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Googleshng - August 8 '02- 2:00 Eastern Standard Time

Mental health is always a concern of mine, but hacking away at this pesky foe too much in one week leaves one's psyche fragile and prone to damage from things like TV commercials or messages from other worlds. Then when you tack onto that a duel to the death with the great spider queen Sheelob, your nerves get a bit rattled. Actually, I shouldn't say that, because while "Sheelob" there WAS the biggest spider I have ever seen in my room, one twice as big just appeared, perhaps seeking revenge. I may not survive until morning, but I have sufficient tools to take down any arachnid less than a quarter of a meter around, so the column should go smoothly.

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Fan Googles

Incontestable proof that I occassionally recieve letters from alternate dimensions.

If you suffer from a heart condition, or belief everything you read, you are advised to skip to the next letter.

Dear Google With sega making games mostly for xbox, and now, Nintendo makings games SOLELY for the Xbox, do you think Microsoft is going to hang Sony out to dry by buying all of the other game developers out? Also, is the Xbox online network as good as they say it is? I hear it's supposed to be better than the PS2 network because they only allow high speed internet connections, while the PS2 network will let people use 56k modems, and i hear that causes some major lag in the game. Just wondered what you thought about all that. Anthony Galas <a.k.a SoulReaver1208>

Googleshng:
GREAT GURGLING GODS what a horrific dystopia of a parallel universe you must reside in! The very thought of being forced to wield that hideous monstrosity Microsoft calls a controller to enjoy the fruits of Miyamoto's brain fills me with a more profound sense of disgust than I have ever experienced. But then for all I know in this strange land from whence you come where Nintendo makes Xbox games, Bill Gates is a benevolent hippie constantly helping the needy and promoting intellectual and artistic growth, Pocky tastes like sulfur, and the Xbox controller is a smooth, slim, and elegant work of art. Actually, I'd probably eat Sulfur Pocky if they made it but that's beside the point.

ANYWAY though, getting on to your questions, I sincerely doubt Microsoft's network is as good as advertised, because really, what is? Also, any network that doesn't support narrowband connections is inherently inferior to one that does, on the simple principle that it excludes a huge chunk of the gaming population. Finally, I have played 4-way RTS games with most people on dialup without experiencing any noticable lag on occassion, so it can be reasonably assured that the mere presence of slow connections on a network is not a problem. Besides, lag is generally only a problem for the person with the slower connection, so you'd be fine regardless.

 
Respite from the madness

Hello Google,

I need help, I am leaving for college on the 20th of August, so I can start on the 26th, but, I am in a predicament.
This summer I have been DDRing a lot, and I just saw that 3 good RPGs are coming out in a row.
Wild Arms 3 on Sept. 16
Kingdom Hearts on Sept. 17
and Summoner 2
What do you recommend doing?
I know everyone says money is an issue in college, but I have to own all these games.

Thanks

Googleshng:
Well, if you want all those games, and you can afford'em, buy'em. Simply enough choice.

 
2D? Or not 2D?

i just took a look at the new pics for tales of destiny 2, and I was wondering what other 2d rpgs there are on the ps2, and what ones are coming out soon. thanks, jay.

Googleshng:
Every so often, I get a letter from someone proclaiming the superiority of 2D RPGs over the 3D variety. Every time, I always ask myself the same question. "What the bloody smurfing deuce is a "3D RPG?" The only thing in my mind that even comes close is Skies of Arcadia, and then only on the world map.

Anyway though, if you click that "Release Dates" link up on the left, you'll get a nice searchable list of every PS2 RPG released or in development, with links to their pages so you can look at screens and judge for yourself whether they're 2D or not.

 
Paper Games

Okay, so, I noticed that your issue list for 8/7/02 contains the word GURPs and I have a question, as I'm honestly curious. Do you prefer GURPs style RPG or the original system? (I'm asking this mostly in reference to WhiteWolf, which happens to be my beloved publishing company....Mage: The Sorcerer's Crusade. Oh, tasty.) Anyway yeah I'll stop babbling now!

Googleshng:
First off, capitalize the S in GURPS you! Moving on to your question though, I have much less experience with both GURPS and Whitewolf games than I'd like, but I'd say I prefer the GURPS-ified versions since you get a more robust character creation system, a rules system I prefer (which relies on a type of die I have far more of), and of course compatability with the other 50,000 or so GURPS books out there.

 
Another Looney...

er...yeah, noticed that game scam of yers has mysteriously faded into nothingness -- got busted eh?

-Shake

Googleshng:
My first thought upon seeing this letter in my box was something "What in the holyt @#%$ is this person talking about?" Then I thought about for another 10 hours and I think I figured it out.

This is one of those weirdos who misses the point of the Games-for-Guesthosting chain.

Yes, it seems "Shake" here has stumbled upon my dastardly plan. I extort copies of games I already own from unsuspecting readers, allow them to guest host a few times, then kick them to the curb, setting up a fake e-mail account and web page which I update along with the other twenty or so former "participants" to create the illusion that they got a game in return for giving one to their predecessor. Sure, it requires the crafting of dozens of personas, and the devotion of my every waking moment, but it's worth it to see those six used copies of Valkyrie Profile gathering dust on a shelf! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Meanwhile, back in reality, the Games-for-Guesthosting chain is broken down at the moment as the current holder of the guest host chair has evidently dropped off the face of the earth. I don't know if he's dead or in the witness protection program, or abducted by aliens or what, but as he isn't around to request a game, nobody can send him one, thus no new guest host can take his place. I suppose I could just start up a new chain, but thanks to the recent donation to me of all of a friend's Saturn games, there are no old obscure games left for me to track down. Maybe I'll kick things off with a contest or something. Or maybe the current guest host will rise from the grave as Red Guesthost.



Quickies

hi, googleshng

Hi, person who didn't sign their ultra-quick quickie.

The Last Laugh:

At the tone, the time will be 6:30 AM. My battles with giant spiders must have lasted longer than I thought. I'm going to try to get some sleep, then see if I can get their heads mounted on the wall or something. Have a good weekend.



Rob Hamilton - August 8 '02- 15:49 Eastern Standard Time

Those of you writing in for tomorrow's column will probably want to know that Brad Lohr, known at times as The Oracle, will be hosting with me. He has proclaimed that letters signed by "Octopus Steve" get priority over anything else tomorrow. The priority of other animals named Steve is unconfirmed, as is that of alternately dubbed octopi.

- Chimerasame

Googleshng "Nerd, Writer, Slayer of Evil" @rpgamer.com

and I can even fix computers!

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