ticket to OHIO:: (don't ask...).  Mahalo bra and check yas later!


Ahm frum Aluhbamuh, ah laik fraid chikin.

1. Definetly worth a rent. Those that I know who have bought it are attempting to sell it now that they’ve beaten it, if that says anything. But it is a good game, while it lasts, from what I hear.

2. I have not yet played Ragnarok Online (and isn’t it supposed to be spelt Ragnarøk? I think Chimerasame mentioned this in a previous column). I’m running Mac OS X, and Ragnarok Online has not been ported to it. Generally I’m a console gamer; Blizzard games are about the only ones I play on this computer here. For everything else in that question/comment: calma, tranquilo. You’ll be okay. Deep breaths now.

3. It would be really nice if there was a DDR machine in Auburn here, but alas, our area’s 100 000 people don’t justify the only arcade in said area to get the game. Whenever I visit towns that have it though, I do play it (and I programmed it [to the beats even] on my TI-83 Silver for when I get really bored in IB Math HL) and I’m decent enough. I can pass all the trick songs, but I’m not too hot on maniac. Whistle Song? There is a term known as the “skin flute” ... it may be referencing to that, but not having heard the song I wouldn't know.

You? Not in civilization? Estoy más lejos de civilización que Vd. Vivo en ALABAMA.

Yes! We like doing work all the time!

if it doesn’t take you to much time could i get a list of rpgs for the playstation that are available now and available in english. rpgs are all i really play but you can only enjoy the story, graphics, etc. for so long before you need a new game. if you do send a list exclude anything from atlus because there has only been one game that i like of theirs and that was kartia. I hated hoshigama and ?brigand?

*steps onto soap box*

Okay, not to pick on you, or anyone really, but things like this can be really irritating. Me molestan. This information is available on RPGamer’s site by clicking on “Games” and from there clicking on any recent game in the “Series” category, or looking under “Playstation” for both “Upcoming” and “Other.” We work really hard to get you all this information, but honestly, we’re not being paid, we volunteer because we like it. Things like this really aren’t fun for us to do, and would add so much to our work load we couldn’t bring you all the updates we bring you as it is now. And for those thinking this request isn’t that big, trust me, we’ve got some really wacked out requests from people. Remember, we’re not IGN, we don’t make you pay to get decent information. Cut us some slack.

*steps off of soap box*

Sorry about that. Just please everyone, remember, people at RPGamer work in their own spare time, maybe a precious few hours a week for some, we can’t do anything and everything, although we may try it at times.




Porque soy el chico más guapo del mundo, y tú, pues, eres feo.

I’m curious. I’ve read that an additional story has been added to the ending of FFX. Is this true and if so, when does it come out?


Yes, this was announced on RPGamer’s news. Pero nadia sabe cuando se pueda comprarlos. (eg. we don’t know)

Now I’m off to the Alabama Governor’s School for the Arts and Technology for a summer schooling of nothing but art for two weeks straight. This is going to be so much better than real school.

Matthew “Let Me Fall” Stuckwisch

Eta maitasunez lortu dugula

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