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   Did anyone not see this coming?  

Googleshng - June 24 '04- 4:00 Eastern Standard Time

If there's one thing I seem to share with a disturbing number of people out there, it's a love of running gags. I don't believe there's every been a time I've made hypothetical mention of a question when I haven't had a few people send it in the next day. Today, we take this notion to new heights it seems.

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A one...

What was that PS2 RPG where you had some sort of evil shadow as a partner?

Googleshng:
Well, after a truly unprecidented number of names came down the pipeline, (Devil and I, The Devil and I, Beezlebub and I, Beezlebub and I's Excellent Adventure), it was eventually released in this country as Okage: Shadow King. Come to think of it, I still need to hunt down a used copy of that some day. Looked neat.

 
...and a two...

Do you think MMBN4 will be worth getting?

Googleshng:
I think MMBN4 will most definitely be worth getting, for those people who have yet to play the first three... OK, I suppose if you've only played 1 that also makes it worth it. The point still stands though that we're pretty much just getting the last game again, with one tiny little tweak thrown in. Now granted, the initial game was darn good, and yon new tweak of the day is pretty spiffy, but it's hard to rationalize buying the same game on an annual basis.

 
...and a three!

Chrono Cross spoilers, natch.

Man, goog, what's with people asking you things that you have no reason to answer, like help in games. Man, I just had to retype "help" so may times. I kept saying holp, melp, hilp, and things like that. Anyway, what was with the good ending in Chrono Cross? I mean, it blew, didn't it? And I was so confused. And the whole "Kid is Schala" thing was underdeveloped, too. She should've had more mystical things if that was the case (Also, Schala was a Blue-nette, not a blonde. Shame, square...) And that letter you get that says that "Janus is probably there?" I mean, huh? Square would have been better off continuing that little side story in my own fantasy sequel, featuring a hero from an alternate future, kinda like Robo's time, only later on, where people have left the domes, and make new technology from the crap lying around. Anywho, this little fantasy of mine would have both time travel, and alternate timelines. Three times, three timelines, for a total of nine world locations. Maybe one or two special locations, like the End of Time (Bend of time sucked donkeys in comparison.) And the main time location would be around the time when the Lavos Spawn would be growing up, and about to leave for other planets, ripping Earth to shreds in an explosive scene that looks very impressive if you should challenge the boss of the game and lose. Also, many, MANY multiple endings. And while I'm at it, throw in an alternate version of the hero, maybe two alternate versions, one of which may either join you as a badass punk, or just plain be a good old fashioned villian.. Incite crazy reprecussions by killing him (you) at one point in the game, then have to go back and fight yourself to keep you from killing him. But really, despite the enjoyment I had with it, Chrono Cross should've been more. But the commercials for it still rocked.

Googleshng:
Huzzah! Someone finally did more than repeat exactly what I said! Anyway though, yon alternately invisioned ending of yours would indeed be better than the "good" ending. For that matter, just cutting to the credits would have been better. As is, Chrono Cross takes the irksome trend of ending a game with a sermon about whatever crazy psychobabble is on the creator's mind to a whole new level. It's one thing if you feel the need to give players a speech about how they have the power to change the world and so forth. It's quite another when you ramble on with 5 solid pages of text about planets being universe eggs.

Anyway though, there's two things to be learned from yon ending. The first of course is that if you end an RPG with a massive quantity of crazy-talk, people are not going to be pleased. The second is of course, what happened to Schala. She became two people, one of which went on to become a pirate, the other of which went on to take an awful awful lot of drugs.

I think there's something to be said for not answering these sorts of questions.




The Last Laugh:

Well, there you have it. A solid column of the obvious joke. Again though, I'm more than a little disturbed at how everyone who sent in a letter today ran with the same gag. So many double-letters...

Anyway though, enjoy your weekend.



Googleshng "Googleshng, you spent all day working on an RPG rulebook! What are you going to do now?" @rpgamer.com

I'm going to sleep!

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