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Googleshng - August 11 '04- 4:00 Eastern Standard Time

I just saw Shadow of the Vampire earlier today. Odd movie that one. A fictitious behind the scenes look at the production a 1920s horror movie. Granted, we have the added gimmick of the vampire being played by an actual vampire to keep things interesting, but it's still a bizarre premise. This of course somehow managed to make me name this column after a bad old soap opera involving vampires, presumably traumatizing random 40-year olds reading this column. OK, now I'm just rambling.

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Working off vague descriptions is fun.

What was the name of that old Genesis RPG where it was first person most of the time, but then when you got into a fight it was like Zelda? Do you know what I'm talking about?

That sounds like Sword of Vermillion. A rather underwhelming game that switched styles pretty constantly. First person in dungeons, top view action/RPG during combat, and side scrolling for boss fights. I say give me Act Raiser any day.

Wasted on the young.


You know, video games starring children smurf me off. Especially if there's voice acting. I'm fine if the main character is a kid, but the vast majority of people are not kids, and he's reasonably mature, for instance as in Disgaea, or most Zelda games, or FFTA. That's fine, that gives kids playing the game something they can connect with while still leaving the game enjoyable for others.

But if many of the characters are school-age kids and their age is really made obvious, and your classmates follow you around to the seven wonders of the world before one gets turned into a fish and has to talk via morse code, or you have a ten-year-old Chosen One being protected by a twelve year old and a six year old, or you adventure through disney worlds to save your prepubescent girlfriend, I get annoyed that I have a perfectly fun game that is too embarrasing to play around other people. More RPGs should have adults as main characters. If the main character was an adult, you could have his wife and children get killed by the Empire instead of his parents. To me, that's a lot more interesting, if only because of the novelty.



There are quite a few RPGs out there focused rather heavily on young kids, and those that aren't focus more or less exclusively on characters between the ages of 16 and 22. This is also the case with an awful lot of books, movies, TV shows, and any other sort of escapist fiction you can name. The logic behind it is that if you make all your characters the same age as your target audience, it makes them more identifiable, but personally, I've never agreed with that. Even when I was 8 years old, I thought of this sort of trend as rather patronizing, and I've always identified just fine and dandy with the grizzled old coot who's always telling the punk kid not to be so reckless. Plus you could probably argue that this whole thing undermines the basic moral foundations of society by perpetuating the notion that nobody over the age of 30 is capable of doing anything important.

So yes, while it's one thing to make the main character roughly the same age as the people you expect to be playing the game, it brings up suspension of disbelief when you do it to the whole party. The MMBN series has a similar problem too. Granted, you don't really have a party, but you still have a kid saving the world between classes at school.

In any case, Koudelka seems like it'd probably be right up your alley plot wise, particularly James.


Do I win a tilde if I identify the current title page quote as having been spoken by Shining Force 2's Sarah? Or the quote in your signature as having been spoken by Shining Force 2's Lemon? (I just beat the game so the script is still rather fresh in my memory.)

-Matthew Liam Smith

A few people placed this week's title quote. ~ ~ ~

My signiture quote meanwhile was not, to my knowledge, at all related to Shining Force 2. So here, have an Ampersand of Mental Connections (+2) to go with your tilde: &

The Last Laugh:

Today I learned that the same person provided the voice of Gordon from Disgaea, and Ironhide from Transformers. That's some impressive range right there.

Googleshng "DeFENDer of Earth!"

Wow, I see the potential for an awful pun. Let's not go there.

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