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Googleshng - September 14 '04- 4:00 Eastern Standard Time

It baffles me why the best games and movies are always released in fall. The target audience for this stuff tends to be highschool and college age kids, who have their summers off without any obligations, and then when they head back to school, bam, everything comes out.

On a related note, what's with movie previews quoting directors instead of critics these days? I mean, granted, I do care a whole lot more about what George Romero thinks of Shaun of the Dead than say, Roger Ebert, but it's still an odd thing to do.

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CR/Turtle Clarification

in a nutshell, it was 4am, i had a C:R question, and my groggyness made me forget to rename the email title.. i was going to ask a question pertaining to "your thoughts on any GOOD free mmorpgs out there?" but decided against it and asked the turtle question instead.. SO.. "stupid me". now if you get this kind of thing a lot, misnamed emails or whatever, then i can understand your frustration. all i can say is "sorry"

I do indeed get a great deal of letters with misleading subject lines. Yours just happened to be the one that set me off a'ranting. Sorry about that.

Anyway though, on the subject of free online RPGs, I myself am not really a fan, but the general consensus seems to be "Graphics BAD! Text GOOD!" With that in mind, I believe most MUD clients tend to come pre-loaded with a list of some of the biggest and most popular games out there. Past that, about all I can say on the subject is that I hear the name Retromud bandied about in a favorable fashion every so often when free online RPGs come up.

Never fails.

Who is the Fusionist in Phantom Brave? What is his or her sex? And what, exactly, is a "Fusionist"?

-Jackson Ferrell

One of these days, I think I'll try to see if I can fill a whole column just by giving examples of things and having people echo them back to me. In any case though...

In Phantom Brave, you essentially have your own little town, composed of all the characters and items you've aquired. If you want to buy stuff, make sure you have a merchant in your party. The higher her level, the better her selection. That sort of thing. In any case, one of the classes with an out of battle function is the fusionist. When you talk to her, you get to take 1 character or item, and cannibalize it to give skills, stat bonuses,and so forth to another character or item. So if for some reason you want to switch from using a sword to a fish as your main weapon, but want to keep all your fancy sword attacks, you'd talk to your fusionist and have her fuse the sword into the fish.

As for why you'd rather fight with a fish than a sword, because you can!

Multiparter of Doom

The entirety of this letter is, by itself, longer than what I generally include in a column, so I'm going to print a decent chunk of it here, and save the rest for later.

Dear Googleshng,

I know my comments on the various things over the past week or two are very late just I'm lazy and actually wanted a question to ask that might be answerable

First off my comments on the stuff:

On the subject of SO2 sucking, I personally liked the game though certain things like 1.) the fact items are created at random instead of you choose an item to try and make and character 1 tries to make it 2.) the fact that you can't see the romance values between characters 3.) the fact that unlike other games with multiple endings there was no new game plus feature 4.) the fact you have to shell out 20 bucks to find out how to get two characters who are basically useless, I guess I really liked it cause it was the first real rpg i ever owned

I could have sworn that it did have plus games, but I couldn't agree with you more on that 4th point. If you want to make some optional thing hard to find, I'm all for it, provided you provide me with some hint as to where and when I should be looking for it. If you go out of your way to hide things in your games that nobody would ever discover on their own just to sell strategy guides, I have a huge problem with that.

On the subject of has a commercial ever made you buy a videogame: Yes it has the commercial for star ocean the second story made me buy it

I haven't ever done so no, although the TV spots for RE2 seriously piqued my interest in the series way back when.

On the subject of LOD sucking: Yes it sucked really bad I only bought it outta preasure from my irc buddy `Boomerang or something like that and my real life friend who I'll call Genwaku, they said it rocked and the dragoon transformations were really "kewl" it was overcliche, the weapons didn't even change when you equiped something else, and it was a bit too ronin warriors humping a final fantasy game to me so I beat it once and have never touched it again

I think we've established what needs to be established here.

On the subject of the connectedness of FF7 and FF10: Yes in fact X-2 is meant to connect Spira with the world of FF7, and a friend of mine who I'll call Mienai cause I never refer to people by real names has pointed out the world map of FF7 and the globe thingy that shows up when you talk to Cid/Buddy in X/X-2's airship/lobster-scorpion-bike-thingy are remarkavly alike, also in the opening of FFX you see a girl who looks like everyone's "favorite" ninja Yuffie running arround, coincidence I think not, that and the spheregrid/materia thingies are too simular, then again maybe the people at SE ran out of creativity after the craptastically crappy movie

There's some interesting points in there, but I'd chalk the Yuffie lookalike to having a character designer whose idea of creativity is pretty much just to copy his last creation and add more belts.

Ok now onto the questions yes I'm very long winded:

Question 1: Why do you guys bleep stuff with SMURF? looks like you'd use KUPO seeing as it is the FF equivalent of smurf and you guys are a site about RPGs and smurfs aren't rpg related

It's an in-joke really, based on my observation that in context of yon series, smurf seems to be used as one would bleep out swears.

Question 2: As stated way the KUPO back up there what do you think the chances are that mainstream american music will make it into and RPG, would you be thrilled, disgusted, not caring or what?

I don't see it ever happening, and listening to most of what's on the radio these days, I'm glad.

Question 3: Do you know what a Bardiche is? I was playing Drakengard awhile back and I saw some of the weapon discriptions used the phrase Bardiche in them to descripe yon weapon leading me to wonder what a bardiche is or if Square Enix is making up names for weapon groups like they did with the Swallows in Chrono Cross

Neither of those was made up. A bardiche is a type of polearm, where you have a big long stick, and then a sharp hung of metal at the end. Meanwhile, a Swallow is a big long stick with a sharp hunk of metal at both ends.

The Last Laugh:

Due to odd technical issues on his side of things, it seems I'm going to be doing some wacky schedule juggling with Andrew, placing the Q&A "weekend" on Wednesday through Friday.

Googleshng "Glaive"

So many polearms...

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