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Googleshng - April 2 '03- 2:00 Eastern Standard Time

So Andrew says to me "Hey, for an April Fools' joke how about we say you died or something and that Thor will take over for you, and then actually GET Thor to guest host?" Once I do the math and realize I'll miss out on writing columns, I don't like the idea. Then it strikes me that I just got Wind Waker, so I'd have something to pass the time with. Excellent excellent game.

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This isn't the straw that breaks the camel's back, but it's close to the top of the pile.

What's the deal?

Does anybody besides me think that the best RPG of all time and still the best RPG to play today is Chrono Trigger? That game is unbelievable.

I think that a good RPG must have the following characteristics: a good (very good) story, fine gameplay, an entertaining fight mode, memorable characters, great music, a good beginning and ending, good replay value, and so on ... (there may be more). Chrono Trigger has these all.

Usually every RPG has some kind of flaw that drives me virtually insane, but since I'm an avid fan I attempt to ignore it so it deters me from not enjoying it too much. Here's a simple list:
1. FF IV: incredibly too hard
2. FF VI: lost it's story at the end
(although this is an incredibly good game with the absolute best ending of any game to date)
3. FF VII: too many weak characters
4. FF VIII: magic was useless and therefore wizard-like char. also were useless
5. FF IX: no climax to the game's story, at least I couldn't find one
6. FF X: people dislike this game but it's good, except for the lack of a world battle field
7. FF I-III&V: never played...

I also haven't played many new RPG's like Kingdom Hearts (I want to). And I don't play internet RPGs (or consider them to be true RPG's, what are they...MMORPG's or something) since they usually lack a story. If you can recommend any games that are new and good, I would like that.

But, really, Chrono Trigger is the bomb, the best game ever made, and nearly flawless. The only flaw I can think of is is it kind of hard to find a good place to build experience points, but the nature of the game doesn't compell you need really high levels like most Final Fantasy's. Think about it many irritating flaws or "dumb" parts exist in that game.

I think if you compare that game to any other, it wins. Unless you can convince me otherwise.

Slowing but surely going insane,

P.S. - I am not high or drunk. I'm simply a video game nerd with no life.

Chrono Trigger is a pretty darn good game, but I wouldn't consider it the best RPG ever. By the way, here's a fun fact you don't seem to have realized. In addition to Chrono Trigger, there's a good 500 or so OTHER RPGs out there in the world which aren't part of the Final Fantasy series.

Poémon Sequels

I feel really, really stupid having to ask this, but please understand, I've been completely out of the poke-loop since I finished Red/Blue. I know Ruby and Saphire contain a jillion and one new pokemon, but does it have the original 150? No information I can find touches on this subject (I guess they assume fans would already know) but I think it will be the deciding factor on whether I buy the game or not. Thanks (and please don't laught at me!)

A recap of the games and the Pokémon available for you:
Red/Blue: The original 151 between them (well, except Mew, but you know).
Gold/Silver: 100 new Pokémon added to the mix, almost all the originals returning, and those that didn't you can trade in from Red/Blue, for a total of 251. Ruby/Saphire: I'm not sure of the exact numbers, but there's in the ballpark of 150 new Pokémon and a total of only about 50 returning from the old ones. So the total number of Pokémon out there is pushing 400, due to a lack of reverse compatability, there's less total available than in G/S.

That bugged me quite a bit until last night when it struck me that you can't link up a GB game and a GBA game for technical reasons. In anycase, G/S has more of everything, R/S has a better interface. Hope that helps you.

I know something you don't know. What's that? I am not right handed!

Hey there g,

I wanted to clear up some information given in one of this weekend's columns. Regarding Link's "-handedness", it's not true that the discrepancy began with Link to the Past. This discrepancy can be seen in the original Zelda as well as in The Adventure of Link. Perhaps by the time LttP came along, they just kept doing things that way for the sake of retro-ness. Strangely, however, the discrepancy does not seem to be in Link's Awakening.


Here's why Link switches hands when facing east in the 2D Zelda games. People who make games are lazy. It's a heck of a lot easier to take all the sprites for walking west, and flip them, than to draw new ones for walking east. When you've spent the last few months trying to draw little 16x16 pixel images with enough clarity to make everything out, you're going to start cutting corners like that.

What I really can't believe though is that this little debate started up on Friday when someone started griping about Wind Waker making Link right handed. Over the whole weekend, and it was extra long this week, not a single person pointed out that this person was completely insane and that Link still holds everything in his left hand. I thought you people loved harping on this stuff?

This is why I usually read all my mail before I start posting.

Hi Google,

I know it came up in Andrew's column, but no one else has mentioned this, so I guess I will. :)

Quote: "how come Link is left handed in all in previous Zelda games, but is now right handed in the Wind Waker? Is he ambidexious or something?"

Um...what? Link is left-handed in the Wind Waker.

You don't even have to take my word for it; just watch which hand he uses to fight, or check out RPGamer's own screenshots...

-Maru, also a lefty

This was the very next letter in my box. Am I the only one amused here? Anyway, nice to see the natural order of things restored.


You guys honestly didn't try very hard this year for April Fool's. Chrono Break shots (which are obviously photoshoped), some weird articles, and saying Thor's going to guest host for a while (been done before). Try harder next time. = P

Hey, I didn't do anything for April Fools' except be a good sport and play along with Andrew's joke. Incidentally though, that actually WAS Thor, so looks like at least ONE person was fooled. Actually, half the staff around here evidently thought I'd ACTUALLY dropped off the face of the earth too.

As far as the fake Chrono 3 stuff, I quite frankly wish that were a bit faker if anything. As is I'm STILL going to get people asking where that coverage went for the next year, just you watch.

Oh, and you don't like Onion style articles? I thought everyone did?

Confusion in the wrong direction.

You know, if you really wanted people to believe Chrono Break was indeed in production, you may want to have your editing/doctoring department take greater care in assimilating previously released characters (the one with Serge and Karsh was just baaaaaad and what's with the Everquest looking characters?) with strange backgrounds. Yet, I do wish Square-Enix would jump on the ball and start with Chrono Break. Do you think it will ever happen? Also, your Kingdom Hearts "update" is less farfetched, but I still believe that we have a while before Kingdom Hearts 2 comes. DemiKids? I don't know. With the Earthboundesque battle backgrounds and corny graphics, I think your editing staff had fun with this one.

Happy post April Fool's

As mentioned above, the Chrono stuff was intentionally fake looking because there's too many rumors flying around there as is. Everything else you mentioned is real stuff though. All the gag articles were done late Monday night. Tuesday night people got back to work.


Go replay SoA... and you shall smile, and be happy, for you are once again in paradise.

Tempting, but I have a rather full plate at the moment.



I am havng a great deal of trouble. I cannot sing. I am dreadful. I have a concert in two months and I need to get good and soon.
I am in dire need of help. What do you suggest Google?


I'd suggest uh, asking someone who has some sort of background in singing. I have to wonder how you ended up having to sing in a concert when you can't sing. How does THAT happen?

The Last Laugh:

Oh hey, it's Wednesday. That means I only get one more column this week. Wah.

In other news, two new rants are up to celebrate that four month server bug being fixed. Yay!

Googleshng "Like I'd ever really disappear."

I mean, everyone KNOWS Googleshing is just a pen name used by the pool of 12 staffers who do Q&A, right?

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