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Googleshng - November 18 '03- 2:00 Eastern Standard Time

Hmm... due to some odd technical difficulties, I'm lacking an intro and closing from Surlaw. Plenty of letters though!

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Silly letters, but plenty of them.

Ninjas attack, destroy everybody. I don't think that 100 zombies can stand up to one well trained ninja. Scary thought, zombie ninjas! Surlaw, you are not correct. Mwahaha!

This comes as a result of me recently raising the question of whether a ninja could take on an army of zombies. Honestly, it depends on what type of zombies we're talking about. If they were the super fast not-quite-zombies of 28 Days Later, it would be an interesting fight. If they were the bumbling oafs seen in such films as Night of the Living Dead, it would be a fairly boring kill fest with a perfect victory by the ninja.

If I can beat Slash Mode in Bushido blade, a ninja should be able to deal with 100 zombies. Granted, they're harder to kill and don't attack one at a time, but still.

We seem to have a theme here...

A couple of questions, actually.

1. If a ninja, pirate, viking, samurai, zombie, and mongol all had a free for all, at dusk, on a field (completely level), who would win?

The Ninja has a sword, some poison, and enough shurikens to kill everyone, if he hits.

The Pirate has a cutlass, a parrot, an eyepatch and two flintlocks with enough powder and shot to kill everyone there, if he hits.

The Viking has an axe, shield, chainmail, a horned helmet, and some berserker mushrooms.

The Samurai has full battle plate, a katana, a bow, and enough arrows to kill everyone there, if he hits.

The Zombie has the bite.

The Mongol has a set of Mongol armor (you know what I mean, right?), a nasty curved sword, a spiked helmet, and a horse.

If I learned nothing else from Disgaea, it's that a well trained ninja can stand up to anything, as long as he's not totally outnumbered. I want the zombie to infect the pirate, creating a pseudo-Cervantes, and the Viking to team up with the Mongol. Then we'll have an interesting fight.

Well the pirate would most likely drop two people before things really got rolling, and the bulk of these cultures would have no knowledge of zombies, so it'd probably get a few free bites in after someone knocked it over. So really there's too many random factors here to pick a clear winner, but how do you score it if the original zombie dies but someone he bit wins?

Starting distance is a biggie too.

2. Is Hitlerfest '45 an acceptable alternative name for the Holocaust?

The only way this would be acceptable would be if it were worked into a mildly funny flash movie accompanied by a Japanese song infested with engrish. Or something along those lines.

Well the holocaust, while it happened during his reign, was not in and of itself a specific celebration of Hitler, so nope. Not appropriate.

3. A hypothetical situation:

If a certain person, who after repeated warnings NOT TO, opened a portal to a horrible nether dimension in another person's basement, and the horrible nether dimension was slowly taking over the house, and performing such feats as killing any other tenants and using their corpses as horrible vessels for some greater evil and changing walls into living tunnels of flesh and so on, would it be acceptable to harm this certain person until dead?

By the way, if you need to contact me, I've barricaded myself in my room. I'll be huddled in the corner, waiting until the barricade I've made is broken and I am taken too. THANKS A LOT MATT.

Kill it with fire, my friend.

Usually when that happens the person responsable is killed by the house in some grizzley fashion and/or becomes its zombie spokesperson. Either way I wouldn't worry about him, and just concentrate on slowly falling in love with the mousy girl and closing the portal.

Oh hey, an actual RPG type question.


I'm in a bit of a predicament. I'm the humor/comic-relief person in my little circle of friends, and myself and the more serious member of said group got into an argument about Final Fantasy X-2. He said it was complete scat and he wasn't going to buy it if someone paid him 6 Million and a copy of Xenosaga II, and I said that it was good that they were deviating from the normal, serious, save-the-world fare and that if he wanted serious he could go sign up for FF 11.

Now, I want an outside opinion - is FFX-2 absolute crap in your opinion? Or is it more of a welcome break? Or do you think that my friend and I are such idiots for arguing about something into which opinion figures so greatly?

Until I've spent a decent amount of time with a game, I neither praise it nor condemn it. I will be renting FFX-2, since it looks like a cute little diversion and I tend to enjoy RPGs with "job systems." I don't really think it will be a "welcome break" from more serious games for me, since I haven't played anything serious in a while.

You'll probably get a much more useful answer if you ask me again Friday night. For now all I have to say is that personally, I'm hoping that the conceptual goodness of the mechanics will trump the fact that I'm guarenteed to have at least 2 people on my party the whole game I won't like.

I wouldn't expect much world saving needed in FF11 though, you don't generally get that with MMORPGs. Don't know about serioues either, as I know too many people playing hyper midgets.

Great Pontification

Hey Google,

From yesterday:

"Also, how many months do you suppose FFX - 2 will be greatest hits?"

I would assume that you mean "how many months until FFX-2 becomes greatest hits". The answer I believe it at least 10. To become a GH title, a game has to sell 500,000 copies in the first 10 months of it's release. It also has to be out for the full 10 months before it can become GH.

As for why people buy games that they hate, the answer is simple. These people don't really hate the FF series, they just like to complain. The fact is that all these people whine and complain about how nothing is as good as FF whatever, but they still go out and buy every single one. Personally, when FFVI came out, I saw all the technology and was sure I wouldn't like it, but I did. Then FFVII came out and I thought the same thing. I liked it once again. When FFX came out I didn't think I would like that there was no world map, but I still loved it. So the moral is that even on those occasions where a Finally Fantasy is not as good as some of the others, it is still usually better than most of the crap out there, and when they get it right, the Final Fantasy series can be brilliant. People like to complain, and it is cool to complain about Square, but let's face it, Square drives the RPG industry. I look at FFX-2 and I think that the ideas are odd and I am not sure I will like it, but I know that once I sit down to play it, I will be surprised again, just like with all the others.

My theory on why people buy FF games even though they claim to hate them is so that they can be "el33t" when the next generation of systems comes out. Some do this consciously, some do it unconsciously. Every angry nerd on the internet complained about FF7 until 10 came out, and now you hear mostly praise, while the current fun time trend is bashing FF10. Once an FF game comes out on a system in the generation after this one, these same nerds will rise up to bash it while singing the praises of FF10. This has nothing to do with whether these games are actually good or not. If anyone wishes to argue against this, you are in denial of what you are, you angry, lovable dopes.

I've never noticed a pronounced bashing of FF7 on the internet, and definitely haven't seen any dropoff in such sentiments post-FF10, nor do I believe anyone out there who unilaterally hates the FF series buys the games. The only people confusing me are the sort who say things like "I can't stand MMORPGs and there's no way they can ever be fun but I have to buy FF11 anyway because I own all the others!"

It's just plain pathetic to be spending that much money to maintain status in a sub-culture which I'm pretty sure doesn't exist first off. I have never known anyone who was ostracized for not owning every Final Fantasy.

More importantly though, it really bugs me to see people with extra gaming cash to throw around buying a game they don't expect to like based solely on the title when they could be buying a game they'd absolutely adore from a more obscure company that really needs the sales money to fund their next game. Something to be said for broadening your horizons too.

I am curious, what is your take on FFX-2? Are you looking forward to it? Are you dreading it?

I'm going to rent it at some point in the near future. The fact that it comes out the same day as the GC Mario Kart will delay that decision, though.

I'll have to go with aprehensive optimism here.



Surlaw:I think this is a reference to Blood Omen / Legacy of Kain, a series of games which had a fascinating narrative, but gameplay that made me want to die.
Google:Seriously, what's up with people tonight?

The Last Laugh:

Google: Again, Surlaw's closing is lost to the mists of e-mail error. I can say he's still looking for Rhapsody or Guilty Gear XX though, so feel free to offer'em up if you have interest in guest hosting and getting a game out of the deal.

Googleshng "Hello Mr. Sun!"

Oh yeah. If I ever have the money I need to check out Boktai.

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