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Googleshng - April 3 '02- 2:00 Eastern Standard Time

Yesterday I got to deal with the fallout of RPGamer's April Fools jokes, saying to 10 or so people, "Nope. Was a joke." Today though, when I was checking my e-mail, I saw this wonderful sight. I would have selected one of those 182K letters so you could see the body, but the body is just a continuation of the subject line, and I didn't want to draw more blue censorship bars. It must be harder on him than us though. I mean most people here at RPGamer have broadband connections and know how to set a filter, but at about 60 182K letters and counting, he must have such a MAJOR hand cramp by now... plus his ISP might cut him off.

Some people just can't take a joke I suppose.

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On the other day: what's sad is that there would be absolutely no trouble fitting FF7 onto carts. This was the big reason I was pissed that Square moved to PSX way back when: Oh, it's such a big game, whoo, the intro movie is several times the size of FF6, whoo, pretty graphics. Gdammit, you could fit the thing on GBA no problem without those retarded FMV that just make the game seem less like a game and more like a movie. Boo! Boooo!

You'd better be careful picking on FF7. Someone might swear at you all day. Anyway, FF7's FMV isn't all that spectacular by today's standards, so I'm sure we could live without it if Square actually did decide to make such a port.

Anyway. Considering you went and made your own table RPG thingy, you could quite possibly be a great person to ask the following question. Side note: nice job on that diceless RPG. It's spiffy. I'd pay you for it, but I'd honestly never use it; it was good for a read though. If I ever use it, you're getting a royalty check.

Thanks. I'm constantly amazed how well that little project goes over considering it was specifically designed to appeal to just a small group of people...

Following question: to what extent would you alter the gaming world you're GMing? See, I'm not a big fan of house rules, and I usually find myself sticking strictly to book rules (including character creation, die-rolling, smart enemies fighting intelligently, etc.). I don't kow if this is the best of ideas, but it's second nature to me, and since all my encounters are usually set up rather well anyway, nobody ends up dying due to my failure to "cheat," and everyone ends up having a good time, possibly because I'm playing fair.

Personally, I always hate playing RPGs that have a really detailed specific world full of interesting world rulers and such because there's always the risk that I'll write an adventure that conflicts with the contents of a new sourcebook later. That's why I tend to stick with generic worlds, like AD&D or GURPS, or games I made myself. Of course, I refuse to make new stuff for games that could conflict with people's campaigns. As far as messing with the rules though, I tend not to. If I want a good set of rules, I'll play a well-designed game. If I'm playing a poorly designed game on the other hand, I'll play off how stupid the rules are.

But another dilemma I've hit upon is within this new game I'm playing, which is Wizards of the Coasts' take on the Wheel of Time RPG. Yes, I know, you've never read the Wheel of Time series (hereafter referred to as "the books"), or so I remember hearing, but that's okay. The problem is that I want the characters to be within the guidelines of the books, but I'm not sure if this is such a good idea. I'd like them to interact with characters from the books, but I realize this poses the risk of creating continuity errors with the books. Do you think it would be a good idea to try and keep the characters in my plot away from the events in the books, or would it be better to risk them doing things that could mess up what "really happened" in the books? Or is there some GMing technique to prevent discontinuity while having the characters participate in book events?

Doh! I hate it when I answer questions before they're asked. To reiterate, I can't stand playing a game set in someone else's world while they're still creating it, and simply avoid doing so to begin with.

What do you, oh wondrous RPGuru, have to say? What would be the most fun for me and my players?

- Colin

PS: 90% of TV isn't crap! 100% is! (or near enough)

No, there's some good shows on TV. To name a few: The Simpsons, Futurama, The Critic, The Tick, The Twilight Zone, Monty Python, Farscape, and The Daily Show. Obviously the exact percentage varies based on personal tastes and the medium, but there isn't a single medium where the vast majority of stuff isn't putrid, or where there aren't at least a FEW good things.


To Googleshng,
Aegis never Pastes my Questions...! ;**( I'm truely heartbroken,

1. I simply ask her a Question on Panzer Dragoon Saga, CONSIDERING that theres NO reviews on RPGAMER, I just wanted an opinion on the game, sinse I have a friend that wants me to play it, and it costs a lot of money when you try to buy it off of e-bay and I don't know where else to find it, could you possibly help me with that? Can you tell me your opinion on the game if you've ever played it?

Her? I don't think I've ever met a girl named Andrew, and I HAVE met Aegis, thus I believe that's the wrong pronoun. Anyway though, PDS:

The main appeal is how fights work. Whatever you're fighting (an airship, a swarm of bugs, a pack of wild beasts, a giant spider, whatever) is in the middle of the screen, generally moving forward. You meanwhile are a guy riding on the back of a dragon, spinning around the middle as much as you want. Monsters have different attacks depending what side you're on, ususally have a weak point on them somewhere, and will be turning around to get the best angle for themselves. It's kind of like Skies of Arcadia's airship battles if they used the ATB system from the FF games. Oh and then you get more experience the more efficiently you win a fight.

2. Considering how heartbroken I was not to have my question put up, what kind of letters do you decide not to post? Why do you think Aegis decided my letter was crap?

Well, I know for a fact that your letter wasn't printed because Aegis has never played PDS, I have, and he was planning to forward it to me so I could give a decent answer. Generally speaking, that's how letters get picked though. Out of however many letters the Q&A host gets, they pick the half-dozen or so that they can best answer, and print those. And since "however many" can be up well over 100, you really shouldn't take not being printed personally.

3. If Sharkey works at RPGamer, what section does he work at? o_O?

~Aegis won't recieve any letters from I, Gwelenguchenkus! ;|-

If Sharkey works at RPGamer, he should be fired since I've never in my life seen him do one bit of work. I'm pretty darn sure he doesn't though, and I really can't help but wonder how you would get such an idea.

15 minutes of fame

Evening, good sir. I hope this email finds you well.

I am under the impression that you enjoyed my Time Cube parody. Indeed, to be ranked right after Blizzard Entertainment in anything is a tribute in and of itself. So I thought you might like to know a bit more about it. I assume, of course, that it was my joke you saw. I make this assumption safely because I sincerely think I'm the only person stupid enough to comb through that train wreck of HTML to parody it.

I was pointed in the direction of your column by some online chums of mine and decided to drop you a line to let you know exactly who was behind it. I am DarkMoogle, chief writer, creator, and head mucky-muck of Pa Sa Reppu, which can be found at . I'm not entirely sure where I got the inspiration for the joke, whether it was massive head trauma or something that just clicked, but there it is. The sad thing is, it actually could have been a lot longer and I cut out almost half of the HTML due to time constraints. Bless that crazy Timecube guy.

Anyway, if any of your readers want to see it, I've archived it at Thanks for the compliments, and keep on keepin' on.


Moral: If I speak highly of you and forget your name, if you call me on it, I'll probably let you plug anything you want!

And I still say it's pretty freaky that someone would be willing to take the time to spoof timecube so accurately.

Deep Insight

Heya, Google,

Maybe I've just been oblivious to it, but is there a trend set where once a game reaches either a certain age or gets a sequel, it becomes perfectly fine to bash the game at will? My example is Xenogears. I bought the game when it first came out in the US, and I kept up with anything and everything I could about the game. There were people that didn't like the second disc even then, but they tended to like the game as a whole. Now, possibly because of Xenosaga, I get this enormous feeling of "DI$K 2 sux0rs! Xenogears sux()rz!" from anyone who talks about the game. Xenogears isn't the only example... I've seen it happen to every FF from IV to IX, too. I've even seen Metal Gear Solid trashed compared to it's sequel, believe it or not. Am I just naive or do people wait until a certain time and then start to trash these games? I hate to see games get trashed because it's the "hip" thing to do.

Thanks in advance. Have a good day.

XeroZohar - Third Advent to the glorious 'Mother of Destruction'

You've actually hit the nail quite nicely on the head. It's not so much bashing becomes "in" though as much as bashing ceasing to be taboo. When a well-received game first comes out, it has an honor-guard of rabid fanboys who will rip any who speak against it to shreds. After a sequel comes out though, or the game fades from memory, those fans disperse, so people are allowed to talk about all the problems they have without fear of reprisal. Here's another example: You can badmouth FF9 until you're blue in the face today and get away with it, but if you were to say something like "FF10's sphere grid has lousy controls and it's way too hard to find a particular ability you want to head towards," an army of little demons will scream how much you "sux" for the next several days. Heck, I might even have to deal with that just for using this example!

An amusing curse...

Re: Your April Fools' FF7 Port Joke.

<font=rabid rpg fangirl wannabe>
Oh get my hopes up and send them crashing down, will you? I hereby curse you in the name of Zoamelgustar! May your inbox be filled with ads for Herbal Viagra and mortgage quotes! May your PSX not work even when it's turned upside down! May your memory cards be chewed up by your cat! May you be cursed in your nightmares with Barney singing over and over again! May your days be merry and bright and may all your Christmases be white...oh
*pant puff pant pant*

You actually had me going on that one. Make that #9 on your list of Gullible People.


Card Captor Ribby

You know, the first part of that curse already applies. Fortunately I shouldn't have to worry much about the rest, since as we all know, Zoamelgustar is a DOUBLEY-fictional demon... unless 2 fictionals make a non-fictional... but in that case Gekiganger would be real too...


Hey there g,

I know this may not be the kind of thing that's kosher to talk about here, but I need to hear your thoughts on this one.

So, the GIA is down; forever, I believe. And RPGFan has a scant 53% (last I checked) of the funds needed to continue. My questions are these: must RPGamer inevitably face the same fate? Is growing too large and expensive to exist the tragic fate of RPG sites? Is there something different about RPGamer that gives us hope that you shall succeed where others have failed? Or should we just keep reading "Ask Google," knowing every day that it could be our last?

Thanks for your time, googleshng.


It's honestly a sad state of affairs when this is something to be proud of, but RPGamer actually has enough mastery over the black arts of Acquiring Decent Advertising Contracts that we aren't bleeding out massive amounts of cash every month. So RPGamer won't be disappearing or begging for money any time in the foreseeable future.


"Of course 90% of Science Fiction is crap, 90% of ANYTHING is crap." was said by Theodore (Ted) Sturgeon.

It's commonly called Sturgeon's Law.

John Dilick

Ahhh yes. Thanks for reminding me.

About Ross Bemrose's letter about the famous singers in RPG's...

The song that Hikaru Utada sings in Kingdom Hearts is called Hikari.

Just thought you might want to know..

- GuruClef -

Wow. 2 informative quickies in one day.

The Last Laugh:

This sucks. I have a whole bunch of letters here I'd like to personally reply to, but I have no way to send e-mail that doesn't require me to use icky old webmail... oh well, maybe I'll just swallow my pride and use it.

And now, for the first time and presumably the last, I have to go get ready because I'm being dragged to the ballet.

Googleshng "Several hours of watching people dance around? Joy..."

Well hey, it MIGHT be good...

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