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Googleshng - August 23 '02- 2:00 Eastern Standard Time

Isn't it amazing how a little thing like going to a relative's house for what should be a quick birthday dinner can catapult you into a hellish 3 day nightmare with no food, no drink, no internet access, and no way home?

Oh yeah, most of you probably have cars.

Anyway, you now have some idea of what happened to me this week, and although circumstances were beyond my control, I still felt unbelievably guilty about missing those two columns. So I was pretty darn pleased to learn that Chim's moving and therefore didn't want to handle this column. So here comes my first Friday column in quite some time now.

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Nice word usage, 'spiffy', I love that word! Although I am prone to saying, "Now you're on the trolley!" Aside from my insanity, do you think a Gundam RPG will ever be made? I think it could work well as a tactical like Vanguard Bandits. Thanks for your input if you give any!

You know, every so often, someone comments on the fact that "spiffy" is part of my vocabulary. I never understood why. I mean, there's some MUCH more archaic words in my repertoire. Heck, just look at that last sentence.

Anyway though, there's already a whole slew of Gundam games out there, a decent number of which are RPGs, and a decent number of which are TRPGs. Plus then there's the whole Super Robot Wars series which has more mecha from Gundam than everything else combined.

Nerd Fodder!

Heya, Google-sama!

According to the Manual of the Planes, no one is certain how many layers exist in the Abyss. What, exactly, is stopping somebody from teleporting to the first layer, jumping off the edge, and counting the layers as he falls (preferably someone with wings or a gate spell ready, of course)? I just don't understand how something as simple as figuring out how deep the Abyss goes has never been done before.

BL Alien
F0R GR34T JUST1C3!!!

Don't get too many questions about D&D... I'll blame NWN I think.

Anyway, the problem with counting in such a matter is really best summed up with that good ol' physics expression g=9.8 m/s2 which in layman's terms means the longer you fall, the faster you fall. Now then, you know how if you're driving down the highway fast enough, the support beams on the guard rails fly by so fast you can't even see them and it looks like the rails are just floating there? Same principal.

Easy Answer


I am going to purchase a PS2 one of these days and have been hearing a lot about Xenogears and Xenosaga. Since Xenosaga is a prequel to Xenogears, should I play Xenosaga first? Or the other way around?


Well, Xenogears is out right now, and has been for quite some time, so it's nice and cheap. Besides which, Xenogears is Episode 5, Xenosaga 1 there is Episode 1. You'd have to wait through another 3 games in there, after which there'd be a Xenogears remake, and quite frankly, that'd take a good decade.

No mention you say?

Dear Google,
I have a quick question. Is Squaresoft going to be Remaking the Old PSX Final Fantasy Games to the PS2? I have not heard anything on the subject in a While and am getting curious about the status of the remakes.

Thank you,
Salty Dawg

That question has come up in this column two or three times within the last week. Actually, I'm thinking of adding it to the infamous FAQ. Anyway though, Square is not currently working on such remakes, won't be any time soon, and if they ever DO remake them, a news story will be written on the effect, and it will be talked about at length all over I'm sure.

and he's COMPLAINING?!?

Dear Googleshng,

So I take it you've heard about Final Fantasy Tactics being a completely different game? What do you make of this? While I'm still going to buy this game for love of the original Playstation game, I'm still a bit disappointed that this game isn't going to be a pseudo-remake as originally stated. I really wanted the GBA version to shed some light on the ending of Final Fantasy Tactics for Playstation...

-- Roogle, or Jamil, or whatever.

Let me get this straight. You're getting a brand new game, which is the sequel to a game you love, and for which people have been begging for a sequel for years, and you're COMPLAINING that it isn't just a watered down port of a game you already own to a system with a screen about 1/50th the size? I don't mean to offend, but there is something seriously wrong with your thought process there.

Getting on to the latter portion of your letter though, A- A sequel would be a LOT more likely to re-explain FFT's ending than a remake would, and B- Since when does FFT's ending need any light shed on it? That's the most straightforward and explicit ending I've seen on a TRPG since... uh... ever?

After this column I think I'll go play with my Nintendo Dolphin or my Sega Katana.

Hello, Sir Googleshang, Lord of Slimes from Dragon Warrior, Breath of Fire, Legend of Legaia, and many more I cannot think of at the moment...

Anyway, the reason I chose "PLEASE ANSWER THIS" as the subject line is I need you to answer two questions for me.

First, I am in an RPG slump. I recently won Paper Mario for NU64 yesterday after winning Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask. *Full page of text snipped for brevity's sake*

I get a disturbing number of letters along the lines of "What game should I play next?" and they always leave me staring blankly. This looked like one at first glance, but since you're looking for a game that ISN'T on the long list of things you own, I can help you. If you'd like a spiritual sequel to Lufia 2 (as opposed to the nasty ol' dungeon crawl that was Lufia:tLR), I'd strongly recommend the Wild ARMs series... which I seem to be doing a lot since there's a new one on the way. If you want something really different, I'd go with Shadow Hearts, or one of the Mega Man Battle Network games. Also, if it hits you that you have a hge stack of RPGs you aren't in the mood to touch, you might want to consider throwing a non-RPG into your diet. Like, say, Conker's Bad Fur Day. Seeing how you have an N64 hooked up and all.

Second, when I was playing Paper Mario, Mario's rival, Jr. Troopa, seems to appear a lot more than other enemies. Just out of curiousity, is a "rival of the hero who constantly challenges the good guy" event a cliche of RPGs? I found this trait in FF8 (Squall v. Seifer), BoF4 (Khan v. Ryu & co.), Xenogears (Fei v. Ramsus), and Pokemon (Ash/Red v. Gary/Blue). Can you name any other RPGs that have this trait?

I wouldn't call Jr. Troopa a rival per se, nor would I call the trend of having one boss you have to fight several times over the course of a game a cliché. Granted, you can find at least one in most RPGs, but it's not really specific enough to get clichéed.

Third, can you name any websites that go into comprehensive detail about the Suikoden or Wild ARMs games? I am quite interested in these games and any information about them would be highly appreciated.

That depends what you mean by "comprehensive detail". If you want cold hard facts, like release dates and FAQs and media archives, we're pretty darn good I'd think. If you mean someone's random theories and cross-examinations of the plot, look for a big fan page, if you want general summaries, well, I can give those right now:

Suikoden: Take your standard generic RPG, then throw in about 100 optional characters you can get to join your party. Kinda like Chrono Cross, but without the weird combat system and dialects for everyone.

Wild ARMs: Lufia 2 in the setting of Trigun.

Finally, since you are a human in real life and a slime online, what is behind the name "Googleshng" and why choose the identity of a slime online? (If you already answered this question in a previous column, then refer me to that column than answering this question, okay?)

Well, that is all I have to ask. Please answer these with great care.
Thank you.

Neo-Omega K1

P.S. Hoobastank Rules!!!

Well, I obtained the name Googleshng like most names are obtained. It was arbitrarily assigned to me back when I was just a wee little proto-nerd. As for "choosing the identity of a slime online" uh, I've never done any such thing. That's kinda like saying Gallager claims to be a watermelon. I'm rather fond of slimes, and use them to amuse others, but I've never in my life said I WAS one.




Sorry to bother you, but is there any way to download your Inuyasha 'Hungy lie a wolf' music video? It sounds like it'd be pretty good.
-thank you

THAT hasn't been brought up in a while! Unfortunately, the answer is a big whopping no, since I don't know anyone willing to consider that sort of a bandwidth drag on their server.

The Last Laugh:

Ahhhhhhhh........ I missed doing this all week. Unfortunately, it's the weekend now, so I must be withdrawing further into my little cave to update my page of rantings and watch Farscape. See you all in a couple days!

Oh, and a parting final thought to people drooling over ports. If you like an old game of yours so much you're planning to buy a port of it so that you can play it again, bear in mind that you already own that game, and there's nothing preventuing you from playing it right now.

Googleshng "I need to learn the Escape spell."

Or find a store that sells Wyvern Wings or Escapipes or those rat things from Earthbound...

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