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   Return of the Lord and the Bird  
David Looney and Brian Rogovitz - March 24th '02- 6:00 Eastern Standard Time

LB: Sadly, I have returned for yet another one of these so called "Q&A" columns. They should be called LBIBTTRC columns, because LordBrian Is Better Than TRC. Enjoy the fun, kiddies, and remember: eating turkey is both fun and healthy!

TRC: IF healthy means losing some limbs and organs in the process then by all means go ahead. Tired. Blade II rocks. Let's do this.

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B&W Manga

Hey there TRC,

Do you know what usually happens to mortal enemies in manga?
They fall in love.

What're the chances of that happening to you?

And another question, have you seen Metropolis?

DMJ

Turkey
I thought that was only in the fanfic type of manga. Anyway I seriously doubt that because I hate him to the core of my being.

Yes I have seen Mertopolis, great movie. The fact there is no talking takes some getting used to...

Wait you mean the anime? Then no. I only watch anime when someone else I know gets it and says it is good. Saves me money, or downloading time.

My Enemy
You may have a point about mortal enemies in manga, but you fail to remember that giant fighting robots and hot girls as far as the eye can see are also common occurrences. So to answer your question, the chances are pretty damn slim.

I have seen both the anime and the Fritz Lang silent film, and I gotta tell you, both of them are pretty bad. The B&W movie might be a classic, but nobody ever said that classics had to be good. The fact that the anime is basically just a (heavily modified) remake means that the story is still pretty lame. Plus, the characters look funky in the anime.

 
Minigame Fun

Hey there,

Now, I'm all for a good mini-game once in a while on the conditions that said mini-game(s) are fun and optional. Now, take FFX for a moment, in order to get your ultimate weapons, each character had an incredibly frustrating mini-game to go through. I guess in the purest sense, these could be considered "optional" because you don't need the ultimate weapons, but c'mon, are you supposed to not get them or something? Now, do you wanna spend an hour dodging 200 lightning bolts, or get a time of 0'00'00 in some damned chocobo race? No way, screw that, that's not fun, that's frustrating. And not to recently, in the media section, everyone was making a big deal about what the Xenosaga mini-games were going to be... Anyway, my point is mini-games should be fun and optional, but instead lately they're becoming just a big of a focus as the gameplay. Maybe I'm too oldschool, I dunno, but there's my opinion. You two kids play nice now.
~Angelo/Cronojigga

Required TRC:
Ever get the level 9 orbs in Secret of Mana? Minigames have been a part of RPGs for a while ( the dinner party in FF6, hello) And most are optional. I mean seriously, you can easily beat FFX without anyone's ultimate weapons and without any of the other extra stuff you get from the minigames, that for me is good enough. Making the ultimate weapons hard to get was a little harsh yes, but atleast they earn the name ultimate weapon.

Optional LB:
I dunno, I guess they should start selling those "ultimate" weapons in every old weapons shop, so even those underprivileged citizens can protect their families, right? There's a reason those things are hard to get, much like there's a reason the government places restrictions on all but the most common of firearms: so only the most worthy and deadly people can get them. Note that aside from the one blitzball game in FFX, none of the sidequests or minigames have any effect on the story (and even that one game really doesn't effect the story, either). I disagree that the minigames have become the focus. And yes, minigames have been in Final Fantasy games from the beginning. Remember the airship number block thingy from FF1?

 
LoTR Remeberance

There WAS a Lord of the Rings RPG on Super Nintendo. I can't remember if it was just The Fellowship of the Ring (Now that cheesy line from the movie is stuck in my head) but you played as hobbits and it was up to 4 player simultaneous. It seemed like a great idea, and it holds your attention for about 10 minutes, but then the endless dungeons bored me and my friend into quitting.

I hope the new one is better done. Anyway, just thought you and some other readers might find that interesting!

~~TREIZE~~

Gandalf:
Yeah I knew of it, I just didn't remember if it was an rpg or just straight action. I played a whole ten mins of it a long time ago, so you can forgive me for not mentioning it. I remember reading in Nintendo Power O so long ago, it was intended to be a trilogy, but it did so bad, they just made the first one. That is why I fear for another LoTR games. Give me a P&P version damn it

Sauron:
I thought that game was common knowledge, so I didn't bring it up. And since we were talking about the new one anyway, it made little difference. And furthermore...

:: glances around to make sure nobody's watching, then drops TRC's pants and runs away, cackling with glee ::

 
More RPGamer Folks

Hey guys!

I've got a couple of questions and a shameless plug for you tonight. First things first, stuff for you to answer:

1) Are either of you looking forward to the GBA FFT port? I could see myself buying it if there was player vs. player action added to this version, but beating it on the GBA just to beat it again would be kinda pointless, ne?

2) Same question but for Lost Kingdoms/Rune on the Cube. Personally, I think it doesn't look half bad for the first RPG on our favorite semi-cubical console.

Lastly, I just need to plug 'Points of View' in hopes of luring new people into our clutches. Midterms and Spring Break have dried up my flow of postable material and not updating on time is starting to bug me :)

Thanks!
Zachary 'ASV' Lewis

Head of Guides:
1) as long as it is re-localized I should like it more. This would give square a chance to re-balance the game, and maybe add another class. IF they did that then I would get it. WEll being able to play it while on long trips seems to be everyone's impedes for buying the RPGs. So it would be worth it for that.

2) Don't own a cube right now, and don't look at the RPGs for it. I am not buying a cube for its rpgs. Plug Away my friend, plug away.

New Media Grunt Supreme:
1) I am most definitely looking forward to playing FFT on the GBA. And honestly, I couldn't care less if it's just a straight port. I will buy ports and enjoy them, to the great disbelief of a lot of people. To those people who only want new games and don't see the good in old ones, I say this: nyaah.
2) You say Rune doesn't look half bad for the first RPG for the Cube, and I say it doesn't look half like an RPG. Not every game that has cards and numbers is an RPG, despite what the developers try to tell you. And much like the other, Square-based Kingdom game, I have no desire to play this one either.

 
Undead Demon Action!

Hey there teearecee and the Lord.

Since music is my "job" around here, I should ask the standard musical questions, right?

1) Do you listen to game (any, just not RPG music) outside of when playing games? I know a lot of people (read: parents), who think it's pretty sad. If you do, do you have a favorite soundtrack or arranged CD?

2) What do you think of live game music performances?

3) Do you have a favorite composer and why?

I think that's it. Everyone, check by the music section some time, and take a listen to what of the excellent musicians have to offer!

Gotta go, here comes the snowplow.
Scar, the musically inclined graphics programmer

TRC:
1) Yeah I do sometimes, I really like the mega man music and Castlevania music. I have a remixed Dracula battle mp3 on my computer I love. I don't really buy the soundtracks or even download them, because I don't like them for the most part. I only like instrumental music occasionally, and I'd rather listen to something like Bach then game music.
2) If it is with instruments then cool, if by keyboard then eh. I hate techno shows for that very reason.
3) Nope, because I Don't know any. ~runs from Rico~
Z) RUN! Snowplows take off 1 full life!

LordBrian:
1) Parents also think all music not made before 1970 is pretty sad too, so what's your point? But actually, I don't listen to any "normal" music either, choosing to stick to game related tune-age. Why? Because it makes me feel superior to everyone who doesn't feel the way I do. They just don't "get" it.
2) I think it would be better if I actually got to attend such events, but being confined to such an intellectually inferior country renders this impossible. For now, though, I just dream of the day when I can finally snap the leash holding me back from being with my intellectual equals and listen to game music for as long as I want without being ridiculed by the masses. Damn you, troglodytic masses!
3) I like Mitsuda, and I like Uematsu, and (watch carefully how I beg for flames) I HATE SAKURABA.

 
No Squall...

Hey LordBri-guy.

Since I sent the Turk a Q yesterday..tossing a Q your way today, in the interest of fairness.

An interesting question was tossed up, and I'm sending it your way. Why do a good number of people dislike FFVIII so much? I personally enjoy it. Squall rocks :)

Jay

Seifer:
I don't hate it, it just didn't grab me for some reason. I was talking to one of my friends after beating FFX and we decided out of all the other FFs 8 would benefit best from voice acting. Mainly since it would let you get to know squall better instead of just... whatever. That and I'm sorry, he dissed Quistis. What kind of person resists her?

Squall:
Hey, hey, hey! No responding to my letter! Anyhoo, people don't like FF8 because it requires too much thinking on their part. Puzzling out the horribly complicated story, compounded with the bizarrely complex draw and junction systems, and finally topping it all off with the unfathomably intricate Triple Triad card game...well, it's no wonder people hate it -- it's too hard! They also don't like Squall because, unlike most RPG lead characters, he's somewhat realistic. Think about your life and tell me you don't know anyone who isn't dark and cynical and just doesn't care, like Squall. Maybe you should start with yourself.

 
Letter After LB went to sleep 1

I find myself once more questioning a certain RPG problem... in Persona 2, is there an easier way to move the order of your characters than in the heat of battle, which takes a million years to fix?

Alli

TRC:
Maybe. I don't know, I only played part of persona 1. So I wouldn't know. How about finding out and writing a guide for RPGamer? Since we don't have one. ( Whoring my section out? You better beleive it. RPGUIDES!!! )

 
Letter after LB went to sleep II

*Peeks out of Box again* Heeeeey!

I need some Food in here! I'm Huuuuungry!
That aside: Why is it that ZOE: Fist of Mars ends up Shamelessly ripping off the Super Robot Wars series and STILL ends up being a damn good game? And what do people see in Golden Sun?

TRC:
~throws some food into the box~
There you go. As for ZOE ripping off SRW I wouldn't know, since I haven't seen either. But I do know they both invovle giant robots beating the stuffing out of each other, and can anyone person really take credit for that? If so can I have his address? I want to kick his ass.

Golden Sun is apparently a good game. I wouldn't know I can never find it when I go to buy it. WHat I do know is that it is made by the same people who made Shining Force which is a big double A+ in my book.



Quickies

Greetings (Goog sings) Lord Brian and TRC You guys need a deathmatch fanfic to settle this.
Imperial Mog

TRC:
Hey, where were you yesterday? You didn't even send in an email. I am disappointed in you.
And as to a fanfic, wouldn't happen, cause who would write it? I mean we all know I would win, but how? Would he run, would I decapitate him? What?

LB:
The sad thing is, I'm sure there are people right now thinking about writing that fanfic. And yes, of course TRC would win...by default, because it just isn't worth my time to show up when I have better things to do. Like his mom.

TRC:
That reminds me, tell your mom to stop calling me, it was just that one time and I was drunk.

you guys are funny.

--chris

p.s. i don't think you're just a stupid bird.

TRC:
Funny? You think this is a joke kid? Someone died yesterday, take it seriously. So he did come back from the grave...

LB:
Pfft, it was just a flesh wound. Nothing I couldn't regenerate overnight.

I WANT KINGDOM HEARTS AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!!!!!! - Galvatron

TRC:
The men in the white coats are on their way now to give you 'kingdom hearts'. Just leave your door open.

LB:I've got your Kingdom Hearts right here. :: makes a vulgar gesture ::

I just wanted to ask Turkey-boy here what his favorite game was...?

by the way- WHY even bother fighting LB when you know its useless? even if you somehow won, theres no chance of you beating a slime such as googleshng...

~GWELENGUCHENKUS

TRC:
RPGwise it is DW3 color, the black mage is just so damn cute. Out of any game it would have to be GTA2/3. I can't decide which I like more, nor can I stop playing them. I can beat Google, have you ever played any of the DW games? All you do is bludgeon them. I wouldn't though cause he is my boss, and my dm in a (shameless plug) Tyranny game I am in. And since I play the token human, I think my chances of living are increased by staying on his good side.

Shameless plug ---> there's a petition at http://www.starmen.net to show Nintendo public support for a Gamecube Earthbound. ~Torwyn

TRC:
Agian LB is asleep, but he already saw this on IRC, so I will let what he said be seen. LB: Nintendo couldn't care less about their petition. I'm not saying mother 3 won't be made, I'm just saying nintendo (or hal, or whoever) will make it when they're good and ready

And then there were two:

LB:
Because I am a benevolent Lord, I shall let TRC keep his life, despite the inhumane attack he hoisted upon me yesterday. I will, however, inject him with my special brand of sarcasm and all around hatred for the world, and shape him into LordBrian2 when he isn't looking. Muahaha!

LB2: RAGE SARCASM!!! RAAR. Tomorrow is Scar, send music letters his way. BILE! HATRED!

 TRC "DIE DIE DIE" @rpgamer.com
and
 LordBrian "I'm not DEAD!" @rpgamer.com

 TRC changes back into himself "sucker"

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