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Googleshng - June 26 '03- 2:00 Eastern Standard Time

Today I had a piece of spam with the subject line "be Whät young stüds have and we dön't!" It was great. It's like heavy metal bands from the 80s are trying to sell me garbage.

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Must... resist... urge... to fight... puns... with... puns!

Hey Goog,

Since you seem to be short on questions lately, here's one that's been on my mind lately...has there ever been any general consensus on who that voice in Cloud's head in FF7 is? I would gather from the fact that you destroy Sephiroth in that dream sequence thingy at the end it might be him, but there's also stuff in the game that suggests that it's Cloud talking to himself in his sleep trying to push him towards the truth. I don't remember it ever being explicitly explained in the game itself (among other things not really being explained in the game), so I was hoping you could take a STAB at it, to take your SLICE of the pie, and be a CUT above the rest, because I know you won't MISS.

Robust Stu

This is an easy one really. Cloud suffers from an accute case of schitzophrenia, which contrary to popular belief is not multiple personalality disorder, but rather having voices in your head that tell you to do things. You know, like Son of Sam. The rest of the party seriously needs to check him in with a shrink ASAP.

Scrambled AGWS

Hey Goog,

I've working my way slowly through Xenosaga between bouts of sleeping... and working. It has been slow going, haven't even entered Proto Merkabah. Though I did just pick up the AG-05 AGWS... but AGWS are useless anyway. I wish they were more useful, but they are just too slow and too much of a pain to use in battles. Makes me kind of wonder why I spent a few hours working on the poker game to save up the insane amount required to buy the AG-05. Well, I guess the real reason was because it was shiny looking! :) kidding... Do you think Monolith Soft will make AGWS/Gears more useful in the next episode... or perhaps more useless?

This is kind of not RPG... but did you play Way of the Samurai? My curiousity has been piqued, simply because of the massive amount of swords and techniques. Might be worth a rent.

Speaking of renting! Blockbuster sucks... royally. I rented one of the Clany games a few weeks ago, and returned it on time. The jackasses there seem to have lost the game before checking it in. Makes me very angry, and also hestitant to even go there anymore. I mean, how in the world do you lose a game that was put into the drop box. Its a conspiracy I bet!! ... again kidding.

Anyway, I hope this email improves the lot you get today. Maybe you'll be able to put up some Farscape quotes to this one and everything! :) Take care.


I have no familiarity with Way of the Samurai, so let's just move on to the Xenoquery.

First off, it's a safe bet that the effectiveness of mecha was cranked way down from Xenogears in response to people hating how you never got to fight on foot the second half of the game. That said though, hopping into an AGWS isn't exactly useless. Sure, you're most likely not going to do as much damage, and you sacrifice a turn, but you get a serious boost to your HP, and you can convert otherwise useless characters (like Shion after summoning Voltron, or MOMO after stealing stuff) into solid fighters.

That said, I completely forgot they even existed save for two fights in the whole game.

This is kinda like asking for a console based RTS with good multiplayer support.

Sup google

As a huge fan of the Zelda type RPG/Adventure game being a console gamer for most of my life , i am starting to play some more and more games on my PC but for the life of me can't get into this keyboard/mouse setup

My question , is there any zelda sytle RPG's that have a great story and console like controls were i can use a gamepad ??

thanks for the time


Most PC games have reconfigurable controls, so the controller shouldn't be much of an issue. The catch of course is the distinct lack of Zelda style gameplay on PCs. I can think of like 30 obscure shareware games that might be up your alley but can't give any specific names since, well, I don't retain the names of 15 year old shareware as a general rule. Just so I don't leave you emptyhanded though, if you're ever in a retro kinda mood there's a pretty spiffy Zelda clone for the Genesis called Beyond Oasis which is largely unheard of.

Three Unrelated Questions

Dear Google,

A couple things,

1.) See if you can get Dork Queen to do comics for your columns too.

If she threw'em at me I'd print them, but I wouldn't want to actively contribute to early burnout with that sort of thing.

2.) Don't you love the ambition of people? They just want to prove everybody wrong on the whole hatmaking thing that they send a plethora of letters just about hats when in reality, they are the only ones that really care. People like that show me how much of a life I really have.

Actually a lot of people cared, and I don't see how that'd fall under the definition of ambition. The most bizarre aspect of that though is how many people out there have access to this sort of knowledge. I mean, I have only ever come across three people in my life who ever wear hats, so you'd figure this would be a rarer topic of interest. Or maybe I've just led a strange life sheltered from the booming hat culture.

3.) I began playing Shadow Hearts a few months ago but stopped when I bought FF Origins. Now I find out that there is a prequel, Koudelka. I want it really bad and have been searching through E-Bay for a new cheap copy. Is it really a good game? I like the whole idea of pre WWI and the fact that is set on Earth. Not to mention it is of a horror genre. I think Shadow Hearts is a game so far. Is Koudelka just as good?

Dragonmaster Tron

That's a tough one really. I consider both Koudelka and Shadowhearts to be great games, but aside from a shared story and visual style they have practically nothing in common. Koudelka takes place entirely within a big weird mansion/monastary/prison (giving it a little Resident Evil flavor), and features pseudo-tactical combat with three fully customizable characters. It also has some shockingly good voice acting (for the time at least) in every single plot scene, which is what I missed most when playing Shadow Hearts. So if that sounds like your cup of tea, (and you don't mind it being only ten hours long), it's worth tracking down a copy.

And on a weird little side note, I personally tend to reserve the term prequel for things that take place before the original but are created after. Saves confusion.

Final Fantasy Fun

I recently downloaded the Final Fantasy X: other story. As you may know it was the International game. But I came across some interesting screenshots. Like how the characters exceeded the HP limit having well over 30,000 HP. And I also saw the gang fighting the dark aeons, which seemed to be summoned by the Guados. My question is what is it? I thought international to be nothing more than the US version of the game only with the added scene forshadowing a sequel. That's what I've heard anyways.

Actually the big selling point of the international version was the inclusion of an alternate sphere grid which I'm told actually presents you with some choice in how your characters progress, but yeah, it's just that and the ending.

Anyway, everything else you mentioned is in the copy of the game you have, you just missed and/or forgot about it is all.


Some of my friends have told me that you now have to pay an addition fee to even use the Network adapter. Is this true...I sure hope not.

ll BlueMonday ll

This is the sort of question I could answer for you if you gave me some sort of hint as to WHAT network addapter you were refering to.

yesterday you mentioned I was only able to play FF:CC with my three friends. What if I don't have just three friends? What if I have more or less? What if I only have 3 friends but not all of them like FF:CC enough to play it?


Well you'd still need a GBA per friend whether they were playing willingly or not, and you could get by with less than 3, but if you have 8 friends who all want to play, there's going to be trouble.

is chaos legion and u go around and talk to people or is it the same thing as devil may cry.because it doesnt look like an rpg but just a simple action/adventure game

If I make a new section for letters like this and call it "The XYY Files" do you think enough people would get the joke to be offended by it?

Seriously. I can live with countless typos, questions that can be answered by clicking one link on the main page, and even questions I just answered the day before, but if you can't approach some reasonable semblence of grammar I'm going to go off on a tangent like this instead of trying to work out what you mean.

Guten Tag,

I could look this up but I'm too lazy. What are the requirements for the 'secret' ending to Kingdom Hearts?


"Tching tching!"

Well at least you admit it. The short answer is that you have to do every little optional thing in the game. Find every keyhole, all 99 puppies, do the whole Winnie the Pooh bit, so uh, if you're as lazy as you claim it probably isn't happening.

I've noticed that everyone says that Laguna is Squall's father in FFVIII. I've played FFVIII, but I haven't noticed that mentioned anywhere in the game. Did I just not pay close enough attention??



That was one of the easier question answering jobs I've had.

The Last Laugh:

Hey, I already used both jokes I was planning on sticking down here. Oops.

Googleshng "No, it has nothing to do with hermaphrodites."

People forget all sorts of useful info taught in highschools. How bronze is made for example.

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